Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[SteRobbo84]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss Ste...how are you holding up mate?

I'm doing ok thanks mate. Trying to be as 'normal' as I can be.

My heart goes out to your mate and his family. If you are close to his family please support them as best you can, even if it's just a txt or a phone call. The grief, guilt and blame from something like this " ripples " out and touches everyone.

Yeah his missus has worked with us both in the same office for over 10 years so I know her really well and their daughter. She's got a close knit family and a few really good mates so she'll have plenty of support but I've let her know that if she needs anything, no matter how big or small, to just text me.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

Lads/Girls, last week on Sunday morning a good friend of mine, John Burns, went missing. I've known John nearly eleven years through work and played footy with him regularly. He's had the usual troubles but I had no idea he was suffering so badly. His body was found last night and it breaks my heart to think what must've been going through his mind as he decided to end it all.

If he'd have spoken to me or anyone else, he may have got things off his chest which could have meant him not doing what he did. I know if I ever found myself in a such a position I could always come on here and people would help or at least try. So thank you to those of you contributing in here from the bottom of my heart.

This is such a heartbreaking post. Sorry to hear this mate.

 

[Ashtonian]

One thing i would like to ask the community in regards to my earlier posts is what to do in regards to an email.

Amonth ago today i sent an email to both my team leader and supervisor talking about all the issues i was having within my (very small) team. Mentioning things such as leaving work for me to specifically to do, doing very little as possible and the constant childish 'not talking to you' atittude that after 4 weeks working in the warehouse it was a little bit too much and only self control stopped me from snapping. But back to the point, they havent discussed the issue yet and now one is off due to a recent loss so they will not be back for at least a week, then after that its christmas so we wont all be in. So logically nothing will be done during that time.

When i return to work after xmas it will be 7 calander days away from 2 months since i raised all my issues with them and had no action taken. Even if i chased it up again now i know nothing will be done about it so i will be waiting until next month before they would be even discussing it. There lies the problem, i offered them proof a month ago of what i said, next month that 'proof is redundant. I'm not going to monitor every little case of my collegues because nobody wants to do that and it won't help me in any way.

So yeah, how do i go about it? The email specifically ended with me saying i dont know how much lojnger i can work like this and its made me not enjoy coming in, yet nothing has been done except (as mentioned already) pull me up for being 5 minutes late for work. There is hating my job but how do i go about pushing this further because quite clearly my immediate superiors are proven to be not supporting me in what is essentially terrible conditions for one of their staff to be placed in.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

One thing i would like to ask the community in regards to my earlier posts is what to do in regards to an email.

Amonth ago today i sent an email to both my team leader and supervisor talking about all the issues i was having within my (very small) team. Mentioning things such as leaving work for me to specifically to do, doing very little as possible and the constant childish 'not talking to you' atittude that after 4 weeks working in the warehouse it was a little bit too much and only self control stopped me from snapping. But back to the point, they havent discussed the issue yet and now one is off due to a recent loss so they will not be back for at least a week, then after that its christmas so we wont all be in. So logically nothing will be done during that time.

When i return to work after xmas it will be 7 calander days away from 2 months since i raised all my issues with them and had no action taken. Even if i chased it up again now i know nothing will be done about it so i will be waiting until next month before they would be even discussing it. There lies the problem, i offered them proof a month ago of what i said, next month that 'proof is redundant. I'm not going to monitor every little case of my collegues because nobody wants to do that and it won't help me in any way.

So yeah, how do i go about it? The email specifically ended with me saying i dont know how much lojnger i can work like this and its made me not enjoy coming in, yet nothing has been done except (as mentioned already) pull me up for being 5 minutes late for work. There is hating my job but how do i go about pushing this further because quite clearly my immediate superiors are proven to be not supporting me in what is essentially terrible conditions for one of their staff to be placed in.

Go over their heads to HR, and raise it directly with them mate. ASAP.

 

[Ashtonian]

Go over their heads to HR, and raise it directly with them mate. ASAP.

Well i am meeting with the absolute head of hr at 5pm today lol not sure if they come anywhere near our department in the chain of command but i'll drop it in certainly.

See going the HR is my first thought but i mentioned it last week to the assistant manager (top relating to the staff in the office) and they told me they would escalate it with the team leader and supervisior. Obviously they still didnt do anything and by going there now will just end up back to htem again who are dragging their heels.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

Well i am meeting with the absolute head of hr at 5pm today lol not sure if they come anywhere near our department in the chain of command but i'll drop it in certainly.

See going the HR is my first thought but i mentioned it last week to the assistant manager (top relating to the staff in the office) and they told me they would escalate it with the team leader and supervisior. Obviously they still didnt do anything and by going there now will just end up back to htem again who are dragging their heels.

Good lad, take your laptop and show them the notes you have ( or any evidence ) also, you're entitled to take someone with you so you're not 'shouted down' or at least helped in the respect of support.

Take a notepad to make some notes and it will ensure you're taken seriously.

Good luck mate, let us know how you get on.

 

[The Esk]

Lads/Girls, last week on Sunday morning a good friend of mine, John Burns, went missing. I've known John nearly eleven years through work and played footy with him regularly. He's had the usual troubles but I had no idea he was suffering so badly. His body was found last night and it breaks my heart to think what must've been going through his mind as he decided to end it all.

