2024/25 David Moyes

STATE OF THAT MANAGER????

Moyes' warm-ups involve the entire squad learning to knit scarves... for team bonding, apparently. If you can't perfectly purl and Everton blue and white pattern, you're doing extra laps.

His tactical drills are rumored to be based on ancient Scottish battle formations. Think fewer tiki-taka triangles and more disciplined shield walls advancing slowly up the pitch. The secret weapon? A well-timed bagpipe blast to disorient the opposition.

Forget crossing practice; under Moyes, it's all about perfecting the "Glasgow Kiss" corner routine – a subtle (or not-so-subtle) headbutt delivered while jostling for position. Referees are still trying to figure out the rule on that one.

Strength training involves caber tossing. Each player has to hurl a progressively larger log across the training pitch. Those who fail are forced to wear a kilt for the rest of the week... regardless of the weather.

Cool-downs consist of a mandatory sing-along of traditional folk songs, with marks deducted for incorrect lyrics or a lack of passionate bellowing. Apparently, a strong vocal performance directly correlates with stamina in the 85th minute.

And don't even get started on the dietary regime. Haggis smoothies before every match are non-negotiable, and anyone caught sneaking a protein bar is forced to eat a week's worth of neeps and tatties.

The man is an innovator Dave. How can you call him state of that? NOW PACK IT IN WITH THE NEGATIVITY!
He's a dullard that'll encase this club in his mediocrity all too soon.

I think you and others need to remind themselves of what Moyes did here first time around in terms of how he arrogantly thought every part of the club should bend the knee to his 'greatness'...we saw his greatness when he left: wrecking clubs and relegating them...and his traitorous ways when at United.

Maybe you should pack the short term memories in?
 

Agree that the absolute focus for at least next 24 months is stability and rebuilding of an actual squad. That will take at least the next 3 windows, during which we need to be nowhere near the relegation conversation.

This probably means also nowhere near the top 5 conversation, but hopefully in and around that 6 - 10 conversation with an interest in getting euro football of one flavour or another. If this is accepting mediocrity then I'm afraid I am guilty.

There will be both hits and misses as we build a balanced squad, the last thing we need is an 'excting' manager whose approach is not backed up by the ability of the evolving squad and we end up forced to sack and bring in another firefighter. Moyes can firefight but can also do more with a decent squad, he is absolutely the man for the job.
 
He's a dullard that'll encase this club in his mediocrity all too soon.

I think you and others need to remind themselves of what Moyes did here first time around in terms of how he arrogantly thought every part of the club should bend the knee to his 'greatness'...we saw his greatness when he left: wrecking clubs and relegating them...and his traitorous ways when at United.

Maybe you should pack the short term memories in?
I refuted this claim of being a dullard.

Clearly, instead of meticulously planning set pieces, maybe he just whispers inspirational (and slightly bizarre) poetry to the ball before kick-off. Picture him drawing up tactical formations not on a whiteboard, but in the steam on his post-match cuppa, occasionally licking a finger to redraw a midfielder.

Perhaps his "defensive solidity" is actually achieved by secretly training his defenders to communicate telepathically using only eyebrow movements and synchronized blinking. And maybe that pragmatic approach everyone talks about is just his way of saying, "Look, let's not do anything too exciting, we might spill our Bovril."

That "strong work ethic" he instills? It could involve mandatory interpretive dance sessions after training to build team spirit (and confuse the opposition with their unexpected artistic flair). And when he's "maximizing player strengths," maybe he's just really good at knowing which players can balance a teacup on their head the longest.

The trophy win? Clearly, it wasn't just tactical genius; it was the lucky application of a mystical sock puppet to the team mascot. And those high Premier League rankings? Purely down to his uncanny ability to win rock-paper-scissors against other managers before each game (the secret handshake is legendary).

So, is David Moyes a dullard? Absolutely not! He's a master of the subtly absurd, a tactical wizard disguised as a lover of sensible footwear, and a purveyor of footballing philosophies so understatedly bonkers they loop right back around to being brilliant. He's not dull; he's just playing 4D chess... with invisible unicorns.

CEASE YOUR NEGATIVITY AI-BOTVEK!
 
Don’t think things will go wrong under Moyes, but it won’t get much better than we have sen so far (regardless of what is spent on the team in the summer)
Test will be if that’s satisfactory for the new owners or not.
I think it depends what you class as going wrong and how long the timeframe we’re talking about is. Moyes is well capable of a poor run of form, we’ve seen it many times over the years - you could argue we’re in one now to some extent - so it depends what the boards expectations are and how patient they intend to be.
 

I refuted this claim of being a dullard.

