If that 46 cents refund doesn't hit my account in the next 10 minutes I'm taking 2 biscuits from them.
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Former Everton Centre Forward Duncan Ferguson steps into management.....
- Thread starter The Penalty Box Dancer
- Start date
JimmyJeffers
Player Valuation: £70m
Mon you Sweaty Dollies!
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
News in, that they're not even real biscuits but disco ones. No idea what they're doing but the people who didn't get their flights aren't complaining* now and they're even having a bit of a party there at Dollingstown International Airport.
*Apart for the Wardair 23:55 Fylde who are a right miserable bunch.
JimmyJeffers
Player Valuation: £70m
Worst airline going. Couldn’t even get a window chimney.
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
50-50 on hijacks too.
JimmyJeffers
Player Valuation: £70m
kin unacceptable lad!
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
Mind you better than Forest Green Airways with their recycled cardboard planes running on vegan kerosene with Greta Thuneburg doing the safety presentation.
But the food's decent if you bring your own sausages and gravy to beef it up.
JimmyJeffers
Player Valuation: £70m
Spotted Thumberg with a face full of gravy, eating a steak and hawk pie round the back of the toilets at Salford away once.
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
Just woke up in Swindon on @chrismpw's barge. No idea how I ended up here from Dollingstown International Airport but here I am. Just wanna get a few more hours shut eye but can hear someone shouting something about the BBC and Dr Who.
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
Glentoran vs Dollingstown
4th August 2037
26 time winners Glentoran got off to a poor start losing 4-0 to Crusaders on opening day but will now be aiming to get their first win with the visit of newly promoted Dollingstown. There was no changes for Dollingstown from the team that won on Saturday and Henderson was confident his team could go to Belfast on Tuesday night and bring something home. Dollingstown knew it was going to be backs against the wall tonight and Henderson set his team up to face that, Dollingswood did counter on 6 minutes through Striker Jimmy Boyd and he he won his side a throw-in deep inside the opposition half. Teggart got the ball into the box and Boyd went up for the header, he was brought down with an elbow and the referee awarded Dollingstown the penalty! 32 year old David Kee will take it, he sends the keeper the wrong way and slots it coolly! David Kee puts Dollingstown in front! Simon Young tried to take the ball through the defence on 14 minutes and lost out, the ball was played forward to Will Barry who got goal side and beat Mackle to make it 1-1. It was seconds from half-time and Gardiner took the ball 25 yards out from Dickson for Glentoran, he went past Duncan Herron and got to the edge of the box before powering the ball into the top corner, 2-1 before half-time. Duncan Ferguson gave 19 year old Richard O'Connor some words of advice before replacing Duncan Herron for his debut in central midfield. Ryan Reilly replaced Michael Coyle with 20 minutes to go in attack. Henderson took his last throw of the dice bringing on 16 year old Luke Kemp for Jimmy Boyd. Kyle McNally took the ball in defence and urged everyone forward on 91 minutes, he played it wide to Simon Young who likes to run at opposition players, Young went past Woods, tried the pass to Reilly but tiredness got the better of him and Glentoran won the ball back. The game ended and it's Glentoran who pick up their first win of the season. It was a good effort from Dollingstown but Glentoran were much better tonight.
EH: We came here and we played well. They're a very good team and have some good players, the level and commitment from our lads was high and we were unlucky not to make it to half-time at 1-1. We stayed competitive throughout and done well to the final whistle.
