Ah but you gotta play the long game. His pasty English skin will not withstand the glorious summer sun here and in another 50-60 years he'll wither away like a prune.
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Former Everton Centre Forward Duncan Ferguson steps into management.....
- Thread starter The Penalty Box Dancer
- Start date
He'll still look better than you puffin 40 a day cron.
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
VINCE BYTHEWAY STEPS DOWN AS MANAGER
This morning Vince Bytheway was notified by chairman Dale Potter that he will no longer be in control of first team affairs and has returned as part of the playing staff. The return of Duncan Ferguson has been on everyone's lips around Kirkham this morning and there are fans gathered at Mill Farm awaiting the arrival of the man himself.
This morning Vince Bytheway was notified by chairman Dale Potter that he will no longer be in control of first team affairs and has returned as part of the playing staff. The return of Duncan Ferguson has been on everyone's lips around Kirkham this morning and there are fans gathered at Mill Farm awaiting the arrival of the man himself.
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
DUNCAN FERGUSON APPOINTED AS MANAGER!
For the third time, we have the privilege to announce Duncan Ferguson as the new manager of Fylde. The 68 year old arrived in a vehicle with chairman Dale Potter this afternoon and has been appointed the new manager of Fylde until the end of the season. The supporters are delighted to see their hero take the hotseat once again as he greeted them from the vehicle and came out to see them for photographs a while later. A press conference has been scheduled and will follow shortly.
For the third time, we have the privilege to announce Duncan Ferguson as the new manager of Fylde. The 68 year old arrived in a vehicle with chairman Dale Potter this afternoon and has been appointed the new manager of Fylde until the end of the season. The supporters are delighted to see their hero take the hotseat once again as he greeted them from the vehicle and came out to see them for photographs a while later. A press conference has been scheduled and will follow shortly.
View outside Mill Lane as fans wait for him to arrive
Duncstock
I believe in years to come this moment will be a much more significant snippet in time than Woodstock. And a lot more drugs being openly consumed thanks to a certain former player and now hard hitting columnist.
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
Wednesday 11th April 2040, Fylde wasted no time in re-introducing manager Duncan Ferguson to the Press with just three days before his first game against Oldham Athletic. Ferguson was beaming with a smile as he took his seat next to club chairman Dale Potter to answer the questions from the press:
Duncan, welcome back to Fylde, it's been a while since you managed this club, I know you was here as an Assistant Manager last season so you already know most of the squad, how do you feel about the immediate challenge that awaits you?
DF: Well, it's not easy is it? We've got a tough game against Oldham who are third and have a chance of going back up, we are at home which is an advantage and we know how important this is to the club and the fans, even myself.
Taking this job when usually you're used to managing at the top end of divisions, how does it feel coming into a relegation fight?
DF: If you do your homework you'll know I've managed Fylde in relegation battles before. League Two and The Championship so I know what's expected. We have to remember that we are in a strong position and are not sat in the relegation zone yet, we can still get out of this by playing football the way the club is known for playing football.
Did you expect to be coming back into management as this late stage of your life?
DF: I expected to be on the beach somewhere but it certainly wasn't Blackpool! I'm not dead yet! I might be 68 but I do feel good and I've not been away from football for too long. The game hasn't changed that much yet and it's something I enjoy. Even when I was retired I was still at Mill Farm and Bramley Moore on a regular basis watching two clubs who mean the world to me.
Oldham are unbeaten in their last six and Fylde have won once in their last six. How do you expect to get a result?
DF: No disrespect to Oldham but I know what this club can do and I know they are not in the right place in the table. This team are much better than this and I believe we can give Oldham a competitive game this weekend.
Duncan, welcome back to Fylde, it's been a while since you managed this club, I know you was here as an Assistant Manager last season so you already know most of the squad, how do you feel about the immediate challenge that awaits you?
DF: Well, it's not easy is it? We've got a tough game against Oldham who are third and have a chance of going back up, we are at home which is an advantage and we know how important this is to the club and the fans, even myself.
Taking this job when usually you're used to managing at the top end of divisions, how does it feel coming into a relegation fight?
DF: If you do your homework you'll know I've managed Fylde in relegation battles before. League Two and The Championship so I know what's expected. We have to remember that we are in a strong position and are not sat in the relegation zone yet, we can still get out of this by playing football the way the club is known for playing football.
Did you expect to be coming back into management as this late stage of your life?
DF: I expected to be on the beach somewhere but it certainly wasn't Blackpool! I'm not dead yet! I might be 68 but I do feel good and I've not been away from football for too long. The game hasn't changed that much yet and it's something I enjoy. Even when I was retired I was still at Mill Farm and Bramley Moore on a regular basis watching two clubs who mean the world to me.
Oldham are unbeaten in their last six and Fylde have won once in their last six. How do you expect to get a result?
