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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Bryan said:
It's common sense (to me) at least! That stuff like Facebook/Instagram, the sort of 'highlight' reel of someones life often shows the great, happy stuff. The millennials post their new cars, the baby boomers post their new homes, and the miseries like me, simply delete it cos its not for me. I don't like sharing my life with people -- particularly in a way like Facebook has curated. Instagram is soft porn, and adverts -- that's all I see it as, both of which will have a detrimental effect on your view of stuff.

I always tell people to delete these apps, and stay away from them. If you simply can't please do delete them after you use them and redownload them. They are responsible for some much data collection on your devices, including location and habits associated with your device usage which will and is used against you.

I mentioned this before, but if you get time please do watch this when it comes out.

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Nail on head
 
I haven't been on this page for a while. My divorce, and 14 year old daughter are still stressing me like mad but work has kept me busy.
I wonder a lot about death and whether life the other side would be better but I don't think I'm suicidal although I no how I would do it to make it instant and pain free.
Life is just lonely and tough now without my wife and most of the time my daughter. But I no the only option is divorce.
 
dave n said:
I haven't been on this page for a while. My divorce, and 14 year old daughter are still stressing me like mad but work has kept me busy.
I wonder a lot about death and whether life the other side would be better but I don't think I'm suicidal although I no how I would do it to make it instant and pain free.
Life is just lonely and tough now without my wife and most of the time my daughter. But I no the only option is divorce.
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You'll be fine mate. I haven't had to go through divorce mind but the 14 year old daughter bit I fully understand. I love my daughter NOW...shes 25....but when she was 14 I was literally losing my hair, patience and sanity. They are a life lesson alright !!! I have three sons too and they were a relative cake walk through fields of strawberries and butter cups. Easy peasy... but her !! Oh my days. " YOUR NOT GOING OUT IN THAT....WHATTIMEDOYOUCALLTHIS !!!! A NIGHT CLUB !!! NO !!! YOU CANT GO !!! I found it really tough, turns out so did she. Being a teenage girl is hard at the best of times, Now with social media on 24 hrs a day the peer pressure alone is an absolute killer. Boost her up when ever you get the chance, cuddle her at least 20x per day, make sure she knows you have her back...whatever happens.
Probably the best advise I can give. As I said, it deffo gets harder before it gets better.....but it does get better..for both of you....and believe me, she will need you loads in the coming years... so ignore them crazy thoughts you have and buckle in for one of the hardest but eventually most rewarding life lessons you will ever face.
 

dave n said:
I haven't been on this page for a while. My divorce, and 14 year old daughter are still stressing me like mad but work has kept me busy.
I wonder a lot about death and whether life the other side would be better but I don't think I'm suicidal although I no how I would do it to make it instant and pain free.
Life is just lonely and tough now without my wife and most of the time my daughter. But I no the only option is divorce.
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I've been through a period of wondering/thinking about death, it started on September the 11th 2016, I had to write the date and as I was writing it I realized that the new York attacks were 15 years ago, the 15 years seemed to have passed so very quickly I'd I started thinking in jumps of 15 years and and thought that I will likely will only see another 3, fifteen year jumps and I will be 80 years old, the more I thought about how quickly the first 15 years passed I worried about the next 3 passing as quickly... not sure if I've explained that well it makes sense to me.. but the longer it went on the more anxious I got, I finally went to a psychiatrist and after a few sessions he said something that stopped my anxiety almost straight away.. "you can worry about death all you want but you will die just like everyone else and all the worrying will have done is lessen the quality of your life". I know you didn't say your worried about death but dwelling on it can cause worry and anxiety.
 
Dave, as someone that suffered and, to a lesser extent still suffers, from OCD - it sounds like you are ruminating on death.

What lies for us beyond this life is unknown and truly unknowable, even for spiritual people. What we are guaranteed is the here and now. Making permanent decisions based on short term suffering - and believe me, basically everything is a short term trouble in the scope of life - seems counter intuitive.

I've ruminated on death and existentialism before and got absolutely nowhere. What we've been given is essentially our choice of how to live. I liken life to being given a bucket or a shopping cart, and having the choice to fill it with experiences however you like. Holding one's self back from experiencing the best of life is useless. Make peace, forget the hag that drug you down and abused you, and pursue happiness.

