Terrible hotels/hostels you've stayed in

[JimmyJeffers]

I did similar on my first night working in Greece
Woke up with a shiner and a mattress with a 6 foot pi55 stain
Tried to swap it with the neighbouring room but the cleaner caught me snd threw me out.
I’d only been there for about three hours

You should have messaged me. My advice would be to wallow in your own urine until you are absolutely certain the coast is clear. Even chat away to people in your bunk.

 

[canuckblue]

On my trip to the Philippines a few years ago I stayed in some pretty primitive accommodation -- toilets (often without paper; one learned quickly to always have a packet of tissues on hand) you had to ladle water into in order to flush them, "showers" that were just other barrels of water with a ladle, mosquito netting (on the banana boat cruise in the western islands). Thing was, I expected as much as we were roughing it. But there were new hotels in fairly large towns that didn't even have towels and getting some proved to be the mother of all hassles.

 

[witchdoc187]

Got dropped off in Guatemala city in the night. Was chucking with rain and had to go to nearest place. Really dodgy looking guys, sat outside the front of what was basically a car park and the rooms were like little garages. Asked for key and he said you can't lock the doors. Went in, cockroaches everywhere. Sheets were filthy, condom under the bed. Wife was telling me to go find a shop. Because we hadn't eaten or drank for ages. So eventually I went out, only time I ever felt a little scared in central America. Dodgy as hell, managed to get some crisps and water from shop. In the night it rained so hard the water soaked the floor so had to put her bags in this disgusting sink. Could hear couple shagging next door. Storm was awful.. Water running all down the walls. £2 a night. Best value I've ever had

 

[witchdoc187]

Stayed on a mattress on the floor with 2 strangers in a Bangkok hostel once.
Have spent nights in some hell holes. On the Perhentian islands in Malaysia (unbelievably beautiful place btw) couldn’t get anywhere to stay apart from this ‘jungle hostel’ shared a bed with a German guy. The shower was a corrugated iron shack out house. Was sitting out on the balcony thinking to myself ‘ah this isn’t so bad’ when I felt a presence to my right. I looked and it was a massive reptile tail. Looked up and a huge lizard is crawling over the ceiling above me. No sleep that night. No idea what kind of lizard it was.

I was really stoned walking in a park in Mexico and heard this thing like a suit of armour stomping towards me, there was a massive lizard like a stegasaurus just walking through the park..I thought it had escaped from a zoo but nobody batted an eyelid.

 

[witchdoc187]

On my trip to the Philippines a few years ago I stayed in some pretty primitive accommodation -- toilets (often without paper; one learned quickly to always have a packet of tissues on hand) you had to ladle water into in order to flush them, "showers" that were just other barrels of water with a ladle, mosquito netting (on the banana boat cruise in the western islands). Thing was, I expected as much as we were roughing it. But there were new hotels in fairly large towns that didn't even have towels and getting some proved to be the mother of all hassles.

Towels? Haha you should try spending a year in central America staying in hostels.

 

[witchdoc187]

Stayed in a hostel in LA once. This lad was so drunk he kept thinking I was German. He wet himself then when I went to the toilet he started trying to swap mattresses thinking I couldn't see. He was so drunk he swapped it over twice and slept in his own urine.

 

[Methuselah]

Was in Atlanta on business, me and two other guys. We were staying at a Howard Johnson hotel. When we booked in the woman on reception said 'who has got the ground floor room'? I confirmed it was me. She said 'your room looks out onto the car park. Make sure the glass door next to the window is locked as we had a policeman shot and killed in the car park last week'.

 

[davids]

Not a hostel as such,but anyone who stayed in a Butlins or Pontins holiday camp in the 70s would wish you hadn't.

 

[Methuselah]

Not a hostel as such,but anyone who stayed in a Butlins or Pontins holiday camp in the 70s would wish you hadn't.

Stayed in one (Butlins Skegness) in 1957. It wasn't too bad but maybe that was because I had just been demobbed from the army after doing National Service! The accommodation and food were slightly better than what the army provided.

 

[KaiserEFC]

Stayed in one in Birmingham for uni once. Few of us got a deal because our uni course was for a few week blocks. Room was basic but alright however the hostel was full of really friendly women who didn’t speak much English and shady looking Eastern European men. Took us a while to realise it was a knocking shop. One day we came down and all hell had broken loose because one of the girls had gone missing. We cleared out sharpish and found out later she was found further on down the road dead in a bin.

Place I stayed in after clearly had a weed farm in the loft and had a bloke picked up from ISIS next door. It was just off the Hagley road about 50m away from a really affluent residential area.

 

[Paris]

Pretty certain @Paris and @Diogenes the Cynic can contribute to this thread

I don't want to talk about it.

 

[JimmyJeffers]

I got absolutely steaming in Vancouver with a guy from Luton. I realised I was gonna spew back at the hostel. There were 2 cubicles, one was blocked so I was on all fours puking like mad in the other when an Aussie lad had decided to use the blocked one. Last words I remember were ‘sorry mate’ as he flushed the chain and I found myself crawling around in toilet water.
managed to crawl to a shower cubicle and lay there for an hour with the shower running. Hostel was quite nice actually. 3 stars

 

[Paris]

Only two come to mind, tbh.

One time at a OYO Hotel in Kolkata - the beds were filthy, itchy, stained. A pity really as the room itself was nice. Also one of the hotel staff there didn't talk much, he just grunted. 'What's the breakfast?' I asked... 'GRUNT' he replied'.

Also, another time in Hanoi. The room was full of ants, thankfully I was a hotels.com gold member so they paid for me to move to a very nice hotel indeed.

 

[Billy Dean]

I was really stoned walking in a park in Mexico and heard this thing like a suit of armour stomping towards me, there was a massive lizard like a stegasaurus just walking through the park..I thought it had escaped from a zoo but nobody batted an eyelid.

Stayed in a guesthouse in Venezuela and there was a cockroach so big you could hear it’s little footsteps as it scuttled out of the room.

 

[big nev lookalike]

Part of my Union rep duties ( I was the Group Treasurer) in my previous job was that I booked all the travel and hotels for reps who needed to travel to Attend meetings. One of our reps from Swansea was due to attend a meeting at out Gloucester office. I found a hotel that looked nice, reasonable price, Breakfast included, so I booked him in. He rang me a few days later. Don't ever book me in that Effing hotel again. What's up Pete, was it really bad, was the breakfast rubbish? No it was lovely the food was great, the staff were lovely, just don't ever book me in again. Why not? Did you effing Google it first? No, why would I. Turns out it is reputedly one of the most haunted hotels in Britain. He said that at 3 am his wardrobe doors flew open, banged shut again, then did it two times more at about 10 minute intervals. The windows were shut, he said, there was no draught. I never slept after that, nearly sh*t myself. Don't book me in again.

If you are interested it's The New Inn Gloucester. !5th Century Grade 1 Listed building.

Fred West used to do building work in there.....