PLAYER RATINGS
Dollingstowm vs Linfield
15th August 2037
The players were refreshed ahead of the home game against Linfield and Euan Henderson made no changes to the starting eleven. It was a big game for Dollingstown as Linfield are considered a top team with 59 league titles but their last was 12 years ago. Michael Coyle pumped the ball forward but it was headed away by Anderson, O'Shea picked it up on the left and passed inside to Delaney, he fed the ball through the defence to Coyle and he put it away for his second of the season! The fans are delighted with that one! It was a similar story for Dollingstown as they failed to hold the lead, 12 minutes in and Gary Elliot found the top corner after failing to be closed down. O'Shea took it down from Coyle's long ball and crossed in from the left for Delaney but his header was saved and cleared for a corner. Porter took the corner and Jimmy Boyd won the header but he put it inches wide. Gary Elliott needed to be watched as he got to the ball before Herron and tried a shot from 25 yards which Mackle should have saved but it went through his fingers to make it 2-1. Jimmy Boyd pulled up with a hamstring injury and was replaced by Ryan Reilly on 49 minutes. Linfield had a free-kick and it was whipped into the box for Graham but he was held back by Reilly and the referee gave Linfield the penalty on 72 minutes, a goal would wrap this up and Graham's penalty was saved by Mackle! David Kee took the fre-kick on 79 minutes and Delaney went up for the header but it was O'Shea at the far post who headed home! But the flag went up and the goal was chalked off! Replays show it was the correct call as O'Shea had the advantage. The match was sealed on 83 minutes when Kyle Campbell took the ball from 16 year old Herron and crossed nicely for Kennedy to loop a header over Mackie. Glenn Hughes came on for Herron and went up top in a last ditch attempt. It wasn't to be for Dollingstown as they suffer a second defeat in a row. Henderson and Ferguson kept the lads heads up at full-time but the performance was sloppy albeit against better opposition. It's a big step up for Dollingstown to the Premiership but there is fight in them and they can do well if they work hard for 90 minutes.
PLAYER RATINGS
SUMMER TRANSFER WINDOW UPDATE
Warrenpoint Town vs Dollingstown
18th August 2037
It was a trip down South to Warrenpoint to play Warrenpoint Town who came up with Dollingstown last season. Andrew Mulholland was straight into the side playing with Kyle McNally in central defence. There wasn't many in attendance on this summer's evening and only a handful of Dollingstown supporters made the trip. It was the third minute of the match when Duncan Herron committed a foul in the box to bring down Graham and awarded Warrenpoint a penalty. McGuinness took the penalty and went down the middle beating Mackle. Dollingstown came out attacking and Coyle went close when he got onto the second ball and the keeper turned his shot behind, McNally went up for the corner and headed just wide of the post from the set-piece. Teggart linked up with O'Shea down the left and Teggart crossed towards the far post, Simon Young blazed it over from close range, what a chance. Mulholland chased down the ball and played it back feebly to Mackle in goal but Elliott got in and slotted to double Warrenpoint's lead on 58 minutes. Four minutes later Warrenpoint were running riot on the counter and Wright set up Maguire to curl one into the bottom left corner to make it three. Porter played a long ball forward and Boyd took it down well, only the keeper to beat and he hits the crossbar. It's a terrible defeat for Dollingstown, the tactics were all wrong and the passing was terrible. Two chances against the woodwork but they got picked apart too easily and suffered a third consecutive defeat.
DF: We'll turn it around, there's time. We tried something a bit different and tried to press when out of possession but it didn't suit us here and we got taught a lesson. The recent results have not been good enough and we know we have a fight on our hands this season.
PLAYER RATINGS
Portadown vs Dollingstown
22nd August 2037
Portadown manager Jonathan Anderson was born in Italy but spent the first few years of his professional career at Everton so the 35 year old manager knows about the Dollingstown Assistant Manager Duncan Ferguson and his time at the club. Four games in and Dollingstown were second bottom in the table where an away win would lift them towards mid-table. Henderson didn't seem to be a manager to make erratic changes and when asked about his team selection he stated players must be allowed time to gel together especially as many have come through the ranks and are still inexperienced at first team level. New signing Andrew Mulholland didn't have the best of debuts but he kept his place in the side and David Kee moved into central midfield operating as a defensive midfielder. Mackle launched the goal kick upfield and Coyle headed it to Simon Young on the right wing, he crossed low into the box and it fell to Jimmy Boyd, he took a punt and it was tipped behind by Irwin. David Kee was quick at getting to loose balls in midfield and he started the attack playing it wide to Young on 42 minutes, Young took a look and sent a fizzing ball into the box that was perfect for O'Shea to volley with his left foot across the keeper and in! It will be a long second half if Dollingstown try to hold on to this lead. Portadown played the ball forward and Smith went up for it but Mulholland collided with him and the referee awarded them a penalty. O'Connor took the kick keeping it low into the bottom left and made it 1-1 with 30 minutes to play. There was a minute of stoppage time to play and Ben Smith kicked it into the Dollingstown area, Mackle went to collect it but hesitated and it allowed Noel Morton to come and slot to win the match for Portadown! An unbelievable error and the players have their heads in their hands. Seconds remained and substitute O'Hara came down the right for Dollingstown, he was fouled and it allowed them to move up the pitch. David Kee knew it was the last chance and he played a great ball into the area , Andrew Muholland headed towards goal and put it over the bar, that was it.
