Not Safe For Work! Spurty's Newsround

[Donald Twain]

Good lord!

Slaughter the fatted calf - the prodigal son has returned!!

In an interstellar burst I am back to save the universe!

 

[Donald Twain]

Woman 'Mistakes Expanding Builder's Foam For Hair Mousse'
The Huffington Post UK | By Sara C Nelson
Posted: 30/09/2015 10:18 BST Updated: 30/09/2015 10:59 BST

If you’ve ever accidentally reached for your shaving foam when you were groping around for your toothpaste, spare a thought for this lady.
The woman in this image supposedly mistook some expanding builder’s foam for hair mousse – apparently resulting in a rock hard helmet of cavity filler and a very sheepish visit to hospital.

A bad hair day to end all bad hair days​

The image is said to have been taken in an A&E department in Eastern Europe, but with such minimal information available the usual caveats apply: Why is it all over one shoulder? And why does she appear to have accessorized it with dead leaves?

Frankly, we may never know.

Think we've all done this like.

 

[summerisle]

http://www.waanbox.com/?sub_id1=10132&sub_id2=3041&sub_id3=50819

Woman Attends Own Funeral, Shocks Husband Who Ordered Her Murder

By Evann Gastaldo, Newser Staff
Posted Feb 5, 2016 6:10 PM CST


(NEWSER) – Noela Rukundo had been with her husband, Balenga Kalala, for 11 years when, last year, she flew from their home in Melbourne, Australia, to her native Burundi for her stepmother's funeral. While there, Kalala ordered gang members to have her killed. They abducted her and told her what they had been hired to do; Rukundo even heard her husband's voice on speakerphone telling them to kill her, the Australian Broadcasting Company reports. The gang members decided not to murder her because they knew her brother and they didn't believe in killing women, but they kept Kalala's money and told him the job was done. She was able to get back home, where, on Feb. 22, 2015, she walked up to Kalala after her own funeral; he'd told everyone she died while in Burundi. "Is it a ghost?" the scared man, who has since been sentenced to nine years for incitement to murder, per the ABC, asked.

Rukundo tells the BBC her husband touched her shoulder to make sure she was real, then began screaming. He apologized, but she called police—and, though Kalala first denied he'd had anything to do with Rukundo's ordeal, she ultimately got him to confess while police secretly recorded one of their phone calls, the Age reports. His explanation to her? He thought she was going to leave him for someone else. "Sometimes Devil can come into someone, to do something, but after they do it they start thinking, ‘Why I did that thing?’ later," he reportedly said. The couple has three children together, and Rukundo also has five from a previous relationship. Since her ordeal, she says, some members of Melbourne's Congolese community have threatened her for reporting Kalala, who is originally from the Democratic Republic of Congo.

 

[Donald Twain]

http://www.waanbox.com/?sub_id1=10132&sub_id2=3041&sub_id3=50819

Woman Attends Own Funeral, Shocks Husband Who Ordered Her Murder

By Evann Gastaldo, Newser Staff
Posted Feb 5, 2016 6:10 PM CST


(NEWSER) – Noela Rukundo had been with her husband, Balenga Kalala, for 11 years when, last year, she flew from their home in Melbourne, Australia, to her native Burundi for her stepmother's funeral. While there, Kalala ordered gang members to have her killed. They abducted her and told her what they had been hired to do; Rukundo even heard her husband's voice on speakerphone telling them to kill her, the Australian Broadcasting Company reports. The gang members decided not to murder her because they knew her brother and they didn't believe in killing women, but they kept Kalala's money and told him the job was done. She was able to get back home, where, on Feb. 22, 2015, she walked up to Kalala after her own funeral; he'd told everyone she died while in Burundi. "Is it a ghost?" the scared man, who has since been sentenced to nine years for incitement to murder, per the ABC, asked.

Rukundo tells the BBC her husband touched her shoulder to make sure she was real, then began screaming. He apologized, but she called police—and, though Kalala first denied he'd had anything to do with Rukundo's ordeal, she ultimately got him to confess while police secretly recorded one of their phone calls, the Age reports. His explanation to her? He thought she was going to leave him for someone else. "Sometimes Devil can come into someone, to do something, but after they do it they start thinking, ‘Why I did that thing?’ later," he reportedly said. The couple has three children together, and Rukundo also has five from a previous relationship. Since her ordeal, she says, some members of Melbourne's Congolese community have threatened her for reporting Kalala, who is originally from the Democratic Republic of Congo.

That's what I'd say!

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

Florida man charged with 'throwing alligator' into fast-food restaurant

• 5 hours ago From the sectionUS & Canada

Mr James' mother reportedly said he wanted to play a practical joke on a friend​

A man in Florida is facing charges of aggravated assault after allegedly throwing an alligator into a fast-food restaurant.
Joshua James, 23, has been accused of tossing the live animal through a drive-thru window at a Wendy's restaurant.
His mother reportedly said he wanted to play a practical joke on his friend, who worked at the place.
The animal was captured and released back into the wild.

