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Not Safe For Work! Spurty's Newsround

Spurty's Newsround

  • Screw John Craven this is the dogs

    Votes: 8 25.8%
  • Screw John Craven because his jumpers really turn me on

    Votes: 9 29.0%
  • John Craven is Toast

    Votes: 14 45.2%

  • Total voters
    31
Status
Not open for further replies.
*based in the USA :eek:
indeedy, would quite like to know which stele that is so I can find a photo of the Hieroglyphics above it so I can just read what it is, but they conveniently omit that from the 'news' article.

Then again it's nowhere near as bad as some of the utter ill-informed guff that Zecharia Sitchin made up with his blatantly bollox translations from Sumerian. I'm absolutely fed up arguing with utter tosspots who can't even read Sumerian let alone have any understanding of Babylonian/Sumerian Mundane Astrology.
 
Last edited:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/lenin-lennon-ukraine-changes-street-7494510

From Lenin to Lennon: Ukraine changes street name from Russian tyrant to honour former Beatle

  • 14:17, 4 MAR 2016
  • UPDATED 14:20, 4 MAR 2016
  • BY SAM WEBB
The villagers of Kaliny - furious at the Russian-backed rebels took over the Crimean peninsula - have chosen to scrap a street name honouring the Communist leader
John-Lennon-UK-1971.jpg

In: John Lennon​
A street named after Russian dictator Vladimir Lenin is being changed to honour former Beatle John Lennon.
The villagers of Kaliny in the Zakarpattia Oblast region - furious at the Russian-backed rebels took over the Crimean peninsula - have chosen to scrap a street name honouring the Communist leader and instead commemorate the peace-loving writer of 'Imagine'.
Regional governor Hennadiy Moskal is said to have initiated the change as part of a programme to wipe out all Russian communist place names.
Ukrainian president Petro Poroshenko passed new laws in last year ordering public officials to remove all statues, monuments and place names linked to the Soviet regime.
A list of more than 900 towns and villages currently named after Soviet figures has been drafted.
Vladimir-Ilich-Lenin-Russian-Bolshevik-leader-23-April-1920.jpg

Out: Vladimir Ilich Lenin​
News of the change to celebrate former Beatle John emerged on the Kaliny village website.
One user said: "It is more modern but it will help people because they (Lenin and Lennon) sound so similar."
Violation of the new law carries a penalty of a potential media ban and a prison sentence of up to five years.
 
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/lenin-lennon-ukraine-changes-street-7494510

From Lenin to Lennon: Ukraine changes street name from Russian tyrant to honour former Beatle

  • 14:17, 4 MAR 2016
  • UPDATED 14:20, 4 MAR 2016
  • BY SAM WEBB
The villagers of Kaliny - furious at the Russian-backed rebels took over the Crimean peninsula - have chosen to scrap a street name honouring the Communist leader
John-Lennon-UK-1971.jpg

In: John Lennon​
A street named after Russian dictator Vladimir Lenin is being changed to honour former Beatle John Lennon.
The villagers of Kaliny in the Zakarpattia Oblast region - furious at the Russian-backed rebels took over the Crimean peninsula - have chosen to scrap a street name honouring the Communist leader and instead commemorate the peace-loving writer of 'Imagine'.
Regional governor Hennadiy Moskal is said to have initiated the change as part of a programme to wipe out all Russian communist place names.
Ukrainian president Petro Poroshenko passed new laws in last year ordering public officials to remove all statues, monuments and place names linked to the Soviet regime.
A list of more than 900 towns and villages currently named after Soviet figures has been drafted.
Vladimir-Ilich-Lenin-Russian-Bolshevik-leader-23-April-1920.jpg

Out: Vladimir Ilich Lenin​
News of the change to celebrate former Beatle John emerged on the Kaliny village website.
One user said: "It is more modern but it will help people because they (Lenin and Lennon) sound so similar."
Violation of the new law carries a penalty of a potential media ban and a prison sentence of up to five years.
Morning mate
 

