Ronald reminds me of a joke I heard:
A guy walks into a quiet backstreet bar and sees a bloke sat staring miserably into his whisky, looking like the world is on his shoulders. He is particularly noticeable because his head is much, much bigger than the average person's, and it's bright orange.
The guy goes up to the bartender and asks, "What's the deal with that guy, with the giant orange head?" Bartender sighs deeply as he cleans a glass, and mutters, "You'd better go ask him that, my friend."
So the guy walks over and asks, "Excuse me, sorry, but I couldn't help noticing your head. Why is it giant and orange?"
The man looks at him with tears in his eyes, and after a long, heavy pause, concedes, "alright, I'll tell ya. But buy me a drink first."
He buys him a drink, and he begins: "When I was a young man, I had nothing. Then, one day, I stumbled upon a lamp. I rubbed it, and out popped a genie, who said he'd grant me three wishes."
At this point he paused to sip his whisky, and seemed to forget what he was saying. His new friend urged him to continue. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"What happened next? With the genie?"
The man came to. "ah, right you are. well I was a young man, and I had nothing, so the first thing I wished for was a million dollars. Back then it was a lot of money you know."
"And what happened?"
"Poof! The genie gave me a million dollars in cash, right there. No hitch."
"Amazing! What was your second wish?"
"Well, I was a lonely lad, and inexperienced, so my next wish was to have the most beautiful woman in the world as my companion. And as soon as I said it, she appeared: she was a vision, I tell ya. Helen of Troy had nothing on this lady, hair an iridiscent auburn, a body that would make any man tremble, and a face so beautiful you didn't dare look into her eyes for long. And she loved me, and I loved her. She was perfection, lad."
At this point the man began to weep, and then quickly downed the rest of his whisky.
Uncomfortable, but amazed and still curious, his new friend pressed on.
"Sorry, but what happened next?"
The man sniffed, "Ah yes, well, next is where I think I made a crucial mistake. For my third wish, I wished for my head to be massive and orange."