Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Gwladysover]

Got stood up today. Talked to someone online, we then swapped numbers, and messaged non stop for the past week.
Agreed to meet up for a pub lunch today locally around 4pm. Last message was last night around ten just confirming arrangement. Didn't hear anything this morning or afternoon, but didn't panic as everything was arranged.
I got there (after a 40min walk) a bit early, so dropped her a text just saying I've grabbed a table, can I get you a drink? No response.
Got to the meeting time, so text her again asking if we were still meeting and had she been delayed. Nothing again.
By this time my stomach had gone and I felt utterly terrible just sat there in a pub all by myself, knowing she wasn't turning up.
Luckily I rang my friend and he calmed me down whilst I finished my drink. Checked the site we met on before I left, and her profile has disappeared, meaning a block. It now appears she blocked me, before I'd even left mine, on all platforms. I'm wondering was it all a setup and she had no intention of meeting or has something happened overnight. I'll never know cos I'll never hear from her again.
I've mentioned on here I suffer with anxiety and struggle to meet new people, so this experience has left me feeling absolutely dreadful and I can't get this out of head, mainly cos I have no idea what the hell happened.

So sorry you have had such an unpleasant experience. I have no experience of online dating as it is way after my time but don’t let it put you off. You sound like a lovely bloke and some lady some day is going to be glad she met you.?

 

[Gwladysover]

I lost my best friend last night, My Dad, "say hello to dixie for me dad when you're up there" I love you.

So sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you and your family.?

 

[Sassy Colombian]

I lost my best friend last night, My Dad, "say hello to dixie for me dad when you're up there" I love you.

I’m sorry about the lost of your dad. May the pain of no having your best friend by your side eases with time.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

@Donegal blue so sorry to hear about your Dad. Sending love to you and your family x

 

[Delta Blue]

Gary Speed was a hero of mine. Not only was he a true Blue but he was a Welsh Legend as well.
the problem we have as men is that it’s classed as being Weak to show emotion. Well bollox to that. I’ve been to counselling and I don’t care who knows it. Had PTSD after an incident in 2014. the counsellor was amazing. A little blonde haired lady from New Zealand who swore like a trooper. My advice to anyone who is suffering is to talk.
Interesting link below of a 6ft 7 Copper who suffered.
doesn’t matter how big you are.

COYB.

 

[Earwigjoe]

I lost my best friend last night, My Dad, "say hello to dixie for me dad when you're up there" I love you.

Sympathies a chara, my Dad was my best friend too. We're lucky and blessed to have had them. If we can be half as good as them as parents we'll have done a good job. ??

 

[Earwigjoe]

Same to you Kit. I hope I don't sound " preachy, holier than thou " because I'm certainly not but as a Catholic Easter and Christa's are very very thought provoking times of the year for me. The real " meaning " of both holidays are lost on a lot of people. A very simple man died a horrible death TRYING to teach each other to be more thoughtfull and kind towards one another and that message is lost, misconstrued for lavishing gifts on one another and giving confectionary to people is hardly symbolic of an understanding of what " IT " is supposed to be about. Have often wondered if Jesus has ever taken the time to walk among us, to see how we are doing ? Somewhat rhetorical question perhaps ?

By the way, I include myself in the above, I'm certainly no different but speaking for myself, as I get older " wiser ? " , I hope and yes, strive to keep simple and humble. A few cigars, some nice food on occasions and seeing my family happy is what makes me happy. I hope everyone has a peaceful Easter, and experiences peace of mind.

Apologies in advance for the " religious " tone of this post.

No need to apologise @Spotty, God born man because he loved us and was hated and despised because of that love for us, suffered like a man because of us, even having a mental breakdown in Gethsemane because of us. Beaten and killed because he loved us. Better than chocolate and candy. Human race hasnt moved much unfortunately - still hating what they dont understand and cant control. Hope yous had a great Easter. God bless brother. Keep on appreciating and loving that wonderful family of yours

 

[Spotty]

No need to apologise @Spotty, God born man because he loved us and was hated and despised because of that love for us, suffered like a man because of us, even having a mental breakdown in Gethsemane because of us. Beaten and killed because he loved us. Better than chocolate and candy. Human race hasnt moved much unfortunately - still hating what they dont understand and cant control. Hope yous had a great Easter. God bless brother. Keep on appreciating and loving that wonderful family of yours

Lovely thoughtfull post. " Having a breakdown in Gethsemane... ". Thought about this the other day when watching " King of Kings ". He knew what was coming, knew he had to face it and was scared. Heartbreaking.

Have often wondered how we as humans manage to find the strength in very very trying times to continue. A great example is those poor soldiers who were asked to go " over the top " during 1st World War. What would we be thinking in the moments before we heard those whistles to start moving. My grandad who was in the war said the the things that stuck with him the most was men who had been shot, or where dying and asking for their mothers. Heartbreaking.

 

[BluePaul86]

Thanks for all the kind comments guys. Bit of an update, got a text 2 days later, saying she'd gone down south to help out a friend and in her own word's 'gave no consideration to some guy she'd never met and that I'd meet someone who wasn't as much of *insert bad word her* than she was'.
Wasn't an apology just seemed like something she felt she had to do. Basically she left me sat in a pub by myself for an hour, whilst she was the other side of the country ignoring my texts. Lucky escape methinks. Thanks again though, the kind comments really do help and give me comfort.

