When having a BM...

[Kurt.]

I just stand up, spread my cheeks and rub my posterior up and down the wall … I believe in ‘hip and bohemian’ circles this is known as Graffeaces

*or in Scotland, it’s known as internal refurbishment

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

I wish the females in my house would stand cos they keep on loosening the seat with wiggling on it

 

[Pootsy]

I wish the females in my house would stand cos they keep on loosening the seat with wiggling on it

Amen!!!!

 

[Connor mcloud]

In Roman public communal toilets they used the same sponge on the end of a stick to wipe their arses. After each use they would rinse it out and the next person uses it

Are you still in that Re-enactment society

 

[chrismpw]

Don't rub, blot.

I get by with 2 or 3 sheets.

That cannot be thorough!

 

[Milk]

You're all wrong ........

Either a Swan's neck (without the swan attached - them pluckers are dangerous beasties) or failing that seeing as they are either Crown or Worshipful Company of Swan Uppers property, a goose's neck.

Thread a piece of stiff wire up the oesophagus and then bend to suit

Thank me later

 

[heatmeiser]

Sorry, didn't read the whole thread before posting my image.

The "bum gun" is indeed a game changer. I'm actually annoyed now if I travel anywhere and there isn't one.

Well, after you're adept at using it you'll be 100 clean every use. I mean, you still use paper to dry so you're welcome to have a look for proof.

They had these in Tunisia recently but I thought they were just for jet washing off the skid marks in the side of the bowl (which I dutifully did obviously)

Still not really sure how it works. What do you do, bend your arm around and point it at your hole?

I did use it to moisten some bog roll for a few of the more stubborn wipes which was nicely efficient

 

[BNJ1878]

They had these in Tunisia recently but I thought they were just for jet washing off the skid marks in the side of the bowl (which I dutifully did obviously)

Still not really sure how it works. What do you do, bend your arm around and point it at your hole?

I did use it to moisten some bog roll for a few of the more stubborn wipes which was nicely efficient

That's exactly it.

I lean forward a little and give it a squirt.
At least if your aim is off your not sending a stream of water up towards the ceiling, you'll get your bottoms/thighs/ballsack instead.

You get used to it.

 

[Eggs]

….wash don’t wipe.

 

[Rita_Poon]

 

[Kurt.]

They had these in Tunisia recently but I thought they were just for jet washing off the skid marks in the side of the bowl (which I dutifully did obviously)

Still not really sure how it works. What do you do, bend your arm around and point it at your hole?

I did use it to moisten some bog roll for a few of the more stubborn wipes which was nicely efficient

I thought they were just for shooting the mosquitos whilst you were sat on ghe throne as a gentle pastime

 

[slipstream86]

Stand, hunch over and wipe. One up, one down. one shine.

 

[Gwladys St. Glory]

Basically that knob mask you posted... @Bungle

 

[Tipp blue]

How do you wipe yourself thread on grand old team.

 

[magicjuan]

I choose to floss