An Uncanny Likeness!

http://www.express.co.uk/news/weird...f-Hitler-lived-to-95-with-his-Brazilian-lover

The INCREDIBLE picture that 'proves' Adolf Hitler lived to 95 with his Brazilian lover

THIS is the picture that proves Adolf Hitler did not die in his bunker and escaped to Brazil where he lived to the ripe old age of 95, a Nazi-hunting author claims.
By GARETH MORGAN
PUBLISHED: 10:43, Sat, Mar 5, 2016 | UPDATED: 19:55, Sat, Mar 5, 2016

adolf-hitler-brazilian-lover-455810.jpg

The grainy image said to show Hitler with his lover​

The evil dictator fled to Paraguay, via Argentina, before settling in a small town in the state of Mato Grosso, Brazil, according to a shocking book.
Hitler is said to have used the assumed name of Adolf Leipzig and was known to the 12,000 locals in Nossa Senhora do Livramento as "the Old German".
The man at the centre of the controversial claim is pictured, two years before his death in 1984, posing happily with his black girlfriend Cutinga.
Simoni Renee Guerreiro Dias, who wrote Hitler in Brazil - His Life and His Death, claims he was in the area hunting for buried treasure using a map given to him by friends withing the Vatican.
She insists that Hitler was using his lover Cutinga to hide his true identity as a vile Aryan supremacist.
Simoni, a Brazilian jew, refuses to accept that the Fuhrer shot himself in his Berlin bunker on April 30 1945. She is demanding that Leipzig's remains be exhumed and his DNA tested tested against living relatives of Hitler.
She told local journalists: "I just laughed at first, I thought it was a joke. Today I'm convinced it is true and Adolf Hitler didn't end up here by chance."
Simoni spent two years in the small town near the Bolivian border, which was founded during an 18th century gold rush, investigating her oddball theory.
She has linked the Fuhrer's alleged arrival in the area to a Vatican offer of ownership rights over buried Jesuit treasure in a cave near his adopted home.
And she claims that he chose the surname of Leipzig because it was the birthplace of Hitler's favourite composer, Bach.

hitler-415762.jpg

Adolf Hitler
Her suspicions about Adolf Leipzig increased after she Photoshopped a moustache onto the grainy picture she obtained of him and compared it to photos of the Nazi leader.
According to Simoni, an unidentified Polish nun recognised an elderly man due to have an op at a hospital in Cuiaba in the early eighties as Hitler and demanded he leave - but was reprimanded by a superior who claimed he was there on Vatican orders.
Conspiracy theorists have long argued Hitler escaped from Germany and fled to south America, following fellow Nazis Adolf Eichmann and Josef Mengele.
This theory became the centre of a fresh row last year when two British authors were accused of plagiarism by a journalist in Argentina.
Gerrard Williams and Simon Dunstan claimed in a 2011 book Grey Wolf: The Escape of Adolf Hitler, that the Fuhrer fled with his mistress Eva Braun to Patagonia and had two daughters before dying in 1962 aged 73.
The book was later made into a documentary film. Argentine journalist accused the British pair of using his research to substantiate claims made in the book, a charge Williams and Dunstan denied.
The claims about Hitler's life in Argentina were ridiculed by historian Guy Walters, who described them as "2,000 per cent rubbish" when the book came out.
He added: "It's an absolute disgrace. There's no substance to it at all. It appeals to the deluded fantasies of conspiracy theorists and has no place whatsoever in historical research."

