Hi all! Hope everyone's doing well (or as well as it can be for each)!
Just dropping in to say hi, as a frequent past-poster in here and want to... um, I dunno how to put it really. It's going to sound like a brag, in a way, but I want you all to know that this is not how it is intended, but as a help or encouragement, maybe, for everyone.
So, basically, back in ages ago when this thread was started I shared that I went to therapy and it was honestly a very eye-opening experience the first time (I lived in Scotland at the time).
Well, I didn't post here at the time much, but a few years ago I came back home, then got in a relationship with a girl who I thought was amazing for me at the time. The intimate times were great, and the partying was amazing, but emotionally she wasn't what I was looking for and I didn't know it at the time. She also brought back my old alcohol habits through partying, which was horrible, looking back.
When we broke up (for various reasons that are not important to this... story) - it devastated me. I had moved from my hometown to the capital city (Sofia) to start a "new life" here in a way, and had landed a job that didn't value me for me and I never piped up cuz I was too afraid to lose it, so this was horrible to myself.
Well, so, as I said, we broke up. Devastated, I looked for a therapist here again, and through word of mouth from the most unexpected person who I was an ass to before, I found a very, very good one. This was the actual eye opening experience that gave me the confidence to... try, you know? With that, I managed to get a promotion, of sorts, even though the money was still not enough for the work required.
As quite some time had passed, I got back into dating slowly, didn't really go well (for my confidence), but I managed to find a fantastic young woman who was 'all that'... online. By pure chance I had to move in with her, but at the same time I got in the process and eventually bought an apartment here, which without her support I'd have never even looked for in the first place. This was exactly when the pandemic hit our country btw, ironically Friday the 13th of February, 2020 lol when I started the buying process.
Well, through her encouraging me and feeling in general better since this - I barged my way into a better position at my now-old job. It paid... moderately well. Without giving away actual figures, it was roughly the average for the country, but not really a lot, still, compared to colleagues and work required. Well, in order to better myself, I got both of us to enlist in learning a programming language, and started looking for a job, without telling really anyone except the gf.
Now, this is pure chance what happens next, but I get it down to me having more confidence to try things - a now-ex-colleague of mine came up to me one day and basically said "hey so you're good with computers, my husband's looking for a junior at his job, wanna try" and I jumped on the chance for an interview. Well, without wanting to, again, say too much - I am now a broadcasting sysadmin for a huge media company here on the Balkans, for just about double my previous pay, which can only go up from here. I know money's not everything, but financial stability also feels... weird and new to me, but in a good way. This is also almost a stress-free job (relative to my previous one), where I get to learn new things almost on the daily (or hangout with famous people lol )
Regarding the apartment btw - we moved in a few days before Christmas, so that went as un-smoothly as possible and with SOOOOOOOOOO many delays, but we're here now lol I also learned a lot about doing stuff so there's good in that.
Basically, I just wanted to write that out as a success story, of sorts, so far. None of it was easy to do, none of it was extremely comfortable and I had to get out of my comfort zone for most of it - therapy, asking for a raise, online dating (we met through Tinder of all places), changing jobs, buying an actual apartment, etc. What I want to portray here as a feeling is that of... motivation, hopefully, for someone reading this. That it's not all horrible, that it will get better, but it will also take time and effort. I (and likely all of you) am still carrying my 'shadow' at times, but you have to shine back on it. You will find a way to find that shine source, whatever it may be, and use it as much as you can, as long as it betters yourself and doesn't harm you.
I don't want this to sound like I'm being rude towards someone's situation or anything like that, and I know everyone's situation is vastly different, but I want you all to want to try. That's it, just try. Do it for someone else, do it for something else, do it for a dog or a person or a car or whatever puts a smile on your face, but do it the most for you, as you're the most important!
Ages ago I posted here that there's a very apt acronym for the situation that a lot of us find ourselves in - H.O.P.E. - Hold On, Pain Ends. This is a reiteration of me finding out the same for myself, in a way. And it only took more than a decade, literally, to find out some things about myself.
Also it comes without saying, but if anyone wants an (electronic) ear to sound out things to, DM's are open and all!
