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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

hallamblue said:
Mum has died. She passed away at 5pm. She chose to go which I'm glad about, as the situation was hopeless and the hospital were only prolonging the inevitable. Dad managed to get there in time, and was holding her hand when she went. I'm travelling over now to be with him. It's a surreal feeling, knowing that I'll never speak to her again.
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i'm so sorry for your loss. Remember your Mum as the woman she was- not the person in hospital. Love to you and your family x
 
hallamblue said:
Mum has died. She passed away at 5pm. She chose to go which I'm glad about, as the situation was hopeless and the hospital were only prolonging the inevitable. Dad managed to get there in time, and was holding her hand when she went. I'm travelling over now to be with him. It's a surreal feeling, knowing that I'll never speak to her again.
Click to expand...

Sincere condolences mate. And although it sounds trite, your Dad being there will be a precious memory for him.
 
hallamblue said:
Mum has died. She passed away at 5pm. She chose to go which I'm glad about, as the situation was hopeless and the hospital were only prolonging the inevitable. Dad managed to get there in time, and was holding her hand when she went. I'm travelling over now to be with him. It's a surreal feeling, knowing that I'll never speak to her again.
Click to expand...

Sorry for your loss. Your mum's at peace now. Take care mate.
 
hallamblue said:
Mum has died. She passed away at 5pm. She chose to go which I'm glad about, as the situation was hopeless and the hospital were only prolonging the inevitable. Dad managed to get there in time, and was holding her hand when she went. I'm travelling over now to be with him. It's a surreal feeling, knowing that I'll never speak to her again.
Click to expand...

Deepest sympathy and my sincere condolences to you. May she rest in peace now free from the suffering shes experienced. You wont know whether youre coming or going so all I can say to you is be strong for your Dad...and keep your other loved ones and friends close as YOU need
their support now which I'm sure they will give.
 
Jacob said:
Deepest sympathy and my sincere condolences to you. May she rest in peace now free from the suffering shes experienced. You wont know whether youre coming or going so all I can say to you is be strong for your Dad...and keep your other loved ones and friends close as YOU need
their support now which I'm sure they will give.
Click to expand...
I'm lucky I have a great wife, 2 lovely kids, a sister I get on with and 1 true friend which is all you need in my opinion.
 

Thacko said:
Evening all.

Long-time GOT member (don’t post anywhere near as much as I could but I’m a very active lurker as it were. Not much to write home about Everton-wise these days mind...) and a reader of this fantastic thread, without adding to it until now.

Just wanted to throw my hat in to the thread. I’ve come to realise (through my third stint of therapy, same guy each time) that I’ve had depression for quite a while (since I was a child) and have always put it down to me being lazy/apathetic or shoehorning explanations in that seem socially acceptable for extreme behaviour. I’ve always been prone to moments or days or weeks even of nothingness. Just a really flat, inactive nothingness. Sometimes I just feel jaded or grumpy, sometimes I’ve been unable to get up the stairs. One time I spent the best part of a year lying to everyone I knew, telling them all about the lectures and tutorials I was taking at university when all the time I was in a pub having a few and reading the paper. I spent months and months doing literally nothing but I told nobody about it. It took them a while but they caught up with me and threw me out. But I lied to EVERYONE the whole time - my parents, my flat mates, my girlfriend, everyone. That pretty intense adolescent moment aside, it’s something that’s gotten worse in the last couple of years. It’s been exacerbated by my father’s relatively short illness and death, a year ago today. He was 67 which I think is too young these days. I’m 35 and, while I know many people lose parents at much, much younger ages (my wife included), I just feel too young for something like that. Funnily enough I’m posting here on this day...!

Recently my wife has been working away (in Italy) and I’ve not been so great on my own. She’s back in about 10 days which is great but it’s been difficult coping with stuff without her. She’s doing an awesome job so I’ve totally avoided giving out to her about anything because I don’t want to worry her or take away from her experience. But I’ve realised I’ve got nobody else I can share this stuff with, I’m a pretty solitary person even though I’ve got friends I think are amazing, I just don’t feel able to pick up the phone or text anyone or whatever.

One question I’d like to ask is about anti-depressants/medication for symptoms of depression. Does it help? It’s something I’m wary of getting into but I wonder if my fears might be a bit over-cautious? I have a weekly session with a therapist but I still have moments or hours or days at a time where I feel rubbish and I’m wondering if there might be something out there that I’m not using that I should be that would totally enhance the therapy and get me on a more even keel.

