Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
To be fair he is a shadow of his former self since he got into niche porn.
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Former Everton Centre Forward Duncan Ferguson steps into management.....
- Thread starter The Penalty Box Dancer
- Start date
JimmyJeffers
Player Valuation: £70m
Quiche porn I think you’ll find. Common mistake
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
Spent all his money on onlyflans.com I heard.
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
Everton vs Liverpool
20th January 2024
Under the lights at Goodison Park and it's the Merseyside derby. Everton's last win in a Merseyside Derby came under Carlo Ancelotti in 2021 at Anfield and can you imagine how great it would be for Duncan Ferguson to win his first derby as a manager like he did as a player back in 1994. It would be a historic night for the Scot if he could make it happen under a packed Goodison Park. Everton had injuries and the biggest one was the loss of James Tarkowski who injured his ankle in training ruling him out for almost two months. Ben Godfrey had flu and was out of the squad, Danjuma was strill suspended but Jordan Pickford and Muhammed Cham were back in the squad. Liverpool were not in their best form currently 7th in the table but were scoring goals, they left it late to beat West Ham in their last league game but got the job done winning 2-1 at Anfield. Abdoulaye Doucoure was back from the AFCON after representing Mali who got knocked out in the Quarter Final by Cameroon. Idrissa Gueye suffered an injury when playing for Senegal and was ruled out for approximately two weeks. Everton started well and kept composure, Liverpool tried to get an early goal but they were up against a sturdy unit. Just on the 20 minute mark and Calvert-Lewin knocked it down for McNeil, he passed forward for Calvert-Lewin, he got it widde to Harrison who was chased down by Robertson but he got the cross into the box and McNeil didn't have the space to get the header on target. The match was heading into half-time but Szoboszlai found Nunez on the edge of the box with a great ball and he turned Branthwaite to put it across goal beating an outstretched Pickford on 46 minutes. Everton need to come out and put in a better performance. Everton were pressing and it was starting to put Liverpool under pressure. Jota came down the right and cut the ball into the box, Garner tackled Thiago but the referee judged it to be harsh claiming he took the player and awarded the penalty! What a shocking decision! Everton have been done harshly here! VAR will check it and the stadium erupted into boo's as the check went on. Ferguson was talking to the fourth official and had to be pulled back by Ian Woan on more than one occasion! The check is complete and it is a penalty! Goodison has just got ugly. It's Szobozslai to take it and the pressure is on at the Park End. Pickford stood big on his line, Szobozslai took a slow run up and he went to the left, Pickford went to his right and pushed it behind for a corner! The stadium are joyous with that save! There's so many boo's as Robertson went over to take the corner, Branthwaite beat Thiago in the air, but Thiago managed to get a foot to it knocking it back to Diaz, he took a shot which was blocked by Zubeldia, then it came back to him for a second hit and he smashed it into the net, 2-0. Branthwaite brought the ball out from the back on 54 minutes, he found Harrison who likes to run down the wing and he did just that, he got his cross in once again for McNeil who got a better connection with his header and it clipped the bar before going over. Everton with a vital change on 57 minutes, Michael Keane went off and on came Cham who went into an Attacking Midfield role. Beto came on for Calvert-Lewin with just under 15 minutes to go, Everton really need a goal now. They showed some fight and were pushing players forward, Mykolenko was denied by Allisson and Harrison had a header go over the bar. 91 minutes on the clock and Robertson found Diaz who smashed in his second from just inside the area to make it 3-0 to Liverpool. The victory goes the way of Liverpool with a big win at Goodison Park. Everton going through a tough run and it doesn't get any easier with an away trip to The Emirates coming up.
DF: It was a very fast game and in the second half we adapted to the pace and we played some good football, again not taking our chances which comes down to quality in the final third. You can see the difference, they finished theirs, we didn't finish ours. I'm disappointed with a few individuals, certain players went into hiding and it makes me question why they want to be at this club.
