Install the app
How to install the app on iOS

Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.

Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.

Not Safe For Work! Spurty's Newsround

Spurty's Newsround

  • Screw John Craven this is the dogs

    Votes: 8 25.8%
  • Screw John Craven because his jumpers really turn me on

    Votes: 9 29.0%
  • John Craven is Toast

    Votes: 14 45.2%

  • Total voters
    31
Status
Not open for further replies.
SMITHSONIAN EMPLOYEE ACCUSED OF RAPING 2500-YEAR OLD MUMMY
January 28th, 2016 | by Barbara Johnson
smithsonianmummy2.jpg

Washington, DC| A security guard of the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History was arrested this morning, for allegedly having sex with one of the mummies of the Egyptian exhibition.
44-year old James Monroe, has worked as a night watchman for the reputed museum for the last nine years, and was almost considered a model employee until his divorce two years ago.
According to his colleagues, he suddenly became very depressed and short-tempered, and began behaving rather strangely. On two occasions, his superior even noticed that one of the mummies seemed to have been damaged during his watch, leading to the installation of some new video cameras.
The images captured by these cameras were far more disturbing than what his boss expected.
The cameras caught Mr. Monroe on Monday evening, opening the glass display case protecting the 2500-year old Egyptian mummy, lying down on top of it and sexually aggressing it. The Smithsonian fired the watchman and brought the images to the police, filing charges against their former employee for indecent exposure and destruction of property.

“The security video that the Smithsonian has provided us is really disgusting,” says D.C Police Chief, Cathy Lynn Lanier. “I understand that the mummy is not really a victim of sex crimes, but his behavior certainly caused some damages to the property of the Smithsonian, therefore, his behavior is criminal. And let’s be honest, I think he really needs help.”

smithsonianmummy.jpg
The mummy was slightly damaged during Mr. Monroe’s sexual assaults, particularly in the groin area, but is still in rather good condition. The corpse is believed to have belonged to a man of the upper class, who died around 500 BC.
Mr Monroe will undergo a psychiatric assessment before the beginning of the court procedures, in order to determine if he is able to stand trial.
This process should take a few weeks, meaning Mr Monroe will probably come back in court only in March.
Bog standard night in The Grafton.
 
We're not the only ones to say it with Dildos


NZ minister gets dildo in face after TPP signing

56b4a534c4618801068b456b.jpg

Mass protests over the TPP in New Zealand did not pass by without tomfoolery; a day after thousands took to the streets of Auckland, Economic Development Minister Steven Joyce was hit with a sex toy thrown by a woman, while speaking at Waitangi.
Joyce was an easy target, giving an interview to the press, following the February 4 signing of the TPP agreement, hailed as “the biggest trade deal in a generation.”
But several thousand protesters had gathered earlier to march against the agreement, and a sizable presence was at Waitangi as well, four hours north of the original march, in Auckland.



Shouting “that’s for raping our sovereignty,” the woman threw a huge pink rubber penis, hitting Joyce square in the face. Security quickly led her away.
Joyce said this was the first time an object had been hurled at him, despite projectiles not being uncommon in politics.
“We actually thought it was a little bit humorous at the end of it all," the minister told journalists.
“New experiences in politics every day, it's the privilege of serving,” he added.
Dildo-dispatcher Josie Butler, though, has a bone to pick with Joyce, and she’s a frequent visitor at demonstrations. Asked about the sex-toy tactic, she told TVNZ: “I am worried about patient rights because of the price of medications going up.”
Like Butler, activists continue to oppose the TPP on the grounds it might lead to job losses, stagnant wages and increasing inequality.
Waitangi is also an indigenous celebration, commemorating the signing of the treaty between the Crown and the indigenous Maori people.
 
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...lthy-chinese-elite-for-80-a-jar-a6857461.html

Man sells British fresh air to wealthy Chinese elite for £80 a jar

Leo De Watts is thought to have made thousands of pounds in just a few weeks by shipping air to China from the UK
Aethaer-UK.jpg

A company is selling British-bottled air in China Aethaer​

A businessman is raking in thousands of pounds selling jars of ‘fresh air’ to people in China for £80 each.
Leo De Watts, 27, sells air collected in the British countryside and ships it over to polluted cities Shanghai and Beijing, where the wealthy elite pay a hefty sum for a few seconds of inhalation.
The Aethaer products include air from Somerset, Wales and Dorset, with each area said to create air with different qualities.



Watts’ website boasts: “Aethaer is filtered organically by nature as it flows between the leaves of woodland trees, absorbs pristine water as it passes over babbling brooks and forest streams, and is lovingly caressed as it rolls over and between mineral rich rock formations, after which it is blown up over vistas of untouched beauty to where the Aethaer is collected and bottled.”
The bottles have already made Watts a hefty sum, with the Dorset Echo reporting that 180 have been sold since the buisness' inception just a few weeks ago.
As well as those buying the product to inhale, it is reportedly also being purchased by people who will never open it, but instead keep the jar for its novelty value.
The air is collected using jars held in makeshift nets, which are held into the air and walked around in areas far removed from anywhere polluted – a process Watts describes as ‘air farming’.
In addition to selling regular bottles of air, Watts – who lines in Hong Kong – is also doing a ‘Chinese New Year special’ which includes 15 jars of fresh air for £888.
 

