Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[The Esk]

Haven't been on this thread for a while, it's comforting knowing it's here when you feel the need to let things out. My partner has been ill for quite some time and been pretty much bed bound for the last year, she's 37 and being in this position from a youngish age has been really tough for her to take. Problem being at the moment she's not coping at all with things. I have had her doctor involved as well as social workers and adult health services. I'm getting concerned as she seems to be giving up and it's becoming increasingly hard at home as I'm the main carer for her and our 3 year old daughter aswell as trying to work. She has spells in rest bite care which helps me out a bit. I'm staring to struggle now and it's making daily life very hard indeed. She has been literally led in bed crying and wailing for long spells now and the worry now is what to do for the best as I'm scared of things effecting our little girl. At the end of my tether nearly with trying to cope now.

Mate, not sure I can add to @trebilcock66 's excellent advice, other than to say that if your partner can receive as much professional help as possible plus your care, you should devote as much attention to your little one as you can. It will be tough for sure, but the care of your little one will reap huge benefits in the future, not only for her but for the two of you also.

If the idea that fellow blues are thinking of you, and are prepared to offer supporting words (and advice from time to time) then we're helping too. You're not alone in this - good luck and use all the help and resources available to you including GOT.

Keep strong mate!

 

[kithnou]

Following on from @the esk's comments, hang in there and keep talking to professionals. You are a saint mate with what you are going through. Don't neglect yourself in getting some support and having a chat to people that can help

 

[RalphDring]

Thank you for the kind replies. Some really fantastic advice and it's given more a bit more of a positive spin on the situation. It gets a bit over whelming some days. Posting on here and reading the thoughts of others is a massive help. Thanks again.

 

[kithnou]

Thank you for the kind replies. Some really fantastic advice and it's given more a bit more of a positive spin on the situation. It gets a bit over whelming some days. Posting on here and reading the thoughts of others is a massive help. Thanks again.

Can't stress how great it is to come in here when I am having a down day. We will always be here

 

[The Esk]

Thank you for the kind replies. Some really fantastic advice and it's given more a bit more of a positive spin on the situation. It gets a bit over whelming some days. Posting on here and reading the thoughts of others is a massive help. Thanks again.

Mate any time you want to chat privately please just pm me or any of the other contributors to this thread. You are not alone!

 

[The Esk]

What a thread this is.

Makes you proud to be a Blue and a GOT memnerer.

Well done every single contributor, long may it continue.

 

[mezzrow]

Thank you for the kind replies. Some really fantastic advice and it's given more a bit more of a positive spin on the situation. It gets a bit over whelming some days. Posting on here and reading the thoughts of others is a massive help. Thanks again.

Hang in there, mate. Lots of folks here in all sorts of places all around this globe. This is a 24/7 helpline - you have an ear available when you get overwhelmed.

 

[kithnou]

Hang in there, mate. Lots of folks here in all sorts of places all around this globe. This is a 24/7 helpline - you have an ear available when you get overwhelmed.

Perfectly said!

 

[BiggyRat]

Thank you for the kind replies. Some really fantastic advice and it's given more a bit more of a positive spin on the situation. It gets a bit over whelming some days. Posting on here and reading the thoughts of others is a massive help. Thanks again.

For every one of you Ralph, there could be a dozen more in the same situation. What I mean by this is that we hope you can keep us posted because we are genuinely concerned for you, but also for those others that cannot voice their issues just yet. Reading about others in situations similar to their own could be the impetus for them to start down the path of recovery.

Good luck to you Brother.

 

[moyeslovechild]

Just to echo the above, best wishes truly are with you mate. It's amazing how we find the strength to deal with things that would have seemed unfathomable just a few months ago. That extra little help from just talking about it does wonders an' all.

 

[RAFUH]

Thank you for the kind replies. Some really fantastic advice and it's given more a bit more of a positive spin on the situation. It gets a bit over whelming some days. Posting on here and reading the thoughts of others is a massive help. Thanks again.

My grandmother cared for my bed-ridden grandfather for years. She found it very hard to let others help...like she was slacking in her duties or didn't love him enough. She put herself in hospital trying to do it all.

This may not apply to your situation, but what I learned is that it is okay to need and want time completely away from that caregiver role. It's human nature to need that time. To be a good caregiver to her and your baby girl you need to be as physically and mentally well as you can be.

As others have said, get all the professional help and services you can....even friends/family that can help out. Take time for yourself and time with your daughter and enjoy it without guilt. You will be an even better caregiver and partner for it.

Best wishes to you and your family.

 

[BiggyRat]

Went to work this morning & my security pass wouldn't open the barriers. Ask at Reception & they make a call, next minute, one of the Directors comes down & hands me a letter...suspended with full pay! Terrific!

Time to get some golf in & start looking at the job ads!

 

[COYBL25]

