efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
Your last sentence so true. This is why I always treat my children ths way I would want to be treated.
Your last sentence so true. This is why I always treat my children ths way I would want to be treated.
MrD
Player Valuation: £10m
I'm sorry if my continuous posts in here come across as self pity and moaning but i'm struggling a lot with regret. It's really killing me and eating me up. I've lost the love of my life due to me not doing enough to get help and better myself. I've ruined the best relationship i've ever had or ever likely to get.
My ex was just red hot too. I've lost the perfect woman for me because i was just too weak and lazy to fix things. I just can't get it out of my head and i'm bracing myself for when she meets another fella. I know it's going to finish me off. He's going to be everything i'm not and have everything i had with her but better.
I'm so unhappy about it. It's playing over and over in my head 24 hours a day almost. It's doing me in.
sorry to moan as i know to a lot of people i'm just felling sorry for myself. i just can't help these feelings. i wish i could go back in time and change things.
sorry lads. tell me to sort myself out if you like and stop whinging
My ex was just red hot too. I've lost the perfect woman for me because i was just too weak and lazy to fix things. I just can't get it out of my head and i'm bracing myself for when she meets another fella. I know it's going to finish me off. He's going to be everything i'm not and have everything i had with her but better.
I'm so unhappy about it. It's playing over and over in my head 24 hours a day almost. It's doing me in.
sorry to moan as i know to a lot of people i'm just felling sorry for myself. i just can't help these feelings. i wish i could go back in time and change things.
sorry lads. tell me to sort myself out if you like and stop whinging
Writing this before bed.
This week has been very challenging mentally, I've really struggled.
I'm getting extremely P'd off by the hypocrisy I'm having to put up with in work. Getting reprimanded for things that everyone else in the room is doing. It feels again like I'm stuck working with a bunch of cliquey mates who think they're better than me. I want to raise my anger and frustration in a 1 to 1 meeting with a manager but I highly doubt that will help the situation. Literally having to watch colleagues chatting about their personal lives, plans after work, showing each other pictures on their phones, screaming with laughter at one another's crap jokes. I say anything, literally a question out loud, I get a snotty email saying "you're distracting the team, your job is to sit and do this". How is being in a room and putting up with that supposed to make a person feel throughout a working day. Really did feel like I was Baldrick being told to sod off by Blackadder.
I like this job for the most part, it's quite interesting and most people are nice in a 1 to 1 setting but the sheer hypocrisy I'm forced to deal with is really getting me down. I go into my own head, inevitably lose concentration and a mistake happens. Then after that I get lectured. I've felt like snapping a few times, saying so loudly that everyone in the place can hear just how P'd off I am. The other day I was in a particularly bad moment, absolutely all over the place mentally I was so angry by the state of things that someone noticed and asked if I wanted to go home. I said no and just made something up to explain why I was behaving so oddly.
Don't know what to do going forward, when the day ends I'm trying to go home and just live my life and forget it. I've already decided it's probably best I don't attend work functions in the future, be bothered giving my personal time up for people who arent interested in socialising with me (but will with each other) throughout a working day. F that.
Can't wait for this course I'm doing to start, I want to put my plans for a career fully in motion whilst making sure it's no one else's business.
This week has been very challenging mentally, I've really struggled.
I'm getting extremely P'd off by the hypocrisy I'm having to put up with in work. Getting reprimanded for things that everyone else in the room is doing. It feels again like I'm stuck working with a bunch of cliquey mates who think they're better than me. I want to raise my anger and frustration in a 1 to 1 meeting with a manager but I highly doubt that will help the situation. Literally having to watch colleagues chatting about their personal lives, plans after work, showing each other pictures on their phones, screaming with laughter at one another's crap jokes. I say anything, literally a question out loud, I get a snotty email saying "you're distracting the team, your job is to sit and do this". How is being in a room and putting up with that supposed to make a person feel throughout a working day. Really did feel like I was Baldrick being told to sod off by Blackadder.
I like this job for the most part, it's quite interesting and most people are nice in a 1 to 1 setting but the sheer hypocrisy I'm forced to deal with is really getting me down. I go into my own head, inevitably lose concentration and a mistake happens. Then after that I get lectured. I've felt like snapping a few times, saying so loudly that everyone in the place can hear just how P'd off I am. The other day I was in a particularly bad moment, absolutely all over the place mentally I was so angry by the state of things that someone noticed and asked if I wanted to go home. I said no and just made something up to explain why I was behaving so oddly.
