Toffee in Jandals
Player Valuation: £35m
Funny. As in a work colleague I recently met for the first time.
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Whatever happened to normal names ?
- Thread starter Kurt.
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Funny. As in a work colleague I recently met for the first time.
bluejohn66
Player Valuation: £15m
Inappropriate Content
I remember the following LONG POST from years ago, think it was the kipper site....
Im feeling all angry about these modern day footballers, I know why They have gone all soft - It's because of poncy names. That's what it is.
Remember in the old days, when footy players kicked a f****g ball made out of ten pound of clay stitched inside a steel-reinforced leather shell with laces made out of piano wire? Well, in them days players could only survive the rigours of the game because they were called things like Albert, Arthur, Bert, Harry, Bill, Eddie, Bob, Jack and Tommy, F****g tough names for tough men, them was. And what do we have now ?
Jason, Wayne, Dean, Ryan, Jamie and Robbie. F****g tarts' names, they are, Great big f****g poofs...
No wonder the ball's like a f****g balloon and shin pads is like slices of bread. In the old days you never saw a Len Shackleton or a Billy Wright with a poofy little Sondico piece of paper down his little thin socks. F****g shin-pads in them days was made out of library books, and socks was like sack-cloth.
Same with the jerseys F****g shirts with holes in now so they can breathe. Yes, so that little Jody's hairless chest can breathe and he doesn't get a chill- F****g ponces the lot of them........Stanley Matthews used to dribble round Europe's finest wearing a f****g tent and shorts cobbled together from the jacket of his de-mob suit. Aye, he f****g did. No wonder players fall over all the time whenever An opponent comes anywhere near them. And they never used to show their
Arses at one another either. Can you imagine what might have happened if Don Revie had flashed his ring at Nat Lofthouse during a City-Bolton Wanderers game ? He'd have got one of them size-10 hobnail f*****s up his ba****d chuff.
F*****g therapy for stress my arse! Stan Collymore slaps his missus about and he takes three seasons off with stress counselling. What the [Poor language removed] is that all about? In the old days it was expected for footballers to belt the old sow about a bit, specially after a bad defeat. And the women used to expect it, and so they should have. They was lucky to be married to footballers. Ha!
Trevor Morley got a kitchen knife in his back off his wife and was out of action for three month. Soft tw*t. Archie McShitt of Port Vale got run over with horse and cart one Friday night and he still turned out against Bradford the following day. And he scored two goals. That's cos his name wasn't "Trevor". Good old Archie. Broke his hip,both his legs, murdered his wife and buried her under the patio and still made the England team for the Home Internationals. Did he have any "stress
counselling"? Did he BOL***kS !
And drugs ? There was none of that in the old days. Oh, no. In them days it was a quick shot of morphine before kick-off and you was lucky if you got that. By half-time it had all but wore off so they pumped you full of laudanum. None of this cocaine sniffing and shooting up class A narcotics.
I know. Me dad told me.
Goal celebrations ? Don't talk to me about goal celebrations. Crawling on the floor and thrusting their hips at the crowd. Huh! I'd like to have seen Cliff Bastin do that after a run down the left flank and crossing for Alex James to fire home a winner. Handshakes ... and that was all you got. That and a w*nk in the showers afterwards. But it was a proper w*nk......all man stuff. None of these poofy w*nks between blokes that you get nowadays with players like Greame Le Saux and Stephen Gerrard. Allegedly.
In them days, there was nowt wrong with it cos it didn't mean nowt. They used to say there was a "gay atmosphere" in the dressing room after the match. But it didn't mean owt mucky. Just a bit of harmless spanking the plank among healthy young sportsmen.
Aye. I know. Me dad told me.
Sixty grand a f*****g week! Ha! I wouldn't pay 'em tuppence. Two bob Tommy Lawton used to get ... a month! And Tom Finney still worked as a plumber four days a week when he was playing for England. It's true, you know. F****g is. Players had to work them days just to make up their money. Not like today.
Stan Pearson had to clean sewers and doubled up as Old Trafford Shithouse cleaner. He had to go off during one game because some c**t had built a log cabin and blocked the U-bend. And that Eddie Hapgood was a male model ... though he never liked to talk about it.
So I say we start calling kids real male names again. If you're having a kid, don't even consider poofy names and shyte names like what people Call their kids these days. Otherwise what we gonna get in twenty years' time?.
The England team full of players called Keanu, Ronan, Ashley and f****g Chesney. [Poor language removed] that! Call your kids Alf, Herbert, Len, Frank, Fred and Wilf.
And let's get the ponces out of the game once and for all.
Im feeling all angry about these modern day footballers, I know why They have gone all soft - It's because of poncy names. That's what it is.
Remember in the old days, when footy players kicked a f****g ball made out of ten pound of clay stitched inside a steel-reinforced leather shell with laces made out of piano wire? Well, in them days players could only survive the rigours of the game because they were called things like Albert, Arthur, Bert, Harry, Bill, Eddie, Bob, Jack and Tommy, F****g tough names for tough men, them was. And what do we have now ?
Jason, Wayne, Dean, Ryan, Jamie and Robbie. F****g tarts' names, they are, Great big f****g poofs...
