Last Film You Watched
- Thread starter GrandOldTeam
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sageyefc
Player Valuation: £90m
Could've used the spoiler function for the homies that ain't seen itSPECTRE (2015)
Spoilers ahead
I can't bear to not see a new James Bond movie. You could dress up a turd, call it Skyfall and I'd still pay money to see it. JAMES BOND 24 begins how every Bond should begin. The targeting barrel, the smooth entrance right of frame and bam!
Good start.
We open in Mexico, specifically on Dia De Los Meurtos, the day of the dead. Straight away, something cinematic is happening. One long take floating in above the crowd and then mingling through, and we follow two smart masked skeletons as they enter a hotel and up to their room. It's revealed to be Bond and beautiful woman, and just as Bond is about to till that field, he's off and out the window. The driving soundtrack here is superb, immediately complimenting the colour and the size of the crowd. In truth, it's a cracking opening scene and just the mouthwash for the left over halitosis of Skyfall. Buildings collapsing and helicopter fights and it's handled well.
Time for the Bond Tune, and it's rubbish. The once famous title sequence is poor. Maybe Worst Ever? We're then back into London and it's a wrap across the knuckles from M and another suspension. Does this happen every film now? The plot is set up, through a message from the previous M, and the story starts to move quite nicely. A new 'C' (Andrew Scott) is installed, and he's intent on 'sweeping out the dinosaurs' ie the double O program, and installing a kind of U.N Big Brother. Cue the pen pusher v in the field dynamic which isn't badly done. A visit to Q (Ben Wishaw), who plays it much better than he tried to previously. We're teased with an appearance from 009, but it never happens, so Bond steals his car after being injected with 'Smart Blood' to monitor him.
Mendes is redeeming himself here. He's telling the story without fuss, and capturing the story in a watchable way. It's simple Bond and it's good. His clothes are nice, his acting is good. It's almost as if he doesn't care, but that's exactly Bond. He's nonchalant in the face of terror and he's finally getting into the character four films later. Craig is like an Everton Manager. All the time in the world to get it right without fear of the sack.
I won't bore you here with the rest of the plot, but rest assured, Mr Hinx (Dave Bautista) is easily one of the best Bond baddies in the last 25 years. When two highly trained assassins are just as good as each other, the understanding between the two can be electric and it is here. I can't quite describe it. Think Pele and Gordon Banks at the 1970 World Cup or Tango and Cash in 1988. Bond Henchmen have been rubbish lately. There's something magnetic about Bautista. His cheeky grin is almost Robert Shaw-like and he and Bond make googly eyes at each other to great effect. Bond is introduced to him as he spies on a Spectre *illuminati* meeting, via a rather nasty sharp metal thumbs in the eyes of his opponent for the position Bond has just vacated for them by assassinating Sciarra in Mexico. Hinx sniffs out Bond, and it's on in the form of High performance racing through Rome.
Bond is starting to re-tread old ground during the middle of the film, and he looks abit tired, but it's done well. We catch up with Mr White, and learn his hot daughter might know something Bond can follow and we've gone from Mexico to London to Austria to Rome and back. I've really been enjoying this so far. I'm even re-warming to Craig pre Quantum which i can't quite believe.
Oberhauser/Blofeld (Christoph Walz) is introduced halfway through the film, and he's good. I mean bad. Evil? A capitalist. His pauses hold the film's breath. His entry is not quite Bardems' Silva in Skyfall, but it's dramatic nonetheless. He's not quite firing on all cylinders, but even at half pace he can out sprint most actors.
And then it happens. Three quarters of the way through the film, it happens. It all falls apart.
It's a very, very specific moment in the film. It's almost as if, from that very moment, a chimpanzee takes the Directors chair. What follows are a series of set pieces, which destroy the movie , and most of the good work done. It's almost as if, they wrote 75% of the movie and gave 25% to a Studio Executive to finish. One particular relevation will have you scratching on your eyeballs in horror. Badly written horror, not good scary horror. It would be like finding out Yer Mar was Yer Dar. It's just WHAT THE ACTUAL F did I just try to absorb. It washes over you like oil on water.
So. In essence, Spectre is an enjoyable romp, but the kind of enjoyable romp you'd wake up from drunk in a Bangkok Brothel. If you know what I'm sayin'. A hour and a half of unbridled beak fueled Ecstasy follow by half an hour of pure sweaty horror.
6.5 out of 10 from me. Would watch again.
OneTrueLegend
Player Valuation: £35m
Watched "The Martian" on Sunday, it was good, I would recommend it. The wife cried buckets at the end. I would not recommend watching it in the Odeon at the Trafford Centre, sat behind the family with the largest heads in England. Seriously, heads the size of beach balls and all of them 6ft 5", why are these people allowed out? 
McBain
Player Valuation: £80m
sageyefc
Player Valuation: £90m
Don't bother me I've seen the film, just thinking of my fellow users
The Cowboy
Player Valuation: £60m
That new Moneypenny is a truly rubbish actress.
Philw
Player Valuation: £50m
Watched The Voices last night. Enjoyable dark comedy starring Ryan Reynolds as a likeable but seriously unhinged weirdo who talks to his pets. Manages to get a date with the hottie from accounts at his work (Gemma Arterton), and everything goes a bit Pete Tong. I mean a lot. Thought the exposition flashbacks were a bit heavy and unnecessary, but good fun overall. Bizarre sing song ending is quite endearing ultimately. Also Anna Kendrick is cute as a button. 7/10.
Jamo Martinez
Player Valuation: £70m
She is cute though. And tbf, Moneypenny's only role is to flirt with Bond. Something I think she handles adequately. If the Bond franchise survived with Roger Moore in the lead role for 7 films, I think it can stand up with this girl as M's secretary.
The Cowboy
Player Valuation: £60m
She does absolutely nothing for me. I guess that makes me a big racist now.
sageyefc
Player Valuation: £90m
Personally think the chemistry is weak between them, her voice gets on my swede aswell
Jamo Martinez
Player Valuation: £70m
No, just a man with different tastes to mine.
The Cowboy
Player Valuation: £60m
Yep, that shaving scene in Skyfall was cold as. Properly not sexual in the slightest.
McBain
Player Valuation: £80m
Noted for future reviews, cheers mate.
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