Don't know what to do going forward, when the day ends I'm trying to go home and just live my life and forget it. I've already decided it's probably best I don't attend work functions in the future, be bothered giving my personal time up for people who arent interested in socialising with me (but will with each other) throughout a working day. F that.
Can't wait for this course I'm doing to start, I want to put my plans for a career fully in motion whilst making sure it's no one else's business.
Frang
Player Valuation: £70m
so so true..
ive worked for my dad for best part of 20 years and its just got to the point where I just cant deal with anymore.
he speaks to me like an absolute piece of crap.. if things go wrong its always down to me, nobody else has ever had a warning off him or been yelled at , but he wont have it. thinks ive genuinely had it easy.
this is the reason for me retraining in something completely different, so that im not reliant on him. he loves the fact that I failed and had to move back home , its soooo demorilising and demeaning.
witchdoc187
Player Valuation: £60m
Sounds like your dad is the unhappy one mate. Great you're doing stuff to get out of the situation.
Frang
Player Valuation: £70m
working enviroments are just the worst.
I struggle, im quite opinionated and blunt (some people see this as a positive but the majority see it as a major problem)
this is one of the main reasons ive decided to re-train as a hgv driver, as at the end of the day your on your own 90% of the time which suits me just fine. I cant not suffer fools at work … I just cant cope with it. im much happier in my own company doing things how I want to do them etc.
this is a new(ish) job for you if I remember right ?? the only thing I can suggest is to try and get friendly with them,and work your way into the group / clique
if that isn't an option, I wouldn't want to do that, then a change is a good as anything else . I know this a lot easier said than done though
johnjoeefc
Player Valuation: £20m
Hi mate, I'm actually in a not too dissimilar situation myself. Try to not let it get to you and the way I see it is that a lot of people are very simple minded.
They need their little clicky groups to feel wanted and fulfilled. Me personally, I go to work to do the work, get paid and go home and I try to not let work politics affect me.
In the past I have struggled in these situations emotionally and let it get to me but as I got older I tend to handle it better. Another thing that helps is that I sleep well and I dont drink alcohol anymore. These two things can affect both judgement in situations and the way you react to situations. You may not drink at all but just in case, Alcohol can have negative effects both long term and medium term on your nervous system. Since I stopped drinking totally I find myself able to retain composure better in confrontational type situations. The good sleep helps too, 7-8 hours a night.
Best of luck anyway mate and hope it improves for you soon.
I wrote on here a few weeks ago about my son self-diagnosing ADD and telling me he thinks it is passed down from me .I took an online test and it said I might have a ADHD subtype .I then on advice from here visited a psychiatrist ,who told me that I don't have either ADD or ADHD .My son in the meanwhile has had a referral to a unit yet to be opened where he lives ,upon chatting last night I realised that there were things in his past that could suggest he has a condition that needs addressing .
So last night I read up more and did this test :-
psychcentral.com
It says once again that I have a moderate form of ADHD .My problem is that I find the questions too broad and that I think it would apply to many more people than actually have the ADHD .
So I am asking if anyone is prepared to do the test it ,takes two minutes .Then let me know their scores and whether they do believe the result is correct.
May be it could be set up by the mods as some sort of anonymous poll.
One point that rankles are the questions ,do you ever mislay something ?and do you ever interrupt when someone is talking ? I really believe everyone does those ,am I wrong?
Thanks
So last night I read up more and did this test :-
ADHD Test: Self-Assessment
Do I have ADHD? Take our ADHD quiz to see if you may have symptoms.
psychcentral.com
It says once again that I have a moderate form of ADHD .My problem is that I find the questions too broad and that I think it would apply to many more people than actually have the ADHD .
So I am asking if anyone is prepared to do the test it ,takes two minutes .Then let me know their scores and whether they do believe the result is correct.
May be it could be set up by the mods as some sort of anonymous poll.
One point that rankles are the questions ,do you ever mislay something ?and do you ever interrupt when someone is talking ? I really believe everyone does those ,am I wrong?
