Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[chicoazul]

Fully understand and thank you for replying.

Like deep inside I know that work won't be as bad as I'm making it seem, I just really do feel like unable to start so soon after the funeral due to how close I was to him.

I was tempted to go into the shop and just explain the situation to the manager, even if I just get it postponed by a week or so while I try get myself together.

Would you say that's reasonable?

My old managers knew of the situation with my grandad as he's been sick for awhile and they mentioned it on my forms which they sent to the new shop and said if circumstances change to just contact the new shop. I'm just not sure if I'm being unreasonable by needing that time to grieve and try get myself together.

It's completely reasonable and a good move mate. Do this and also make that doctors appointment. Things WILL get better for you with decisions like this.

 

[ScouseClown]

Thanks again! I know I got to get myself out of this rut and know I need help.

I'll get the doctor booked asap and head into town this week and try speak to my new manager.

Really appreciate it and I'm thankful there's people who are understandable and not quick to judge or kick off when I vent or tell feelings like I've previously experienced.

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks again! I know I got to get myself out of this rut and know I need help.

I'll get the doctor booked asap and head into town this week and try speak to my new manager.

Really appreciate it and I'm thankful there's people who are understandable and not quick to judge or kick off when I vent or tell feelings like I've previously experienced.

There's many on here that have walked in your shoes mate.

You're amongst friends, don't ever be worried about posting anything that's on your mind x

 

[chicoazul]

Thanks again! I know I got to get myself out of this rut and know I need help.

I'll get the doctor booked asap and head into town this week and try speak to my new manager.

Really appreciate it and I'm thankful there's people who are understandable and not quick to judge or kick off when I vent or tell feelings like I've previously experienced.

Is right. Make sure you post back and let us know, no matter what happens mate.

You'd be amazed of the % of lads who've suffered from depression or anxiety, or both.

You're taking good decisions this week that will benefit. And it was you who had the answers to be fair. Well in, you're on your way to feeling better.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

She contacted me again somehow last night telling me that there is a proposal at her place which her family is pressurizing her to accept. And that she cannot find it in her heart to accept anyone else. She said she's been fighting again at her place to deny that proposal and has told her folks she wants me. However, her mother then gets ill, gets a high blood pressure and has told her that won't accept me. Her sisters are still pressurizing her. For now, she is trying extremely hard to fight off the pressure and somehow change her family's perception about me. But it looks like they don't wanna change and they won't even meet me or my folks to make a better judgement about us.

I asked my folks to contact her stubborn mother again but now even they say that "We contacted them not once but twice, tried for them to open to the idea by atleast meeting us but they disrespected us both times and did not even want to meet. Her family does not wanna let her marry you. So what more can we do?"

I wish running off was an option for us. Her folks won't even let her leave house, nor would she wanna leave her old mother alone after all these years. She knows what her family is doing is simply wrong and non sensical. Now my folks are telling me to accept the reality and are telling me that even things work out, judging her folks, they will still create mess for you two in the future.

Why is life so cruel? Are people not allowed to live happily?

I feel so sad for you. I met a Pakistani lady through my trade union work.She had two young daughters and an older son. She was lovely and trying very hard to find her son a bride. But there was no pressure- she pointed him in the direction of a few ladies but always said to him that it was up to hm. She guided him but ultimately it was his choice. I so wish you can find happiness with the person you choose x

 

[COYBL25]

She contacted me again somehow last night telling me that there is a proposal at her place which her family is pressurizing her to accept. And that she cannot find it in her heart to accept anyone else. She said she's been fighting again at her place to deny that proposal and has told her folks she wants me. However, her mother then gets ill, gets a high blood pressure and has told her that won't accept me. Her sisters are still pressurizing her. For now, she is trying extremely hard to fight off the pressure and somehow change her family's perception about me. But it looks like they don't wanna change and they won't even meet me or my folks to make a better judgement about us.

I asked my folks to contact her stubborn mother again but now even they say that "We contacted them not once but twice, tried for them to open to the idea by atleast meeting us but they disrespected us both times and did not even want to meet. Her family does not wanna let her marry you. So what more can we do?"

I wish running off was an option for us. Her folks won't even let her leave house, nor would she wanna leave her old mother alone after all these years. She knows what her family is doing is simply wrong and non sensical. Now my folks are telling me to accept the reality and are telling me that even things work out, judging her folks, they will still create mess for you two in the future.

Why is life so cruel? Are people not allowed to live happily?

I agree with @chicoazul mate.

She's more important than her manipulative mother, who is shamefully using ill health as an emotional weapon against the two of you. Trust me in this she will become more " ill " if it ever looks like her daughter isn't towing the line.
( I've got first hand experience of this through my oxygen wasting parasitic sister )

Run away with her, be free and be happy together.

