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Anyone having a worse day than me?

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chrismpw said:
A thread for those of us wishing to offload (in my case, literally).

In sure some of you are, for whatever serious reason - but this is my day today:

Tomorrow morning I'm having a routine procedure - an examination - because of family history. Since Saturday I've nit been allowed ANY of my favourite foods. All I've been allowed to eat is beige.

Today at 10 am I ate the last food I'm permitted for 24 hours. At 6pm I have to start drinking a litre of cold wallpaper paste. I will be shitting regularly - the leaflet promises 12-15 toilet visits.

At 5am, amidst broken-toilet-visit-sleep, no doubt, I have to down another litre of slush before more explosive visits to the bog.

At 9am tomorrow I get a camera shoved up my arse and get inflated like a very unhappy balloon. I'm hoping the camera crew is tiny and that there us no need for a sound crew.

In the midst of all this , in case it wasnt bad enough, there's a Derby game.

Cheer me up, for pity's sake.
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Bet you are starving now.

I’ve had this treatment 3 times, the drink isn’t that bad.

It’s great to empty all the crap out of you occasionally. Reckon I saw some of my school dinner from 1984.

Hope it’s nothing sinister.
 

bluejohn66 said:
After todays experience, could be the perfect opportunity to get Mrs Chris's views on the subtle art of 'Pegging' ??
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Still don't know what this is, but I strongly suspect I should not use Google.

Another event from today - when a nurse (for want of a better title) said to me that they inflate the bowel with CO2 and that it was OK to fart.

Well tell me just how exactly do you fart while your trap door is stuffed full of pipe?

Again ... not a time for Google.
 
bluejohn66 said:
After todays experience, could be the perfect opportunity to get Mrs Chris's views on the subtle art of 'Pegging' ??
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Subtle?!!! HAHAHAHA

Never tried it and I'm happy to remain blinkered and olde world with my opinion. But that caught me unprepared. Explained to the office by saying it was yet another Liverpool meme.
 
chrismpw said:
Still don't know what this is, but I strongly suspect I should not use Google.

Another event from today - when a nurse (for want of a better title) said to me that they inflate the bowel with CO2 and that it was OK to fart.

Well tell me just how exactly do you fart while your trap door is stuffed full of pipe?

Again ... not a time for Google.
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There are some great Colonoscopy Farts if you search actually. I believe they are post fingering. If its not happening for you then Mr Duchie that attended you has left your anus like an airfield windsock.
 
chrismpw said:
Still don't know what this is, but I strongly suspect I should not use Google.

Another event from today - when a nurse (for want of a better title) said to me that they inflate the bowel with CO2 and that it was OK to fart.

Well tell me just how exactly do you fart while your trap door is stuffed full of pipe?

Again ... not a time for Google.
Click to expand...
However, its great to here you've come out the otherside of the procedure. Good Luck with the results. Hopefully something completely non serious
 
Pootsy said:
However, its great to here you've come out the otherside of the procedure. Good Luck with the results. Hopefully something completely non serious
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Cheers. Just a small polyp removed (sent for testing obvs) - quite common it seems. I've no symptoms, it's just something on the family routine since it was bowel cancer (unnoticed) that sadly saw my dad off.
 


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