No wonder the ball's like a f****g balloon and shin pads is like slices of bread. In the old days you never saw a Len Shackleton or a Billy Wright with a poofy little Sondico piece of paper down his little thin socks. F****g shin-pads in them days was made out of library books, and socks was like sack-cloth.
Same with the jerseys F****g shirts with holes in now so they can breathe. Yes, so that little Jody's hairless chest can breathe and he doesn't get a chill- F****g ponces the lot of them........Stanley Matthews used to dribble round Europe's finest wearing a f****g tent and shorts cobbled together from the jacket of his de-mob suit. Aye, he f****g did. No wonder players fall over all the time whenever An opponent comes anywhere near them. And they never used to show their
Arses at one another either. Can you imagine what might have happened if Don Revie had flashed his ring at Nat Lofthouse during a City-Bolton Wanderers game ? He'd have got one of them size-10 hobnail f*****s up his ba****d chuff.
F*****g therapy for stress my arse! Stan Collymore slaps his missus about and he takes three seasons off with stress counselling. What the [Poor language removed] is that all about? In the old days it was expected for footballers to belt the old sow about a bit, specially after a bad defeat. And the women used to expect it, and so they should have. They was lucky to be married to footballers. Ha!
Trevor Morley got a kitchen knife in his back off his wife and was out of action for three month. Soft tw*t. Archie McShitt of Port Vale got run over with horse and cart one Friday night and he still turned out against Bradford the following day. And he scored two goals. That's cos his name wasn't "Trevor". Good old Archie. Broke his hip,both his legs, murdered his wife and buried her under the patio and still made the England team for the Home Internationals. Did he have any "stress
counselling"? Did he BOL***kS !
And drugs ? There was none of that in the old days. Oh, no. In them days it was a quick shot of morphine before kick-off and you was lucky if you got that. By half-time it had all but wore off so they pumped you full of laudanum. None of this cocaine sniffing and shooting up class A narcotics.
I know. Me dad told me.
Goal celebrations ? Don't talk to me about goal celebrations. Crawling on the floor and thrusting their hips at the crowd. Huh! I'd like to have seen Cliff Bastin do that after a run down the left flank and crossing for Alex James to fire home a winner. Handshakes ... and that was all you got. That and a w*nk in the showers afterwards. But it was a proper w*nk......all man stuff. None of these poofy w*nks between blokes that you get nowadays with players like Greame Le Saux and Stephen Gerrard. Allegedly.
In them days, there was nowt wrong with it cos it didn't mean nowt. They used to say there was a "gay atmosphere" in the dressing room after the match. But it didn't mean owt mucky. Just a bit of harmless spanking the plank among healthy young sportsmen.
Aye. I know. Me dad told me.
Sixty grand a f*****g week! Ha! I wouldn't pay 'em tuppence. Two bob Tommy Lawton used to get ... a month! And Tom Finney still worked as a plumber four days a week when he was playing for England. It's true, you know. F****g is. Players had to work them days just to make up their money. Not like today.
Stan Pearson had to clean sewers and doubled up as Old Trafford Shithouse cleaner. He had to go off during one game because some c**t had built a log cabin and blocked the U-bend. And that Eddie Hapgood was a male model ... though he never liked to talk about it.
So I say we start calling kids real male names again. If you're having a kid, don't even consider poofy names and shyte names like what people Call their kids these days. Otherwise what we gonna get in twenty years' time?.
The England team full of players called Keanu, Ronan, Ashley and f****g Chesney. [Poor language removed] that! Call your kids Alf, Herbert, Len, Frank, Fred and Wilf.
And let's get the ponces out of the game once and for all.
duncs pigeon
Player Valuation: £35m
One of the best I heard was 'Farley' as in the brand of rusks. Wasnt brave enough to ask if was a boy or a girl lol lol
If you mean that the type of parents who would name a child "Jaxon" seem to be systematically predisposed to undervaluing education, and influencing their children either subconsciously or consciously to harbour the same misguided bias, then yes.
My cousin happens to value education very much, and she's very bright for an Arkansas resident, despite her lack of personal educational attainment.
If, by some incredible sequence of fantastic developments throughout the western world, teacher bias EVER becomes a major factor in student outcomes THEN we should start worrying about it. Mathematically the impact of teacher bias is not zero.... but it's also VERY low down in the list of "things that need to be addressed in order to improve student outcomes generally". Things like class sizes, child poverty and the like have a vastly bigger impact.
Sake lad, can you summarize?
BigBlueConk
Player Valuation: £70m
Read the thread.
Parents are stupid.
Is my conclusion.
Parents are stupid.
Is my conclusion.
dholliday
deconstructed rep
what's wrong with Darren?
Gladys is still a young name in French-speaking countries, and Irene is in German.
Nothing wrong with Dazza
dholliday
deconstructed rep
Nothing wrong with Dazza
*cringes*
Could've been worse I suppose, could have named it after the statues - Chicoazul is a terrible name to be saddled with.
Bungle
Player Valuation: £90m
And about 2 miles from mine, fancy meeting over the thicket for a bit of dogging with Paul Ross?
Not reading all that
scratchnsurf
Player Valuation: £40m
*reviews security measures*
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