If he'd have spoken to me or anyone else, he may have got things off his chest which could have meant him not doing what he did. I know if I ever found myself in a such a position I could always come on here and people would help or at least try. So thank you to those of you contributing in here from the bottom of my heart.

This is a tragic post in terms of the news it brings, I can only offer you like others my sympathies and offer of support at a difficult time.

In the midst of the tragedy though you raise a very important point about communicating problems and having a place or person to communicate with.

For anyone in circumstances where they need to talk, in the absence of friends or family, then this is as good a place as any. No one here is a professional in this area, just a bunch of football supporters who care enough about their community to offer help or at least an ear to those that need it.

 

[bizzaro]

One thing i would like to ask the community in regards to my earlier posts is what to do in regards to an email.

Amonth ago today i sent an email to both my team leader and supervisor talking about all the issues i was having within my (very small) team. Mentioning things such as leaving work for me to specifically to do, doing very little as possible and the constant childish 'not talking to you' atittude that after 4 weeks working in the warehouse it was a little bit too much and only self control stopped me from snapping. But back to the point, they havent discussed the issue yet and now one is off due to a recent loss so they will not be back for at least a week, then after that its christmas so we wont all be in. So logically nothing will be done during that time.

When i return to work after xmas it will be 7 calander days away from 2 months since i raised all my issues with them and had no action taken. Even if i chased it up again now i know nothing will be done about it so i will be waiting until next month before they would be even discussing it. There lies the problem, i offered them proof a month ago of what i said, next month that 'proof is redundant. I'm not going to monitor every little case of my collegues because nobody wants to do that and it won't help me in any way.

So yeah, how do i go about it? The email specifically ended with me saying i dont know how much lojnger i can work like this and its made me not enjoy coming in, yet nothing has been done except (as mentioned already) pull me up for being 5 minutes late for work. There is hating my job but how do i go about pushing this further because quite clearly my immediate superiors are proven to be not supporting me in what is essentially terrible conditions for one of their staff to be placed in.

Constructive dismissal mate

As I said earlier get moving.

Above all. Keep your dignity. you'll win out then


You need to be looking for a job elsewhere.

You won't change that place. Its a waste of your time. So don't try. Just get sorted elsewhere

 

[ilikecheese]

This is a tragic post in terms of the news it brings, I can only offer you like others my sympathies and offer of support at a difficult time.

In the midst of the tragedy though you raise a very important point about communicating problems and having a place or person to communicate with.

For anyone in circumstances where they need to talk, in the absence of friends or family, then this is as good a place as any. No one here is a professional in this area, just a bunch of football supporters who care enough about their community to offer help or at least an ear to those that need it.

Indeed mate...if anyone is afraid of 'going public', feel free to PM me. I'm not trained in any way, shape, or form, but I am a good 'listener'. I would be happy to just 'be there'.

Please, PM me if you need someone to talk with and don't feel like advertising to the forum. I imagine it would be quite difficult, even with this thread being so judgement free. This thread is great...

 

[roydo]

It is. Credit to everyone it is

This thread is great..

 

[Efcjake]

Lads, I'm not in a particularly good state of mind at the moment and I was just wondering if any of you who have gone to a therapist of some sort have found it to be worthwhile?

 

[AlE]

Lads, I'm not in a particularly good state of mind at the moment and I was just wondering if any of you who have gone to a therapist of some sort have found it to be worthwhile?

It doesn't help everyone but speaking to a professional can never do any harm, mate.

 

[bizzaro]

Lads, I'm not in a particularly good state of mind at the moment and I was just wondering if any of you who have gone to a therapist of some sort have found it to be worthwhile?

Seriously mate keep your chin up. Its not a cliché. No matter your despair. Will yourself to realise its not you. Its a cycle of negative thoughts causing a feedback loop and more negative thoughts. See through it for what it is.

Yes have seen a therapist.

Yes have taken antidepressants.


Yes. It helps. Theres no such thing as "cure". What there is is helping management of your mind/thoughts. Gaining greater control of how you feel.


I still have bursts of anger. But I know now some of this is that. To fight it back.

In my case and ptsd. Key is "regaining sense of purpose".

So you find out what you love. What you like to focus on and enjoy that.

 

[Efcjake]

It doesn't help everyone but speaking to a professional can never do any harm, mate.

I'm not very good about talking about what's bothering me, I have people I could talk to... but I prefer to keep this stuff to myself. I know it's not right like, but I can't help but feel like I'm burdening people with my issues. I feel like it may be easier to open up and talk honestly with someone I'm not personally involved with, but since I'm apprehensive about sharing in the first place I just wanted to gauge people's opinions on the exercise of it.

 

[Efcjake]

Seriously mate keep your chin up. Its not a cliché. No matter your despair. Will yourself to realise its not you. Its a cycle of negative thoughts causing a feedback loop and more negative thoughts. See through it for what it is.

Yes have seen a therapist.

Yes have taken antidepressants.


Yes. It helps. Theres no such thing as "cure". What there is is helping management of your mind/thoughts. Gaining greater control of how you feel.


I still have bursts of anger. But I know now some of this is that. To fight it back.

In my case and ptsd. Key is "regaining sense of purpose".

So you find out what you love. What you like to focus on and enjoy that.

I have been on the antidepressants and while they helped numb some of the thoughts I have I don't feel like they are a solution at all. I'm about to start back up and its making me anxious. I was just wondering if you found seeing a therapist helpful?