DF: No disrespect to Oldham but I know what this club can do and I know they are not in the right place in the table. This team are much better than this and I believe we can give Oldham a competitive game this weekend.
Has the chairman said anything about what is expected of you?
DF: We want to stay up, that's the top and bottom of it. He approached me and asked me whether I would be interested in supporting the club and keep them in the league and I said yes.
What will happen with Vince Bytheway now that he has been asked to step down?
DF: Vince is still under a playing contract here and is part of the squad, Vince is an important part of helping us get the results on the field and is an inspiration as the captain of our club. He tried his hand at management and it was tough for him, it's a big step to come to a club like Fylde in a very competitive league but I know this won't deter Vinnie, he will come back and have another go when his playing days are behind him. I spoke to him earlier and he's gutted about the situation the club finds itself in but we are a great team and we pull together in times like this.
Gasper Galvez is the clubs Assistant Manager, do you have plans to change that?
Not right now, I don't think it's right to change things at this crucial stage of the season.
DF: We want to stay up, that's the top and bottom of it. He approached me and asked me whether I would be interested in supporting the club and keep them in the league and I said yes.
What will happen with Vince Bytheway now that he has been asked to step down?
DF: Vince is still under a playing contract here and is part of the squad, Vince is an important part of helping us get the results on the field and is an inspiration as the captain of our club. He tried his hand at management and it was tough for him, it's a big step to come to a club like Fylde in a very competitive league but I know this won't deter Vinnie, he will come back and have another go when his playing days are behind him. I spoke to him earlier and he's gutted about the situation the club finds itself in but we are a great team and we pull together in times like this.
Gasper Galvez is the clubs Assistant Manager, do you have plans to change that?
Not right now, I don't think it's right to change things at this crucial stage of the season.
Do you have any comments to make to the fans?
DF: Support us, we need you. Bring your banners and flags and bring your voices, we need your support more than ever, stick by us and the team and we will give you our very best and fight for you.
DF: Support us, we need you. Bring your banners and flags and bring your voices, we need your support more than ever, stick by us and the team and we will give you our very best and fight for you.
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
Especially bring that boss getti images banner. Oldham won't know what's going on at all.
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
AFC Fylde vs Oldham Athletic
14th April 2040
The day of the game came round and it was Ferguson's time to shine. With only having three days with the squad, a performance should not be expected but the players should be wanting to impress the new manager and turn on the charm. The team news came through and it was a 4-4-2 formation. Most of us were expecting the successful 4-2-3-1 but Ferguson was going with a different approach. Vince Bytheway was the surprise selection on the right side with Craddock named on the bench and Currie and Thomas got the start up top. The atmosphere was everything we expected and the noise levels were through the roof. The whole stadium was a cauldron of noise and you could feel the red hot atmosphere all around Mill Farm. The players came out the tunnel and when Ferguson emerged the cheers got louder with his name ringing out from all corners of the stadium. Oldham were in for a long afternoon if the atmosphere was anything to go by. Fylde were off to an ok start, not much happening for either side in the first 15 minutes but Oldham found the atmosphere hostile. Bytheway brought the ball down the right on 37 minutes and switched it to Bellairs who nodded it down to Currie but he lost possession and Neville-Spearritt bombed it forward for Oldham, he slipped in Riley who was through on goal and Breacker made a great save to turn it behind. Marc Curry came down the right for Oldham and got the ball into the box which evaded Sean Jordan and Neville-Spearritt was there to slot his 21st goal of the season, on the cusp of half-time. Ferguson made his first change on 56 minutes, Bytheway was replaced by Craddock. Oldham played the long ball into the box and Barrett headed away but it was a poor header, Neville-Spearritt was there and he slotted again to make it 2-0 on 62 minutes. Ferguson was rallying his players as the goal went in, there has to be more from Fylde in this second half. Craddock turned Patrick Uttridge and came forward, he switched the ball at pace to Bellairs who played a one-two with Thomas and slotted at the far post to pull a goal back on 66 minutes! Ferguson made his final two changes with 7 minutes to go, John Hutchinson came on for Smyth and Hill came on for Currie. Bellairs hoofed the ball clear after the Oldham corner and Thomas took it down on the halfway line, Hill was in support and he passed wide to Preece who joined the counter attack, the ball came into the box and Hutchinson was there to level! 2-2! Fylde pulled it back! No! The flag was up for offside, there will be a check on this. The decision was correct, Hutchinson was slightly offisde. The game went into stoppage time, Preece took the ball on the right, he played a one-two with Craddock but it was hoofed clear by Gould. Jordan whacked it forward into the Oldham area, Thomas went up for the header but was dragged down, the fans sceamed for the penalty and it was given! David Hill wanted this one, has he taken a penalty before? 93 minutes on the clock, with a chance to earn Fylde a point. He went top right and Price guessed right! Saved! The whole stadium is stunned! Fylde players are shocked. Ferguson cannot believe it. The final whistle was blown and what drama we have seen here at Mill Farm. What a gallant display from Fylde, they battled hard in the second half and deseved a point from this game but it's Oldham who take all three as they battle on for promotion.
