Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
This motivational poster has me firing.
Henderson, despite our worst start in history/ lack of tactics/ half rate players/ shocking fitness levels, has me convinced that he's the man for the job!
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Former Everton Centre Forward Duncan Ferguson steps into management.....
- Thread starter The Penalty Box Dancer
- Start date
Henderson, despite our worst start in history/ lack of tactics/ half rate players/ shocking fitness levels, has me convinced that he's the man for the job!
I do like his pre match ritual of pistol whipping the players before they run out on to the pitch. The majority of them reckon playing semi-concussed and with a mixture of smashed facial bones and teeth keep them focused for 90 minutes.
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
Dollingstown vs Glentoran
3rd October 2037
Jimmy Boyd returned to action after serving his suspension for violent conduct. Jimmy acknowledged his behaviour and admitted he lost his head and felt frustrated with the lack of chances being created. Luke Walker started the match at left back after impressing Euan Henderson last time out. It was all too easy for Glentoran's Gardiner and the challenge from Delaney was poor, he skipped past and drove the ball low to make it 1-0 on 7 minutes. Another poor start for Dollingstown. Luke Walker went off on 33 minutes after looking tired so Kyle McNally moved to left back and 16 year old Barry Ewart went into defence. Ferguson crossed into the box for Neill on 44 minutes and Mulholland was adjudged to have obstructed him, the referee awarded Glentoran the penalty just before half-time. Ferguson took the penalty placing it to Mackle's left into the corner. 2-0 and it could be the game. Eric Ferguson was allowed space dowm the right again, he crossed into the box and Anderson tapped it in at the near post. With 30 minutes to go, Henderson brought on Luke Kemp for Duncan Herron and pushed the 16 year old to play behind the Strikers. Kemp done well to win the ball from Niel and he took the ball to the opposition box, he ran out of steam and was eventually tackled. It was a bad day for Dollingstown and they were poor throughout the 90 minutes.
EH: The team is inexperienced and it's showing, there's no replacement for hard work ad the lads are giving it their best. We knew it was going to be tough to compete this season but we aren't giving up. In two weeks we will go again and leave it all out there on the pitch.
PLAYER RATINGS
Harland and Wolff Welders vs Dollngstown
17th October 2037
It was the most anticipated match between 11th and 12th. Dollingstown started the season beating H&W Welders 2-1 on opening day and an away win for The Dollybirds would see them go two points above. David Kee was back from injury starting on the bench and Luke Kemp started in attack with Jimmy Boyd, Michael Coyle was on the bench.
EH: That was a huge lift, yes we scored from the spot but they all count, we were under pressure for large parts of the match but we defended well and Mackle made good saves. Overall, I'm very pleased.
PLAYER RATINGS
Linfield vs Dollingstown
27th October 2037
Henderson went with a midfield pairing of Thomas Delaney and David Kee and Michael Coyle and Luke Kemp started in attack in the 4-4-2 formation. 4th placed Linfield got off to a good start when Dollingstown poor clearance allowed McCrory space to take a shot that trickled in past Mackle making it 1-0 on 6 minutes. Simon Young used his experience to drive his team forward on 12 minutes, a great pass into Coyle but his shot was saved low by the keeper. Kyle McNally threw his body on the line to block the shot but Miskimmin retrieved it and Kyle Campbell pulled away to receive it, then teeing it off for Elliot to strike to make it 2-0, poor goalkeeping and poor closing down from Dollingstown. Anderson came forward trying for number three when Delaney executed a great tackle, Kemp got it wide to O'Shea and he played the long ball for Coyle who came back to Walker. It was good play from Dollingstown making good passes and showing good movement. O'Shea got it in space on the left and took a look up, he played the ball in for Simon Young and he blasted past the keeper to pull a goal back for Dollingstown on 37 minutes! Dollingstown kept the score to 2-1 defending for their lives at Windsor Park. The Dollybirds put in a worthy display but couldn't find the equaliser with Jimmy Boyd entering the fray on 85 minutes. They remain in 11th place for now but the gap closes to one point with Harland and Wolff Welders getting a point at Coleraine.
PLAYER RATINGS
Dollingstown vs Warrenpoint
31st October 2037
Johnny McGurgan entered the rehabilitation phase for his broken ankle. The club physio expects McGurgan to be fully training in January 2038. The last encounter ended in a 3-0 victory for Warrenpoint but the team were winless in their last six. Henderson kept the same team that were beaten by Linfield due to not having depth in the squad but there were options from the bench in the form of Jimmy Boyd and Ryan Reilly. Dollingstown moved the ball round well, all players working hard for each other, Kee knocked it forward for Coyle who took a touch then shot just inches wide on 18 minutes. Delaney and Kee were battling in midfield winning the ball back at every opportunity. Jimmy Boyd came on for the last half an hour or so replacing Michael Coyle. It was a solid defensive performance from Dollingstown but tiredness was creeping in. The news came through that Harland and Wolff Welders turned it around to 2-1 after being down 1-0 to Ballymena United. It was a good display from Dollingstown but the result will not mean as much due to Harland and Wolff Welders getting their first win of the season.
EH: We kept our shape well and battled for possession and managed to keep the ball well at times. Duncan gave the half-time team talk and it really inspired the lads, they went out with renewed energy and fought hard to the whistle.
