Drunken Bedwetting

[carlos21]

Disgusting animals

Hiya Tommy.

 

[Jamo Martinez]

I've done everything bar this.

 

[Bungle]

I once staggered into the garden after getting out of the taxi and fell over, so just slept there instead of trying to get up, woke up having shat myself and waddled down the front of the house and lobbed my trousers in the bin before heading in for a shower.

 

[Baileys perm]

Once when my missus was pregnant near full term, working in town and went for what was meant to be a couple of bevies but turned into too many bevies, we started tequilas and after a few there was two of us left I bailed lost count at 12 straight,thought I went home woke up in the morning no clothes on and the sheets were soaked.went down stairs and blamed the missus thought her waters had broke.then I stood there splitting headache and took a mouthful of abuse about howshe kipped on the couch she couldn’t wake me up after stripping naked I stood there laughing pissed against the wall and in her boots fell on the bed and crashed she woke up when her leg felt warm and I was out cold

 

[Nymzee]

Once when my missus was pregnant near full term, working in town and went for what was meant to be a couple of bevies but turned into too many bevies, we started tequilas and after a few there was two of us left I bailed lost count at 12 straight,thought I went home woke up in the morning no clothes on and the sheets were soaked.went down stairs and blamed the missus thought her waters had broke.then I stood there splitting headache and took a mouthful of abuse about howshe kipped on the couch she couldn’t wake me up after stripping naked I stood there laughing pissed against the wall and in her boots fell on the bed and crashed she woke up when her leg felt warm and I was out cold

Bloody good effort that.

 

[klingklang]

Three stories and all 100% genuine.
1 Me and a mate on holiday in Ibiza back in the 80's, met 2 girls and went back to their apartment. He gets up for a burst and proceeded to pee into one girls handbag which contained her money and passport !
2 Another mate, got caught short and tried to make it home unfortunately he didn't make it and shat his kecks, ran through the house into the garden and decided to hose his jeans down. Forgetting his phone was in his pocket, resulting in a ruined phone !
3 Finally the worst or best depending on your viewpoint. Lad I knew was that pissed, he got up to pee, couldn't open the wardrobe ! so pissed in the cot all over his baby son !!! His Mrs threw him out for about 2 weeks for that. I have too many bad friends.

 

[Kurt.]

Worst I’ve ever done is roll the mother in law down the street wrapped in a carpet and pushed her into the canal


Or something

 

[Blue 1]

Never pissed the bed drunk, but i did piss in my friend's mixer and nearly electrocuted myself one Sunday afternoon after being on the sesh since Thursday night. Came to mid-piss being dragged away from it by the owner of said mixer.

Not my finest hour I gotta say.

The mixer survived and worked perfectly OK once disinfected.

 

[Bedfordblue]

Wetting the bed is for lightweights.
If you don’t go full ‘code brown’ after 15-20 pints, have you even had a night out?

 

[Ferguson1878]

1990s, 2 E’s later and a load of whisky, pissed me kex twice at somebody’s house. Once on the floor, second time in the bed.

Must of been something I ate.

Used to get the opposite off them things me , felt like you were dying for a burst but nothing would come out

 

[PhilM]

I can honestly say this has never happened to me ….. know loads of my mates who e done it though … and in wardrobes, drawers etc

Never in my own house, but I once pissed in a plant pot of some girl I was 'seeing' in my late teens. In fact, I pissed in her dad's sock draw, too.

 

[alwaysblue]

I've had some embarrassing moments over the years. Wardrobes mainly. Nothing too bad.

An ex-colleague used to pee his kecks at the bar if the queue for the toilet was too big. Just stood there whilst the map of Africa was developing at his feet. Which would dry off then he would do it again.

Another guy (an Aussie can't hold their liquor @cronullasharks ) whilst we were working away we had a very heavy night. Went to knock on him to go in the following morning. He opened up the door and a god awful smell slapped me across the face. He stood there dishevelled in a crap covered blanket and said 'mate I'm crook'.
My reply was 'damn right your crook, there's poo in the bed in the sink it's everywhere. I'll go on in on my own mate, see you later.'
He was highly embarrassed until he spoke to other chaps that it had happened to. Proudly wore it like a badge of honour after, bloody Aussies.

 

[Kurt.]

I've had some embarrassing moments over the years. Wardrobes mainly. Nothing too bad.

An ex-colleague used to pee his kecks at the bar if the queue for the toilet was too big. Just stood there whilst the map of Africa was developing at his feet. Which would dry off then he would do it again.

Another guy (an Aussie can't hold their liquor @cronullasharks ) whilst we were working away we had a very heavy night. Went to knock on him to go in the following morning. He opened up the door and a god awful smell slapped me across the face. He stood there dishevelled in a crap covered blanket and sofa 'mate I'm crook'.
My reply was 'damn right your crook, there's poo in the bed in the sink it's everywhere. I'll go on in on my own mate, see you later.'
He was highly embarrassed until he spoke to other chaps that it had happened to. Proudly wore it like a badge of honour after, bloody Aussies.

I did have to duck into some bushes in the local park one night as I had a bad bad case of the squits … had to use my underwear and socks to try and clean myself up but I swear I was stinking when I got home… straight into the shower

 

[JimmyJeffers]

Twice but never in the uk. Once in a hostel in LA and I swapped sheets with the German lad in the top bunk when he nipped out and once in a guesthouse in Cambodia where somehow there was also a piss trail all over the wall right above my bed as well.

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

Fortunately never. Have drunkenly vomited in my sleep and woke up to find I'd rolled over into it and it was all in my hair (a long time ago and I grew it long). One grim hangover, but the forced shower helped no end. Quite lucky, could have choked.

Got a mate who blatantly pissed the bed in his bedsit, but tried to make out he spilt tea on it. Tea don't smell like that mate.