PLAYER RATINGS
Arsenal vs Everton
3rd February 2023
Everton were up against it away to league leaders Arsenal. Ferguson's Everton were keeping their heads above the parapet and will likely be in the fight against relegation for the rest of the season. Ferguson went with a midfield three of Onana, Garner and Doucoure. Idrissa Gueye was injured, James Tarkowski was not yet ready to return. Danjuma was back on the bench after a three match suspension. Pickford was called into action early on when Trossard tried to curl one into the top corner and his fingertips kept it out, great save. Amadou Onana pulled up on 22 minutes clutching his groin and ended up going off for Igor Zubeldia. The stats were damning at half-time with Arsenal having 73% possession but yet to make it count. Keane's pass to Doucoure was poor with Rice intercepting but Calvert-Lewin got back and tackled, McNeil brought the ball into the Arsenal half and played it to Garner down the left, he crossed in but it was cleared, Mykolenko took it down and played it to Harrison who knocked it through to Calvert-lewin but his shot was saved. He was offside anyway striding into an offside position. With just over 20 minutes to go Beto came on for Dominic Calvert-Lewin. Tomiyasu was on for Arsenal, played a great ball to the left flank for Nelson, he passed to Havertz who saw the run of Keane and went past him slotting it into the box for Jesus to tuck home into the bottom corner. Danjuma was on for Harrison. Everton move the ball up the pitch, Mykolenko looking for McNeil but it's cut out by Saka, he tried the back pass but McNeil won it back and got it to Beto inside the box who hit it first time with a side foot finish into the bottom right corner! 1-1 on 89 minutes! Arsenal were not to be stopped and in the 93rd minute, Jesus converted from Saka's low cross to make it 2-1. The game is over at The Emirates and it was almost a point for Everton who battled hard this afternoon.
SS: Duncan, why didn't you defend after going level?
DF: I had confidence in the team to go for a second. Arsenal were far more superior and they got the goal, it's one of those days. We could have sat back and defended a draw but we done that for almost 80 minutes so why not try and get a winner?
PLAYER RATINGS
West Ham United vs Everton
10th February 2023
The gap wa growing between 17th and 18th place as Fulham picked up a win in the previous weekend to take them three points above Everton. When asked about the pressure, Ferguson responded positively saying it was pressure that drove him on and that he knew the job was like a pressure cooker when he took it on. He reaffirmed his confidence in his players and states that the team have good performances in them, the run of fixtures has not been kind and another tough away day at West Ham does not allow any time for the manager to get things right. After scoring last time out, Beto started the match and Igor Zubeldia played in front of the back four. Michael Keane kept his place due to James Tarkowsi and Ben Godfrey out with injuries. McNeil took the corner finding the head of Beto but it went behind him, Michael Keane went for the bicycle kick which was saved by Fabianski. It's not often you see that! Mykolenko got down the left to support McNeil, he played it back and Mykolenko crossed in, Beto's header was pushed away, Harrison went for goal and struck the post. It was all Everton but on 63 minutes Soucek played a through ball to Antonio who was too strong for Branthwaite and he blasted past Pickford to give The Hammers the lead. On 67 minutes Everton fought back with some great one touch passes, Branthwaite passed to Gsrner who give it to Doucoure and he played in Beto who went round the keeper and made it 1-1! VAR are taking a look, West Ham are appealing for offside. The replay shows Zouma played Beto offside and the referee ruled out the goal! Still 1-0. Everton with the change with 15 minutes to go, Dele on for Zubeldia and Danjuma on for Harrison. West Ham get the corner and Beto was replaced by Dobbin, 5 minutes to go. West Ham knew how to keep the ball and they got the win. David Moyes with a win over his former Captain and it spells trouble for the Everton manager.
