Christmas

[Kurt.]

Whoever is responsible for Christmas should be nailed to a cross

 

[summerisle]

http://www.pretty52.com/life/real-l...ples-to-stop-having-sex-at-christmas-20180914

Midwife Calls For Couples To Stop Having Sex At Christmas

An exhausted midwife has put out a desperate plea for couples to stop making babies over Christmas as birth rates spike nine months later.

Christmas is made for eating your own body weight in mice pies and roast potatoes but it sounds like plenty of people burn off the extra calories in the bedroom.

Mhairi Maharry has asked couples to think of their poor midwives before making any babies over Christmas as the maternity departments can't cope with any more September arrivals.

Credit: Pexels
Taking to Twitter Mhairi wrote: "How is it only the 5th of September? I can't take 25 more days of this. If you know or love a midwife, PLEASE STOP SH*GGING AT CHRISTMAS."
That sounds like the plea of a desperate woman.

Twitter users were quick to apologise to the midwife for having theirbabies in September.
One wrote: "I'm so sorry, my first child was a September baby. The midwife on the ward was nearing a breakdown. I can't apologise enough."

Another replied: "Fair enough. As someone due in 3 weeks, I apologise for adding to your distress."

According to the Office for National Statistics September 26th is the most popular day for births with an average of 2000 babies being born, compared to 1800 on other days.
Despite Christmas being the most popular time to make a baby it actually has the lowest birth rate with 6 of the 10 least popular dates of birth falling in the Christmas and New Year period.

 

[summerisle]

 

[Yarrgh]

http://www.pretty52.com/life/real-l...ples-to-stop-having-sex-at-christmas-20180914

Midwife Calls For Couples To Stop Having Sex At Christmas

An exhausted midwife has put out a desperate plea for couples to stop making babies over Christmas as birth rates spike nine months later.

Christmas is made for eating your own body weight in mice pies and roast potatoes but it sounds like plenty of people burn off the extra calories in the bedroom.

Mhairi Maharry has asked couples to think of their poor midwives before making any babies over Christmas as the maternity departments can't cope with any more September arrivals.

Credit: Pexels
Taking to Twitter Mhairi wrote: "How is it only the 5th of September? I can't take 25 more days of this. If you know or love a midwife, PLEASE STOP SH*GGING AT CHRISTMAS."
That sounds like the plea of a desperate woman.

Twitter users were quick to apologise to the midwife for having theirbabies in September.
One wrote: "I'm so sorry, my first child was a September baby. The midwife on the ward was nearing a breakdown. I can't apologise enough."

Another replied: "Fair enough. As someone due in 3 weeks, I apologise for adding to your distress."

According to the Office for National Statistics September 26th is the most popular day for births with an average of 2000 babies being born, compared to 1800 on other days.
Despite Christmas being the most popular time to make a baby it actually has the lowest birth rate with 6 of the 10 least popular dates of birth falling in the Christmas and New Year period.

I was born on the 26th September. Just realised what my dad got for Christmas that year. I hope it wasn't his big present.

 

[bullybeef]

The implications of the event ruined that Christmas also security guards sent to my house to put me in front of the firms doctor in the Xmas holidays affected me and my family - the bstds.......
So Christmas never ever had the same attraction my daughter was very young ......
I fought it all the way 8 years of turmoil.......

What was your job Joey lad?

I’m intrigued.

 

[summerisle]

 

[summerisle]

• http://www.digitalspy.com/showbiz/s...illiam-shatner-christmas-album-shatner-claus/
  • Star Trek's William Shatner is releasing his own Christmas album

Merry Kirkmas.

21 SEPTEMBER 2018
In one of the most obscure musical stories of the year, Star Trekicon William Shatner is releasing a Christmas album next month.
Whether or not he'll be cascading down chimneys this Christmastime in support of the release is yet to be seen, but we do know that punk rocker Iggy Pop features in one of the record's tracks.
The album is titled Shatner Claus and according to The Hollywood Reporter, its comedic renditions of classic festive songs will collide genres such as jazz and blues, rockabilly, rock and even swing.

