Once copping off with this gorgeous bird on the d-floor. Bought her a drink, went outside for a [Poor language removed] and was chatting with her mates. All having a laugh and whatnot- proper in there and destination of her yard after the lights come on looking more and more on the cards. Went for a little dance with her and my mate comes up to me and yells "OI ITS YA MISSUS ON THE PHONE, SHE'S BEEN TRYING TO GET HOLD OF YOU FOR AGES". Didn't even have a missus at the time, massive cockblock. Safe to say she wasn't happy whatsoever and wouldn't hear another word from me. Wasn't particularly chuffed with my mate but all's fair in love and war. Onto the next one then, went to the bar and bought a drink and got chatting to this chubby ginner girl. In the gloom and flashing lights she had quite a pretty face and I don't mind a large chick and quite fancy a redhead. She was perfectly keen and cracked on to her like, no time wasted. Lights came on at the end of the night and she was pretty gruesome, especially compared to bird number 1. However, almost out of spite for the first cockblock, went back to her house in the taxi. Was awful, bangin' her for a good 30minutes and didn't feel a thing- all the while she was lying their wincing telling me that it was hurting. Not sure how, hot dog and a cave type thing. After a while I pulled out, put my trousers on and asked to leave. Had to creep out of the flat with sound of her mates chilling in the living room. She was a student though and not only had to let me out of the flat, but through every security gate and the front of the complex. Took about 5 minutes, in an awkward silence that conveyed just how bad an experience it had been. She gave me her number which I pretended to type into my phone, gave her a peck on the cheek and ran all the way home.
