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Divorce help

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Buckers said:
Mate I know exactly how you feel, what you described sounds exactly like what happened to me. I tried everything til she was six then lost contact for about 4/5 years then we tried to restart things but to be honest the damage was done. I saw her off and on for a year or two then. Nothing til she was 16. Since then it’s been maybe once/twice a year. We are in contact still but so much damage was done that our relationship is pretty superficial. I just desperately wanted it to work so kept going back only for them to ditch me, seemed to keep happening over and over, left me an emotional wreck. It’s what holds me back now, I just can’t commit properly anymore after being hurt so much.

There’s been times when we lost contact all I felt was relief and then overwhelming guilt for feeling relieved. All because it was me that decided to break up with her mum. A woman scorned……..

I hope you at least manage to find peace with it all if nothing else. Sorry you’ve had to go through that mate.
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Yo buckers hope you are well tonight.
 
Little Ralphy said:
Anyone been through a divorce in the UK?

Where did you find help etc. I’ve seen a few sites but everything for men seems to ask for money upfront and everything for women is free!

It’s also mostly about getting access to the kids but I shouldn’t have an issue with that part hopefully.

Anyone who has been through it able to offer any guidance where I could find out information etc please? Or anyone get good help from somewhere and could point me in that direction?

Feels like the mrs is walking around the house with a calculator, threatening me with all sorts. All the financial burden appears to be on me. Is this always the case?
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Haven't been divorced myself, but two very close friends of mine have. One of them now lives with us because his wife got the house and threw thousands of pounds at the court in order to make sure he only gets the kids 3 nights a week... As this is less than 50/50, the Child Maintenance Service have ordered him to pay nearly a £1000 a month to her (ongoing), making it impossible for him to rent anywhere in our area. Oh, and he's still on the mortgage of their house so can't get credit anywhere.

My other mate is in a slightly less awful position but he just got a pay rise and his ex-wife is now demanding that his monthly payments to her should go up. She too took the house in the original settlement.

Get a Solicitor. Get the best one you can afford. Do it today. You need to get 50/50 child access otherwise you'll get hit for maintenance.
 


Bruce Wayne said:
I'm going through one at the moment. We're trying to be as amicable as possible through it all, as we both appreciate that as soon as things get nasty the only people that gain from it are the lawyers.
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This is so true!

The one i enquired about first ws £360 per hour

Ive actually found one that is £260

*weeps
 
Been through it.
Don't believe half the stuff you hear, it's bent towards the woman.
If your in a union they offer free advice used to be An hour or 30 with a solicitor firm that was doing union work, can cover family matters
Some employers offer something similar.
Try and sort what you can before you get to a solicitors door as everything they do will cost you.
Have an end game in place , where you will be at the end of it.
I spent a fortune trying to get my kids, never had a chance on reality, had letters off the school that I was the main parent ect.
Although it was due to her behaviour, I eventually got a divorce on the grounds of not reasonably being expected to live with her,
but she got the kids house ect?
Her contribution was a lamp ,
I kid you not.
Ended up just getting the access to the kids sorted, gave everything up, took all the loans on and was basically skint for the next few years.
In reality I was never going to say sell up and move the kids out of there home , so no piont fighting about it.
I settled for a fixed monthly sum to keep them , got the days I wanted , did far more in reality and did a clean break on everything else. Pension ect.
best thing I ever did,
she kept coming back for more,
No matter , what I did, so just stopped and said I pay what we agreed.
Great when they all got older and she could live off them anymore.
I gave the kids the money instead and told them to keep quite.
I just said that's the way it is get to fk.
Her mates will tell her all sorts of nonsense.
Sit down , lineup all your aims before you get involved with the solicitors.
Remember no matter what happens now it will get better,
If you have kids dont let them use them as a weapon they deserve better than that.
Don't get bitter , it's a waste of time.
I was terrible hated her with a passion for years.
What a waste of energy that was .
Now we sort off are polite to each other, kids are fine and I am as happy with my life as I have e ever been
.Good luck with it all.
 
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