Worst person you've slept with

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heatmeiser said:
Classic humblebrag. The only bad one there is one you didn't sleep with!

Seriously though, why didn't you?
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This woman phoned me whilst i was taking a [Poor language removed] in the restaurant toilet to tell me she liked me? How hard would she have stalked me if I had nailed her, the stalking was not one or two calls, it was 20/30 times a day, I think if I had of done the honourable she would want wedding bells etc. It did not mind how many scary places HM Forces had taken me, you learn that their are places you just don't go, and she was one of them!!!!!!!!!!
 
This is a classic 'friend of a friend' story but I am quite certain this is true.

My mates mate pulls this lass in Queens nightclub in Ashton In Makerfield. Took her round to the alley at the back. She told him to 'take her round the back'. He did, but couldn't get it in.

So he used puddle water as lube.

The end.
 
The Cowboy said:
This is a classic 'friend of a friend' story but I am quite certain this is true.

My mates mate pulls this lass in Queens nightclub in Ashton In Makerfield. Took her round to the alley at the back. She told him to 'take her round the back'. He did, but couldn't get it in.

So he used puddle water as lube.

The end.
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You can't beat a story with a happy ending.
 
Right here goes, about 20 years ago me and my best night in the Cabin Club in Wood Street bladdered got seduced by two absolute Munters who were sisters. They were that bad me and my mate actually tossed a coin in front of them to decide who was going to go with the one who really did look like Grotbags from Chorlton and the Wheelies ( remember that ! ). Gets back to ours and I,m just about to do the deed on the kitchen work surface with Grotbags when her sister comes in and says that she fancies me and Grotbags fancies my mate. A quick swap round and I,m in the living room with the lesser evil and my mates with Grotbags in the kitchen. The deed is done and the ladies are packed off. The following morning my mate wakes me up and asks what it means when puss comes out when you piss ! Ladies and Gentleman it's Gonorrhoea from Grotbags !
 

Ralphie Boy said:
Quite senior in years so had a few unusual episodes, so here goes:

Whilst approximately 25 (serving in HM Forces - Germany) i met a female soldier who took me to a local B&B for the obvious. She explained that she would like it doggie so I obliged. After doing the motions for a while she explained that she had been very naughty and needed to be punished, did not click straight away, too busy enjoying myself, but she promptly asked me to start slapping her. Gently goes but she was not happy, explained that she had been really naughty so ended out slapping her like i was in the home straight at the Grand National.

Suffice to say she had a great night but the site of her bruised arse the next day was something to behold.

Still serving Queen and country I was listening to the radio whilst in Aldershot and Heart FM where doing a dating programme which my work colleagues entered me for, I had to go on the radio and give the cringiest answer to a girl and she would pick one of three, I was picked.

I took her for a meal in a restaurant in Dartford and had been booked into a hotel for the night, she turns up, supposed to be 30, more like 50 (and married) and made it known that I was the one for her, went to the toilet and phoned the lads up for a rescue lift - did not happen. Went back and had meal, went for a drink and put her in taxi, went to hotel (5mins walk) and she had followed me, went to room for one drink, went to bog to find her naked on bed, explained that i was gay, she was having none of it. She was given my number by the radio station so stalked me for weeks afterwards.

Had to give a brief to the radio station on how the date went in order to get my money back - they would not initially give them my money back unless I went live to spk about it, when i mentioned solicitors I got my dosh, but had too change telephone number.

Third and final one was when i was living in the Mess and their was a female soldier amongst others living in their too. A gang of us went to the local and all got drunk, we ended up in her room drinking and I fell asleep, was awoken by her giving me a nosh, this i did not complain about, indeed stood up whilst still in her mouth and started to undress to finish this thing off, she stopped and basically siad this goes no further unless I gizz all over her face of which I oblige, she rubs it in and starts getting me ready for round two.

Met some strange ones in my time, none of which i would marry, but plenty i think of fondly.......
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You my man are a star! ;)
 

Here goes, goosing some bird with a rubber on, she was half alright to be fair. Had these jonnys that were unbelievably tight and orange ha! Pull out an the nodder had ripped, finished off anyway.
2 days later I get her back round for another go, banging away, then when I pull out a piece of the Orange Jonny falls out from the previous time, I was horrified. After I sent her home I saw the funny side and lay in bed pissing myself. Part 1 of 3.
 
I had once had a friend ( not me honest ! ) who loved doing it whilst the ladies had a tampon in. He reckoned it heightened the pleasure ! ( he is now on marriage number 4 for some reason ).


Ps - Could we start a thread where any female members of GOT wish to share any of their experiences about this topic ?
 

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