There's an two British born Pakistani Muslim lads, by me who've both married white British girls.

Their Mum ( a consultant ) has disowned the pair of them and has never seen two of her grandkids as a result, but the dad is sound with it and fully supportive and sees them all the time.

You don't know who is going to be on your side properly, until you jump mate.

Go for it !

* there are groups within your Communtity that can and will help mate. What you're experiencing isn't that uncommon nowadays.

 

[Tim's tourettes]

Ruminating is such a killer. Wish I could find a way to stop it, especially considering things I'm fixated on aren't really in the realms of my control.

Haven't posted for a while but this really hit home with me. I got that bad with the fretting and 'what ifs' that I gave in and went on meds. One of the best decisions I have made. Meds combined with cbt have me back on the straight and narrow. I do still fret and worry to a point but I am able to challenge those thoughts and manage a lot better now.

 

[davids]

Found this quite an interesting read. http://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.1002257

 

[Jokerdan]

Haven't posted for a while but this really hit home with me. I got that bad with the fretting and 'what ifs' that I gave in and went on meds. One of the best decisions I have made. Meds combined with cbt have me back on the straight and narrow. I do still fret and worry to a point but I am able to challenge those thoughts and manage a lot better now.

Taking meds and having CBT is not 'giving in'. It should be seen as a positive rather than a negative. Can't emphasise enough why people should consider doing so as a sign of weakness. It isn't. It's known as re-taking control of your life.

 

[COYBL25]

Taking meds and having CBT is not 'giving in'. It should be seen as a positive rather than a negative. Can't emphasise enough why people should consider doing so as a sign of weakness. It isn't. It's known as re-taking control of your life.

Spot mate.

In fairness to @Tim's tourettes I don't think he meant it to read like that.

I think what he is trying to say, is that he'd reached the end of the line.

 

[Jokerdan]

Spot mate.

In fairness to @Tim's tourettes I don't think he meant it to read like that.

I think what he is trying to say, is that he'd reached the end of the line.

Fair point. But there is still that stigma out there and those who will look at it as weak willed or 'giving in'. More fool them but just wanted to make that connection.

 

[ScouseClown]

Went the doctor this morning and been given Sertraline 50mg tablets.

Anyone had any experience with these?

Got to go back in 3 weeks or so and check on my progress and see if they need to change the dosage.

Also been signed off work for at least a month for now.

Took my letter from doctor into work and explained the situation to my new managers and they seemed understandable at least.

 

[Groucho]

Went the doctor this morning and been given Sertraline 50mg tablets.

Anyone had any experience with these?

Got to go back in 3 weeks or so and check on my progress and see if they need to change the dosage.

Also been signed off work for at least a month for now.

Took my letter from doctor into work and explained the situation to my new managers and they seemed understandable at least.

Sertraline can take a bit of getting used to.

 

[Tim's tourettes]

Taking meds and having CBT is not 'giving in'. It should be seen as a positive rather than a negative. Can't emphasise enough why people should consider doing so as a sign of weakness. It isn't. It's known as re-taking control of your life.

Hi mate. You are right, I very much did see it as a sign of weakness. I work in a manly, stressful job in a manager role and see myself as a 'proper bloke' it was this stupid, manly pride attitude that stopped me seeking help earlier. If I could turn back the clock I would have been on meds/cbt when first advised years ago. My marriage wouldn't have been in tatters and I wouldn't have been on the brink. you are spot on with what u say. I now talk openly and honestly with people about what I have been through in the hope people can beat it better than I did by trying to 'man' it out for years. Apologies if my post came over wrong, it's been the hardest thing I have ever had to cope with and I respect anyone out there trying to get over any MH issues. It's opened my eyes

 

[Jokerdan]

Went the doctor this morning and been given Sertraline 50mg tablets.

Anyone had any experience with these?

Got to go back in 3 weeks or so and check on my progress and see if they need to change the dosage.

Also been signed off work for at least a month for now.

Took my letter from doctor into work and explained the situation to my new managers and they seemed understandable at least.

Yeah, just give them a chance. May take 5-6 weeks before they kick in but one morning l woke up (having suffered weeks of sleepless nights) feeling so refreshed and wanting to take on the world. It was like a cloud had been lifted but it was a sign that the meds were rebalancing the chemicals in my brain and giving me back some equilibrium to my life. Still on them after 7/8 months but seeing my GP soon to start reducing them down from 50 mg and will gradually wean myself off. One tip though is to ensure you take them the same time each day. I usually take mine early evening so that they work overnight.