 

[edge]

Thanks for all the kind comments guys. Bit of an update, got a text 2 days later, saying she'd gone down south to help out a friend and in her own word's 'gave no consideration to some guy she'd never met and that I'd meet someone who wasn't as much of *insert bad word her* than she was'.
Wasn't an apology just seemed like something she felt she had to do. Basically she left me sat in a pub by myself for an hour, whilst she was the other side of the country ignoring my texts. Lucky escape methinks. Thanks again though, the kind comments really do help and give me comfort.

It was lucky ascape mate , she sounds like the type of person who only thinks about herself and her own feelings.
Wouldn't have taken a minute to say sorry something has come up and not leave you hanging.
Not worth getting involved with at all.
Never done online dating , but I can imagine you will meet some nice people and some selfish one's as well like in any other setting.
It's no reflection on you, she is the one who has lost out.
Move on , and find a nice person.
Don't lose faith on yourself because of her, she isn't worth a second thought.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

It was lucky ascape mate , she sounds like the type of person who only thinks about herself and her own feelings.
Wouldn't have taken a minute to say sorry something has come up and not leave you hanging.
Not worth getting involved with at all.
Never done online dating , but I can imagine you will meet some nice people and some selfish one's as well like in any other setting.
It's no reflection on you, she is the one who has lost out.
Move on , and find a nice person.
Don't lose faith on yourself because of her, she isn't worth a second thought.

Good advice my man Edge.

Would rather find out now than when you're married with kids.

 

[edge]

?Good advice my man Edge.

Would rather find out now than when you're married with kids.

I know from experience sadly I did exactly that?
Never wish my kids away though , so some good can come out of the worst of decisions.

 

[witchdoc187]

Got stood up today. Talked to someone online, we then swapped numbers, and messaged non stop for the past week.
Agreed to meet up for a pub lunch today locally around 4pm. Last message was last night around ten just confirming arrangement. Didn't hear anything this morning or afternoon, but didn't panic as everything was arranged.
I got there (after a 40min walk) a bit early, so dropped her a text just saying I've grabbed a table, can I get you a drink? No response.
Got to the meeting time, so text her again asking if we were still meeting and had she been delayed. Nothing again.
By this time my stomach had gone and I felt utterly terrible just sat there in a pub all by myself, knowing she wasn't turning up.
Luckily I rang my friend and he calmed me down whilst I finished my drink. Checked the site we met on before I left, and her profile has disappeared, meaning a block. It now appears she blocked me, before I'd even left mine, on all platforms. I'm wondering was it all a setup and she had no intention of meeting or has something happened overnight. I'll never know cos I'll never hear from her again.
I've mentioned on here I suffer with anxiety and struggle to meet new people, so this experience has left me feeling absolutely dreadful and I can't get this out of head, mainly cos I have no idea what the hell happened.

Mate it happens all the time on tinder at least to me. Don't let it knock your confidence mate there's loads of people on there who just like the attention. My mate drove 40 miles to meet someone last week. She's really pretty and the guy did exactly the same. It's happened to me a few times. It's nothing to do with you at all mate or anything you've done. I suffer from anxiety too. It isn't nice. Best of luck to you mate but don't feel bad for other people's rubbish reactions. I've found a website over here called meetup. It does social events for people like us who might not know many people in the area check something like that out. Good way of meeting people.

 

[witchdoc187]

Got stood up today. Talked to someone online, we then swapped numbers, and messaged non stop for the past week.
Agreed to meet up for a pub lunch today locally around 4pm. Last message was last night around ten just confirming arrangement. Didn't hear anything this morning or afternoon, but didn't panic as everything was arranged.
I got there (after a 40min walk) a bit early, so dropped her a text just saying I've grabbed a table, can I get you a drink? No response.
Got to the meeting time, so text her again asking if we were still meeting and had she been delayed. Nothing again.
By this time my stomach had gone and I felt utterly terrible just sat there in a pub all by myself, knowing she wasn't turning up.
Luckily I rang my friend and he calmed me down whilst I finished my drink. Checked the site we met on before I left, and her profile has disappeared, meaning a block. It now appears she blocked me, before I'd even left mine, on all platforms. I'm wondering was it all a setup and she had no intention of meeting or has something happened overnight. I'll never know cos I'll never hear from her again.
I've mentioned on here I suffer with anxiety and struggle to meet new people, so this experience has left me feeling absolutely dreadful and I can't get this out of head, mainly cos I have no idea what the hell happened.

Here’s a line from Seneca: “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” Meaning, we spend so much time worried about how bad things are going to be, that we actually torture ourselves more than the thing we’re worried about ever could (that is, if it happens at all).

This is from the daily stoic a website I registered on with this sort of stuff on it. It's really helped me. (Though hasn't stopped me biting my nails at night ?)

Stay strong mate there are many of us suffering the same. Pm me if you like m8

 

[wgtwiddle]

Here’s a line from Seneca: “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” Meaning, we spend so much time worried about how bad things are going to be, that we actually torture ourselves more than the thing we’re worried about ever could (that is, if it happens at all).

This is from the daily stoic a website I registered on with this sort of stuff on it. It's really helped me. (Though hasn't stopped me biting my nails at night ?)

Stay strong mate there are many of us suffering the same. Pm me if you like m8

Worryingly, the imagination is astonishingly strong and powerful.

Seems to me that our imaginative abilities dwarf the intellect by orders of magnitude.