Mr James, from Jupiter, Florida, had found the alligator on the side of a road and lured it into the back of his truck, according to an incident report by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, cited by local broadcaster WPTV.
He then went to the restaurant in Royal Palm Beach, where he placed an order at the drive-thru window, received a drink and threw the 3ft (1m) long animal through the opening, the report said.
The incident happened in October but the suspect has only now been taken into custody.
He also reportedly faces charges of unlawful possession and transportation of an alligator.
His mother, Linda James, told WPTV his action was a "stupid prank".
The TV station posted a photo of the alligator - taken from the incident report - on Twitter.

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

*Spurty's Newsround Sport Extra**Spurty's Newsround Sport Extra**Spurty's Newsround Sport Extra**Spurty's Newsround Sport

http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/...ned-Hereford/story-28699712-detail/story.html

Accident-prone Jurgen Klopp to be auctioned at Hereford Cattle Market after Manchester City game

By TristanCork | Posted: February 09, 2016

Hereford Market Auctioneers in action, and Jurgen Klopp (right)
​

He survived nearly drowning and has twice had to be freed after getting his head stuck in things – but now Jurgen Klopp is doing something right – being auctioned off for charity.
That's right, (an accident-prone young cow named after) Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp is being sold at Hereford cattle market to raise money for the St Michael's Hospice in nearby Bartestree.
While the real Liverpool manager has survived appendicitis, the frustration of Daniel Sturridge's injuries and his own team's leaky defence, his young steer namesake has survived different kinds of trauma.
At just a few months old, he fell into the River Lugg and was rescued by his owner, Tom Pearson, a football fan with a knack for naming cattle. A couple of months ago, Mr Pearson had to call for help from two friends to free Jurgen Klopp after the steer got his head stuck in a hurdle.
Last month, he got stuck again and had to be cut free by an angle-grinder.
"He seemed to be having more mishaps than the Liverpool defence and with a similar expression as Jurgen Klopp reacting to his team letting in a last minute goal at Anfield," said Mr Pearson.
The cow version of Jurgen Klopp will be auctioned at Hereford Livestock Market on March 3, the day after his team face Manchester City in a crucial showdown for that battle to finish in the top ten in the Premiership.
The steer should fetch a pretty penny for St Michael's – Mr Pearce has a reputation for breeding top quality Limousin cattle, and expert buyers will overlook Jurgen's earlier mishaps, and his rather unfortunate name.
"Tom has worked at Hereford Market for at least 20 years and is well known for breeding top quality Limousin cattle," said auctioneer Richard Hyde. "His attention to detail and the quality of his stock are a credit to him and all his family.
"St Michaels Hospice is the farmers' favourite charity. When unidentified stray sheep are brought to market, invariably we are instructed to send the proceeds to the Hospice. We hope Jurgen Klopp's sale will raise significant funds for St Michael's and invite others to participate by donating cash, services or livestock to produce as large an amount as possible," he added.

*Spurty's Newsround Sport Extra**Spurty's Newsround Sport Extra**Spurty's Newsround Sport Extra**Spurty's Newsround Sport

 

[Donald Twain]

Florida man charged with 'throwing alligator' into fast-food restaurant

• 5 hours ago From the sectionUS & Canada

Mr James' mother reportedly said he wanted to play a practical joke on a friend​

A man in Florida is facing charges of aggravated assault after allegedly throwing an alligator into a fast-food restaurant.
Joshua James, 23, has been accused of tossing the live animal through a drive-thru window at a Wendy's restaurant.
His mother reportedly said he wanted to play a practical joke on his friend, who worked at the place.
The animal was captured and released back into the wild.

Mr James, from Jupiter, Florida, had found the alligator on the side of a road and lured it into the back of his truck, according to an incident report by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, cited by local broadcaster WPTV.
He then went to the restaurant in Royal Palm Beach, where he placed an order at the drive-thru window, received a drink and threw the 3ft (1m) long animal through the opening, the report said.
The incident happened in October but the suspect has only now been taken into custody.
He also reportedly faces charges of unlawful possession and transportation of an alligator.
His mother, Linda James, told WPTV his action was a "stupid prank".
The TV station posted a photo of the alligator - taken from the incident report - on Twitter.

Bet he said ' make it snappy '

 

[Donald Twain]

*Spurty's Newsround Sport Extra**Spurty's Newsround Sport Extra**Spurty's Newsround Sport Extra**Spurty's Newsround Sport



*Spurty's Newsround Sport Extra**Spurty's Newsround Sport Extra**Spurty's Newsround Sport Extra**Spurty's Newsround Sport

Good to see you're branching out me lord !

 

[Donald Twain]

We all need more news involving dildos I feel ! errr not ones I actually oil or rub like. *leaves quickly.

