Group winners
Barcelona (ESP, Group B)
Bayern München (GER, E)
Borussia Dortmund (GER, A)
Juventus (ITA, H)
Manchester City (ENG, F)
Paris Saint-Germain (FRA, C)
Porto (POR, D)
Real Madrid (ESP, holders, G)
Group runners-up
Ajax (NED, E)
Atlético Madrid (ESP, A)
Liverpool (ENG, C)
Lyon (FRA, F)
Manchester United (ENG, H)
Roma (ITA, G)
Schalke (GER, D)
Tottenham Hotspur (ENG, B)
Them horrible gets can draw any of the teams in bold. So obviously they'll get Porto, then Schalke will spawn their way into the next round and they'll draw them next. Then Barca will get them in the semis only to bottle it in the return leg at Anfield and once again they'll find themselves in the final.
Give them Juventus next round please. For Spurs, they can have PSG please, or even Barca who will demolish them with any team that isn't their C team like the last game. Give City the easiest team as to help them maintain a good challenge for the domestic league title.