"I found myself in one of best karaoke bars in Manilla, 4 tequila sunrises in, when a VERY well known babe from the local party scene joins me.
77 bloody Marys and a g&t later, she suggests going somewhere more lively. She's got a friend who is very interested in comparing how many foreign sexual conquests we've had.
Off we go yo the bar and meet the friend 887 white Russians are consumed (never done one of THOSE, natch). I'm regaling the ladies. The well known one is hot but her friend is a bit of a boot. Claims she's had 56 Danish and 103 French. Can only because she puts out lots. Someone suggests a threesome, but the ugly one reckons she doesn't need another of my sort on her list.
Drink another 999 whisky sodas and pass out over my laptop showing a half completed sex lie post on GOT..."
"...I unzipped and hoisted out my 27cm manhood. It was semi-stiff despite the 44 shots of Goldschlager I did with the pool boy. pretty sure he nicked my 47,000$ white gold Daytona. Will have to stop by the Rolex dealer tomorrow. Later was taking a steam with some stewardess with fake tits who claimed to fly for Cathay Pacific but probably was more like Lion Air. My phone was buzzing with messages from mum...my sis just had her 2nd baby. She wants me to come home but I'll never leave the bustle of Macau...despite being mugged 48 times and chased by an angry scooter gang..."