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

Disbelief as Egyptian president rolls out four kilometre red carpet for austerity press conference
Maram Mazen, The Associated Press | February 9, 2016 1:22 PM ET
More from The Associated Press

this image taken from Egypt State TV, Egyptian President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi's motorcade drives on a red carpet during a trip to open social housing projects in a suburb of Cairo, Egypt.​

CAIRO — Egyptian President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi is facing criticism after a massive red carpet was laid over public roads for his motorcade during a trip to open a social housing project in a Cairo suburb, where he preached austerity.
Images of the giant red carpet prompted a wave of ridicule on social media, with a hashtag mocking the carpet trending in Arabic. A local newspaper devoted much of its front page Monday to the incident.
“How is the president asking us to tighten our belts while the 4 kilometre red carpet says otherwise?” read a headline in Al-Maqal newspaper, whose editor-in-chief, Ibrahim Eissa, is one of Egypt’s most prominent TV commentators.
El-Sissi, who as military chief led the overthrow of an elected Islamist leader in 2013, has staked his legitimacy on reviving the economy after years of unrest, including by trimming costly state subsidies, a theme he touched upon at Saturday’s event.
He said the state spends around 40 million pounds ($5.1 million) a day to provide clean water, with only part of the cost passed on to consumers.
“One (cubic) meter of water that reaches you costs me this much, and you are taking it by that much, and the state is unable to continue this way,” el-Sissi said in a televised conference.

The military provided a rare public response to the furor over the carpet. Brig. Gen. Ehab el-Ahwagy explained on several talk shows Sunday night that the carpet was not purchased by el-Sissi’s administration and had been used for more than three years on similar occasions.
“It gives a kind of joy and assurance to the Egyptian citizen that our people and our land and our armed forces are always capable of organizing anything in a proper manner,” el-Ahwagy told prominent TV talk show host Amr Adeeb.

Amr Nabil / Associated PressA small number of supporters of Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sissi wave posters and national flags.
“It is laid out in a way to beautify the general area, so it gives a good impression of the celebration that is being broadcast to the whole world.”
El-Sissi’s promises to bring stability have come amid heavy clampdown on dissent. Thousands of Islamists and a number of prominent secular activists have been imprisoned. Unauthorized protests have been banned.
On Monday, hundreds of soccer fans nevertheless held a rally inside a Cairo park to commemorate the deaths of 22 people killed in clashes last year between the police and fans of the Zamalek football club. The fans set off firecrackers and waved banners as large numbers of security forces were deployed outside the park.
The rally came one week after a similar gathering by fans of Egypt’s top football club, Al-Ahly, commemorating the 74 people killed in a soccer riot in 2012 in the Suez Canal city of Port Said.
Egypt’s hardcore soccer fans, known as ultras, played a major role in the protests that roiled the country during and after the 2011 uprising that toppled longtime autocrat Hosni Mubarak.

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

Vladimir Putin is being advised by aliens, says Labour councillor

Is Russian president Vladimir Putin talking to the Aliens in this picture?​

Vladimir Putin is being advised by high-profile aliens.
So says Simon Parkes, a town councillor from Whitby who also claims to have had sex with extra-terrestrials. And who claims his real mother is 9ft tall and green. And has a son on another planet.
So now we’ve got his credibility sorted, let’s hear what he’s got to say.
‘They look just like Scandinavians, tall and blond with blue eyes, they visit and have meetings with high-level and influential people and then leave again.
‘They don’t hang around long because they don’t want to be rumbled.’
According to cllr Parkes the aliens have been advising Putin for two or three years.
Thankfully they are friendly towards earthlings, but want Putin to stand up to the U.S.
However, he says that Russians are now using typewriters to prevent ‘U.S. spyware which could hack into their systems’.
Mr Parkes was democratically elected to Whitby Town Council in February 2012.

 

[summerisle]

Vladimir Putin is being advised by aliens, says Labour councillor

Is Russian president Vladimir Putin talking to the Aliens in this picture?​

Vladimir Putin is being advised by high-profile aliens.
So says Simon Parkes, a town councillor from Whitby who also claims to have had sex with extra-terrestrials. And who claims his real mother is 9ft tall and green. And has a son on another planet.
So now we’ve got his credibility sorted, let’s hear what he’s got to say.
‘They look just like Scandinavians, tall and blond with blue eyes, they visit and have meetings with high-level and influential people and then leave again.
‘They don’t hang around long because they don’t want to be rumbled.’
According to cllr Parkes the aliens have been advising Putin for two or three years.
Thankfully they are friendly towards earthlings, but want Putin to stand up to the U.S.
However, he says that Russians are now using typewriters to prevent ‘U.S. spyware which could hack into their systems’.
Mr Parkes was democratically elected to Whitby Town Council in February 2012.

Has he met Dracula yet ?

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

Has he met Dracula yet ?

No mate, he's too busy running Russia ;-)

 

[summerisle]

No mate, he's too busy running Russia ;-)

It's getting late, isn't it ?