EH: So many points dropped and late in the game, we need to keep our heads in the game and stay focused. It's costing us too many points and if we carry on losing matches from winning positions, we're going to be in real trouble before long.
PLAYER RATINGS
4th August 2037
=
26 time winners Glentoran got off to a poor start losing 4-0 to Crusaders on opening day but will now be aiming to get their first win with the visit of newly promoted Dollingstown. There was no changes for Dollingstown from the team that won on Saturday and Henderson was confident his team could go to Belfast on Tuesday night and bring something home. Dollingstown knew it was going to be backs against the wall tonight and Henderson set his team up to face that, Dollingswood did counter on 6 minutes through Striker Jimmy Boyd and he he won his side a throw-in deep inside the opposition half. Teggart got the ball into the box and Boyd went up for the header, he was brought down with an elbow and the referee awarded Dollingstown the penalty! 32 year old David Kee will take it, he sends the keeper the wrong way and slots it coolly! David Kee puts Dollingstown in front! Simon Young tried to take the ball through the defence on 14 minutes and lost out, the ball was played forward to Will Barry who got goal side and beat Mackle to make it 1-1. It was seconds from half-time and Gardiner took the ball 25 yards out from Dickson for Glentoran, he went past Duncan Herron and got to the edge of the box before powering the ball into the top corner, 2-1 before half-time. Duncan Ferguson gave 19 year old Richard O'Connor some words of advice before replacing Duncan Herron for his debut in central midfield. Ryan Reilly replaced Michael Coyle with 20 minutes to go in attack. Henderson took his last throw of the dice bringing on 16 year old Luke Kemp for Jimmy Boyd. Kyle McNally took the ball in defence and urged everyone forward on 91 minutes, he played it wide to Simon Young who likes to run at opposition players, Young went past Woods, tried the pass to Reilly but tiredness got the better of him and Glentoran won the ball back. The game ended and it's Glentoran who pick up their first win of the season. It was a good effort from Dollingstown but Glentoran were much better tonight.
EH: We came here and we played well. They're a very good team and have some good players, the level and commitment from our lads was high and we were unlucky not to make it to half-time at 1-1. We stayed competitive throughout and done well to the final whistle.
PLAYER RATINGS
Dollingstowm vs Linfield
15th August 2037
=
The players were refreshed ahead of the home game against Linfield and Euan Henderson made no changes to the starting eleven. It was a big game for Dollingstown as Linfield are considered a top team with 59 league titles but their last was 12 years ago. Michael Coyle pumped the ball forward but it was headed away by Anderson, O'Shea picked it up on the left and passed inside to Delaney, he fed the ball through the defence to Coyle and he put it away for his second of the season! The fans are delighted with that one! It was a similar story for Dollingstown as they failed to hold the lead, 12 minutes in and Gary Elliot found the top corner after failing to be closed down. O'Shea took it down from Coyle's long ball and crossed in from the left for Delaney but his header was saved and cleared for a corner. Porter took the corner and Jimmy Boyd won the header but he put it inches wide. Gary Elliott needed to be watched as he got to the ball before Herron and tried a shot from 25 yards which Mackle should have saved but it went through his fingers to make it 2-1. Jimmy Boyd pulled up with a hamstring injury and was replaced by Ryan Reilly on 49 minutes. Linfield had a free-kick and it was whipped into the box for Graham but he was held back by Reilly and the referee gave Linfield the penalty on 72 minutes, a goal would wrap this up and Graham's penalty was saved by Mackle! David Kee took the fre-kick on 79 minutes and Delaney went up for the header but it was O'Shea at the far post who headed home! But the flag went up and the goal was chalked off! Replays show it was the correct call as O'Shea had the advantage. The match was sealed on 83 minutes when Kyle Campbell took the ball from 16 year old Herron and crossed nicely for Kennedy to loop a header over Mackie. Glenn Hughes came on for Herron and went up top in a last ditch attempt. It wasn't to be for Dollingstown as they suffer a second defeat in a row. Henderson and Ferguson kept the lads heads up at full-time but the performance was sloppy albeit against better opposition. It's a big step up for Dollingstown to the Premiership but there is fight in them and they can do well if they work hard for 90 minutes.
