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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

wbn61 said:
last few times I came on this thread it was full of optimism and good feeling. I didn't want to post my situation and take away from that. now it's been asked I am lousy, the lowest I have ever been, I just want it over with now but I can't give up it would go against everything I am, catch 22 lol but I don't think it will be too long now. hope everyone is fine and keep up that fighting spirit:dance:
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I'm a bit late to this. Just wanted to add to what has already been said, and what I've said before - over this difficult period for yourself you've offered to the people who visit here something that will not be forgotten, something humbling, spirited and, at times, hard to think about, but something essential and always with an amazing sense of humour and honesty. It's great that the thread has been an outlet for you when it's needed, but what you've contributed is also important and I know I'm not the only one who is grateful for everything you've typed here and the courage it takes to do it. It won't be forgotten.
 
I know not a lot of people wont watch eastenders on here but the storyline with lee at the moment is pretty much like watching myself on Tv.

I think it's good that they are getting it out there
 


Right lads, never posted in here before and I won't share my long winded story as I still don't like talking about it.

I've been off work since July 14th with depression and anxiety, depression is something I've struggled with since 2004 officially, 1995(I personally believe). I've been going to first steps and am 11 sessions in, she has extended it to 20. However last week I had a bad day and thinking of doing the worst and got taken to the crisis team or home treatment team as they call it now.

I was with them 72 hours and now I'm waiting to see if I can go back to my therapist and pick up where I left off.

So this was last week, I had been making progress and was feeling confident about going back to work. I saw Occupational health on Sept 13th and they said they would phase me back into work; that never happened and never heard off them until, last week.

Anyway I saw occupational health last Thursday and they have phased me return to work for tomorrow and quite frankly lads, I'm bricking it, my anxiety levels are though the roof, didn't sleep thinking about it last night and expecting the same tonight.

I don't feel ready and can't understand why everyone is rushing me. So I'm all over the shop today, I don't want to go in, I don't feel ready. If it was a broken leg they wouldn't be rushing me. Sick off mental health being treat with disdain.

That's a bit of my current predicament, thanks for listening, at least you lot will understand.

I take 150mg venlafaxine twice a day. I'm on morphine and pregablin for the newly diagnosed arthritis in my neck, metformin for my newly diagnoses diabetes and lansoprazole for gastric problems.
 
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1966efc said:
The chap we're currently looking after is going through a protracted dying period (no great surprise - he's 94) but it's reawakened memories of two experiences which trouble me. Although they're well in the past (61 and 97), there's enough venom there to colour my thinking.

Resentment may not have the same high profile as anger but - only in my experience - it has the power to depress and twist thought, relationships, and a more relaxed approach to problems that crop up.

I only mention this because some others may be re - living historic experience and feeling daft because they can't seem to get over it. You aren't alone.
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Me and my therapist have got to the point where basically I am stuck in the past. I lost my career in the Navy being a young stupid fool and basically have never forgiven myself for it as it was my dream to be in the Navy. I have come to the realisation that this is at the crux of my depression as I can't forgive myself and move on.

Made an absolute mess of my life I have and suffering for it now.
 
Blue Cheese said:
Made an absolute mess of my life I have and suffering for it now.
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Interesting mate, and what I'm about to say is not meant flippantly - we all make mistakes in life and we all create disappointments for ourselves.

As you very clearly realise it's how you deal with those disappointments that determine their effect.

You can't change the past, but your can shape the future (I'm not saying this is easy, but it can be done).

Wherever you are in life it's more important what you do today and tomorrow than what you did yesterday in terms of determining your future.

If you can draw a line on the past, and create a series of small, achievable steps to take. Once you've achieved those you can set more meaningful (and challenging) targets.

Good that you've opened up here though mate, that's a positive as others will confirm. Hope the above is useful. Good luck.
 
The Esk said:
Interesting mate, and what I'm about to say is not meant flippantly - we all make mistakes in life and we all create disappointments for ourselves.

As you very clearly realise it's how you deal with those disappointments that determine their effect.

You can't change the past, but your can shape the future (I'm not saying this is easy, but it can be done).

Wherever you are in life it's more important what you do today and tomorrow than what you did yesterday in terms of determining your future.

If you can draw a line on the past, and create a series of small, achievable steps to take. Once you've achieved those you can set more meaningful (and challenging) targets.

Good that you've opened up here though mate, that's a positive as others will confirm. Hope the above is useful. Good luck.
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Thanks mate, I finally thought I'd arrived at a stage where I could let it all go. This new apprenticeship in Engineering was supposed to be a fresh start. No sooner did I get my new job my neck started playing up and I had to be off work, turns out I have arthritis in every disc in my neck(I'm 42), then I go back to work and get diagnosed with diabetes. Now I've been off since July with depression, I've only been there a year and a half.

In my head I'm replaying what happened 20+ years ago, albeit different circumstances; In such as I got a job that I thought would see me until retirement and now I'm worried that I'll lose it, this time through health reasons.

Yet I'm still anxious as hell about going back tomorrow.
 
Blue Cheese said:
Thanks mate, I finally thought I'd arrived at a stage where I could let it all go. This new apprenticeship in Engineering was supposed to be a fresh start. No sooner did I get my new job my neck started playing up and I had to be off work, turns out I have arthritis in every disc in my neck(I'm 42), then I go back to work and get diagnosed with diabetes. Now I've been off since July with depression, I've only been there a year and a half.

In my head I'm replaying what happened 20+ years ago, albeit different circumstances; In such as I got a job that I thought would see me until retirement and now I'm worried that I'll lose it, this time through health reasons.

Yet I'm still anxious as hell about going back tomorrow.
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Sounds easy, but you have to take one step at a time. You can't worry about how your health is going to affect you in 5, 10 or 20 years, you have to focus on the immediate future.

I don't know enough about UK employment law and your circumstances to give advice on your rights but are there people in your place of employment you can talk to?
 

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