Academics in Brazil have also rubbished the theory Hitler lived and died in Nossa Senhora do Livramento.
Candido Moreira Rodrigues, a history professor at Mato Grosso's Federal University said: "There's nothing new in people who claim to be historians coming up with the most far-reaching theories about Hitler supposedly living in south America and subsequently dying in one of the countries in this region."
Tens of thousands of Nazis escaped after the war, including the notorious Adolf Eichmann and Josef Mengele.
Investigators probing Hitler's demise were hampered by the lack of any physical evidence for his death.

hitler-415774.jpg

The claims were made in a book about Adolf Hitler​

Fantasists were given added ammunition he didn't die in his Berlin bunker when 2009 DNA tests on skull fragments found near the bunker and believed to be his, turned out to belong to a woman.
Rochus Misch, a former bodyguard of Adolf Hitler who has been named as the last man to see the Fuhrer alive during his final hours in Germany, died last September aged 96.
Misch, who lived with Hitler and his mistress in their underground refuge as the allies closed in, told before his death he saw Hitler slumped with his head on the table after hearing a gunshot behind his closed door.
 
http://news.sky.com/story/1654213/truck-driving-dog-leaves-trail-of-destruction

Truck-Driving Dog Leaves Trail Of Destruction


The golden Labrador knocks the lorry into gear, driving it across a Minnesota street, over a curb and towards a petrol station.
19:43, UK,Saturday 05 March 2016

56da1b01a8c4d.image-2-736x414.jpg

The golden Labrador looking sheepish behind the wheel.​

By Sky News US Team

A dog who decided to teach himself a new trick has left a trail of destruction after jumping behind the wheel of his owner's lorry.
The golden Labrador retriever appeared to drive the truck across a road on Friday afternoon in the US state of Minnesota, witnesses said.
The human driver had left the unoccupied vehicle running in a nearby car park.
Mankato police say the lorry ploughed through the car park, across the street and over a curb after it was apparently knocked into gear.
It reportedly hit a tree and then crashed into a parked car.
Customers at a Kwik Trip petrol station watched in alarm as the truck drove towards them only to stop before more chaos could be unleashed.
The Free Press of Mankato reports a passerby discovered the dog sitting in the driver's seat when he jumped into the truck to stop it.
 

'Psychic stripper' can tell what men are thinking whilst she dances!!




http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/psychic-stripper-jade-paris-hawkins-10996419


'Psychic stripper' Jade Paris Hawkins in pole position
  • 18:25, 5 MAR 2016
  • UPDATED 18:55, 5 MAR 2016
Blonde bombshell says cheeky punters can expect X Files-style retribution
JS84186634.jpg

Jade Paris Hawkins says she has X Files-style powers.
A stripper has another G-string to her bow - after revealing she put the X-rated into X Files by developing psychic powers.
Curvy blonde Jade Paris Hawkins says she can read the minds of punters who watch her work the pole at a string of Black Country clubs.
She also claims to have telekinetic powers and can see into the future.

JS84186643.jpg

But there’s a downside - the 22-year-old, from Brownhills , says she is cursed by a “Carrie”-like ability to inflict psychic retribution.
The former hairdresser, who has earned as much as £400 in one night at lapdancing clubs, says stripping has given her the power to get in touch with the other side.
Her future is now in the lapdance of the Gods.
Jade also claims stripping in public helped her regain self-esteem after online bullying and gave her the motivation to beat a cannabis addiction.
Speaking from her flat, Jade, who has taken centre stage at Walsall’s Club X and Sinderellas, Wolverhampton , said: “Lap-dancing has given me the confidence.
“I was a shy girl and I’ve perked-up.
“I couldn’t climb the pole to start with.
"I wouldn’t say anything because some of the girls have very big personalities.
"Now I’m confident and I will take my clothes off with confidence.
“I’m a hustler and a diva.
"It’s like a drug.”
The job has also unleashed Jade’s psychic abilities.
She said: “What has happened is weird, it’s like some kind of film.
"Every night there are strange sounds in the flat.”
Jade alleges punters who have disrespected her in the clubs have received psychic retribution.
A BMW she blew on crashed, though the driver escaped unharmed.
Two people who bullied her online were both involved in serious accidents.
Items moved in her flat during a ceremony that involved salt and candles.
She made lights in her house brighten and dim through the power of thought.
Jade turned to stripping last year, much to the disgust of her mother.
“She kicked me out when she found out what I was doing,” she said.
“You can earn £20 in a night or £400.
“I hate it when it’s quiet.
“I was spending £20-a-day on cannabis and it was definitely pulling me down and making me put on weight.
"I began doing it as a kid and didn’t stop.
"It didn’t lead to any trouble, alcohol is worse.
"But it was making me tired.
"Thanks to stripping, I’ve cleaned-up.”
Jade said she endured physical and online bullying, but the future looks brighter - and she should know.
“I’m a nice person and I deserve nice things to happen after what I’ve been through.”
But at the moment Jade is wrestling her psychic abilities with baring all in public.
She admits to being very much an apprentice when it comes to telekenisis.
“I haven’t really moved anything, yet,” she muttered.
 

