The new kitchen

[chrismpw]

That was great ... why was it edited short?

 

[Dixieslaces]

Harsh but possibly fair lol.

Im expecting a great reveal from @chrismpw similar to the Carol Smiley ones from changing rooms, give it time!

lets hope there are no Teapots involved

 

[Rita_Poon]

Where was I?

In May I started the new floor into the dining area- approx 10m long by 4m wide. Effectively its two rooms knocked into one which for sake of clarity we use as a dining room (middle if the house) and garden/hifi room with big doors to the garden and the kitchen off to one side. The three areas form a big open plan L shape. This is where the oak flooring was going (as well as, by this stage into the hall - did I mention that repainting the kitchen doors obviously meant reflooring the hall way? Obvious really - no need for me to bring it up.)

Also by this stage I'd hung two new windowed oak doors into the lounge and the hallway - because while we're watching a film, she's scrolling through her phone lookin at kitchen units and sees doors. I took a day trimming, planing and hanging each door, to get it exactly right.

Obviously with this new floor (she still hadn't decided on the kitchen yet) meant the two radiators needed replacing as well. Oh not just replacing ... how about putting them on a different wall. Obviously. You're probably painting a picture now of a wife who treats plumbed in appliances like a table and chairs which can be moved at will, and you'd be right. Trouble is I like a challenge so I go along with these mad stupid ideas.

The house had been extended circa 2000 by the then owner who, according to my neighbour, was a builder. This explains how the existing plumbing for the central heating system had been cobbled together with what the owner had clearly scavved off site. The radiator plumbing in the garden room was 10mm, the two pipes servicing the radiator in the dining area were 8mm and 5/16" creating a lot of work sourcing reducing fittings to attach the new radiators.

What's more - to save time and faff, I plumbed the radiators into a live undrained system. This went well using quick hands to cut pipe, a fat thumb to stop the water and a towel to soak up spills.... for three of the four pipes I had to cut. I had done those three connections in about twenty minutes. The fourth one took two of us about an hour to get a compression elbow onto the kinked stub of a pipe that only protruded the masonry by about half an inch, with around half an inch of free travel. Eventually we had two new radiators in their new positions, freeing up wall space for me to build a cabinet in the garden room ... lucky me!... who saw that coming?

I have no regrets that my thumb didn't always make a perfect seal on the pipe and that Mrs chrismpw may have got a few facefulls of black central heating water.

You've been a teacher?
You have never encountered a situation/person where they did the job badly, or very slowly, or so poorly it had to be redone? You're flying round like a turbo 'handy andy' and all it does is increase scope and time to dream up your next fiasco. I'd have put the rads up and not plumbed them in. I'd have also asked if the window was where the next rad was going - via the glass. I'd have chucked a collar on the small stub and bough some working room that way.
How long before you are extending and fitting out the loft? Building a 'granny flat' from scratch at the end of the garden (this might get sold to you under the auspices of a tool shed or wendy house to begin with)
Your chore list is giving me palpitations, how much longer can you soldier on (nearly went solder there) and early retirement sounds a laugh, tower of babel perhaps? international airport? docking hub for the starship enterprise?
Theres someone on here thats a dab hand with regression apparently, find out if she used to be Cleopatra....

 

[Rita_Poon]

With a new floor comes the hands an knees job of applying a nice hard wax finish .... and the trim for around the skirting boards, sawn from the (rejects of the) oak planking , routed into shape and mitre cut around every not-quite right angle of every bit of wall and buttress in the room.

The skirting boards were replaced too, along the walls where the radiators used to be boxed in because our previous owner, the builder, had obviously saved a couple of quid by not putting skirting in behind the radiators.

This was all done and finished in a week by the end if June. The kitchen dream had not yet been finalised let alone been committed to paper since the last debacle.

I say all this now because it is with a heavy heart that today I find myself destroying thus careful effort and lifting some of this new floor and removing the skirting boards. The reasons for this will become evident later.

"dance dance" (for my entertainment)

 

[Rita_Poon]

I think I tried to get a DIY thread going ages a go but no one was interested.. lol lol

Needed more oppression and possibly acid.

