minor things that make you fume

[Huyton Layne]

Player pronunciations that our commentators have dreamt up that make me feel ill:

• Leonardo Uchoa (in what language is a 'LL' pronounced "CH"? Hint: not Spanish)
• Suh-chez-nee (Sczcesny - Shez-nee)
• Fir-mee-nio (it's Firmino)
• Kevin De Broon (actually heard this one before)
• Ber-tron (as in Bertrand. He's not even French, he's English)
• Boyan (Bojan, Spanish commentators call him Boh-zhan)
• Hun-do-wah (genuinely heard GUNDOGAN pronounced like this and I'm not even joking)
• Pees-check (Piszczek - Pishek. See: Szczesny)
• A-knee-cherby (Anichebe is pronounced Anni-chee-bee surely)
• Mangler (Mang-ah-la)

I'll add to the list as I think of them

Lol my favourite was Coates from Uruguay. Just because his ancestors moved from Scotland and Uruguayans say his name funny doesn't mean we should echo their bastardisation when he moves to England.

 

[larbert toffee]

Trying to have a numb tug? You deviant.

Beat me to it- excuse the pun.

 

[Eggs]

...kids riding bikes on one wheel. They might as well ask Father Christmas for a Penny Farthing.

 

[Gwlacticos]

Getting offered a free ticket to Wembley, but the r/s are playing.

 

[monty]

...kids riding bikes on one wheel. They might as well ask Father Christmas for a Penny Farthing.

Most only do that because some sod pinched the front wheel

 

[efcforever]

Not read the thread, so most of these will have probably featured i'd imagine.

People who answer a question and start with, 'so'
women at cash machines - how effing hard is to withdraw money
women on buses who don't have the money ready upon boarding the bus and then spend ages rifling through their purse. Probably after having been stood at the bus stop for an age fannying about on their phones
Fat gets who take up half your space on the bus/train
People who wear coats on roasting hot days

I could probably come up with loads more, but i'll probably offend someone.

This! Its particularly annoying when they request a mini statement and stand at the front of the queue studying it before putting the card back in.

 

[jaycee]

Sandy Tozvig

 

[The Cowboy]

This! Its particularly annoying when they request a mini statement and stand at the front of the queue studying it before putting the card back in.

I think the two-card twits are the worst. You can see it coming when they're mulling over which card to get a tenner from first. Then you know you're in it for the long haul.

 

[Frank Gallagher]

queing behind a fake scouser in john lewis, wearing a long sleeved leicster shirt when its like 30 degrees outside. esp when he was buying a leicster beanie to go with it.

 

[Alio]

You know when you're going to fill up at the petrol pump but it keeps cutting out after you've put about 12 pence worth in your car?

You click the button again....another 27 pence goes in....cuts off again...

A car pulls up behind you....watching you.....and starts thinking you have issues...

This process carries on for about 3 hours until finally you've decided £5 will get you home

Jeez. Full tilt rage at that.

 

[Baines' left foot]

My motormouth of a landlady is in my back garden talking utter sh*t and won't leave ffs.

 

[Toast]

My motormouth of a landlady is in my back garden talking utter sh*t and won't leave ffs.

She wants you to shag her mate.

I've got the porno music playing in my head already..

 

[The Cowboy]

She wants you to shag her mate.

I've got the porno music playing in my head already..

I've just got visions of Toast riding Mrs Purchase.

 

[The Cowboy]

You know when you're going to fill up at the petrol pump but it keeps cutting out after you've put about 12 pence worth in your car?

You click the button again....another 27 pence goes in....cuts off again...

A car pulls up behind you....watching you.....and starts thinking you have issues...

This process carries on for about 3 hours until finally you've decided £5 will get you home

Jeez. Full tilt rage at that.

Pull the nozzle out a bit, that's all.

 

[Baines' left foot]

She wants you to shag her mate.

I've got the porno music playing in my head already..

She's a nightmare. She charged the house £700 because the garden was a state and she wanted to get a gardener to put it right. Fair enough, it's in the contract. She's out in the garden now with a pitch fork doing work herself ffs and she's like 65. Like fk I'm helping her though.