'Psychic stripper' can tell what men are thinking whilst she dances!!



http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/psychic-stripper-jade-paris-hawkins-10996419


'Psychic stripper' Jade Paris Hawkins in pole position
  • 18:25, 5 MAR 2016
  • UPDATED 18:55, 5 MAR 2016
Blonde bombshell says cheeky punters can expect X Files-style retribution
JS84186634.jpg

Jade Paris Hawkins says she has X Files-style powers.
A stripper has another G-string to her bow - after revealing she put the X-rated into X Files by developing psychic powers.
Curvy blonde Jade Paris Hawkins says she can read the minds of punters who watch her work the pole at a string of Black Country clubs.
She also claims to have telekinetic powers and can see into the future.

JS84186643.jpg

But there’s a downside - the 22-year-old, from Brownhills , says she is cursed by a “Carrie”-like ability to inflict psychic retribution.
The former hairdresser, who has earned as much as £400 in one night at lapdancing clubs, says stripping has given her the power to get in touch with the other side.
Her future is now in the lapdance of the Gods.
Jade also claims stripping in public helped her regain self-esteem after online bullying and gave her the motivation to beat a cannabis addiction.
Speaking from her flat, Jade, who has taken centre stage at Walsall’s Club X and Sinderellas, Wolverhampton , said: “Lap-dancing has given me the confidence.
“I was a shy girl and I’ve perked-up.
“I couldn’t climb the pole to start with.
"I wouldn’t say anything because some of the girls have very big personalities.
"Now I’m confident and I will take my clothes off with confidence.
“I’m a hustler and a diva.
"It’s like a drug.”
The job has also unleashed Jade’s psychic abilities.
She said: “What has happened is weird, it’s like some kind of film.
"Every night there are strange sounds in the flat.”
Jade alleges punters who have disrespected her in the clubs have received psychic retribution.
A BMW she blew on crashed, though the driver escaped unharmed.
Two people who bullied her online were both involved in serious accidents.
Items moved in her flat during a ceremony that involved salt and candles.
She made lights in her house brighten and dim through the power of thought.
Jade turned to stripping last year, much to the disgust of her mother.
“She kicked me out when she found out what I was doing,” she said.
“You can earn £20 in a night or £400.
“I hate it when it’s quiet.
“I was spending £20-a-day on cannabis and it was definitely pulling me down and making me put on weight.
"I began doing it as a kid and didn’t stop.
"It didn’t lead to any trouble, alcohol is worse.
"But it was making me tired.
"Thanks to stripping, I’ve cleaned-up.”
Jade said she endured physical and online bullying, but the future looks brighter - and she should know.
“I’m a nice person and I deserve nice things to happen after what I’ve been through.”
But at the moment Jade is wrestling her psychic abilities with baring all in public.
She admits to being very much an apprentice when it comes to telekenisis.
“I haven’t really moved anything, yet,” she muttered.
I must confess , I never read any of that sheet after her tits ! Sorry mods, knockers!
 