'Come at me bro': Roger the musclebound kangaroo is back - and it looks like he’s been hitting the weights
  • Roger the kangaroo has made a triumphant return to social media
  • The red kangaroo posed for a flex - biceps bulging and veins popping out
  • He weighs 89 kilograms and stands over 2 metres tall, well above average
  • Roger lives at The Kangaroo Sanctuary in Alice Springs, Northern Territory
PUBLISHED: 11:51, 6 February 2016 | UPDATED: 15:40, 6 February 2016

Roger the kangaroo is back - and it looks like he's been working hard in the gym.
The musclebound red kangaroo saddled up for a photo with a fearsome flex, trademark biceps bulging and veins popping out of his immensely sculpted forearms.
He's come a long way since being picked up as a tiny orphaned joey sitting on the side of the road beside his dead mother back in 2006.
Now Roger entertains the masses who come to visit him at The Kangaroo Sanctuary Alice Springs in the Northern Territory.

30EE897B00000578-3434736-image-a-45_1454752932965.jpg

Roger the Kangaroo made a triumphant return to social media on Friday, posing for a menacing photo​

30EE899300000578-3434736-image-a-47_1454752955378.jpg

The red kangaroo made headlines last year when he was photographed crushing a metal bucket with his paws​

30EE89AF00000578-3434736-image-a-46_1454752950206.jpg

He has earned a reputation as one of the fiercest kangaroos alive - weighing a whopping 89 kilograms​

Roger's latest pose - bent over on his stocky hind legs and lips locked in a fierce grimace - was uploaded across the sanctuary's social media accounts on Friday.
'After a summer break we reopened this week for our guided sunset tours. Here is Roger enjoying the attention of our visitors!,' the caption read.
Weighing in at a mammoth 89 kilograms and standing 2.007 metres from tip to tail, Roger rises a head above the rest of his mob whom he fiercely protects.
Roger made headlines last year when photos emerged of him eyeballing a camera while he crushed a metal bucket with his bare paws.

30EE89D600000578-3434736-image-a-49_1454752965237.jpg

Sanctuary manager Chris 'Brolga' Barnes says Roger is a master of kickboxing and is trained in hand-to-hand combat

30EE89A600000578-3434736-image-a-52_1454752978005.jpg

Poser: Roger loves to prop up his huge chest and flex his biceps for the camera​

Since then, sanctuary manager Chris 'Brolga' Barnes has relished in the marsupial's newfound fame, uploading photos to show the sanctuary's near-300,000 followers more of Roger's personality.
In one shot Roger has his body propped upright as he rests his front legs on a boxing bag.
Another image reveals Roger propping his chest forward as he reaches upwards to nibble on the leaves of an overhead tree.
While Roger puts on a tough front, he's really a bit of a softy.
He's often pictured hugging tightly on his two favourite play-toys, a soft Easter bunny and Santa.
In June of last year, Brolga told Daily Mail Australia that Roger was trained in hand-to-hand combat and could disembowel his opponent with a well-placed kick.
'His daily exercise regime is sparring [kickboxing] his rivals and chasing his human 'Mum', me,' Brolga told Daily Mail Australia.
'He also loves crushing metal buckets.
'Don't mess with a "Big Red" [red kangaroo], they'll disembowel you... or worse.'
 
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-e...ear-and-everyones-very-confused-a6784671.html

Joss Stone wins Billboard's reggae artist of the year and everyone's very confused

Her album was the best selling modern reggae record of 2015
Joss-Stone.jpg

Let's think of some modern reggae artists, shall we? You’ve got Chronic, Popcaan, Protoje, Stylo G, just to name a few. You’re probably not thinking of multi-platinum selling soul singer Joss Stone.
With her seventh album Water for Your Soul, which has been described as ‘incorporating elements of reggae and hip-hop’, selling so well, the 28-year-old has miraculously been named reggae artist of the year by Billboard.
The album is reportedly the biggest-selling reggae album of 2015, selling 29,000 copies, and spending eight weeks at the top of Billboard’s weekly reggae albums chart, as well as featuring on the top R&B/Hip-Hop albums chart.
Many Tweeters have reacted appropriately to the new, with many confused or making jokes that Steve Harvey - who recently announced the wrong winner of the Miss Universe competition - may have announced the result.
 
Leaflets pulled due to boob over Bobby
_82085681_pic.png

By BBC TrendingWhat's popular and why
_88166037_acc4ea1b-6e10-41bb-8b3e-b3797a023a25.jpg

Mary Lou McDonald's campaign leaflet has been taken out of circulation - but only after being picked up on social media​
As unfortunate typos go it could have hardly been worse.
The Republic of Ireland is currently a few days into a general election campaign that is taking place amid the backdrop of the hundredth anniversary of the Easter 1916 rising.
In one campaign leaflet, Mary Lou McDonald, the deputy leader of Sinn Fein - the fourth-biggest party in the last Irish parliament - wanted to be quoted invoking the spirit of one of the figureheads of the Irish Republican movement, Bobby Sands, the IRA hunger striker who starved himself to death in the Maze Prison in Northern Ireland in 1981.
However, somewhere along the way Bobby became Booby and nobody noticed until the leaflets were printed and were starting to be distributed. Not surprisingly the error has caused some amusement and awful punning on social media.