PLAYER RATINGS
SUMMER TRANSFER WINDOW UPDATE
Warrenpoint Town vs Dollingstown
18th August 2037
=
It was a trip down South to Warrenpoint to play Warrenpoint Town who came up with Dollingstown last season. Andrew Mulholland was straight into the side playing with Kyle McNally in central defence. There wasn't many in attendance on this summer's evening and only a handful of Dollingstown supporters made the trip. It was the third minute of the match when Duncan Herron committed a foul in the box to bring down Graham and awarded Warrenpoint a penalty. McGuinness took the penalty and went down the middle beating Mackle. Dollingstown came out attacking and Coyle went close when he got onto the second ball and the keeper turned his shot behind, McNally went up for the corner and headed just wide of the post from the set-piece. Teggart linked up with O'Shea down the left and Teggart crossed towards the far post, Simon Young blazed it over from close range, what a chance. Mulholland chased down the ball and played it back feebly to Mackle in goal but Elliott got in and slotted to double Warrenpoint's lead on 58 minutes. Four minutes later Warrenpoint were running riot on the counter and Wright set up Maguire to curl one into the bottom left corner to make it three. Porter played a long ball forward and Boyd took it down well, only the keeper to beat and he hits the crossbar. It's a terrible defeat for Dollingstown, the tactics were all wrong and the passing was terrible. Two chances against the woodwork but they got picked apart too easily and suffered a third consecutive defeat.
DF: We'll turn it around, there's time. We tried something a bit different and tried to press when out of possession but it didn't suit us here and we got taught a lesson. The recent results have not been good enough and we know we have a fight on our hands this season.
PLAYER RATINGS
Portadown vs Dollingstown
22nd August 2037
=
Portadown manager Jonathan Anderson was born in Italy but spent the first few years of his professional career at Everton so the 35 year old manager knows about the Dollingstown Assistant Manager Duncan Ferguson and his time at the club. Four games in and Dollingstown were second bottom in the table where an away win would lift them towards mid-table. Henderson didn't seem to be a manager to make erratic changes and when asked about his team selection he stated players must be allowed time to gel together especially as many have come through the ranks and are still inexperienced at first team level. New signing Andrew Mulholland didn't have the best of debuts but he kept his place in the side and David Kee moved into central midfield operating as a defensive midfielder. Mackle launched the goal kick upfield and Coyle headed it to Simon Young on the right wing, he crossed low into the box and it fell to Jimmy Boyd, he took a punt and it was tipped behind by Irwin. David Kee was quick at getting to loose balls in midfield and he started the attack playing it wide to Young on 42 minutes, Young took a look and sent a fizzing ball into the box that was perfect for O'Shea to volley with his left foot across the keeper and in! It will be a long second half if Dollingstown try to hold on to this lead. Portadown played the ball forward and Smith went up for it but Mulholland collided with him and the referee awarded them a penalty. O'Connor took the kick keeping it low into the bottom left and made it 1-1 with 30 minutes to play. There was a minute of stoppage time to play and Ben Smith kicked it into the Dollingstown area, Mackle went to collect it but hesitated and it allowed Noel Morton to come and slot to win the match for Portadown! An unbelievable error and the players have their heads in their hands. Seconds remained and substitute O'Hara came down the right for Dollingstown, he was fouled and it allowed them to move up the pitch. David Kee knew it was the last chance and he played a great ball into the area , Andrew Muholland headed towards goal and put it over the bar, that was it.
EH: So many points dropped and late in the game, we need to keep our heads in the game and stay focused. It's costing us too many points and if we carry on losing matches from winning positions, we're going to be in real trouble before long.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
chrismpw
Player Valuation: £70m
Shhhhhhh little piggy. Go back to sleep! Thats right. Shhhhhh!
HELP
We're a bit crap. Dollingstown aren't we.