An Uncanny Likeness!

http://www.express.co.uk/news/weird...f-Hitler-lived-to-95-with-his-Brazilian-lover

The INCREDIBLE picture that 'proves' Adolf Hitler lived to 95 with his Brazilian lover

THIS is the picture that proves Adolf Hitler did not die in his bunker and escaped to Brazil where he lived to the ripe old age of 95, a Nazi-hunting author claims.
By GARETH MORGAN
PUBLISHED: 10:43, Sat, Mar 5, 2016 | UPDATED: 19:55, Sat, Mar 5, 2016

adolf-hitler-brazilian-lover-455810.jpg

The grainy image said to show Hitler with his lover​

The evil dictator fled to Paraguay, via Argentina, before settling in a small town in the state of Mato Grosso, Brazil, according to a shocking book.
Hitler is said to have used the assumed name of Adolf Leipzig and was known to the 12,000 locals in Nossa Senhora do Livramento as "the Old German".
The man at the centre of the controversial claim is pictured, two years before his death in 1984, posing happily with his black girlfriend Cutinga.
Simoni Renee Guerreiro Dias, who wrote Hitler in Brazil - His Life and His Death, claims he was in the area hunting for buried treasure using a map given to him by friends withing the Vatican.
She insists that Hitler was using his lover Cutinga to hide his true identity as a vile Aryan supremacist.
Simoni, a Brazilian jew, refuses to accept that the Fuhrer shot himself in his Berlin bunker on April 30 1945. She is demanding that Leipzig's remains be exhumed and his DNA tested tested against living relatives of Hitler.
She told local journalists: "I just laughed at first, I thought it was a joke. Today I'm convinced it is true and Adolf Hitler didn't end up here by chance."
Simoni spent two years in the small town near the Bolivian border, which was founded during an 18th century gold rush, investigating her oddball theory.
She has linked the Fuhrer's alleged arrival in the area to a Vatican offer of ownership rights over buried Jesuit treasure in a cave near his adopted home.
And she claims that he chose the surname of Leipzig because it was the birthplace of Hitler's favourite composer, Bach.

hitler-415762.jpg

Adolf Hitler
Her suspicions about Adolf Leipzig increased after she Photoshopped a moustache onto the grainy picture she obtained of him and compared it to photos of the Nazi leader.
According to Simoni, an unidentified Polish nun recognised an elderly man due to have an op at a hospital in Cuiaba in the early eighties as Hitler and demanded he leave - but was reprimanded by a superior who claimed he was there on Vatican orders.
Conspiracy theorists have long argued Hitler escaped from Germany and fled to south America, following fellow Nazis Adolf Eichmann and Josef Mengele.
This theory became the centre of a fresh row last year when two British authors were accused of plagiarism by a journalist in Argentina.
Gerrard Williams and Simon Dunstan claimed in a 2011 book Grey Wolf: The Escape of Adolf Hitler, that the Fuhrer fled with his mistress Eva Braun to Patagonia and had two daughters before dying in 1962 aged 73.
The book was later made into a documentary film. Argentine journalist accused the British pair of using his research to substantiate claims made in the book, a charge Williams and Dunstan denied.
The claims about Hitler's life in Argentina were ridiculed by historian Guy Walters, who described them as "2,000 per cent rubbish" when the book came out.
He added: "It's an absolute disgrace. There's no substance to it at all. It appeals to the deluded fantasies of conspiracy theorists and has no place whatsoever in historical research."

Academics in Brazil have also rubbished the theory Hitler lived and died in Nossa Senhora do Livramento.
Candido Moreira Rodrigues, a history professor at Mato Grosso's Federal University said: "There's nothing new in people who claim to be historians coming up with the most far-reaching theories about Hitler supposedly living in south America and subsequently dying in one of the countries in this region."
Tens of thousands of Nazis escaped after the war, including the notorious Adolf Eichmann and Josef Mengele.
Investigators probing Hitler's demise were hampered by the lack of any physical evidence for his death.

hitler-415774.jpg

The claims were made in a book about Adolf Hitler​

Fantasists were given added ammunition he didn't die in his Berlin bunker when 2009 DNA tests on skull fragments found near the bunker and believed to be his, turned out to belong to a woman.
Rochus Misch, a former bodyguard of Adolf Hitler who has been named as the last man to see the Fuhrer alive during his final hours in Germany, died last September aged 96.
Misch, who lived with Hitler and his mistress in their underground refuge as the allies closed in, told before his death he saw Hitler slumped with his head on the table after hearing a gunshot behind his closed door.
Herr Hitler's favourite composer was Wagner - nil points
 
http://www.warringtonguardian.co.uk...heels_appears_in_front_of_Lower_Walton_shops/

