GOT at it's best. It's worth a read. And the offer of support from me (and others), will always stand, I'm sure.
Help is there if you need it.
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Help is there if you need it.
bluestevon
Player Valuation: £80m
It does mate, overall we have some sound lads on here, many who've either been through things personally or have experience being their for people who have, either professionally or personally, anyone who is finding themselves struggling should try take that first step and reach out and talk to someone imo, silence and trying to bottle it all up inside is a persons worst enemy dealing with depression, stress or anxiety
I had exactly the same thing anxiety depression suicidal thoughts never went out the house for many years at the age of 35 I was a heavy drinker and using a lot of drugs I really was in a horrible Dark place somewhere I would never like to go again I have 3 great kids and a beutiful girlfriend. The things I done was I got help I seen doctors and a psychiatrists went to group sessions I stopped drinking and taking the drugs(I haven't touched a drop now for three years) I go out every day I have my season tickets back now and my doctor and girlfriend say I am a totally different person. I never took one bit of medication and still don't. so if you are suffering don't suffer on your own go seek help it is tough but just sit and think what the hell am I doing here I'm just as good as everybody else.
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Just a message to people who are struggling with supporting somebody who suffer from depression, and sometimes feel it is going nowhere and that person will always just be "like that".
Spent almost the whole of a 12 year friendship trying to support and guide a great friend through depression. It got frustrating at times as it was hard to see things how they see it - you can't - but once I realised I can't fully help him and could only be there for him and encourage him to get help and avoid the sources of misery around him then our dialogue became clearer and I finally thought I was of use to him. Many of these years we lived in different countries which made it all the harder.
Don't ever underestimate how quickly a person can sink, and how their way of thinking when in the grips of depression drags them further down. They are literally in a hole and rarely are able to find a way out themselves. Every bit of support can help.
In the end my mate has probably had the best year of his life since his teen years and was even able to deal with a couple of rejections from the ladies without a setback. One of the funniest guys I've met when he is in form, so it's amazing to speak every day and see that side of him all the time.
It was on my mind today as he is coming to visit me this week. All those years of struggling with him and thinking it was going nowhere and couldnt help and feeling useless were eventually worth it in the end. Whats a few years if your friend or family member were always able to count on your support and finally have something resembling a "normal" life?
Basically my message is to keep going. Don't believe you personally can get them out, more so believe you can help in the worst moments and guide them to help themselves. Always looking towards professional help for their illness, and always trying to keep them away from the parts of their life or people in their life who keep them down. This involves a mountain of repitition.....the same conversations over and over as you try to keep the positive side, and the pathway out at the front of their mind even when it seems they arent listening. The opposite...letting things slide and getting tired of telling them the same thing, can really lead to a slippery path downwards as they will struggle to see what you can see no matter how obvious it seems to you.
sorry for the essay and lots of respect to the people writing on here who have managed to get past this and make a life for themselves.
Spent almost the whole of a 12 year friendship trying to support and guide a great friend through depression. It got frustrating at times as it was hard to see things how they see it - you can't - but once I realised I can't fully help him and could only be there for him and encourage him to get help and avoid the sources of misery around him then our dialogue became clearer and I finally thought I was of use to him. Many of these years we lived in different countries which made it all the harder.
Don't ever underestimate how quickly a person can sink, and how their way of thinking when in the grips of depression drags them further down. They are literally in a hole and rarely are able to find a way out themselves. Every bit of support can help.
In the end my mate has probably had the best year of his life since his teen years and was even able to deal with a couple of rejections from the ladies without a setback. One of the funniest guys I've met when he is in form, so it's amazing to speak every day and see that side of him all the time.
It was on my mind today as he is coming to visit me this week. All those years of struggling with him and thinking it was going nowhere and couldnt help and feeling useless were eventually worth it in the end. Whats a few years if your friend or family member were always able to count on your support and finally have something resembling a "normal" life?
Basically my message is to keep going. Don't believe you personally can get them out, more so believe you can help in the worst moments and guide them to help themselves. Always looking towards professional help for their illness, and always trying to keep them away from the parts of their life or people in their life who keep them down. This involves a mountain of repitition.....the same conversations over and over as you try to keep the positive side, and the pathway out at the front of their mind even when it seems they arent listening. The opposite...letting things slide and getting tired of telling them the same thing, can really lead to a slippery path downwards as they will struggle to see what you can see no matter how obvious it seems to you.
sorry for the essay and lots of respect to the people writing on here who have managed to get past this and make a life for themselves.
The Esk
Player Valuation: £70m
Agree - sticky it is
roydo
in memoriam - 1965-2024
Cheers mate. (Rep). Well on the road now, thankfully, but your post spoke from the other side as it were, as a helper, not a victim, so resonated with me. As you now know!
I'm just glad it's helped folk. The wife (@Morag) has had problems with this terrible illness and that was my main reason for starting the thread - I'd hate to lose someone through it.
Honest to God, meeting people from here last summer, including @chicoazul, @bluejock, @micknick, @MoutsGoat and @BlueLlama (among others, you all know who you are) helped both of us deal with the problem. It got her out and meeting new people, and while the problem hasn't gone away, she's much better at dealing with things these days.
So thanks everybody, you've all helped.
Honest to God, meeting people from here last summer, including @chicoazul, @bluejock, @micknick, @MoutsGoat and @BlueLlama (among others, you all know who you are) helped both of us deal with the problem. It got her out and meeting new people, and while the problem hasn't gone away, she's much better at dealing with things these days.
So thanks everybody, you've all helped.
Going to be contacting MIND shortly, so if anyone has any suggestions on a GOT / MIND collaboration, please fire away.
http://www.mind.org.uk/
http://www.mind.org.uk/
bluestevon
Player Valuation: £80m
Glad the missus is doing a lot better mate, it's a long battle but seems like she has a good support network around her and a good bloke by her side, and that's a great foundation to build upon mate
bluestevon
Player Valuation: £80m
Good idea Groucho, actually an official link between the club and charities such as this would imo be a great step forward and something i'd like to see be developed, especially given the connection between efc and speed.
But trying to find a way to collaborate between GOT and MIND would be really worthwhile
As by bycicle header seemed to say having someone to listen can be enough. I know it's a minefield with regards to CRB and having qualifications in the field but I would be more than willing to have a chat and a cuppa with someone. My father in law said that's what got him through a lot of the times. There must be loads without family and friends.
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roydo
in memoriam - 1965-2024
I would take a steer from MIND Grouch. Explain how the thread started, how it has developed, and let them see it. Obviously!
Think they will be amazed actually. (As you know). And, seriously, it is just the sort of "story" that I could imagine Victoria Derbyshire on 5 Live picking up on.
Perhaps chat to the Everton in the Community people too.
Southall1EFC
Player Valuation: £500k
I think the concept of a supporting community among football fans specifically targeting depression is a fantastic idea. The GoT forum is a stellar example of the empathy of like minded people and how it can benefit those that are in need of support.
Just the thought that we're all in it together breeds hope, and being a part of a larger community and the sense of belonging that comes with it can be quite helpful.