Charles Hawtrey
Player Valuation: £50m
Its a throwback to the Thatcher era.
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Jokes Thread
- Thread starter toffeemax
- Start date
Charles Hawtrey
Player Valuation: £50m
A is for Angry, E is for Enraged, I is for Irate, O is for Obstinate, U is for Unhappy.
Sorry Irritable Vowel Syndrome...
Sorry Irritable Vowel Syndrome...
Just been asked by a group of teenagers outside the Co-op if I would get them 20 Richmonds, reluctantly I agreed and got them, I handed them over and you should have heard the abuse they gave me!
Cheeky gets.
Next time they can get their own frigging sausages.
Cheeky gets.
Next time they can get their own frigging sausages.
BigBlueConk
Player Valuation: £70m
My wife once got a part time job on a cruise ship.
How did she get on my mate asked.
I think they used a crane I said.
How did she get on my mate asked.
I think they used a crane I said.
BigBlueConk
Player Valuation: £70m
I have been involved in a car accident.
I was hit by a car coming the other way, driven by a koala bear.
We both stopped. I wound down the window and shouted "you clipped us".
The koala said no thanks, I've just eaten.
I was hit by a car coming the other way, driven by a koala bear.
We both stopped. I wound down the window and shouted "you clipped us".
The koala said no thanks, I've just eaten.
BigBlueConk
Player Valuation: £70m
I said an emotional goodbye to my toaster today when it finally stopped working.
It had been there for me through thick and thin.
It had been there for me through thick and thin.
Gwladysstreetlad
Player Valuation: £50m
BigBlueConk
Player Valuation: £70m
One for people of a certain age!
AndyC
Player Valuation: £70m
The rain was pouring down.
There standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water.
A passer-by stopped and asked, "What are you doing?"
"Fishing" replied the old man.
Feeling sorry for the old man, the gent says, "Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me."
In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their whiskies, the gentleman, being a bit of a smart ass, cannot resist asking, "So how many have you caught today?"
Without so much as looking up from his drink, the old man says...
"You're the eighth",
There standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water.
A passer-by stopped and asked, "What are you doing?"
"Fishing" replied the old man.
Feeling sorry for the old man, the gent says, "Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me."
In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their whiskies, the gentleman, being a bit of a smart ass, cannot resist asking, "So how many have you caught today?"
Without so much as looking up from his drink, the old man says...
"You're the eighth",
canuckblue
Player Valuation: £50m
A Newfie decides to go ice fishing. He finds a great spot and starts cutting a hole in the ice.
From nowhere comes a booming voice: "There are no fish here."
He looks around and sees nobody else around, so he resumes cutting.
"I said, there are no fish here," the voice repeats.
"God, is that you?" the Newfie asks.
"No, I'm the arena manager."
From nowhere comes a booming voice: "There are no fish here."
He looks around and sees nobody else around, so he resumes cutting.
"I said, there are no fish here," the voice repeats.
"God, is that you?" the Newfie asks.
"No, I'm the arena manager."
chrismpw
Player Valuation: £70m
CAN MODS DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY MAN. HE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING PEOPLE, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HIMSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HIS UNMENTIONABLES. HE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.