Ward for some reason thought it was his own mother splattering turds down his chimney so returned the favour. Idiot got stuck on the roof and had to be rescued by the fire brigade. She was not happy obviously.
Former Everton Centre Forward Duncan Ferguson steps into management.....
- Thread starter The Penalty Box Dancer
- Start date
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
MK Dons vs AFC Fylde
19th Mach 2039
The team news was in and with Craddock injured, Bytheway started on the right wing. Henderson went with two Centre Forwards in Thomas and Hill. The fans saw this match as a must-win otherwise they could fall too far behind the play-of places going into the business end of the season. On the 25 minute mark, Stuart Kay pulled off a moment of magic when his right footed free-kick glided over the wall and into the back of the net to give MK Dons the lead. MK Dons were dominant in the first half but the defence were doing well to keep the score at 1-0. The second half started brighter for Fylde, Henderson and Ferguson both vocal on the touchline. Jay Preece had a chance with a free-kick on 54 minutes and he converted it! Jay Preece runs away cuppimg his ears as his side hit back! The news filtered into the away end that Wrexham had equalised against Ipswich and the roar went up for The Coasters. The ball came down the left fro Hakeem to Moffatt, it found it's way in the box and Hill took a shot which was saved. Johnson went for the follow-up and that was blocked, Thomas had a go, it fell to Dan Carey who put it on his left foot and smashed it into the gaping net! 2-1 for Fylde! Persistence has paid off! The match went into stoppage time and concentration was required from the Fylde back line. Molyneux picked up the loose ball and it was one against three. Rawlings was on the overlap and took the ball, he played it into the box and it evaded everyone. Fylde made it through and pick up a massive three points!
EH: The first half we looked too cautious, second we were more brave and came out after going a goal behind. We fought back and took the points despite a big showing from MK. Ipswich beat Wrexham but we keep on their tails and we have our own job to do.
PLAYER RATINGS
AFC Fylde vs Chesterfield
26th March 2039
What a game this was as both sides sat on 61 points in 7th and 8th respectively. It had the feel of another must-win game for Fylde to try to narrow that gap on the teams in the play-offs. Patrick Craddock was back in the team after a recent minor injury and Stewart Milby was back for selection and made the bench after a four month absence. Chesterfield were on a good run and were fighting for another season in The Championship after their one season in 2031/32. The two sides go back to their days in the National league when Danny Rowe scored in a 2-0 away win in 2018. Craddock came forward in the first minute and Thomas pulled wide, he took the ball on the left and Bytheway was sprinting through the middle, it came to Bytheway but he sliced it wide. Grant Thomas dropped deep to take the pass and played in Moffatt, it has to be.....and he slotted it low to make it 1-0 on 23 minutes! Kirk Hartley played the ball forward for Ralph and he held off Hakeem as he slotted cooly into the bottom left corner on 28 minutes. It's all to play for at Mill Farm! Hasani sent in the cross to the far post, Moffatt held off Hartley at the far post and the referee awarded a penalty to Chesterfield. Hasani took the penalty and Breacker guessed the right way but he couldn't keep it out. Stuart Greene came on for Vince Bytheway with less than half an hour to go. Fylde got caught high up the pitch and Hartley came forward, he took a shot which was saved and Shane Ralph got his second of the game and put Chesterfield in a very good position. Chesterfield win the game and it's heads in hands for Fylde.
EH: Let's just talk about the game and not about our league position. We gave away a soft penalty, it looked fine to me but these decisions change the game dynamics and look what happened. Shane Ralph had a great game today and he has a good future in the game. We didn't create enough chances and Danny Ings got his game plan right, they hit us on the break, quick and it hurt us.