PLAYER RATINGS
3rd October 2037
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Jimmy Boyd returned to action after serving his suspension for violent conduct. Jimmy acknowledged his behaviour and admitted he lost his head and felt frustrated with the lack of chances being created. Luke Walker started the match at left back after impressing Euan Henderson last time out. It was all too easy for Glentoran's Gardiner and the challenge from Delaney was poor, he skipped past and drove the ball low to make it 1-0 on 7 minutes. Another poor start for Dollingstown. Luke Walker went off on 33 minutes after looking tired so Kyle McNally moved to left back and 16 year old Barry Ewart went into defence. Ferguson crossed into the box for Neill on 44 minutes and Mulholland was adjudged to have obstructed him, the referee awarded Glentoran the penalty just before half-time. Ferguson took the penalty placing it to Mackle's left into the corner. 2-0 and it could be the game. Eric Ferguson was allowed space dowm the right again, he crossed into the box and Anderson tapped it in at the near post. With 30 minutes to go, Henderson brought on Luke Kemp for Duncan Herron and pushed the 16 year old to play behind the Strikers. Kemp done well to win the ball from Niel and he took the ball to the opposition box, he ran out of steam and was eventually tackled. It was a bad day for Dollingstown and they were poor throughout the 90 minutes.
EH: The team is inexperienced and it's showing, there's no replacement for hard work ad the lads are giving it their best. We knew it was going to be tough to compete this season but we aren't giving up. In two weeks we will go again and leave it all out there on the pitch.
PLAYER RATINGS
Harland and Wolff Welders vs Dollngstown
17th October 2037
=
It was the most anticipated match between 11th and 12th. Dollingstown started the season beating H&W Welders 2-1 on opening day and an away win for The Dollybirds would see them go two points above. David Kee was back from injury starting on the bench and Luke Kemp started in attack with Jimmy Boyd, Michael Coyle was on the bench.
EH: That was a huge lift, yes we scored from the spot but they all count, we were under pressure for large parts of the match but we defended well and Mackle made good saves. Overall, I'm very pleased.
PLAYER RATINGS
Linfield vs Dollingstown
27th October 2037
=
Henderson went with a midfield pairing of Thomas Delaney and David Kee and Michael Coyle and Luke Kemp started in attack in the 4-4-2 formation. 4th placed Linfield got off to a good start when Dollingstown poor clearance allowed McCrory space to take a shot that trickled in past Mackle making it 1-0 on 6 minutes. Simon Young used his experience to drive his team forward on 12 minutes, a great pass into Coyle but his shot was saved low by the keeper. Kyle McNally threw his body on the line to block the shot but Miskimmin retrieved it and Kyle Campbell pulled away to receive it, then teeing it off for Elliot to strike to make it 2-0, poor goalkeeping and poor closing down from Dollingstown. Anderson came forward trying for number three when Delaney executed a great tackle, Kemp got it wide to O'Shea and he played the long ball for Coyle who came back to Walker. It was good play from Dollingstown making good passes and showing good movement. O'Shea got it in space on the left and took a look up, he played the ball in for Simon Young and he blasted past the keeper to pull a goal back for Dollingstown on 37 minutes! Dollingstown kept the score to 2-1 defending for their lives at Windsor Park. The Dollybirds put in a worthy display but couldn't find the equaliser with Jimmy Boyd entering the fray on 85 minutes. They remain in 11th place for now but the gap closes to one point with Harland and Wolff Welders getting a point at Coleraine.
PLAYER RATINGS
Dollingstown vs Warrenpoint
31st October 2037
=
Johnny McGurgan entered the rehabilitation phase for his broken ankle. The club physio expects McGurgan to be fully training in January 2038. The last encounter ended in a 3-0 victory for Warrenpoint but the team were winless in their last six. Henderson kept the same team that were beaten by Linfield due to not having depth in the squad but there were options from the bench in the form of Jimmy Boyd and Ryan Reilly. Dollingstown moved the ball round well, all players working hard for each other, Kee knocked it forward for Coyle who took a touch then shot just inches wide on 18 minutes. Delaney and Kee were battling in midfield winning the ball back at every opportunity. Jimmy Boyd came on for the last half an hour or so replacing Michael Coyle. It was a solid defensive performance from Dollingstown but tiredness was creeping in. The news came through that Harland and Wolff Welders turned it around to 2-1 after being down 1-0 to Ballymena United. It was a good display from Dollingstown but the result will not mean as much due to Harland and Wolff Welders getting their first win of the season.
EH: We kept our shape well and battled for possession and managed to keep the ball well at times. Duncan gave the half-time team talk and it really inspired the lads, they went out with renewed energy and fought hard to the whistle.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
Would’ve been fuming if that penalty had been given against us but just look what it means to the Dollywood faithful.
Scenes.
UTFDB’s
Scenes.
UTFDB’s
The win against that drunken mob of boilermakers H&W Welders was coincidentally when Hendo was told to stay away from the club for a week when he was caught filling empty Salbumatol inhalers with Lynx Africa bodyspray.
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
Northern Irish Mid Ulster Cup First Round draw
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Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
Tasty. Other than the Qatari Oreo Cup, I can't think of a domestic cup that rivals the Mid Ulster in terms of prestige and old school glamour.
NeroCeasar
Player Valuation: £8m
Bang of inevitability about Dunc taking over from EH off this tbh
JimmyJeffers
Player Valuation: £70m
Sure I can remember hearing a story about Jimmy Krankie visiting Dollywood?
toffee82
Player Valuation: £25m
January 2038 and Nicola Sturgeon is still attempting to hoist the Scottish Independence trophy.
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
I'll think you find we norn iron fans have never taken an interest in any sort of politics.
UTFDB!
JimmyJeffers
Player Valuation: £70m
Lovely to see the owner tie the knot with a season ticket holder