In my opinion.
 
Tipp blue said:
I've been through a period of wondering/thinking about death, it started on September the 11th 2016, I had to write the date and as I was writing it I realized that the new York attacks were 15 years ago, the 15 years seemed to have passed so very quickly I'd I started thinking in jumps of 15 years and and thought that I will likely will only see another 3, fifteen year jumps and I will be 80 years old, the more I thought about how quickly the first 15 years passed I worried about the next 3 passing as quickly... not sure if I've explained that well it makes sense to me.. but the longer it went on the more anxious I got, I finally went to a psychiatrist and after a few sessions he said something that stopped my anxiety almost straight away.. "you can worry about death all you want but you will die just like everyone else and all the worrying will have done is lessen the quality of your life". I know you didn't say your worried about death but dwelling on it can cause worry and anxiety.
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I know where you are coming from. When my Mum died a couple of years ago I suddenly realised that on her side of the family I had no uncles, aunties, grandparents so my generation are now the oldest in the family. Made me think a lot.Stuff like "I've now had more than I've got left" Also had thoughts, like you, about 15 year periods. I was born 15 and a bit years after the war ended. My parents and grandparents talked about it a lot. I now understand why - 15 to 20 years ago - is recent history. You don't understand that when you are young.

I think your psychiatrist was right - you can't do anything about kicking the bucket so don't worry about it.
 
Can’t remember having seen @goodisonopheliac having posted in here or elsewhere on the site for a while. Notice her profile appears to have disappeared. Hope everything is OK with her. She appears to have had a few personal problems, but also made some great contributions. Keep well if you’re reading and come back to us.
 

Enjoying not taking citalopram every day, think I have mentioned I'm only taking it once a week when the weird dizziness/ weird head drops( its like going over a speed bump, is the only way I can explain it) happen, not for the mental dependancy. I am trying to get myself in shape again, got a cross trainer for the house which is low resistance so my injury shouldn't be made worse.

No excuses.
 
I've just had a mid term scan on my chemo. Unfortunately it appears not to be going to plan. At the moment I'm ok as it's kind of what I was expecting but I've now got a decision to make. Continue and hope it starts working but side effects of chemo mean I'm tired a lot or try something different or accept my fate and at least enjoy what I've got left. The scan result is a secret at the minute as I can't cope with the thought of people saying be positive as they don't understand how I feel. I can't explain as I don't really understand how I feel either. It's been such a roller coaster and people have been so kind but ultimately this is a lonely battle.
 
messymascot said:
I've just had a mid term scan on my chemo. Unfortunately it appears not to be going to plan. At the moment I'm ok as it's kind of what I was expecting but I've now got a decision to make. Continue and hope it starts working but side effects of chemo mean I'm tired a lot or try something different or accept my fate and at least enjoy what I've got left. The scan result is a secret at the minute as I can't cope with the thought of people saying be positive as they don't understand how I feel. I can't explain as I don't really understand how I feel either. It's been such a roller coaster and people have been so kind but ultimately this is a lonely battle.
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Just keep posting mate.

Even if you think you’re making no sense, you can get it all of your chest anonymously on here.

Stay strong brother x
 
messymascot said:
I've just had a mid term scan on my chemo. Unfortunately it appears not to be going to plan. At the moment I'm ok as it's kind of what I was expecting but I've now got a decision to make. Continue and hope it starts working but side effects of chemo mean I'm tired a lot or try something different or accept my fate and at least enjoy what I've got left. The scan result is a secret at the minute as I can't cope with the thought of people saying be positive as they don't understand how I feel. I can't explain as I don't really understand how I feel either. It's been such a roller coaster and people have been so kind but ultimately this is a lonely battle.
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I’m sorry to hear that. Can’t imagine what you’re going through and what an incredibly difficult decision that must be.

The only advice I can give is to keep talking. On here, to your friends and family, and to your doctors / nurses too (you might be surprised how insightful and philosophical those guys can be too, rather than simply clinical) get as much input as you can.

Although it’s a lonely battle, it doesn’t have to be something you experience on your own, even if it’s just someone to hold your hand and say that, whatever happens, everything is going to be alright.
 

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