PLAYER RATINGS
Bristol Rovers vs AFC Fylde
2nd April 2039
Six games to go in League One starting with 22nd place Bristol Rovers who were six points from safety. Fylde need as many points as they can get and hope for slip ups from Ipswich, Southend and Chesterfield. Henderson surprised fans with Craddock being dropped for David Hill. Davuid Hill made an immediate impression when he stole the ball from Slinn and was free down the right, he played it into Thomas who had the whole goal to shoot at and he put it wide, what a chance. Bytheway worked hard to win the ball outside the box and passed forward to Thomas, he looked up and from the edge of the box curled the ball into the bottom right corner! Billingham beat Hakeem for the ball and was away down the right wing, he crossed into the box, Boakye headed and Breacker saved but Billingham equalised on 36 minutes. Kennerdale replaced Moffatt who seemed to be carrying an injury and Craddock replaced Hill as Henderson looked for fresh attacking ideas in the second half. Francis Johnson came closest when he hit the bar from the edge of the box on 65 minutes. Craddock got into the box and played the ball into the six yard box for Vince Bytheway to make it 2-1, what a crucial goal that is! With 8 minutes to go Bristol Rovers tried their luck and it paid off, Billingham crossed towards the back post and what should have been a routine clearance for Hakeem saw Lyons-Mayman win the header and beat Breacker to level once again. With a minute of normal time to go, Johnson brought Hakeem into the attack down the left, he crossed in and Craddock headed just over the bar. Bristol Rovers took the sting out of the game and it was frustrating for Fylde, Tom Slinn slid the ball through to Lyons-Mayman and he put it past Breacker to win the match for Bristol Rovers. The home fans were loving it and it was sheer devastation for Fylde.
EH: It's gutting, it's hard to take and we are four points off the play-offs. Ipswich got beat and it would have saw us a point behind if we won. As far as our season goes, I think that's it. We're too far behind and we only have five games left to play. It's not negative, we have to be realistic. We are hoping teams above us love twice and we have Brentford next who are on course to win the league. They are going to want to do that at the Community Stadium next weekend.
PLAYER RATINGS
19th Mach 2039
=
The team news was in and with Craddock injured, Bytheway started on the right wing. Henderson went with two Centre Forwards in Thomas and Hill. The fans saw this match as a must-win otherwise they could fall too far behind the play-of places going into the business end of the season. On the 25 minute mark, Stuart Kay pulled off a moment of magic when his right footed free-kick glided over the wall and into the back of the net to give MK Dons the lead. MK Dons were dominant in the first half but the defence were doing well to keep the score at 1-0. The second half started brighter for Fylde, Henderson and Ferguson both vocal on the touchline. Jay Preece had a chance with a free-kick on 54 minutes and he converted it! Jay Preece runs away cuppimg his ears as his side hit back! The news filtered into the away end that Wrexham had equalised against Ipswich and the roar went up for The Coasters. The ball came down the left fro Hakeem to Moffatt, it found it's way in the box and Hill took a shot which was saved. Johnson went for the follow-up and that was blocked, Thomas had a go, it fell to Dan Carey who put it on his left foot and smashed it into the gaping net! 2-1 for Fylde! Persistence has paid off! The match went into stoppage time and concentration was required from the Fylde back line. Molyneux picked up the loose ball and it was one against three. Rawlings was on the overlap and took the ball, he played it into the box and it evaded everyone. Fylde made it through and pick up a massive three points!
EH: The first half we looked too cautious, second we were more brave and came out after going a goal behind. We fought back and took the points despite a big showing from MK. Ipswich beat Wrexham but we keep on their tails and we have our own job to do.
