Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Charro]

Charro I'm really sorry to hear that. That sounds like an awful situation to be in, and an awful couple of months before it. Death makes no sense at all and at the same time it's the one thing we're all certain of. It's just so difficult to take. Hopefully you can get through the coming time, and somehow it can help you to live afterwards.

Thanks mate.

Tbh it wasn’t that bad after the initial seizure as we were told it was nothing serious then when she was going for scans it was just bad news after bad news.

It’s just an unfortunate fact of life. Her mother died at 55 just suddenly and I’ve always thought how hard that must’ve been to get through.

At least with this we’re all prepared for the worst now so when it comes we’ll all be ready and when it’s her time to pass away it’ll probably be a relief for everyone.

We’re hoping that the treatment works so she can at least have a few more years of comfort and being able to live before this gets worse, but we know the chances aren’t good.

Just making the most of having her at home before she goes for her treatment and having the long hard months to come.

 

[Verbal Kint]

I buried my father yesterday. Even though it was expected it still has hit me hard. I've lost friends at a young age that took me a long time to recover from but this is pain is something that will stick forever.

 

[Earwigjoe]

I buried my father yesterday. Even though it was expected it still has hit me hard. I've lost friends at a young age that took me a long time to recover from but this is pain is something that will stick forever.

I'm really sorry for your loss mate. I'm not going to tell you he's in a better place and he's not suffering anymore, all of which are true - but it doesn't help us in the here and now. When we lose a loved 1, especially a parent the hurt can be unbearable - it does get easier though through time. Especially losing our dad's (if they are good ones) as sons our dad's were our role models they're who we aspire to be, our 1st superhero, our best friend and our rock always there to fix everything for us. It's how much we love them that makes the hurt so tough but we're lucky to have been graced that love and as odd as it sounds things will happen in our lives that you realise they're still there with us and helping us. God Bless and God speed you in dealing with this. You'll be in my prayers tonight brother.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

My ma always says the older you get the less weddings you go to but the more funerals you attend.

Never really thought about it like that but have been to 2 funerals this year and seems to be older family & family of close friends seem to slowly be leaving us.

I suppose thats life but does make you think about how precious time is

 

[Earwigjoe]

My ma always says the older you get the less weddings you go to but the more funerals you attend.

Never really thought about it like that but have been to 2 funerals this year and seems to be older family & family of close friends seem to slowly be leaving us.

I suppose thats life but does make you think about how precious time is

Absolutely mate, times so precious its much more valuable than money- but we waste so much time looking back with regrets - instead of using it wisely for our future and the life we haven't lived yet.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

Absolutely mate, times so precious its much more valuable than money- but we waste so much time looking back with regrets - instead of using it wisely for our future and the life we haven't lived yet.

The only things I regret in life mate are some of the fit women I never bucked when I had the chance for one reason or another.

Some will haunt me til the day im on my death bed.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

So, after two months that started with a suspected stroke, which turned out to be a seizure caused by a brain tumour, followed by surgery to try and remove said tumour, my mum has been told unfortunately they couldn’t remove all of it and the rest of it left is at a stage four and she needs chemo and radiotherapy.

No guarantee the treatment will work and even if it does she’s on borrowed time from here.

It’s been an absolutely exhausting two months and I’m shattered by the news received today.

Really sorted myself out mentally after an already challenging year but I’ve broken recently.

Just no light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Cherish each day with your Mum. Make the most of it. In August 2016 my Mum was diagnosed with a terminal illness and given 3 months. She passed away in May 2017 - nine months later. Those last few months were very special, we laughed a lot, she had her final Christmas with us and took on the role of executive chef bossing us all about in the kitchen! It was still a sad time, knowing what was coming. Take each day as it comes and you will find that there are good memories amongst the sadness.

 

[Earwigjoe]

So, after two months that started with a suspected stroke, which turned out to be a seizure caused by a brain tumour, followed by surgery to try and remove said tumour, my mum has been told unfortunately they couldn’t remove all of it and the rest of it left is at a stage four and she needs chemo and radiotherapy.

No guarantee the treatment will work and even if it does she’s on borrowed time from here.

It’s been an absolutely exhausting two months and I’m shattered by the news received today.

Really sorted myself out mentally after an already challenging year but I’ve broken recently.

Just no light at the end of the tunnel.