DF: I was screaming to Grant Thomas to take that penalty but he mustn't have wanted it. There was pressure so late in the game but David gave it a go and unfortunately he missed. The performance was an improvement and there was fight today. We lost the game but we gave Oldham something to worry about in the second half. We fought hard at 2-0 down and were unlucky this afternoon.
PLAYER RATINGS
Gillingham vs Cheltenham Town
Southend United vs MK Dons
Charlton Athletic vs Wrexham
LEAGUE TABLE
14th April 2040
=
The day of the game came round and it was Ferguson's time to shine. With only having three days with the squad, a performance should not be expected but the players should be wanting to impress the new manager and turn on the charm. The team news came through and it was a 4-4-2 formation. Most of us were expecting the successful 4-2-3-1 but Ferguson was going with a different approach. Vince Bytheway was the surprise selection on the right side with Craddock named on the bench and Currie and Thomas got the start up top. The atmosphere was everything we expected and the noise levels were through the roof. The whole stadium was a cauldron of noise and you could feel the red hot atmosphere all around Mill Farm. The players came out the tunnel and when Ferguson emerged the cheers got louder with his name ringing out from all corners of the stadium. Oldham were in for a long afternoon if the atmosphere was anything to go by. Fylde were off to an ok start, not much happening for either side in the first 15 minutes but Oldham found the atmosphere hostile. Bytheway brought the ball down the right on 37 minutes and switched it to Bellairs who nodded it down to Currie but he lost possession and Neville-Spearritt bombed it forward for Oldham, he slipped in Riley who was through on goal and Breacker made a great save to turn it behind. Marc Curry came down the right for Oldham and got the ball into the box which evaded Sean Jordan and Neville-Spearritt was there to slot his 21st goal of the season, on the cusp of half-time. Ferguson made his first change on 56 minutes, Bytheway was replaced by Craddock. Oldham played the long ball into the box and Barrett headed away but it was a poor header, Neville-Spearritt was there and he slotted again to make it 2-0 on 62 minutes. Ferguson was rallying his players as the goal went in, there has to be more from Fylde in this second half. Craddock turned Patrick Uttridge and came forward, he switched the ball at pace to Bellairs who played a one-two with Thomas and slotted at the far post to pull a goal back on 66 minutes! Ferguson made his final two changes with 7 minutes to go, John Hutchinson came on for Smyth and Hill came on for Currie. Bellairs hoofed the ball clear after the Oldham corner and Thomas took it down on the halfway line, Hill was in support and he passed wide to Preece who joined the counter attack, the ball came into the box and Hutchinson was there to level! 2-2! Fylde pulled it back! No! The flag was up for offside, there will be a check on this. The decision was correct, Hutchinson was slightly offisde. The game went into stoppage time, Preece took the ball on the right, he played a one-two with Craddock but it was hoofed clear by Gould. Jordan whacked it forward into the Oldham area, Thomas went up for the header but was dragged down, the fans sceamed for the penalty and it was given! David Hill wanted this one, has he taken a penalty before? 93 minutes on the clock, with a chance to earn Fylde a point. He went top right and Price guessed right! Saved! The whole stadium is stunned! Fylde players are shocked. Ferguson cannot believe it. The final whistle was blown and what drama we have seen here at Mill Farm. What a gallant display from Fylde, they battled hard in the second half and deseved a point from this game but it's Oldham who take all three as they battle on for promotion.
DF: I was screaming to Grant Thomas to take that penalty but he mustn't have wanted it. There was pressure so late in the game but David gave it a go and unfortunately he missed. The performance was an improvement and there was fight today. We lost the game but we gave Oldham something to worry about in the second half. We fought hard at 2-0 down and were unlucky this afternoon.
PLAYER RATINGS
Gillingham vs Cheltenham Town
=
Southend United vs MK Dons
=
Charlton Athletic vs Wrexham
=
LEAGUE TABLE
Oh Ffs.
UTFC
Vince looked like a broken man when he got subbed on 57 minutes. The boos were brutal. So much so, people said it reminded them of the Park End dar's booing Holgate during Evertons relegation run in all the way back in 2023.
As we know, the affect it had on Holgate was he woke up the next day and thought he was Lionel Blair the tap dancing King and had no recollection of being a footballer.
Let's hope Vince is ok
As we know, the affect it had on Holgate was he woke up the next day and thought he was Lionel Blair the tap dancing King and had no recollection of being a footballer.
Let's hope Vince is ok
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
The way he was straining in his kit, the only Dancer he'd be is Bella Emberg.