PLAYER RATINGS
AFC Fylde vs Chesterfield
26th March 2039
=
What a game this was as both sides sat on 61 points in 7th and 8th respectively. It had the feel of another must-win game for Fylde to try to narrow that gap on the teams in the play-offs. Patrick Craddock was back in the team after a recent minor injury and Stewart Milby was back for selection and made the bench after a four month absence. Chesterfield were on a good run and were fighting for another season in The Championship after their one season in 2031/32. The two sides go back to their days in the National league when Danny Rowe scored in a 2-0 away win in 2018. Craddock came forward in the first minute and Thomas pulled wide, he took the ball on the left and Bytheway was sprinting through the middle, it came to Bytheway but he sliced it wide. Grant Thomas dropped deep to take the pass and played in Moffatt, it has to be.....and he slotted it low to make it 1-0 on 23 minutes! Kirk Hartley played the ball forward for Ralph and he held off Hakeem as he slotted cooly into the bottom left corner on 28 minutes. It's all to play for at Mill Farm! Hasani sent in the cross to the far post, Moffatt held off Hartley at the far post and the referee awarded a penalty to Chesterfield. Hasani took the penalty and Breacker guessed the right way but he couldn't keep it out. Stuart Greene came on for Vince Bytheway with less than half an hour to go. Fylde got caught high up the pitch and Hartley came forward, he took a shot which was saved and Shane Ralph got his second of the game and put Chesterfield in a very good position. Chesterfield win the game and it's heads in hands for Fylde.
EH: Let's just talk about the game and not about our league position. We gave away a soft penalty, it looked fine to me but these decisions change the game dynamics and look what happened. Shane Ralph had a great game today and he has a good future in the game. We didn't create enough chances and Danny Ings got his game plan right, they hit us on the break, quick and it hurt us.
PLAYER RATINGS
Bristol Rovers vs AFC Fylde
2nd April 2039
=
Six games to go in League One starting with 22nd place Bristol Rovers who were six points from safety. Fylde need as many points as they can get and hope for slip ups from Ipswich, Southend and Chesterfield. Henderson surprised fans with Craddock being dropped for David Hill. Davuid Hill made an immediate impression when he stole the ball from Slinn and was free down the right, he played it into Thomas who had the whole goal to shoot at and he put it wide, what a chance. Bytheway worked hard to win the ball outside the box and passed forward to Thomas, he looked up and from the edge of the box curled the ball into the bottom right corner! Billingham beat Hakeem for the ball and was away down the right wing, he crossed into the box, Boakye headed and Breacker saved but Billingham equalised on 36 minutes. Kennerdale replaced Moffatt who seemed to be carrying an injury and Craddock replaced Hill as Henderson looked for fresh attacking ideas in the second half. Francis Johnson came closest when he hit the bar from the edge of the box on 65 minutes. Craddock got into the box and played the ball into the six yard box for Vince Bytheway to make it 2-1, what a crucial goal that is! With 8 minutes to go Bristol Rovers tried their luck and it paid off, Billingham crossed towards the back post and what should have been a routine clearance for Hakeem saw Lyons-Mayman win the header and beat Breacker to level once again. With a minute of normal time to go, Johnson brought Hakeem into the attack down the left, he crossed in and Craddock headed just over the bar. Bristol Rovers took the sting out of the game and it was frustrating for Fylde, Tom Slinn slid the ball through to Lyons-Mayman and he put it past Breacker to win the match for Bristol Rovers. The home fans were loving it and it was sheer devastation for Fylde.
EH: It's gutting, it's hard to take and we are four points off the play-offs. Ipswich got beat and it would have saw us a point behind if we won. As far as our season goes, I think that's it. We're too far behind and we only have five games left to play. It's not negative, we have to be realistic. We are hoping teams above us love twice and we have Brentford next who are on course to win the league. They are going to want to do that at the Community Stadium next weekend.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
Ffs Coaster, maybe that contract extension should've waited.
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
Relegation form, let alone contract extension form.
