We are getting battered today, we haven't been able to do anything away this season.
Burnley away marmalised us.
Waford at home 2-5 Wtf.
Norwich away was an absolute embarrassment, only made worse by coming back on the coach through Norfolk with no WiFi signal listening to the radio and Lisa tarbuck pronouncing "it's jigsaw January, phone in and tell us all your funny jigsaw stories".The only funny thing a Tarbuck could say right now is, "he's dead". Can it get anymore Partridge, yes it can...
That's when I knew the game was up, we are through the looking glass now people. Up is down, black is white, we are gone.
The Shiite will do a quadruple and I'm gonna stay in "That" London after the arsenal game and live on the steps of Buckingham palace drinking turps. It's gotta be better than being an Evertonian in murkyside with the satanic krud undie lickers doing some creepy homecoming parade, jizzing in big buckets, bumming dogs and cats, sacrificing pigeons to auntie Aldo, hanging dwarfs from lamposts by their ankles as the Lfc Lampost scruff fly's past electrocuting himself.
I'm dreading today, every pathetic pretend tellyclapper will be out in force, dodgy candy and crown paints kits are being dug out of cum stained bags in the attic at this moment. The boxroom virgins are peeling off their crusty sheets and terrorising elderly mums with make believe tales of daring do off when they used to go the game, (they didn't ever)...
I'm still drunk from yesterday, gonna get up and go into town for a few b4 the game, when I bump into the Olafs and the Olga's with their scarfs adorning themselves like massive kipper ties, I'm gonna point at an imaginary Kenny Doglead licking a tramps arse across the street, then piss in their pint as they sing Yawn at him, kin' scruffs...