Hello to everyone. I,m a first time poster and hopefully I,ll be able to offer some help / advice in relation to the many many threads on this issue. I Have suffered from depression and anxiety problems for the best part of ten years now, This was due to a horrendous and sustained situation in work and looking back nearly led to a nervous breakdown. With me depression came first and then serious anxiety problems - which I am still not fully free . Hopefully by sharing my experiences and things I have found out. I can help in some small way. When I " came out " to my mates that I wasn't well, three of them admitted in private that they had been treated for depression in the past. This sounds terrible, but it made much feel better, as it made me realise that I wasn't alone. From then on I didn't hide it as I realised that your head can be broken just the same as your arm or leg. So the first thing I,d say is accept your ill and don't hide it, be honest with your proper mates and family, you,ll be surprised how supportive people can be once they know. If you bottle it up, it ll just get worse and people won't understand why you are the way you are. Online support is great too, as well as this site, I can recommend - THE MENTAL HEALTH FORUM. This is an NHS site, which caters for every type of mental illness and the online community on it are fantastic. There are fantastic charities out there, run and staffed by people who are mainly volunteers who have been sufferers themselves. One I can highly recommend is - IMAGINE, based in Hope Street, a few doors down from the Casa. They provide volunteers who will act as " Befrienders " - someone who you can talk to outside of your family and friends. From my experience I have found my anxiety problems to be much harder to treat than depression, this seems to be due to the fact that there doesn't seem to be any drugs out there that aren't addictive to treat anxiety. ( I became addicted to sedatives due to a lazy / uncaring GP ). Without getting all medical , from what. I have learnt there are 2 chemicals that are produced in the brain which are major contributors to depression and anxiety problems - SERATONIN and CORTISOL. Have a look online at what these 2 chemicals do inside your head and why / what happens to you when they get messed up. It,ll help you understand the reasons why you are unwell. I could write loads more but hopefully some of this will help someone.

 

[Ashtonian]

I suppose this could fit in here. Don'y shoot be down if it is not the best place

For the best part of 18 months i have been stuck in my place in work. It is bottom level admin for the job i do and it is getting beyond the point now where i can't deal with it on a daily basis which i am noticing each morning.

Basically, i am good. not a big headed remark by any stretch. Where i work it is dead end for most people and i am one of the good in amongst the rough. there are things i have come accross including bullying from a collegue, being shunted around job to job and now stuck in a team that royally take the P. I am starting to get miserable coming into work because i don't want to be here anymore but it is almost impossible to get out without knowing someone high up. I have been to interviews that lasted less than 5 minutes, been blocked from leaving on secondments, had interviewers write their own questions (and fail 150 people in the process essentially) and even been told i have over answered the questions?! So the straight forward get a new job is not really in the question because i have been to many interviews and had very little success in even getting a straight forward one.

working within my team, i was away for 4 weeks working elsewhere and upon coming back never said a word to me, not even a 'how was it' that everyone including a lad in a different place asked me. They also had done no work whilst i was gone, telling everyone it was because they were a man down, only for me to come back and do all the work (around 250-300 requests) in 4 days. Theres loads of little issues which prompted me to get fed up at the end of the week abck and put in a formal complaint with my team leader over the issue. ITs been 4 weeks and nothing has been done, and i know full well its because they dont want to deal with it considering the team members in question have been there for years and are thought of as fantastic. in that time they have been quick to pull me up about being 5 minutes late one day though, their priorities and all that.

I suppose my rambling is about just being trapped within my career. As mentioned i am good at what i do and good at anything i have been asked to do as well. MY achievements in just 3 years is amazing for a band 2 worker and yet i cant get anywhere when trying to progress. I have all this ambition inside me yet i am going nowhere and i cant do anything about it it seems! I felt like this before i came here and managed to break out but now it is not a supervisor keeping me in place but an entire admin department and that is really starting to drain any enthusiasm i have within my work life.

I am meeting with the head of the admin/HR this week to have a chat with her so i dont know how i will benefit from it but have been considering working back in the warehouse for ther forseeable future on nights. Dead end job for more money basically, and even then this time next year it may not be a job there anymore.


What can you do?

 

[Moomin]

I suppose this could fit in here. Don'y shoot be down if it is not the best place

For the best part of 18 months i have been stuck in my place in work. It is bottom level admin for the job i do and it is getting beyond the point now where i can't deal with it on a daily basis which i am noticing each morning.

Basically, i am good. not a big headed remark by any stretch. Where i work it is dead end for most people and i am one of the good in amongst the rough. there are things i have come accross including bullying from a collegue, being shunted around job to job and now stuck in a team that royally take the P. I am starting to get miserable coming into work because i don't want to be here anymore but it is almost impossible to get out without knowing someone high up. I have been to interviews that lasted less than 5 minutes, been blocked from leaving on secondments, had interviewers write their own questions (and fail 150 people in the process essentially) and even been told i have over answered the questions?! So the straight forward get a new job is not really in the question because i have been to many interviews and had very little success in even getting a straight forward one.

working within my team, i was away for 4 weeks working elsewhere and upon coming back never said a word to me, not even a 'how was it' that everyone including a lad in a different place asked me. They also had done no work whilst i was gone, telling everyone it was because they were a man down, only for me to come back and do all the work (around 250-300 requests) in 4 days. Theres loads of little issues which prompted me to get fed up at the end of the week abck and put in a formal complaint with my team leader over the issue. ITs been 4 weeks and nothing has been done, and i know full well its because they dont want to deal with it considering the team members in question have been there for years and are thought of as fantastic. in that time they have been quick to pull me up about being 5 minutes late one day though, their priorities and all that.

I suppose my rambling is about just being trapped within my career. As mentioned i am good at what i do and good at anything i have been asked to do as well. MY achievements in just 3 years is amazing for a band 2 worker and yet i cant get anywhere when trying to progress. I have all this ambition inside me yet i am going nowhere and i cant do anything about it it seems! I felt like this before i came here and managed to break out but now it is not a supervisor keeping me in place but an entire admin department and that is really starting to drain any enthusiasm i have within my work life.

I am meeting with the head of the admin/HR this week to have a chat with her so i dont know how i will benefit from it but have been considering working back in the warehouse for ther forseeable future on nights. Dead end job for more money basically, and even then this time next year it may not be a job there anymore.


What can you do?

You have done the best thing raising it with HR. You should never be unhappy in work, its not good for you or the company you work for. If you don't feel rewarded from your current company, have a look at their competitors and see if they have any jobs going.