Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

FTY said:
Done all that mate. It's all I've been thinking about for the last 6 months and all of that was put to the magistrates. Still found me guilty. Really don't wanna go through it/put anyone else through it again. The fine was massive, £850 but they lowered it to like 200 because I'm not earning.



It was how I said mate, but I think I'm gonna have to do that anyway. I would suspect it would look worse to potential employers if I'm sitting there going ''I was wrongly convicted'' than if I say that I was just a kid and a nobhead, despite that not being the case.
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If asked. Tell them it was wrongful conviction.

Admitting guilt to a racial assault is like saying you're a racist. You never admitted guilt either.

The key thing don't let anything similar happen again. It would prove the earlier wrongful conviction.
 
FTY said:
Worse mate. Racially aggravated assault. Not going into it too much but he confronted me, we argued, we had a fight. He played the race card as I probably got the better of him and he wanted to get back at me.

Yes I know, will never let myself be in that situation again. I've defo learn from it, regardless of whether I did what he said I did, I still did something wrong by having a fight with him in the first place.

No mate. Absolutely not. But my family have already had to pay a large fine so I don't want to make it worse for them by appealing. Just wanna move on but it's hard to.
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@FTY obviously no-one here can comment on your conviction as we are not privy to all the facts, but there's a couple of things worth mentioning:

Firstly, nothing in life is as bad (or as good) as it first appears. I can appreciate all that you are saying about how you feel, but believe me, your family and loved ones, plus friends who know you really well, will stand by you.

Secondly you're (from what I have read here) very young, and whilst it is difficult now to accept, you have the vast majority of your life ahead of you. What you do now and in the future will speak far more about your qualities than what you have been accused of in the past.

Draw a line under it, and prove to everyone the type of person you really are. Talk to your college again, and if university is your aim, then work towards it. Prove to people you are the person you believe yourself to be, not the person convicted of this crime (in the eyes of the law).

In addition you have a group of people here who will support you, as well as your parents and friends. How you deal with life's knock is what determines your future, not the knocks themselves.

As with many others, we are here and willing to help you.
 
bizzaro said:
If asked. Tell them it was wrongful conviction.

Admitting guilt to a racial assault is like saying you're a racist. You never admitted guilt either.

The key thing don't let anything similar happen again. It would prove the earlier wrongful conviction.
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Okay will do.

Oh no danger of that whatsoever, I mean it doesn't prove my innocence but my stepmum and my little brother, her son are mixed race.
 
FTY said:
This goes in here I think.

Feel proper on the floor tbh lads. Mentioned and deleted in another thread about how I got convicted today of a horrible crime (which I absolutely, 100% didn't commit) from a fight I had 7 months ago.

Now I just feel like I can't carry on. My future's looking non existent with this on my record despite me only being 17. Gonna be hard to get a job and stuff, college are looking at not letting me carry on there even though I've been doing well, there's no point going to Uni anymore. I feel proper embarassed that I'm gonna have this charge on me and people are gonna hear about it regardless of whether it's true or not, I still got found guilty of it so people are gonna believe it. I feel like I've let everyone in my family down and bad that they've all supported me so much, they all believe me and so they've basically all gone through it with me. I feel just so low and just like there's no point at all. It's just [Poor language removed].
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You're 17. So lots of time to put things right. No matter how bad it feels right now, you will be happy again and look forward to the next day. This phase of your life will end and something else will take it's place. Even the feelings of guilt will ease over time.
 

FTY said:
This goes in here I think.

Feel proper on the floor tbh lads. Mentioned and deleted in another thread about how I got convicted today of a horrible crime (which I absolutely, 100% didn't commit) from a fight I had 7 months ago.