Alongside Iggy Pop, Shatner's new release boasts collaborations with an eclectic range of musicians.
Here is the track list:

1. 'Jingle Bells' feat. Henry Rollins
2. 'Blue Christmas' feat. Brad Paisley
3. 'Little Drummer Boy' feat. Joe Louis Walker
4. 'Winter Wonderland' feat. Todd Rundgren & Artimus Pyle (Lynyrd Skynyrd)
5. 'Twas The Night Before Christmas' feat. Mel Collins (King Crimson)
6. 'Run Rudolph Run' feat. Elliot Easton (The Cars)
7. 'O Come, O Come Emmanuel' feat. Rick Wakeman (Yes)
8. 'Silver Bells' feat. Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull)
9. 'One for You, One for Me'
10. 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' feat. Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top)
11. 'Silent Night' feat. Iggy Pop
12. 'White Christmas' feat. Judy Collins
13. 'Feliz Navidad' feat. Dani Bender

There's also a bonus punk-rock version of 'Jingle Bells', to finish the set off.
The album's been available to pre-order since last month, but just to get you in the early Christmas mood, you can listen to Shatner and Rollins' version on soundcloud.

 

[efcjames]

I hate Christmas.

Black Christmas is a good film though.

 

[tim gabbott]

I was born on the 26th September. Just realised what my dad got for Christmas that year. I hope it wasn't his big present.

It’s the only time of year yer mar puts out



So a friend told me

 

[Rob17896]

As my mother would say 'You dirty ticket'.

As would mine. Still not sure what it really means though.

 

[Tree13]

Anyone mentioning Christmas prior to Remembrance Sunday should be publicly flogged.

 

[RomanReigns]

Anyone mentioning Christmas prior to Remembrance Sunday should be publicly flogged.

it's all about the black friday for me

 

[Yarrgh]

It’s the only time of year yer mar puts out



So a friend told me

At least it explains why she always pops out the house during the Queens speech.

 

[gonetomorrow]

• http://www.digitalspy.com/showbiz/s...illiam-shatner-christmas-album-shatner-claus/
  • Star Trek's William Shatner is releasing his own Christmas album

Merry Kirkmas.

21 SEPTEMBER 2018
In one of the most obscure musical stories of the year, Star Trekicon William Shatner is releasing a Christmas album next month.
Whether or not he'll be cascading down chimneys this Christmastime in support of the release is yet to be seen, but we do know that punk rocker Iggy Pop features in one of the record's tracks.
The album is titled Shatner Claus and according to The Hollywood Reporter, its comedic renditions of classic festive songs will collide genres such as jazz and blues, rockabilly, rock and even swing.

Alongside Iggy Pop, Shatner's new release boasts collaborations with an eclectic range of musicians.
Here is the track list:

1. 'Jingle Bells' feat. Henry Rollins
2. 'Blue Christmas' feat. Brad Paisley
3. 'Little Drummer Boy' feat. Joe Louis Walker
4. 'Winter Wonderland' feat. Todd Rundgren & Artimus Pyle (Lynyrd Skynyrd)
5. 'Twas The Night Before Christmas' feat. Mel Collins (King Crimson)
6. 'Run Rudolph Run' feat. Elliot Easton (The Cars)
7. 'O Come, O Come Emmanuel' feat. Rick Wakeman (Yes)
8. 'Silver Bells' feat. Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull)
9. 'One for You, One for Me'
10. 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' feat. Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top)
11. 'Silent Night' feat. Iggy Pop
12. 'White Christmas' feat. Judy Collins
13. 'Feliz Navidad' feat. Dani Bender

There's also a bonus punk-rock version of 'Jingle Bells', to finish the set off.
The album's been available to pre-order since last month, but just to get you in the early Christmas mood, you can listen to Shatner and Rollins' version on soundcloud.

Looks like old Shats could double as the Red-Nosed Reindeer himself!

 

[jayden28]

True Christmas channel is now available on sky and freeview showing festive movies 24 hrs a day,only downside is the movies are absolutely crap so don't expect classics like polar express,national lampoon Christmas vacation etc