Giant pair of high heels appears in front of Lower Walton shops

4740409.jpg

A giant pair of high heels has appeared on Gainsborough Road, causing a stir amongst passers-by.​

A GIANT pair of high heels has appeared in front of shops in Lower Walton in mysterious circumstances.
The huge pair of red heels were dropped off outside the Caci Room by delivery men on Gainsborough Road at 10am this morning.
Mark Peacock, the owner of neighbouring Stockton Heath Kitchens, spotted the fetching pair of shoes being delivered.

He said: “I don’t know why they’re there but it’s causing a lot of traffic to stop and take photographs.
“They appeared this morning and that’s all we know really – I had no idea what they were when they were being delivered.
“All the neighbours have been taking photographs but I’ve been told someone is putting a complaint in to the councillors.
“It could cause problems if it is attracting kids as you can climb inside them.”

4740416.jpg

Wendy Cliffe, owner of the Caci Room, said they belonged to the beauty salon’s landlord.
She said: “They’re a talking point, that’s for sure.
“They actually belong to the landlord who lives upstairs and made them out of concrete.
“I think they look very good but some of the neighbours aren’t that happy.
“They’ve had a lot of funny looks from people going past and a lot of people are thinking that they’re ours because we’re a beauty salon but they’re not.”
Landlord Kelvin Smith said they were an advertisement for his garden ornaments business and hoped it would be in place for around a month.
 
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/snow-patrol-overweight-cops-ordered-7503149

Snow patrol as overweight cops ordered to lose weight by going SLEDGING and building SNOWMEN

  • 20:30, 5 MAR 2016
A bizarre guide has been issued to officers in the Met in a bid to target the 'blobby bobby' crisis
A-policeman-sliding-in-the-snow.jpg

On the beat: 'Race you back to the canteen, sarge'​

Overweight police officers in Britain’s biggest force have told to lose weight - by moving furniture around, washing windows, tobogganing and building a snowman.
The tips are contained in a five point fitness plan issued to the Metropolitan Police’s31,400 officers this month in staff magazine The Job.
The guide was compiled by the Met’s new fitness guru, Sean Burgess - a former NHSnurse and safety advisor to BP who is now the force’s head of occupational health.
The five point plan is introduced to officers in jokey style, in a piece which begins: “Exercise? Who has time for it?”

Met-Police-magazine-The-Job.jpg

Tips: The advice to officers is in the latest edition of Met Police magazine 'The Job'​
It then recommends: “Chores! Many household jobs involve moving, stretching, lifting and carrying. Do some cleaning by moving furniture or washing the windows. “
It goes on to suggest taking up sport, and walking the dog, before adding: “Have a trampoline in the garden or basketball net.”
Finally officers are advised: “Have snowball fights, build a snowman or do some tobogganing.”

A police source said: “Clearly officers need to be physically fit but this advice seems more like something you would give to kids, not seasoned coppers working to catch some of Britain’s toughest criminals.
“To be honest, most officers would struggle to find the time, or appropriate conditions, to go tobogganing.”
Officers from a separate force received an official rebuke for tobogganing while apparently on duty.
In 2010 four cops from Thames Valley Police were warned by their boss after a video was uploaded to YouTube showing them going downhill in the snow Oxford.
Their superintendent, Andrew Murray, said at the time: ”I have reminded them in no uncertain terms that tobogganing on duty, on police equipment and at taxpayers’ expense, is a very bad idea should they wish to progress under my command.”

