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Transfer Rumour Wayne Rooney

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He's a genius that's capable of things no other player in our squad is and he's not too old to get back to something approaching his best, yet. Put simply, if we get anything near that level of performance out of him over the next couple of years, he'll go down as one of the best bits of business we've seen over the last 15 years and at the very least he'll be a considerable improvement on the players we have in his position, currently.
 
I think they should do it with "welcome home" by Peters and Lee in the background. But instead of Wayne nicking a bag of crisps like Lineker, there should be a fat bloke eating Fish and Chips outside the Famous Blue Star Chippy, and Wayne robs them off him and then legs it around the four stands of Goodison being chased by him, and perhaps a dog.
 

Please let it be one of those new videos where the camera pans about to build tension, but this time it leaves finch farm and ends up focusing on a glum Rooney sat in Maccies.

There will be nothing glum about him coming back from his perspective. He's wanted to come back for years. He'll be the very definition of chuffed.
 

I think they should do it with "welcome home" by Peters and Lee in the background. But instead of Wayne nicking a bag of crisps like Lineker, there should be a fat bloke eating Fish and Chips outside the Famous Blue Star Chippy, and Wayne robs them off him and then legs it around the four stands of Goodison being chased by him, and perhaps a dog.

...and injures himself, getting nicked while sullenly leaning against the building holding his foot.
 

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