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
Brentford vs AFC Fylde
8th April 2039
The first of two fixtures over the Easter weekend and Brentford could edge closer to the title with a win over play-off outsiders Fylde. It was a game Fylde were looking at as another 'cup final' as they sat four points off play-offs. Stewart Milby was involved in a behind closed doors game this week to try to rregain fitness and whilst also scoring in the match he picked up an ankle injury ruling him out for the rest of the season. Ten minutes gone and the ball was played out wide to Craddock, he slotted inside for Bytheway and he struck first time powering it past Bird to make it 1-0 to The Coasters! Against the run of play! It all started with a long ball from Thomas to Craddock. Six minutes later Sean Jordan went long and Thomas was on to it, he beared down on goal and put it into the bottom right corner! His 20th of the season and Fylde are coasting! Three minute later, Craddock ran forward and played it through to Thomas who put it into the bottom right again! It's 3-0 after 20 minutes! What a response from Fylde! Young got into the area for Brentford and Hakeem was seen tussling with him and the referee gave the penalty. Teddy Cottrell took his run-up and went down the middle to grab one back for Brentford before half-time. The Brentford fight back continued on 54 minutes when Liam Clancy's free-kick smashed past Breacker to bring the defecit to one goal. Johnson took the Fylde corner on 58 minutes and it fell to Jordan, he passed it left to Kennerdale and with a sight on goal struck the ball perfectly into the back of the net! 4-2 to Fylde! That was a great strike by Kennerdale! Liam O'Donnell was in space on the right and when he took the pass from Garner, curled the ball into the bottom corner to pull another goal back. It's a seven goal thriller in Brentford! There was devastation for Fylde with ten minutes to go as Marc Garner's long ball found Clancy who got his 15th of the season and shattered Fylde's dreams to make it 4-4! Two minutes later the ball was played down the right for Craddock and he played the ball low towards the near post and the substitute David Hill knocked it in! 5-4 to Fylde! What a game! The news came in on 85 minutes that Gillingham had equalised at Portman Road! Six additional minutes went up at the Community Stadium and Fylde were doing all they could to keep their lead. Brentford took the coner on 95 minutes and after a heart in mouth moment, Sean Jordan cleared for a throw-in. Marc Garner was found in space on the edge of the box and he touched it to Henry Bala who went for goal and beat Breacker to make it 5-5 with 15 seconds to go! What an incredible game we have witnessed, a ten goal thriller! Both sets of players are acknowledging each other after a dramatic and characteristic display.
EH: We played brilliant and to score five at Brentford is a massive achievement. I'm disappointed we lost our lead after looking comfortable but Brentford showed true warrior spirit and they deserved the point just as much as we did. It was an incredible match that doesn't really help our season but we done very well and were very creative.
PLAYER RATINGS
AFC Fylde vs Ipswich Town
11th April 2039
It's another huge game for Fylde and a win would be emphatic but a loss would simply mean another season in League One. Vince Bytheway was struggling with a slight hamstring injury so Stuart Greene got the nod in attacking midfield. The first half passed quite cautiously with no real threat from either side, they looked like they didn't want to expose themselves. There was good news on the stroke of half-time when Dan Carey was shoved in the back by Peter Crowe and he picked up his second yellow card reducing Ipswich to ten men. Fylde used it to their advantage and on 50 minutes Kennerdale crossed to Craddock who knocked it down for Thomas to score once again and put Fylde in front! Kayne Nurse came on for Nick Kennerdale with half an hour to go. The cheers went up when news broke of Plymouth beating Chesterfield. It was a moment of disbelief for Fylde when Jack Green's excellent pass found Kurtis Nash who scored his 23rd of the season and brought Fylde back down to earth but there were still ten minutes to go. Craddock crossed into the box and Thomas won the header but the keeper caught it. Ipswich were slowing the game down in the last few minutes. Seconds remained, Nurse played it forward and Craddock went for the volley which cannoned back off the crossbar! It's all over, Fylde will be disappointed with themselves. Henderson is on the pitch applauding the supporters as they look on in disbelief. That could be it, but there is the slightest of chances for Fylde with three games to go.
EH: We are all feeling the pain after these two games in which we were so close to a maximum six points. It would have put us in a great position but we have to focus on what we can do in the remaining games.
