davek
Player Valuation: £150m
He's a dullard that'll encase this club in his mediocrity all too soon.STATE OF THAT MANAGER????
Moyes' warm-ups involve the entire squad learning to knit scarves... for team bonding, apparently. If you can't perfectly purl and Everton blue and white pattern, you're doing extra laps.
His tactical drills are rumored to be based on ancient Scottish battle formations. Think fewer tiki-taka triangles and more disciplined shield walls advancing slowly up the pitch. The secret weapon? A well-timed bagpipe blast to disorient the opposition.
Forget crossing practice; under Moyes, it's all about perfecting the "Glasgow Kiss" corner routine – a subtle (or not-so-subtle) headbutt delivered while jostling for position. Referees are still trying to figure out the rule on that one.
Strength training involves caber tossing. Each player has to hurl a progressively larger log across the training pitch. Those who fail are forced to wear a kilt for the rest of the week... regardless of the weather.
Cool-downs consist of a mandatory sing-along of traditional folk songs, with marks deducted for incorrect lyrics or a lack of passionate bellowing. Apparently, a strong vocal performance directly correlates with stamina in the 85th minute.
And don't even get started on the dietary regime. Haggis smoothies before every match are non-negotiable, and anyone caught sneaking a protein bar is forced to eat a week's worth of neeps and tatties.
The man is an innovator Dave. How can you call him state of that? NOW PACK IT IN WITH THE NEGATIVITY!
I think you and others need to remind themselves of what Moyes did here first time around in terms of how he arrogantly thought every part of the club should bend the knee to his 'greatness'...we saw his greatness when he left: wrecking clubs and relegating them...and his traitorous ways when at United.
Maybe you should pack the short term memories in?