Zatara
Player Valuation: £100m
Germany can hire whoever they like - they're still crashing out of their own party next summer before the real business begins. They simply do not have the players. The few who are technically good - Kimmich, Havertz, Sane - are either gutless, complacent, mentally weak, or a combination of all three. And most of the rest are second rate. Gösens is held up as a lad with a good attitude, but he's a donkey. The Japanese retired him tonight. The Germans have compounded this dearth of talent with a profound absence of leadership and a soupcon of complacency born of their exploits up to 2014. They've been in decline since that night in Rio, but have been congratulating themselves ever since and were still in denial even after the seismic capitulation in Russia, let alone the abject showing at Euro 2020 and the humiliation of Qatar.
10 months later? Nothing has been learned. Many of the same players who failed in Russia, at Wembley, and in Qatar are still around... What were they expecting? That Kimmich would start showing some leadership? He's more Scrappy-Doo, less Lothar Matthäus.
Living here in Berlin, the pfennig finally appears to have dropped for the public. Flick has to go - but replacing him is a gamble prompted by panic. There is no viable succession plan. France could absolutely humiliate them in Dortmund on Tuesday. That might actually be the best thing in the long run for German football, because the overweening sense of entitlement and self-regarding complacency that has infected German football over the last decade has corroded the short and medium-term future. They'll be waiting for their under-17 European champions to come through before they can hope to be contenders again.
Surely has to be Nagelsmann tasked to rebuild. Though another name might be Sammer...