Now I just feel like I can't carry on. My future's looking non existent with this on my record despite me only being 17. Gonna be hard to get a job and stuff, college are looking at not letting me carry on there even though I've been doing well, there's no point going to Uni anymore. I feel proper embarassed that I'm gonna have this charge on me and people are gonna hear about it regardless of whether it's true or not, I still got found guilty of it so people are gonna believe it. I feel like I've let everyone in my family down and bad that they've all supported me so much, they all believe me and so they've basically all gone through it with me. I feel just so low and just like there's no point at all. It's just [Poor language removed].
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There's two ways to go when you've done wrong or when wrong's been done to you. You can let it eat you up or you can learn from it and use it to spur you on. Single actions and external events do not get to define who you are. You get to define who you are. Making a mistake can make things more difficult, but time has a way of diminishing how big a mistake feels. Life gets messy for everyone but if you hang in there and pick yourself up you will be able to clean up the mess.
 
BBleck said:
There's two ways to go when you've done wrong or when wrong's been done to you. You can let it eat you up or you can learn from it and use it to spur you on. Single actions and external events do not get to define who you are. You get to define who you are. Making a mistake can make things more difficult, but time has a way of diminishing how big a mistake feels. Life gets messy for everyone but if you hang in there and pick yourself up you will be able to clean up the mess.
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This is good advice @FTY

You have a choice, allow life to take control of you, or take control of your own destiny despite what's just happened.

The people who succeed in life are the ones who take control of their own circumstances regardless of the position they fund themselves.
 
the esk said:
How are you doing mate? Hope things are looking up for you?
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Things have been a little up and down but better this week, just doing things day by day at the moment, managed to do a bit of work, I think that helps to take my mind off of things. Going to put the decorations up tomorrow so that should cheer everybody up. Going to have to get a tree for the bedroom this year.
Thanks for your help and support, (and everybody on here) it's good to be able to talk to people when things get difficult.
 
bluebud said:
@FTY have a look at this, from what I can see the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act 1974 states that as an under 18 without a custodial sentence you don't have to disclose your conviction to employers, I think? check it out, some great advice in this thread btw.

https://nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk/advice/planning/Pages/convictions.aspx
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@FTY good point this. Get some legal advice FTY. Don't allow this to ruin what could otherwise be a good career.

Also I told you. Its not a crime/conviction of dishonesty. Therefore vetting for jobs would not think all that much of it as you think.
 

FTY said:
This goes in here I think.

Feel proper on the floor tbh lads. Mentioned and deleted in another thread about how I got convicted today of a horrible crime (which I absolutely, 100% didn't commit) from a fight I had 7 months ago.

Now I just feel like I can't carry on. My future's looking non existent with this on my record despite me only being 17. Gonna be hard to get a job and stuff, college are looking at not letting me carry on there even though I've been doing well, there's no point going to Uni anymore. I feel proper embarassed that I'm gonna have this charge on me and people are gonna hear about it regardless of whether it's true or not, I still got found guilty of it so people are gonna believe it. I feel like I've let everyone in my family down and bad that they've all supported me so much, they all believe me and so they've basically all gone through it with me. I feel just so low and just like there's no point at all. It's just [Poor language removed].
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I may not be the best person to offer advice, not coming up in this situation before but a few thoughts that cross my mind when reading about your posts.

As other people have mentioned your age is something that counts in your favour especially work wise. As much as it may feel like it will hold you back which is completely understandable, in 10 years time all it will show is that you made a foolish mistake and have learned from it, the truth behind it or not. the issue with cases such as this will be not that it happened but whether it was a continued issue within your life, and i get the impression you really arent going to put yourself in that position again so i would worry about that a little bit less.

From what you have said about the 'crime', its a result of the touchy racism term that this country holds. From what i gather you had a fight with someone, over what doesnt matter. They have used their skin colour afterwards to get back at you and as a result you are here. this isn't as bad as it feels right now mate, time will show that to you. If you had targeted this lad and really injured him you would be behind bars in a youth prison or whatever the rules are and the crime would reflect worse upon yourself. No jail would suggest to me exactly what you say and therefore the lack of prison time again will be used as a strength of character rather than motive of intent in the eyes of future employees. Especially at your gae (sorry for saying that again!).

