Divorce help

[Bilko]

Bit late mate to this, no matter what get legal advice, I'm guessing your head is all over the place, The amount of times I hear we're still great friends. That isn't often the case, your emotional and my advice is get somebody away from the drama to look after your welfare.
Tough time ahead mate, you do come through it though, best of luck.

 

[Little Ralphy]

Bit late mate to this, no matter what get legal advice, I'm guessing your head is all over the place, The amount of times I hear we're still great friends. That isn't often the case, your emotional and my advice is get somebody away from the drama to look after your welfare.
Tough time ahead mate, you do come through it though, best of luck.

Cheers mate, I can’t say we’re great friends at the minute. More drama today with her trying to wind me up over stuff. But I kept calm and just noted it all down afterwards. Wasn’t easy like, she obviously knows me well enough to know what winds me up. One of my kids has already said to me ‘Mummy said not to tell you but…’. Which can’t be a good sign. Luckily I have a great relationship with the kids, so hopefully that continues.

 

[Gwladys St. Glory]

Cheers mate, I can’t say we’re great friends at the minute. More drama today with her trying to wind me up over stuff. But I kept calm and just noted it all down afterwards. Wasn’t easy like, she obviously knows me well enough to know what winds me up. One of my kids has already said to me ‘Mummy said not to tell you but…’. Which can’t be a good sign. Luckily I have a great relationship with the kids, so hopefully that continues.

They can't compete with us physically, so mental irritation is their forte.

 

[coollino]

Sorry to hear this, and I hope you are OK and coping as well as you can. There are support networks available if you are not, and don't be too scared to admit it.

Do you have any idea what it is that she wants to get out of it? I would note down all that she is claiming that she is due. Don't claim anything for yourself, yet. Her immediacy in claims of what she is due before any formal process could, with the right judge, come across as premeditated. Any arguments in which she says "Ill take you to the cleaners" or similar, record them. Don't tell her what you want, certainly don't say what she can have, but have a clear idea of what your red lines are. What are you ready to fight tooth and nail for?

The truth is, only you will figure this out, and you will. The worst days are yet to come, but the best ones will follow.

My friend was divorced recently after about 12 years. He thought everything was over, he admitted some pretty dark thoughts. His life is better now that it ever was. He's met a new life partner, he's sorted an acceptable and fair agreement with his ex-wife and the 3 kids. He's in a really good place.

It may be difficult to see now, but the future is bright, and it is for the VAST majority of divorced Men. You've got this. Go well.

Recordings shouldn't be relied on at all, as they are only used as evidence if the judge allows them. In a fairly normal case they more than likely won't allow as the other side will be able to put a decent arguement against them being used and will just take up more time

I'm pretty sure written things, including WhatsApps etc, can be use no problem tho so if someone 'bad' is written in one a screen shot of that would be worth a lot

 

[Piijt]

One thing I would advise. Once the divorce is finalised, never ever set up a direct debit to pay her monthly. Send a monthly transfer instead and stay in control.

Despite the court ruling, my ex used to mess me around with access to my daughter. A week or two delay with the money every time she played her games eventually made her stop.

 

[Jacko93]

Recordings shouldn't be relied on at all, as they are only used as evidence if the judge allows them. In a fairly normal case they more than likely won't allow as the other side will be able to put a decent arguement against them being used and will just take up more time

I'm pretty sure written things, including WhatsApps etc, can be use no problem tho so if someone 'bad' is written in one a screen shot of that would be worth a lot

By record, I never meant audio recording, just make a record of it taking place. Anything to show frequency and/or intent may help.

 

[NilSatisOptimum]

Cheers mate, I can’t say we’re great friends at the minute. More drama today with her trying to wind me up over stuff. But I kept calm and just noted it all down afterwards. Wasn’t easy like, she obviously knows me well enough to know what winds me up. One of my kids has already said to me ‘Mummy said not to tell you but…’. Which can’t be a good sign. Luckily I have a great relationship with the kids, so hopefully that continues.

Sounds like you are doing sterling job in keeping calm which will be important for the kids until all is finalised with divorce...
If you can, be that through employer/Union own insurance/monies, don't rule out some therapy to support you through this problem until its solved.

 

[coollino]

By record, I never meant audio recording, just make a record of it taking place. Anything to show frequency and/or intent may help.

fair enough, i knew someone who thought recording audio would work and the obvious hole in the whole thing is 'but what did you say before you started to record at that very moment to make yourself look the good one'