I don't really know how to post this so I'll just have to say it directly. I've deliberated posting this for a while now and always clicked off so taking a lot to write this.
On New year's Eve I lost my nan. Around half 11 to be precise. I had no way of getting over there by the time I found out so all i can do is support my mum every step of the way. I'm not a person who really deals with emotions about anything, going the flat was a coping mechanism simply to have it all hit me. As you can probably expect I was close to her and essentially she helped raise me , all through my life I have memories.
The last week has been none stop with problems with everything , believe me I haven't had time to grieve or deal with it properly as a result. Plus still being normal for the family is a big thing for me. Can't have them see me upset , which I know isn't the right attitude but there you go.
Anyway, I went the bank with my mum to close it over today as my auntie was the nominated person to take money out for my nan whilst she was still alive. So she would take money out for her on her behalf when she asked and that only really was for shopping or going the pub with my mum on a Monday night. Nothing excessive bar a phone bill for about 20 quid. There was no card , it was simply a paying in book that she would take and withdraw each amount. Up until now she has always forgot to bring the book with her when she met up with my mum.
After over an hour in the bank after they couldn't find her account we found out 2 things. One was that sometime in the past she had changed the bank address to her own without telling anyone.
The second? She has been withdrawing every penny out the account for as long as we know. Even 12 months ago she was taking every penny out, she knew what went in and when it did so that meant more than one trip to the bank a week sometimes. We are talking thousands here , not just a few quid off the top like I thought it would be. My nan died with 160 pounds to her name.
To be honest I have no idea how to feel, about what to do. They is no money to get back from her as she would never have it to pay back. Plus why claim the money? It belonged to my nan only , noone has claim to it. The other side is criminal activity but my mum wouldn't want to send her sister to prison. So I have no idea what to do and the weight of the world is on my shoulders because it's going to have to be me to bring all this out . I'm not just losing my nan , I'm losing an aunt, uncle , cousins here.
Also for context , my auntie chose to go home drinking for new year after knowing her mum was dying. Didn't go to see her Christmas day in hospital . She did however go and take more money out the day she died, possibly even after knowing.
In total since my nan went into hospital she has taken out anywhere between 1000-1500 with my mum only seeing 300 for the funeral . She has withdrew for herself since my nan died 600 pounds , possibly more as the statement only went to friday and she let slip she has been yesterday even.
So yeah , sorry for the long post . I know there isn't an answer in all of this and it's an impossible situation. I just don't know how to feel knowing what's to come and then weight of it all on my shoulders now. even now I haven't got time to deal with anything and I have work to go back to next week so that's not going to be encouraging.
Sorry for the post