Other footage emerged showing a Met cop going down a snow-covered Hampstead Heath on a riot shield.
Over the past two years the Sunday People has used Freedom of Information laws to reveal the number of officers failing ‘bleep’ fitness tests, and told how police canteen menus are packed with fatty foods.
It also follows a complaint by Met chief Sir Bernard Hogan that he was fed up with seeing cops who were too fat to give chase to suspects.
Sir Bernard raised eyebrows when he said: “I think you’ve got a duty to your colleagues.
“If they shout for help, they want fit people to come. They don’t want somebody waddling down the road who’s never going to arrive, and when they get there they’re out of breath.”
Overweight-policemen.jpg

Tight fit: Police have to undergo new fitness tests introduced two years ago​
Some 382 Met cops failed fitness tests from December 2014 to December 2015, according to figures published this week. A total of 25,013 were tested.
Official guidelines released by the Yard show those who fail at the first attempt are given a six to 10 week physical training programme ahead of a re-test.
Officers can fail three further tests before they are recommended for dismissal.
 
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/snow-patrol-overweight-cops-ordered-7503149

Snow patrol as overweight cops ordered to lose weight by going SLEDGING and building SNOWMEN

  • 20:30, 5 MAR 2016
A bizarre guide has been issued to officers in the Met in a bid to target the 'blobby bobby' crisis
A-policeman-sliding-in-the-snow.jpg

On the beat: 'Race you back to the canteen, sarge'​

Overweight police officers in Britain’s biggest force have told to lose weight - by moving furniture around, washing windows, tobogganing and building a snowman.
The tips are contained in a five point fitness plan issued to the Metropolitan Police’s31,400 officers this month in staff magazine The Job.
The guide was compiled by the Met’s new fitness guru, Sean Burgess - a former NHSnurse and safety advisor to BP who is now the force’s head of occupational health.
The five point plan is introduced to officers in jokey style, in a piece which begins: “Exercise? Who has time for it?”

Met-Police-magazine-The-Job.jpg

Tips: The advice to officers is in the latest edition of Met Police magazine 'The Job'​
It then recommends: “Chores! Many household jobs involve moving, stretching, lifting and carrying. Do some cleaning by moving furniture or washing the windows. “
It goes on to suggest taking up sport, and walking the dog, before adding: “Have a trampoline in the garden or basketball net.”
Finally officers are advised: “Have snowball fights, build a snowman or do some tobogganing.”

A police source said: “Clearly officers need to be physically fit but this advice seems more like something you would give to kids, not seasoned coppers working to catch some of Britain’s toughest criminals.
“To be honest, most officers would struggle to find the time, or appropriate conditions, to go tobogganing.”
Officers from a separate force received an official rebuke for tobogganing while apparently on duty.
In 2010 four cops from Thames Valley Police were warned by their boss after a video was uploaded to YouTube showing them going downhill in the snow Oxford.
Their superintendent, Andrew Murray, said at the time: ”I have reminded them in no uncertain terms that tobogganing on duty, on police equipment and at taxpayers’ expense, is a very bad idea should they wish to progress under my command.”

Other footage emerged showing a Met cop going down a snow-covered Hampstead Heath on a riot shield.
Over the past two years the Sunday People has used Freedom of Information laws to reveal the number of officers failing ‘bleep’ fitness tests, and told how police canteen menus are packed with fatty foods.
It also follows a complaint by Met chief Sir Bernard Hogan that he was fed up with seeing cops who were too fat to give chase to suspects.
Sir Bernard raised eyebrows when he said: “I think you’ve got a duty to your colleagues.
“If they shout for help, they want fit people to come. They don’t want somebody waddling down the road who’s never going to arrive, and when they get there they’re out of breath.”
Overweight-policemen.jpg

Tight fit: Police have to undergo new fitness tests introduced two years ago​
Some 382 Met cops failed fitness tests from December 2014 to December 2015, according to figures published this week. A total of 25,013 were tested.
Official guidelines released by the Yard show those who fail at the first attempt are given a six to 10 week physical training programme ahead of a re-test.
Officers can fail three further tests before they are recommended for dismissal.
The state of those 3 scruffs there!
 

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