As for your family and friends, i can fully understand what you mean about letting them down. It will feel hard now, especially to the loved ones closest to you, there is no way of avoiding that if you have a little bit of pride and respect for yourself. But the strength and trust of your inner circle is what you use to come back from this, they are the ebst people for you right now. I know they will be behind you on this and that is what matters most in this sort of situation. Use their support and just take the time to deal with this in your own head first and foremost. From th eimpression i got this is just an unfortunate situation that you found yourself in, nothing more than that. Once you start to deal with this yourself mentally it will all start to look better in time, but it is something that won't be easy to do.

And i suppose you know the situation you were in and the catalysts for being in that situation whatever all of those were. Perhaps the other thing which may help over time is not putting yuorself in that sort of position again, i use this as an example, not a opinion mate. If it was on a night out then just don't go there or to town for a good while. If it was something else, avoid doing that to avoid the situation, no matter how rare and random this was.

I don't mean anything to sound patronizing or anything like that mate, i really don't. I'm merely just typing my thoughts and hoping something helps in any way possible. hopefully something i said makes sense to you and just remember, it will look a lot better in the future, before the light comes the dark.
 
Ashtonian said:
I may not be the best person to offer advice, not coming up in this situation before but a few thoughts that cross my mind when reading about your posts.

As other people have mentioned your age is something that counts in your favour especially work wise. As much as it may feel like it will hold you back which is completely understandable, in 10 years time all it will show is that you made a foolish mistake and have learned from it, the truth behind it or not. the issue with cases such as this will be not that it happened but whether it was a continued issue within your life, and i get the impression you really arent going to put yourself in that position again so i would worry about that a little bit less.

From what you have said about the 'crime', its a result of the touchy racism term that this country holds. From what i gather you had a fight with someone, over what doesnt matter. They have used their skin colour afterwards to get back at you and as a result you are here. this isn't as bad as it feels right now mate, time will show that to you. If you had targeted this lad and really injured him you would be behind bars in a youth prison or whatever the rules are and the crime would reflect worse upon yourself. No jail would suggest to me exactly what you say and therefore the lack of prison time again will be used as a strength of character rather than motive of intent in the eyes of future employees. Especially at your gae (sorry for saying that again!).

As for your family and friends, i can fully understand what you mean about letting them down. It will feel hard now, especially to the loved ones closest to you, there is no way of avoiding that if you have a little bit of pride and respect for yourself. But the strength and trust of your inner circle is what you use to come back from this, they are the ebst people for you right now. I know they will be behind you on this and that is what matters most in this sort of situation. Use their support and just take the time to deal with this in your own head first and foremost. From th eimpression i got this is just an unfortunate situation that you found yourself in, nothing more than that. Once you start to deal with this yourself mentally it will all start to look better in time, but it is something that won't be easy to do.

And i suppose you know the situation you were in and the catalysts for being in that situation whatever all of those were. Perhaps the other thing which may help over time is not putting yuorself in that sort of position again, i use this as an example, not a opinion mate. If it was on a night out then just don't go there or to town for a good while. If it was something else, avoid doing that to avoid the situation, no matter how rare and random this was.

I don't mean anything to sound patronizing or anything like that mate, i really don't. I'm merely just typing my thoughts and hoping something helps in any way possible. hopefully something i said makes sense to you and just remember, it will look a lot better in the future, before the light comes the dark.
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Most of that is spot on, nice one. Appreciate the advice.
 
Lads/Girls, last week on Sunday morning a good friend of mine, John Burns, went missing. I've known John nearly eleven years through work and played footy with him regularly. He's had the usual troubles but I had no idea he was suffering so badly. His body was found last night and it breaks my heart to think what must've been going through his mind as he decided to end it all.

If he'd have spoken to me or anyone else, he may have got things off his chest which could have meant him not doing what he did. I know if I ever found myself in a such a position I could always come on here and people would help or at least try. So thank you to those of you contributing in here from the bottom of my heart.
 
My heart goes out to your mate and his family. If you are close to his family please support them as best you can, even if it's just a txt or a phone call. The grief, guilt and blame from something like this " ripples " out and touches everyone.
 

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