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The bomb shelter thread.

"I found myself in one of best karaoke bars in Manilla, 4 tequila sunrises in, when a VERY well known babe from the local party scene joins me.

77 bloody Marys and a g&t later, she suggests going somewhere more lively. She's got a friend who is very interested in comparing how many foreign sexual conquests we've had.

Off we go yo the bar and meet the friend 887 white Russians are consumed (never done one of THOSE, natch). I'm regaling the ladies. The well known one is hot but her friend is a bit of a boot. Claims she's had 56 Danish and 103 French. Can only because she puts out lots. Someone suggests a threesome, but the ugly one reckons she doesn't need another of my sort on her list.

Drink another 999 whisky sodas and pass out over my laptop showing a half completed sex lie post on GOT..."

"...I unzipped and hoisted out my 27cm manhood. It was semi-stiff despite the 44 shots of Goldschlager I did with the pool boy. pretty sure he nicked my 47,000$ white gold Daytona. Will have to stop by the Rolex dealer tomorrow. Later was taking a steam with some stewardess with fake tits who claimed to fly for Cathay Pacific but probably was more like Lion Air. My phone was buzzing with messages from mum...my sis just had her 2nd baby. She wants me to come home but I'll never leave the bustle of Macau...despite being mugged 48 times and chased by an angry scooter gang..."
 
"...I unzipped and hoisted out my 27cm manhood. It was semi-stiff despite the 44 shots of Goldschlager I did with the pool boy. pretty sure he nicked my 47,000$ white gold Daytona. Will have to stop by the Rolex dealer tomorrow. Later was taking a steam with some stewardess with fake tits who claimed to fly for Cathay Pacific but probably was more like Lion Air. My phone was buzzing with messages from mum...my sis just had her 2nd baby. She wants me to come home but I'll never leave the bustle of Macau...despite being mugged 48 times and chased by an angry scooter gang..."
"...the steam wasn't do anything for me, so I took a magnum of lightly sparking white wine, a Bohigas Reserva, with a pleasingly brioche-y tone and made my excuses and left. The attendant was quite cute, a hotter version of Mila Kunis and she instantly made a bee-line to me and started talking about her modelling career. I'd forgotten all about it, but earlier I left a bottle of Belvedere Vodka in my locker, the Methuselah 6 litre, the quadruple distilled spirit with water drawn from their own artesian wells makes a statement at any event, although I prefer to blend it with Ribena to mask the smell of my own sweat and desperation.

I didn't say anything to the attendant, but she had clocked the Remy Martin Louis XIII Baccarat Crystal Cognac that I always keep with me and was making plans for my evening. I was supposed to be meeting the lads, but she insisted on me getting a room. Luckily, we were just around the corner from the Conrad, where the receptionist keeps a suite back for me because we once had a threesome in a jacuzzi filled with Um-Bongo and Dom Perignon.

The hotel was five minutes walk, but before I could even make a start on the Kingston Black Organic Cider I was carrying the girl was dragging me into another bar to meet up with her actress friend and half the Argentinian ladies water polo team...
 



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