Just dropping in to say hi, as a frequent past-poster in here and want to... um, I dunno how to put it really. It's going to sound like a brag, in a way, but I want you all to know that this is not how it is intended, but as a help or encouragement, maybe, for everyone.
So, basically, back in ages ago when this thread was started I shared that I went to therapy and it was honestly a very eye-opening experience the first time (I lived in Scotland at the time).
Well, I didn't post here at the time much, but a few years ago I came back home, then got in a relationship with a girl who I thought was amazing for me at the time. The intimate times were great, and the partying was amazing, but emotionally she wasn't what I was looking for and I didn't know it at the time. She also brought back my old alcohol habits through partying, which was horrible, looking back.
When we broke up (for various reasons that are not important to this... story) - it devastated me. I had moved from my hometown to the capital city (Sofia) to start a "new life" here in a way, and had landed a job that didn't value me for me and I never piped up cuz I was too afraid to lose it, so this was horrible to myself.
Well, so, as I said, we broke up. Devastated, I looked for a therapist here again, and through word of mouth from the most unexpected person who I was an ass to before, I found a very, very good one. This was the actual eye opening experience that gave me the confidence to... try, you know? With that, I managed to get a promotion, of sorts, even though the money was still not enough for the work required.
As quite some time had passed, I got back into dating slowly, didn't really go well (for my confidence), but I managed to find a fantastic young woman who was 'all that'... online. By pure chance I had to move in with her, but at the same time I got in the process and eventually bought an apartment here, which without her support I'd have never even looked for in the first place. This was exactly when the pandemic hit our country btw, ironically Friday the 13th of February, 2020 lol when I started the buying process.
Well, through her encouraging me and feeling in general better since this - I barged my way into a better position at my now-old job. It paid... moderately well. Without giving away actual figures, it was roughly the average for the country, but not really a lot, still, compared to colleagues and work required. Well, in order to better myself, I got both of us to enlist in learning a programming language, and started looking for a job, without telling really anyone except the gf.
Now, this is pure chance what happens next, but I get it down to me having more confidence to try things - a now-ex-colleague of mine came up to me one day and basically said "hey so you're good with computers, my husband's looking for a junior at his job, wanna try" and I jumped on the chance for an interview. Well, without wanting to, again, say too much - I am now a broadcasting sysadmin for a huge media company here on the Balkans, for just about double my previous pay, which can only go up from here. I know money's not everything, but financial stability also feels... weird and new to me, but in a good way. This is also almost a stress-free job (relative to my previous one), where I get to learn new things almost on the daily (or hangout with famous people lol )
Regarding the apartment btw - we moved in a few days before Christmas, so that went as un-smoothly as possible and with SOOOOOOOOOO many delays, but we're here now lol I also learned a lot about doing stuff so there's good in that.
Basically, I just wanted to write that out as a success story, of sorts, so far. None of it was easy to do, none of it was extremely comfortable and I had to get out of my comfort zone for most of it - therapy, asking for a raise, online dating (we met through Tinder of all places), changing jobs, buying an actual apartment, etc. What I want to portray here as a feeling is that of... motivation, hopefully, for someone reading this. That it's not all horrible, that it will get better, but it will also take time and effort. I (and likely all of you) am still carrying my 'shadow' at times, but you have to shine back on it. You will find a way to find that shine source, whatever it may be, and use it as much as you can, as long as it betters yourself and doesn't harm you.
I don't want this to sound like I'm being rude towards someone's situation or anything like that, and I know everyone's situation is vastly different, but I want you all to want to try. That's it, just try. Do it for someone else, do it for something else, do it for a dog or a person or a car or whatever puts a smile on your face, but do it the most for you, as you're the most important!
Ages ago I posted here that there's a very apt acronym for the situation that a lot of us find ourselves in - H.O.P.E. - Hold On, Pain Ends. This is a reiteration of me finding out the same for myself, in a way. And it only took more than a decade, literally, to find out some things about myself.
Also it comes without saying, but if anyone wants an (electronic) ear to sound out things to, DM's are open and all!