Thanks
I wrote on here a few weeks ago about my son self-diagnosing ADD and telling me he thinks it is passed down from me .I took an online test and it said I might have a ADHD subtype .I then on advice from here visited a psychiatrist ,who told me that I don't have either ADD or ADHD .My son in the meanwhile has had a referral to a unit yet to be opened where he lives ,upon chatting last night I realised that there were things in his past that could suggest he has a condition that needs addressing .
So last night I read up more and did this test :-
ADHD Test: Self-Assessment
Do I have ADHD? Take our ADHD quiz to see if you may have symptoms.
It says once again that I have a moderate form of ADHD .My problem is that I find the questions too broad and that I think it would apply to many more people than actually have the ADHD .
So I am asking if anyone is prepared to do the test it ,takes two minutes .Then let me know their scores and whether they do believe the result is correct.
May be it could be set up by the mods as some sort of anonymous poll.
One point that rankles are the questions ,do you ever mislay something ?and do you ever interrupt when someone is talking ? I really believe everyone does those ,am I wrong?
Thanks
I just done the test mate and pretty much all my answers were "rarely" just to be on the safe side and it still scored me as might be having ADHD (I probably could have put never in the majority of them)
The only one I 'sometimes' do is interrupt when people are talking and that's usually during jokes and having discussions like most folk do.
I think the questions are too broad so I wouldn't read too much into that test personally.
I wrote on here a few weeks ago about my son self-diagnosing ADD and telling me he thinks it is passed down from me .I took an online test and it said I might have a ADHD subtype .I then on advice from here visited a psychiatrist ,who told me that I don't have either ADD or ADHD .My son in the meanwhile has had a referral to a unit yet to be opened where he lives ,upon chatting last night I realised that there were things in his past that could suggest he has a condition that needs addressing .
So last night I read up more and did this test :-
ADHD Test: Self-Assessment
Do I have ADHD? Take our ADHD quiz to see if you may have symptoms.
It says once again that I have a moderate form of ADHD .My problem is that I find the questions too broad and that I think it would apply to many more people than actually have the ADHD .
So I am asking if anyone is prepared to do the test it ,takes two minutes .Then let me know their scores and whether they do believe the result is correct.
May be it could be set up by the mods as some sort of anonymous poll.
One point that rankles are the questions ,do you ever mislay something ?and do you ever interrupt when someone is talking ? I really believe everyone does those ,am I wrong?
Thanks
I would largely disregard the online tests and if you genuinely think there might be something then the first port of call is your GP, if they think it's needed they can then refer you to get it properly assessed. The process for diagnosing ADD and all of the associated things such as ADHD/ODD is much more in-depth and lengthy than an online test, I'm speaking as the parent of a kid diagnosed with ADHD/ODD and currently going through the process of an Autism/Aspergers diagnosis.
Go and see your GP and bin off these online tests if you have genuine concerns.
I thank you for that input and he is actually waiting for a referral ,I have seen a psychiatrist and been given the all clear but my point was that as you say the tests are not deep enough.A bit like the mensa test on the back of the Echo ,10 questions to see if you are a genius .
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
How are you doing today mate?
I really think you're being too hard on yourself with regards to the situation with your ex.
I may not word this particularly well but looked at another way she chose to end the relationship whilst you are going through a mental health condition. I'm sure you already know this but broadly speaking a mental health condition means your brain is not working as it should. Suppose you'd been in accident and broken both legs and so been unable to work, would she have seen fit to end the relationship? I'm sure she wouldn't.
Far from me to comment on your ex's behaviour, I don't know her of course.
If I were you mate I would focus on being the best possible father you can be. Take value in that and you'll find that other people begin to value you as well. Keep going mate. Things will get better.
Finally, do not stop posting. We're all routing for you.
Feeling a bit better, think I've finally reached a semi-decent headspace. Hope it lasts. Cheers everyone.
I had an awful relationship with my Mum. Nothing i did was ever good enough. I cannot remember a single positive thing she ever said to me about the way I look, my clothes, my choice of career, my choice of husband, my politics or my children. As a result ( in spite of being a gobby Union rep for part of the day!) I never stand up for myself, always think I'm a bit rubbish and that people tolerate me rather than like me. I'm proper insecure at that level. I have done exactly the same as you have with your children but especially my daughter because I don't want to have the same relationship with me as I had with my Mum. I tell her she's great and always try to boost her self-confidence. It seems to have worked. We have a lovely relationship.