DF: It's a result driven business and we aren't getting the results we should be. I am concerned about my position but I am working hard each day to improve the team and to get more out of them on the pitch. I will alwasy give 150% in this job, I could never have asked for a better managerial position and I am desperate to make this club successful.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
20th January 2024
=
Under the lights at Goodison Park and it's the Merseyside derby. Everton's last win in a Merseyside Derby came under Carlo Ancelotti in 2021 at Anfield and can you imagine how great it would be for Duncan Ferguson to win his first derby as a manager like he did as a player back in 1994. It would be a historic night for the Scot if he could make it happen under a packed Goodison Park. Everton had injuries and the biggest one was the loss of James Tarkowski who injured his ankle in training ruling him out for almost two months. Ben Godfrey had flu and was out of the squad, Danjuma was strill suspended but Jordan Pickford and Muhammed Cham were back in the squad. Liverpool were not in their best form currently 7th in the table but were scoring goals, they left it late to beat West Ham in their last league game but got the job done winning 2-1 at Anfield. Abdoulaye Doucoure was back from the AFCON after representing Mali who got knocked out in the Quarter Final by Cameroon. Idrissa Gueye suffered an injury when playing for Senegal and was ruled out for approximately two weeks. Everton started well and kept composure, Liverpool tried to get an early goal but they were up against a sturdy unit. Just on the 20 minute mark and Calvert-Lewin knocked it down for McNeil, he passed forward for Calvert-Lewin, he got it widde to Harrison who was chased down by Robertson but he got the cross into the box and McNeil didn't have the space to get the header on target. The match was heading into half-time but Szoboszlai found Nunez on the edge of the box with a great ball and he turned Branthwaite to put it across goal beating an outstretched Pickford on 46 minutes. Everton need to come out and put in a better performance. Everton were pressing and it was starting to put Liverpool under pressure. Jota came down the right and cut the ball into the box, Garner tackled Thiago but the referee judged it to be harsh claiming he took the player and awarded the penalty! What a shocking decision! Everton have been done harshly here! VAR will check it and the stadium erupted into boo's as the check went on. Ferguson was talking to the fourth official and had to be pulled back by Ian Woan on more than one occasion! The check is complete and it is a penalty! Goodison has just got ugly. It's Szobozslai to take it and the pressure is on at the Park End. Pickford stood big on his line, Szobozslai took a slow run up and he went to the left, Pickford went to his right and pushed it behind for a corner! The stadium are joyous with that save! There's so many boo's as Robertson went over to take the corner, Branthwaite beat Thiago in the air, but Thiago managed to get a foot to it knocking it back to Diaz, he took a shot which was blocked by Zubeldia, then it came back to him for a second hit and he smashed it into the net, 2-0. Branthwaite brought the ball out from the back on 54 minutes, he found Harrison who likes to run down the wing and he did just that, he got his cross in once again for McNeil who got a better connection with his header and it clipped the bar before going over. Everton with a vital change on 57 minutes, Michael Keane went off and on came Cham who went into an Attacking Midfield role. Beto came on for Calvert-Lewin with just under 15 minutes to go, Everton really need a goal now. They showed some fight and were pushing players forward, Mykolenko was denied by Allisson and Harrison had a header go over the bar. 91 minutes on the clock and Robertson found Diaz who smashed in his second from just inside the area to make it 3-0 to Liverpool. The victory goes the way of Liverpool with a big win at Goodison Park. Everton going through a tough run and it doesn't get any easier with an away trip to The Emirates coming up.
DF: It was a very fast game and in the second half we adapted to the pace and we played some good football, again not taking our chances which comes down to quality in the final third. You can see the difference, they finished theirs, we didn't finish ours. I'm disappointed with a few individuals, certain players went into hiding and it makes me question why they want to be at this club.
PLAYER RATINGS
Arsenal vs Everton
3rd February 2023
=
Everton were up against it away to league leaders Arsenal. Ferguson's Everton were keeping their heads above the parapet and will likely be in the fight against relegation for the rest of the season. Ferguson went with a midfield three of Onana, Garner and Doucoure. Idrissa Gueye was injured, James Tarkowski was not yet ready to return. Danjuma was back on the bench after a three match suspension. Pickford was called into action early on when Trossard tried to curl one into the top corner and his fingertips kept it out, great save. Amadou Onana pulled up on 22 minutes clutching his groin and ended up going off for Igor Zubeldia. The stats were damning at half-time with Arsenal having 73% possession but yet to make it count. Keane's pass to Doucoure was poor with Rice intercepting but Calvert-Lewin got back and tackled, McNeil brought the ball into the Arsenal half and played it to Garner down the left, he crossed in but it was cleared, Mykolenko took it down and played it to Harrison who knocked it through to Calvert-lewin but his shot was saved. He was offside anyway striding into an offside position. With just over 20 minutes to go Beto came on for Dominic Calvert-Lewin. Tomiyasu was on for Arsenal, played a great ball to the left flank for Nelson, he passed to Havertz who saw the run of Keane and went past him slotting it into the box for Jesus to tuck home into the bottom corner. Danjuma was on for Harrison. Everton move the ball up the pitch, Mykolenko looking for McNeil but it's cut out by Saka, he tried the back pass but McNeil won it back and got it to Beto inside the box who hit it first time with a side foot finish into the bottom right corner! 1-1 on 89 minutes! Arsenal were not to be stopped and in the 93rd minute, Jesus converted from Saka's low cross to make it 2-1. The game is over at The Emirates and it was almost a point for Everton who battled hard this afternoon.