Clearly, instead of meticulously planning set pieces, maybe he just whispers inspirational (and slightly bizarre) poetry to the ball before kick-off. Picture him drawing up tactical formations not on a whiteboard, but in the steam on his post-match cuppa, occasionally licking a finger to redraw a midfielder.

Perhaps his "defensive solidity" is actually achieved by secretly training his defenders to communicate telepathically using only eyebrow movements and synchronized blinking. And maybe that pragmatic approach everyone talks about is just his way of saying, "Look, let's not do anything too exciting, we might spill our Bovril."

That "strong work ethic" he instills? It could involve mandatory interpretive dance sessions after training to build team spirit (and confuse the opposition with their unexpected artistic flair). And when he's "maximizing player strengths," maybe he's just really good at knowing which players can balance a teacup on their head the longest.

The trophy win? Clearly, it wasn't just tactical genius; it was the lucky application of a mystical sock puppet to the team mascot. And those high Premier League rankings? Purely down to his uncanny ability to win rock-paper-scissors against other managers before each game (the secret handshake is legendary).

So, is David Moyes a dullard? Absolutely not! He's a master of the subtly absurd, a tactical wizard disguised as a lover of sensible footwear, and a purveyor of footballing philosophies so understatedly bonkers they loop right back around to being brilliant. He's not dull; he's just playing 4D chess... with invisible unicorns.

CEASE YOUR NEGATIVITY AI-BOTVEK!
Moyes: it goes beyond what he can and cant do as a manager of Everton.

It's more important than that. The fact he's here and getting backing from our fans is testimony to where we are as a club now.

Two or three decades ago there's no way a manager (an unsuccessful one at that) could come back to this club for a second spell after disrespecting and trying to rip off the club when he left. No chance that'd have happened years ago.

But we are where we are now and any manager who comes in and gets us safe in the PL will be forgiven for anything.

An Everton Football Club in the past or that'd been a success in the last few years would never have sanctioned a second spell for a manager who'd done that to the club.

Yeah, I get the 'safety' dimension here from supporters who are exhausted by relegation fights, but Moyes is playing on that and he knows he's VERY fortunate to get back in here for a big pay day before he retires.

We should be grateful for nothing where he's concerned. The gratitude should be all on his side. And still he continues to take the piss by getting his brother's client Adams in here for a wage he's never going to earn.

At least just wake up to the utter rancidness of Moyes as a feller.
 
Since he came back, it’s been the least stressful time since Ancelotti.

I’ll take that for now and so will my health.

Plus we get to both leave Goodison Park and welcome BMD with top flight status intact.

Genuinely see no downside to him personally.
One window at a time and see how it all goes
 
He's a dullard that'll encase this club in his mediocrity all too soon.

I think you and others need to remind themselves of what Moyes did here first time around in terms of how he arrogantly thought every part of the club should bend the knee to his 'greatness'...we saw his greatness when he left: wrecking clubs and relegating them...and his traitorous ways when at United.

Maybe you should pack the short term memories in?
I love you Dave
 
Fact is that if Dyche was still here we would definitely still be heavily embroiled in a relegation battle and probably right till the very last game. Moyes with exactly the same players has had us safe for about a month and mathematically safe with 5 games to go and we are far more enjoyable to watch and life has been far less stressful.

When you think about the downhill trajectory over the last 7 or 8 years, i am quite happy to let Moyes continue on here now for whatever length of time. He will have us playing in Europe again and that is a god send to most blues after what we have been subjected to.
 

My immediate concern would be on the transfer "process". I assume that he is in contact with Kinnear but he doesn't take up post officially until June 1.

It's late, very late in the day for any transfer consultants or whatever roles they will have, to be filled after that.

It's hard to figure out the supporting structure for Moyes, but he must be happy with whatever plans are in place, assuming he has a very solid idea at this point about who they'll be trying for.
 
Fact is that if Dyche was still here we would definitely still be heavily embroiled in a relegation battle and probably right till the very last game. Moyes with exactly the same players has had us safe for about a month and mathematically safe with 5 games to go and we are far more enjoyable to watch and life has been far less stressful.

When you think about the downhill trajectory over the last 7 or 8 years, i am quite happy to let Moyes continue on here now for whatever length of time. He will have us playing in Europe again and that is a god send to most blues after what we have been subjected to.

Few posts on here last few days some seem to have forgot just how bad we were under Dyche. Two of these woeful sides as i keep reading we lost and drew against under Dyche.
I cant really see why they feel we were going to pull away from the relegation zone under him.
 
West ham last season deciding Moyes wasn't good enough for them....

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West ham now...



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