 

[Dixieslaces]

Way too distracted by this thread, do you not know Patterson is in dire need of a book of condolence and DCL is injured(Again FFS)

 

[Dixieslaces]

I'm retired, and while she's not looking I'm my own boss. I'm typing a bit every time I give myself a tea break.

Does Mrs Chris ever sleep?


must be bliss

 

[chrismpw]

Way too distracted by this thread, do you not know Patterson is in dire need of a book of condolence and Dominic Calvert-Lewin is injured(Again FFS)

I knew the former would happen before the game started, and I knew the latter was inevitable. I've been following Everton over 40 years ... I know the way things roll with us.

 

[DanB90]

Tldr:

Chris has a massive house and hates his wife.

 

[COYBL25]

Way too distracted by this thread, do you not know Patterson is in dire need of a book of condolence and Dominic Calvert-Lewin is injured(Again FFS)

Never fear, Dave the Purveyor of Doom is all over them.

A brief update :

DCL is booked into the abattoir on Prescot Road and it`s touch and go whether Patterson, will be fit for the next GB Paralympic footy World Cup Squad.

 

[chrismpw]

I'm taking a lot of tea breaks today. I should be in the North Sea on a cruise ship using s bargain break we found but the day before we were to embark we were hit with covid which I'm still sweating over. Smashing.

 

[Dixieslaces]

Never fear, Dave the Purveyor of Doom is all over them.

A brief update :

Dominic Calvert-Lewin is booked into the abattoir on Prescot Road and it`s touch and go whether Patterson, will be fit for the next GB Paralympic footy World Cup Squad.

My humble thanks for the succinct summary of what would have been a meandering walk through the mind of @davek

May DCL rest in pieces!

Will Patterson be allowed to compete for team GB, or will Dave veto this

 

[Dixieslaces]

I'm taking a lot of tea breaks today. I should be in the North Sea on a cruise ship using s bargain break we found but the day before we were to embark we were hit with covid which I'm still sweating over. Smashing.

in my mind im thinking


"you cant make this stuff up, comedy gold"

Covid aside, wish you a speedy recovery from whatever affliction Mrs Chris sends your way next!

Peace be with you Brother

 

[chrismpw]

Come August and Mrs chrismpw presents me with a drawing. It even has a couple of measurements on. I'm delighted, even if summer is almost over and in the meantime since seeing the last drawing, I'd entirely re-roofed the carport and workshop, installed a 14 panel solar array and EV charging point (no mean feat given the obstacles the government put in the way of you saving money).

I approve the plan, she orders some bloke in Sheffield to make some pine kitchen units (saves me a job ... did i mention that by this stage, just changing the cupboard doors wasn't good enough?). They'd be here by early September and jn fact as promised they're here now, filling the part of my workshop that was just cleared of oak flooring.

Part of the plan was for me to build an enormous floor to ceiling, wall long kitchen unit. I put an order in for £600 worth of oak faced ply and set to work pulling out that part of the kitchen. I spent the first two weeks of September measuring calculating and cutting the ply into the exact sizes if board i wanted. I routed channels and cut supports that would hold shelves and drawers.

Within a week "we" had a carcass of this big unit in place ... I would trim with solid oak and make drawers and doors later on. In the meantime we can empty our existing cupboards into it.

I re-routed electrics and tore down coving and skirting boards to expose the wall from top to bottom. We ordered a pelmet heater to replace the radiator in the kitchen that was "in the way" and I sourced yet more reducers to accommodate the different pipe sizes. She ordered an oven and hob (I contributed to this so that we wouldn't replace the good quality stuff we were discarding with cheap rubbish)

Things were moving at last, all was set. I'd sold the cooker on fb marketplace and have had interest in our existing units. Things were looking great apart from I couldn't fry bacon anymore.

It was the day I'd put the last piece of this kitchen unit in that she aired the idea*....

"Why don't 'we' put the kitchen in the dining area instead?"

*there's no such thing as an idea in this context. Perhaps now you can see I'm writing this chronicle as a therapy

 

[chrismpw]

in my mind im thinking


"you cant make this stuff up, comedy gold"

Covid aside, wish you a speedy recovery from whatever affliction Mrs Chris sends your way next!

Peace be with you Brother

Thanks. Covid hit me the very day I'd taken my last of three weeks of antibiotics to fight off a bladder infection. I've had better months if I'm honest.