Lads, was on my way home from town this morning and this Rolls Royce pulled up, as I looked through the half open window of the rear passenger seat, to catch a glance at the occupant, an half eaten greggs steak bake was violently thrown at me.
A piece of the steak came flying out from its beautiful pastry casing, it caught me in my right cheek. It was like hot lava, a piece of flank steak searing through my beautiful face. The juices from this steak bake had partially blinded me.
I was distraught and temporarily blinded, the car door opened and I started wildly swinging in the hope and hitting my perpetrator. It was in vain, alas I was struck from behind and lay motionless on the floor.
As I crawled like a wounded animal away from the vicious assault I managed to gain my vision, I turned, and standing by the car was an older gentleman. He had grey hair, a real fat face and holding and what looked like a theatre program for something called “blood brothers”, as he entered the car he yelled obscenities at me before peering his face through the half opened window and yelling “and I was in Corrie ye nobhead”
And help in finding this man, I would be in your debt for life.