Thanks to everyone for this brilliant thread, it’s fantastic and very important. Cheers.
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Hi mate. Well done for posting. I've been on an anti-depressant called Citalopram for a while. It's not addictive. It builds up in your system over time so can take at least 2 weeks to start working. I'm not an expert but I think the way it works is to help your brain produce more serotonin (the chemical in your brain that makes you feel normal and happy). I believe it works very well. I've come off it twice in the past and found that my moods dipped terribly both times. If you book in with your GP they will help you decide if medication is the right step for you.
 
hallamblue said:
Mum has died. She passed away at 5pm. She chose to go which I'm glad about, as the situation was hopeless and the hospital were only prolonging the inevitable. Dad managed to get there in time, and was holding her hand when she went. I'm travelling over now to be with him. It's a surreal feeling, knowing that I'll never speak to her again.
Click to expand...

Condolences mate.

It's tough to deal with when it's someone you love to bits, but sometimes the time is right for them to move on, and they just don't want to struggle any more. You've got your memories and your family to share them with, so there'll be both sadness and laughter in the future as you remember her.
 
hallamblue said:
Mum has died. She passed away at 5pm. She chose to go which I'm glad about, as the situation was hopeless and the hospital were only prolonging the inevitable. Dad managed to get there in time, and was holding her hand when she went. I'm travelling over now to be with him. It's a surreal feeling, knowing that I'll never speak to her again.
Click to expand...
condolences mate .
 
hallamblue said:
Mum has died. She passed away at 5pm. She chose to go which I'm glad about, as the situation was hopeless and the hospital were only prolonging the inevitable. Dad managed to get there in time, and was holding her hand when she went. I'm travelling over now to be with him. It's a surreal feeling, knowing that I'll never speak to her again.
Click to expand...

Condolences to yourself and your family
 
hallamblue said:
Mum has died. She passed away at 5pm. She chose to go which I'm glad about, as the situation was hopeless and the hospital were only prolonging the inevitable. Dad managed to get there in time, and was holding her hand when she went. I'm travelling over now to be with him. It's a surreal feeling, knowing that I'll never speak to her again.
Click to expand...
mine died just over a week ago, wish I could say something to help you mate, but I haven't a clue what to do except try and carry on as normal as possible , and help those around you as best you can.
used to see mine every day and its a big hole to fill, but I know she would want me to stay strong for the family, and you can take comfort in the fact that she like mine died surrounded by people she loved and as peaceful as possible.
take care mate.
 

edge said:
mine died just over a week ago, wish I could say something to help you mate, but I haven't a clue what to do except try and carry on as normal as possible , and help those around you as best you can.
used to see mine every day and its a big hole to fill, but I know she would want me to stay strong for the family, and you can take comfort in the fact that she like mine died surrounded by people she loved and as peaceful as possible.
take care mate.
Click to expand...
condolences edge
 
hallamblue said:
Mum has died. She passed away at 5pm. She chose to go which I'm glad about, as the situation was hopeless and the hospital were only prolonging the inevitable. Dad managed to get there in time, and was holding her hand when she went. I'm travelling over now to be with him. It's a surreal feeling, knowing that I'll never speak to her again.
Click to expand...

Condolences mate, really sorry to hear that.
 
edge said:
mine died just over a week ago, wish I could say something to help you mate, but I haven't a clue what to do except try and carry on as normal as possible , and help those around you as best you can.
used to see mine every day and its a big hole to fill, but I know she would want me to stay strong for the family, and you can take comfort in the fact that she like mine died surrounded by people she loved and as peaceful as possible.
take care mate.
Click to expand...
So sorry to hear that x
 
edge said:
mine died just over a week ago, wish I could say something to help you mate, but I haven't a clue what to do except try and carry on as normal as possible , and help those around you as best you can.
used to see mine every day and its a big hole to fill, but I know she would want me to stay strong for the family, and you can take comfort in the fact that she like mine died surrounded by people she loved and as peaceful as possible.
take care mate.
Click to expand...

Really sorry mate. My Dad died a year ago yesterday and that’s really all you can do, now and for as long as possible. You just carry on. Take care.
 
edge said:
mine died just over a week ago, wish I could say something to help you mate, but I haven't a clue what to do except try and carry on as normal as possible , and help those around you as best you can.
used to see mine every day and its a big hole to fill, but I know she would want me to stay strong for the family, and you can take comfort in the fact that she like mine died surrounded by people she loved and as peaceful as possible.
take care mate.
Click to expand...
Thanks for sharing mate, and sorry for your loss.
 

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