SS: Duncan, why didn't you defend after going level?
DF: I had confidence in the team to go for a second. Arsenal were far more superior and they got the goal, it's one of those days. We could have sat back and defended a draw but we done that for almost 80 minutes so why not try and get a winner?
PLAYER RATINGS
West Ham United vs Everton
10th February 2023
=
The gap wa growing between 17th and 18th place as Fulham picked up a win in the previous weekend to take them three points above Everton. When asked about the pressure, Ferguson responded positively saying it was pressure that drove him on and that he knew the job was like a pressure cooker when he took it on. He reaffirmed his confidence in his players and states that the team have good performances in them, the run of fixtures has not been kind and another tough away day at West Ham does not allow any time for the manager to get things right. After scoring last time out, Beto started the match and Igor Zubeldia played in front of the back four. Michael Keane kept his place due to James Tarkowsi and Ben Godfrey out with injuries. McNeil took the corner finding the head of Beto but it went behind him, Michael Keane went for the bicycle kick which was saved by Fabianski. It's not often you see that! Mykolenko got down the left to support McNeil, he played it back and Mykolenko crossed in, Beto's header was pushed away, Harrison went for goal and struck the post. It was all Everton but on 63 minutes Soucek played a through ball to Antonio who was too strong for Branthwaite and he blasted past Pickford to give The Hammers the lead. On 67 minutes Everton fought back with some great one touch passes, Branthwaite passed to Gsrner who give it to Doucoure and he played in Beto who went round the keeper and made it 1-1! VAR are taking a look, West Ham are appealing for offside. The replay shows Zouma played Beto offside and the referee ruled out the goal! Still 1-0. Everton with the change with 15 minutes to go, Dele on for Zubeldia and Danjuma on for Harrison. West Ham get the corner and Beto was replaced by Dobbin, 5 minutes to go. West Ham knew how to keep the ball and they got the win. David Moyes with a win over his former Captain and it spells trouble for the Everton manager.
DF: It's a result driven business and we aren't getting the results we should be. I am concerned about my position but I am working hard each day to improve the team and to get more out of them on the pitch. I will alwasy give 150% in this job, I could never have asked for a better managerial position and I am desperate to make this club successful.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
NeroCeasar
Player Valuation: £6m
Has Davek found this run of results yet?
Just had a chat with the big man, gave him a stripe of talc powder, glass of baby sham, half an hour with my mum whilst going over some tactical mistakes and selections he's doing wrong.
Don't worry folks, we'll be going on a winning run now that macca is behind the scenes overseeing things.
Don't worry folks, we'll be going on a winning run now that macca is behind the scenes overseeing things.
Did he remember you from the fylde days of 40 odd years ago?
NeroCeasar
Player Valuation: £6m
Glad to see your mum has things in hand, literally
It was like a scene out of Star Wars
"Dunc.........I'm your Father"
"Noooooooooooooooo"
Very moving.
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
It's going to be headline news when you hijack the flight for the winter break to Dubai, but these layabouts need an old fashioned kidnapping.
I've cancelled the Dubai trip for a trip to Donnington race Park where all the players will be tied upside down to Kawasaki superbikes doing 60 laps of the course.
Player who lasts the longest gets a free brekkie from Caths Cafe and a tug from Caths mums sister Maureen
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
Nice. Bet old quiche face is sorry he left now.
Really nice toast there. Except for it being stale, burnt to a crisp and covered in flies it was great.