PLAYER RATINGS
8th April 2039
=
The first of two fixtures over the Easter weekend and Brentford could edge closer to the title with a win over play-off outsiders Fylde. It was a game Fylde were looking at as another 'cup final' as they sat four points off play-offs. Stewart Milby was involved in a behind closed doors game this week to try to rregain fitness and whilst also scoring in the match he picked up an ankle injury ruling him out for the rest of the season. Ten minutes gone and the ball was played out wide to Craddock, he slotted inside for Bytheway and he struck first time powering it past Bird to make it 1-0 to The Coasters! Against the run of play! It all started with a long ball from Thomas to Craddock. Six minutes later Sean Jordan went long and Thomas was on to it, he beared down on goal and put it into the bottom right corner! His 20th of the season and Fylde are coasting! Three minute later, Craddock ran forward and played it through to Thomas who put it into the bottom right again! It's 3-0 after 20 minutes! What a response from Fylde! Young got into the area for Brentford and Hakeem was seen tussling with him and the referee gave the penalty. Teddy Cottrell took his run-up and went down the middle to grab one back for Brentford before half-time. The Brentford fight back continued on 54 minutes when Liam Clancy's free-kick smashed past Breacker to bring the defecit to one goal. Johnson took the Fylde corner on 58 minutes and it fell to Jordan, he passed it left to Kennerdale and with a sight on goal struck the ball perfectly into the back of the net! 4-2 to Fylde! That was a great strike by Kennerdale! Liam O'Donnell was in space on the right and when he took the pass from Garner, curled the ball into the bottom corner to pull another goal back. It's a seven goal thriller in Brentford! There was devastation for Fylde with ten minutes to go as Marc Garner's long ball found Clancy who got his 15th of the season and shattered Fylde's dreams to make it 4-4! Two minutes later the ball was played down the right for Craddock and he played the ball low towards the near post and the substitute David Hill knocked it in! 5-4 to Fylde! What a game! The news came in on 85 minutes that Gillingham had equalised at Portman Road! Six additional minutes went up at the Community Stadium and Fylde were doing all they could to keep their lead. Brentford took the coner on 95 minutes and after a heart in mouth moment, Sean Jordan cleared for a throw-in. Marc Garner was found in space on the edge of the box and he touched it to Henry Bala who went for goal and beat Breacker to make it 5-5 with 15 seconds to go! What an incredible game we have witnessed, a ten goal thriller! Both sets of players are acknowledging each other after a dramatic and characteristic display.
EH: We played brilliant and to score five at Brentford is a massive achievement. I'm disappointed we lost our lead after looking comfortable but Brentford showed true warrior spirit and they deserved the point just as much as we did. It was an incredible match that doesn't really help our season but we done very well and were very creative.
PLAYER RATINGS
AFC Fylde vs Ipswich Town
11th April 2039
=
It's another huge game for Fylde and a win would be emphatic but a loss would simply mean another season in League One. Vince Bytheway was struggling with a slight hamstring injury so Stuart Greene got the nod in attacking midfield. The first half passed quite cautiously with no real threat from either side, they looked like they didn't want to expose themselves. There was good news on the stroke of half-time when Dan Carey was shoved in the back by Peter Crowe and he picked up his second yellow card reducing Ipswich to ten men. Fylde used it to their advantage and on 50 minutes Kennerdale crossed to Craddock who knocked it down for Thomas to score once again and put Fylde in front! Kayne Nurse came on for Nick Kennerdale with half an hour to go. The cheers went up when news broke of Plymouth beating Chesterfield. It was a moment of disbelief for Fylde when Jack Green's excellent pass found Kurtis Nash who scored his 23rd of the season and brought Fylde back down to earth but there were still ten minutes to go. Craddock crossed into the box and Thomas won the header but the keeper caught it. Ipswich were slowing the game down in the last few minutes. Seconds remained, Nurse played it forward and Craddock went for the volley which cannoned back off the crossbar! It's all over, Fylde will be disappointed with themselves. Henderson is on the pitch applauding the supporters as they look on in disbelief. That could be it, but there is the slightest of chances for Fylde with three games to go.
