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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

BigBlueConk said:
About this time last year I was struggling financially. I had a full time job with Asda, but with all the cut backs to stay in work I took demotions that left me at minimum wage. I needed to take home about £1200 a month to break even with bills, mortgage and car. I was taking home about £1000 a month. I was slowly sliding into debt and could not see a way out, without getting lucky with another job.

I got 'lucky' with another job at Morrisons as Night Manager. On another thread I was sharing with you guys what happens there. I have a 40 hour week contract. The pay is good and clear my needs. However, the job is impossible in 40 hours. Myself and the other 2 night managers work 60 hours a week. We are salaried. We do not earn much above minimum wage when we break down our hours.
The other side of this is that we feel bullied/manipulated into doing the shifts.
I am exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically. We have raised grievances, they get swept under the carpet.
If we state that we will only work our hours, then we get threatened with performance management for not completing the job.

Then last week it happened because we are too vocal.
I have been put on performance management because of standards.I am awaiting a review and technically they could give me 4 weeks notice at the review in two weeks time.
Another manager has been put on investigation for alleged bullying. He isn't a bully.
The third manager has received a warning for working too many hours.

It is all a device to keep us in line and in mycase I suspect to get rid of me.

On Thursday night I snapped. I told the senior line manager that I do not enjoy working with a gun to my head. I stated that they are trying to 'manage' out those whose faces do not fit. (Two team managers walked last week after pressure applied on them). They already know I am on medication for stress related illness. I also added that I would never expect them to admit it. I said they would be delighted if I gave my notice because that is what they are working towards. He chuckled and denied it.

Needless to say on Friday morning I got hauled over the coals on 2 issues the Store Manager found. 2 issues across a massive shop is FA. No mention was made of all the good work done around the rest of the store. That is quite normal.

So I have the same dilemma as last year. I can not afford to be out of work. I need to earn enough to pay my bills or lose my house. The job I am in is destroying me. I can not put in words just what is happening at work. It might sound like I am just moaning. I have worked hard all my life and not afraid of hard work. This is slave labour and mental torture.

My belief is that I have less than 6 weeks left and then I really do not know what to do.
I have already applied for loads of jobs and joined agencies. Not getting anything back.

Family are suggesting I put a sick note in. This has never been my ethic and I think it would work against me longer term.
Right now this morning, I feel sick and dread going back into work.
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I've just thought of something else. Your employer could be in breach of the working time regulations. Have you ever signed an opt out. If you haven't then you should not be working more than a 48 hour week averaged out over a 17 week period.

I can't possibly agree with the advice given that you should continue to work a 60 hour week when the job is having such a bad effect on you. Morrisons is a big company, they will have clear policies and guidance on sickness absence - probably with stages of warnings giving a person a chance to improve their attendance before dismissal is even thought of. Out of interest, what makes you think you've only got 6 weeks left? Also I would keep a diary of everything that has been said to you that concerns you. Use it as evidence if you do take out a grievance.
 
62976


This is a table suggesting better terms to use than agony-aunt style non-validated trite. It’s aimed at improving communication in the workplace but clearly so much of it is relevant to speaking with people fighting mental health illness.
 

The Missing Lineker said:
View attachment 62976

This is a table suggesting better terms to use than agony-aunt style non-validated trite. It’s aimed at improving communication in the workplace but clearly so much of it is relevant to speaking with people fighting mental health illness.
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This is interesting. I lost my nan through dementia and sad to say my dad is about to be discharged into a care home for same reason. It's happened so suddenly we are all in bits. The stuff on the right I've heard so much. Whilst not necessarily bad it's always been from people who perhaps have nothing to say or don't know what to say. If i heard those words from close family perhaps i would feel different but to me, from other people they sound hollow.
 
witchdoc187 said:
This is interesting. I lost my nan through dementia and sad to say my dad is about to be discharged into a care home for same reason. It's happened so suddenly we are all in bits. The stuff on the right I've heard so much. Whilst not necessarily bad it's always been from people who perhaps have nothing to say or don't know what to say. If i heard those words from close family perhaps i would feel different but to me, from other people they sound hollow.
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I fully agree. Ive been in this situation many time just like most of us in here. Ever since I started working in a Mental Hospital in the States, I have been practicing my lingo with the clients. It is so satisfying to see them feel like I care by just the way the sentences are formed. It truly does make that positive impact many people need while providing insightful meanings to conversations. Fantastic picture above.
 
Been told I should apply for a new role at work. The negativity in me tells me its people wanting rid of me. It's a role I know I can do but's my anxiety and depression holding me back.

Interviews and even writing a new CV generally put me off anything, despite the possible gain.

Anyhow, just been hit with a £2000 debt from years ago. It was a loan I had with my ex. She kept the furniture and white goods we both paid for and she took responsibility for the loan we had in joint names.

Sadly, she didn't. As she can't be traced, I could. Got a letter from the County Court that baliffs would be coming at the end of the werk.

Panicked, now I'm in a payment plan of £240 a month. Which compromises my life totally, including going to all home games.

Anyway, I'm waffling as usual...this gave me the impetus to apply for this new role which I probably wouldn't have done otherwise.
 
The Missing Lineker said:
View attachment 62976

This is a table suggesting better terms to use than agony-aunt style non-validated trite. It’s aimed at improving communication in the workplace but clearly so much of it is relevant to speaking with people fighting mental health illness.
Click to expand...

Yep, so true.

But people who have never suffered it never know what to say. It's like when a relative of a work colleague dies, and you you say 'hope you're ok'

Clearly their not, but you ask the question anyway.

There's still a lot to learn about this illness.

God knows why its so prevalent in modern times. Social media doesn't help as all it does it project an imagine of how we should be feeling.

I've seen the posts and photos of my mates and their lifes look great, but the realty is different.
 
Golan said:
Been told I should apply for a new role at work. The negativity in me tells me its people wanting rid of me. It's a role I know I can do but's my anxiety and depression holding me back.

Interviews and even writing a new CV generally put me off anything, despite the possible gain.

Anyhow, just been hit with a £2000 debt from years ago. It was a loan I had with my ex. She kept the furniture and white goods we both paid for and she took responsibility for the loan we had in joint names.

Sadly, she didn't. As she can't be traced, I could. Got a letter from the County Court that baliffs would be coming at the end of the werk.

Panicked, now I'm in a payment plan of £240 a month. Which compromises my life totally, including going to all home games.

Anyway, I'm waffling as usual...this gave me the impetus to apply for this new role which I probably wouldn't have done otherwise.
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Get some independent advice - try citizens advice. £240 a month sounds like an awful lot for a £2000 loan. Speak to the lender - although if they have sold on the debt then this may be pointless. There's a lso a charity called Stepchange who may be able to help.
 

anjelikaferrett said:
Get some independent advice - try citizens advice. £240 a month sounds like an awful lot for a £2000 loan. Speak to the lender - although if they have sold on the debt then this may be pointless. There's a lso a charity called Stepchange who may be able to help.
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I know, buts its only for 9 months. It's come through the County Court, could've maybe haggled less but I just want it gone.

I can afford it...just but it means obviously cuttimg back on my spending. Something I seem to struggle with. It's going to be a test and it's set my plans back till March but it'll i feel like im up for the challenge!
 
tommye said:
Lad I've known through work for best part of 20 years killed himself at the weekend.
Wife and 4 kids.


Depression is a horrible [Poor language removed] and the sooner we can put an end to this blight on us all the better place the world will be.


RIP Owen xxx
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What a tragedy.

I know you’ll make sure his wife and kids are looked after as best as you can x
 

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