Nobody can blame you for breaking mate, your familys getting it really rough. I can tell how much you love your mum it's beautiful. I'm sure she knows it too, Only God knows how long we've got on this earth. Anything could happen to you, me or any of us tomorrow so as hard as it was to hear that news and think about her not being there - she is there - enjoy every moment, months, years you can with her as we all should with our families. Many, many more memories still to be made. Don't forget as a son you'll know there's nothing a mother loves more than to hear her son tell her how much she is loved and appreciated. God Bless and Keep strong brother we're all with you.

 

[Bruce Wayne]

So, after two months that started with a suspected stroke, which turned out to be a seizure caused by a brain tumour, followed by surgery to try and remove said tumour, my mum has been told unfortunately they couldn’t remove all of it and the rest of it left is at a stage four and she needs chemo and radiotherapy.

No guarantee the treatment will work and even if it does she’s on borrowed time from here.

It’s been an absolutely exhausting two months and I’m shattered by the news received today.

Really sorted myself out mentally after an already challenging year but I’ve broken recently.

Just no light at the end of the tunnel.

I hear you man. I'd like nothing more than someone to talk to right now. Face to face, you know? Not over a bloody Zoom link.

 

[Verbal Kint]

I'm really sorry for your loss mate. I'm not going to tell you he's in a better place and he's not suffering anymore, all of which are true - but it doesn't help us in the here and now. When we lose a loved 1, especially a parent the hurt can be unbearable - it does get easier though through time. Especially losing our dad's (if they are good ones) as sons our dad's were our role models they're who we aspire to be, our 1st superhero, our best friend and our rock always there to fix everything for us. It's how much we love them that makes the hurt so tough but we're lucky to have been graced that love and as odd as it sounds things will happen in our lives that you realise they're still there with us and helping us. God Bless and God speed you in dealing with this. You'll be in my prayers tonight brother.

Thank you for those words mate

 

[Bruce Wayne]

Email niceties can do one can't they? All that "heya, how you doing?", "hope you had a nice weekend?". I feel like picking on one unsuspecting soul and replying honestly. "Hey Janice, lovely to hear from you. Yeah, I caught myself looking at an oncoming bus as I was waiting to cross the road at the weekend and thinking, "hmm, that would be an option", how was your weekend? smiley [Poor language removed] face emoji"

 

[Spotty]

Email niceties can do one can't they? All that "heya, how you doing?", "hope you had a nice weekend?". I feel like picking on one unsuspecting soul and replying honestly. "Hey Janice, lovely to hear from you. Yeah, I caught myself looking at an oncoming bus as I was waiting to cross the road at the weekend and thinking, "hmm, that would be an option", how was your weekend? smiley [Poor language removed] face emoji"

Bruce what's up?

 

[ChesterBlue]

Just watched the BBC3 thing on coercive control and it brought a lot back with regards to how uncomfortably reminiscent the guy from the dramatised section’s behaviour was to my ex girlfriends behaviour towards me. Perhaps I kinda downplay the effect that behaviour had on me as I have ptsd and BPD already so you kinda think “ahh it was likely amplified by my conditions” and obviously that’s not the case seen as a dramatised scenario to a group of observers triggered me, perhaps I need to do more healing in regards to that and seek further therapy in general

 

[Spotty]

I buried my father yesterday. Even though it was expected it still has hit me hard. I've lost friends at a young age that took me a long time to recover from but this is pain is something that will stick forever.

The fact that it hurts so much is testament to the wonderful impact he had on you. The pain will always be there but I feel it becomes a different pain. It numbs you. For me the most obscure happening or incident can trigger the feelings of loss. A song you hear that he liked does it a lot. Speak about your dad tell people how you loved him and the funny things he said or did, your cherishing him, honouring him and although it hurts - I still cry for dad on occasions, and he died 20 years ago - he can still bring a smile to my face. Sorry for whitering on, I just feel the death of a loved can inadvertently make us more appreciative of life, and yes, helps us become better people.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

Just watched the BBC3 thing on coercive control and it brought a lot back with regards to how uncomfortably reminiscent the guy from the dramatised section’s behaviour was to my ex girlfriends behaviour towards me. Perhaps I kinda downplay the effect that behaviour had on me as I have ptsd and BPD already so you kinda think “ahh it was likely amplified by my conditions” and obviously that’s not the case seen as a dramatised scenario to a group of observers triggered me, perhaps I need to do more healing in regards to that and seek further therapy in general

I find a lot of blokes are controlled by their other half but its downplayed in society whereas in comparison if it was the other way around it would be seen as controlling/abusive behaviour.

My missus goes out with her mates and they all have their tits and arses out half the time and I couldn't care less tbh dont see how people get that insecure they control what their partners do.