EH: We are all feeling the pain after these two games in which we were so close to a maximum six points. It would have put us in a great position but we have to focus on what we can do in the remaining games.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
FIXTURES
AFC Fylde vs AFC Wimbledon
Fleetwood Town vs Cheltenham Town
Brentford vs Chesterfield
Colchester United vs Ipswich Town
There are huge games in the next week with both Brentford and Colchester vying for the title and automatic promotion. It's another must-win game for Fylde at Mill Farm and anything but a win would end their dreams there.
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
Sinking like a stone. Booooo!
Harryflashman
Player Valuation: £60m
Late goals 
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
AFC Fylde vs AFC Wimbledon
16th April 2039
Vince Bytheway was back for Fylde in another crucial game and possibly their last chance of play-offs. Fylde require the teams around them to lose which is asking for a lot at this stage of the season. Bytheway and Craddock exchanged passes on 5 minutes outside the Wimbledon box, Carey made space and took the ball and unleashed a speculative effort towards goal and put it right in the back of the net! Just the start Fylde need! Francis Johnson had a golden chance to further Fylde's lead on 60 minutes when Kennerdale played a great ball to the far post but the keeper saved well. Grant Thomas brought the ball forward on 88 minutes and passed to Craddock, Fylde had numbers in attack and Kennerdale was in space making his way into the box, the ball was played to him and he skied the chance to settle the match. 91 minutes were on the clock and Hall put the corner into the box, Fylde failed to clear and De-Vulgt knocked it over the line to equalise for Wimbledon and put an end to Fylde's season. There was one last chance for Fylde on 94 minutes, Jay Preece took the free-kick to the back post but it was cleared away, Sean Jordan chased it down and whipped it in first time, it bounced clear of the Wimbledon defence and the roar went up when Kennerdale won the header and it snuck into the bottom corner beating the keeper! Fylde have rescued it late on! Nick Kennerdale keeps the dream alive! It's all over at Mill Farm, Fylde get the much needed three points but are they still in the race for a play-off place?
PLAYER RATINGS
16th April 2039
=
Vince Bytheway was back for Fylde in another crucial game and possibly their last chance of play-offs. Fylde require the teams around them to lose which is asking for a lot at this stage of the season. Bytheway and Craddock exchanged passes on 5 minutes outside the Wimbledon box, Carey made space and took the ball and unleashed a speculative effort towards goal and put it right in the back of the net! Just the start Fylde need! Francis Johnson had a golden chance to further Fylde's lead on 60 minutes when Kennerdale played a great ball to the far post but the keeper saved well. Grant Thomas brought the ball forward on 88 minutes and passed to Craddock, Fylde had numbers in attack and Kennerdale was in space making his way into the box, the ball was played to him and he skied the chance to settle the match. 91 minutes were on the clock and Hall put the corner into the box, Fylde failed to clear and De-Vulgt knocked it over the line to equalise for Wimbledon and put an end to Fylde's season. There was one last chance for Fylde on 94 minutes, Jay Preece took the free-kick to the back post but it was cleared away, Sean Jordan chased it down and whipped it in first time, it bounced clear of the Wimbledon defence and the roar went up when Kennerdale won the header and it snuck into the bottom corner beating the keeper! Fylde have rescued it late on! Nick Kennerdale keeps the dream alive! It's all over at Mill Farm, Fylde get the much needed three points but are they still in the race for a play-off place?
PLAYER RATINGS
Fleetwood Town vs Cheltenham Town
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Brentford vs Chesterfield
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Colchester United vs Ipswich Town
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LEAGUE TABLE
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Next game please chief ?
It's still on Coasters.
Oh for a return to the heady days of a Fylde, minute by minute, playoff thriller.
UTFC
Oh for a return to the heady days of a Fylde, minute by minute, playoff thriller.
UTFC
NeroCeasar
Player Valuation: £8m
Sharpen the harpoons
JimmyJeffers
Player Valuation: £70m
SEX PARTY!
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