_88166263_88162869.jpg

_88166262_88162865.jpg

_88166264_88164454.jpg

The writer Paddy Duffy referenced the historical ties between the IRA and Eta, the Basque separatist group, in his post.

_88166267_basqueregion.jpg

One person who is not so amused is Ms McDonald, who is one of the most recognisable faces in Irish politics. She has not responded well to some of the tweets and memes being circulated in response to the typo - including by an account attributed to a member of the youth wing of the ruling Fine Gael party. Dan McInereny photoshopped Ms McDonald's head onto a gif of the actor Matt LeBlanc from an episode of the TV series Friends in which he was buried up to his neck on a beach and given a sandy cleavage.

_88166265_mary_lou_tweet.jpg

Ms McDonald dismissed this as "gurrier" politics - gurrier being Dublin slang for a hooligan - and accused her detractors of "scraping the barrel". But she has received some sympathy, however, including from a fellow politician north of the border - a member of the Irish nationalist party, the SDLP.

_88162868_88162867.jpg

A Sinn Fein spokesperson told BBC Trending: "The leaflet was commissioned and printed by a local area [printers]. It contained a typo that should never have been printed or distributed. The leaflet has been withdrawn."
 
Jeffrey Archer cuts his tax bill- by giving his statue of Satan to Oxford
By Cambridge News | Posted: February 08, 2016
12544419-large.jpg

Lord Archer has donated his sculpture of Satan to Oxford's Ashmolean Museum​

Lord Jeffrey Archer has made a devilishly good deal on his tax return – by donating his statue of Satan to the Other Place.
The former MP and Grantchester resident has given the bronze cast of a French masterpiece to Oxford University's Ashmolean Museum, where it will take pride of place in a new exhibition.
Along with his wife Dame Mary Archer he made the donation as part of the Government's Cultural Gifts scheme, which enables UK taxpayers to donate important works of art to the nation, in return for a tax reduction of up to 30 per cent of the item's value.
The sculpture is one of three pieces the couple gave to the Oxford museum, with other works allocated to Cambridge's Fitzwilliam Museum and the Tate gallery in his will.

Lord Archer told the News: "Mary and I have decided to give quite a large collection of out art away.
"I am 75 now and we have been thinking for some time which art the boys would like and which we would like to give away."
According to the Financial Times, the best-selling author, who has a net worth estimated at £140 million, will receive a £48,000 tax reduction in exchange for the horned beast.
The 80cm-high sculpture is one of only three known large-scale casts of Satan/Mephistopheles, by French artist Jean-Jacques Feuchère.
Produced during France's 'July Monarchy' of 1830-48, a smaller version of the cast is in the Louvre, but larger versions are very rare, with no comparable example of Feuchère's work held anywhere in a British public collection.

Satan.jpg

Lord Archer added: "I have had it for about 10 years.
"It wasn't universally popular in the family, but it's a beautiful piece. I think he is a remarkable sculpture and it's an important piece.
"I was delighted to give it to Oxford."
Matthew Winterbottom, curator of European art at the Ashmolean said: "Feuchère's Satan is one of the most forceful and expressive examples of brooding melancholy in Romantic art and is often seen as a precursor of Rodin's Thinker.
"The Ashmolean is profoundly grateful to Lord and Lady Archer and to Arts Council England, for making this important work available to the Ashmolean.
"The sculpture will be displayed in one of the museum's most popular galleries for the enjoyment of all of our visitors."
The sculpture will be a focal point of the Ashmolean's 19th Century Gallery, which is to be refurbished and reopened later this year.
The museum has already benefited significantly from the Acceptance in Lieu scheme, which preceded the Cultural Gifts programme, receiving paintings by John Constable and JMW Turner.
The Archers have built an extensive art collection over the past 40 years, which includes works by Bonnard, Dufy, Vuillard, Underwood and Pissarro.
 

Woman 'Mistakes Expanding Builder's Foam For Hair Mousse'
The Huffington Post UK | By Sara C Nelson
Posted: 30/09/2015 10:18 BST Updated: 30/09/2015 10:59 BST

If you’ve ever accidentally reached for your shaving foam when you were groping around for your toothpaste, spare a thought for this lady.
The woman in this image supposedly mistook some expanding builder’s foam for hair mousse – apparently resulting in a rock hard helmet of cavity filler and a very sheepish visit to hospital.

o-BUILDERS-FOAM-HAIR-MOUSSE-570.jpg

A bad hair day to end all bad hair days

The image is said to have been taken in an A&E department in Eastern Europe, but with such minimal information available the usual caveats apply: Why is it all over one shoulder? And why does she appear to have accessorized it with dead leaves?

Frankly, we may never know.
 

Status
Not open for further replies.

Welcome

Join Grand Old Team to get involved in the Everton discussion. Signing up is quick, easy, and completely free.

Back
Top