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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

ForeverBlue92 said:
I find a lot of blokes are controlled by their other half but its downplayed in society whereas in comparison if it was the other way around it would be seen as controlling/abusive behaviour.

My missus goes out with her mates and they all have their tits and arses out half the time and I couldn't care less tbh dont see how people get that insecure they control what their partners do.
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Half of them just pretend they're under the thumb but secretly they love having excuses not to do things.
 
Spotty said:
The fact that it hurts so much is testament to the wonderful impact he had on you. The pain will always be there but I feel it becomes a different pain. It numbs you. For me the most obscure happening or incident can trigger the feelings of loss. A song you hear that he liked does it a lot. Speak about your dad tell people how you loved him and the funny things he said or did, your cherishing him, honouring him and although it hurts - I still cry for dad on occasions, and he died 20 years ago - he can still bring a smile to my face. Sorry for whitering on, I just feel the death of a loved can inadvertently make us more appreciative of life, and yes, helps us become better people.
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Great advice mate it's impossible not to talk about who we love. It's doesn't matter if they're still with us or moved on. They're the people who make us who we are - they formed us and shaped us. I talk to my Dad and about my Dad everyday and always will because I love him and miss him so much. A piece of us dies every time we lose a loved 1 especially a parent, but we shouldn't surrender ourselves to our loss we've been blessed to have such a great love in our lives. The song bit is so true too, I can't hear the Everley Brothers or I'm on fire by Springsteen without tears. Nothing wrong with a good old cry too @Verbal Kint sometimes you just need to release the pain. I can't believe how much I've cried since my Dad died I think I'd only cried at Adrian coming out of a coma in Rocky and when I thought ET had died lol. Our sorrow and hurt truly is a testament to the great love we've been graced with in life and we should share, teach and reflect that grace within our families as a tribute to our 1st teachers our parents.
 
Earwigjoe said:
Great advice mate it's impossible not to talk about who we love. It's doesn't matter if they're still with us or moved on. They're the people who make us who we are - they formed us and shaped us. I talk to my Dad and about my Dad everyday and always will because I love him and miss him so much. A piece of us dies every time we lose a loved 1 especially a parent, but we shouldn't surrender ourselves to our loss we've been blessed to have such a great love in our lives. The song bit is so true too, I can't hear the Everley Brothers or I'm on fire by Springsteen without tears. Nothing wrong with a good old cry too @Verbal Kint sometimes you just need to release the pain. I can't believe how much I've cried since my Dad died I think I'd only cried at Adrian coming out of a coma in Rocky and when I thought ET had died lol. Our sorrow and hurt truly is a testament to the great love we've been graced with in life and we should share, teach and reflect that grace within our families as a tribute to our 1st teachers our parents.
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It’s possible to think and care about you’re dad even though you don’t remember seeing him, even in a photograph, my dad died when I was eleven months old and I think about him often, what he looked like, what was his nature, would my life have been very different if he hadn’t passed on, I never knew his parents, my mother, brother and me were never involved with my dads side of the family for whatever reason, so I missed out (possibly) on a lot of cousins, aunties, uncles etc. About twenty years ago with some help I found his grave, an unmarked one, and go now and again and talk to him, tell him about his family ( my family) and the daughter in law, grandchildren and great grandchildren he never got the chance to get to know and love,I can’t say I miss him but I miss not getting the chance to know and love him, so I do understand the sorrow and pain that people feel when they lose someone close that they loved and miss so much.
 
Cameron Manning said:
It’s possible to think and care about you’re dad even though you don’t remember seeing him, even in a photograph, my dad died when I was eleven months old and I think about him often, what he looked like, what was his nature, would my life have been very different if he hadn’t passed on, I never knew his parents, my mother, brother and me were never involved with my dads side of the family for whatever reason, so I missed out (possibly) on a lot of cousins, aunties, uncles etc. About twenty years ago with some help I found his grave, an unmarked one, and go now and again and talk to him, tell him about his family ( my family) and the daughter in law, grandchildren and great grandchildren he never got the chance to get to know and love,I can’t say I miss him but I miss not getting the chance to know and love him, so I do understand the sorrow and pain that people feel when they lose someone close that they loved and miss so much.
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That must have been so hard mate, especially to someone whom family obviously means so much to. You're totally right we lost 2 kids during pregnancy and I always wonder what they looked like - how they'd look now. One thing I do know though is you mightnt know anything about your Dad but he'll know absolutely every single thing about you and all the generations of family you're responsible for, he'd be so proud of his son especially as he was robbed of his family. I think it's beautiful how you tracked his grave down and visit, I'm sure he was so happy you done and do that, he probably helped you find him. My dad's da (my Granda) I never met or seen all I knew was my dad was an only son and was close to his dad who was a P. O. W and was never the same after the war and didn't last long after it. My Dad was proper oldskool and you could never ask anything about my Grandad. I always wondered what he was like especially as I loved my dad like he loved his. Keep praying for him as he will be for you and yours. You will when your times up see your dad that's for sure it'll be amazing for the 2 of you and being introduced to other family you don't yet know, and the 2 of you can spend forever catching up. God bless mate.
 
Earwigjoe said:
That must have been so hard mate, especially to someone whom family obviously means so much to. You're totally right we lost 2 kids during pregnancy and I always wonder what they looked like - how they'd look now. One thing I do know though is you mightnt know anything about your Dad but he'll know absolutely every single thing about you and all the generations of family you're responsible for, he'd be so proud of his son especially as he was robbed of his family. I think it's beautiful how you tracked his grave down and visit, I'm sure he was so happy you done and do that, he probably helped you find him. My dad's da (my Granda) I never met or seen all I knew was my dad was an only son and was close to his dad who was a P. O. W and was never the same after the war and didn't last long after it. My Dad was proper oldskool and you could never ask anything about my Grandad. I always wondered what he was like especially as I loved my dad like he loved his. Keep praying for him as he will be for you and yours. You will when your times up see your dad that's for sure it'll be amazing for the 2 of you and being introduced to other family you don't yet know, and the 2 of you can spend forever catching up. God bless mate.
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Thank you,earwigjoe, nice reply and comforting.God bless you too.
 

Earwigjoe said:
Great advice mate it's impossible not to talk about who we love. It's doesn't matter if they're still with us or moved on. They're the people who make us who we are - they formed us and shaped us. I talk to my Dad and about my Dad everyday and always will because I love him and miss him so much. A piece of us dies every time we lose a loved 1 especially a parent, but we shouldn't surrender ourselves to our loss we've been blessed to have such a great love in our lives. The song bit is so true too, I can't hear the Everley Brothers or I'm on fire by Springsteen without tears. Nothing wrong with a good old cry too @Verbal Kint sometimes you just need to release the pain. I can't believe how much I've cried since my Dad died I think I'd only cried at Adrian coming out of a coma in Rocky and when I thought ET had died lol. Our sorrow and hurt truly is a testament to the great love we've been graced with in life and we should share, teach and reflect that grace within our families as a tribute to our 1st teachers our parents.
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I went home in his last week's to care for him so that gives me great comfort that I shared that time with him and my mother, i had a good cry over his passing and during the burial, i think the last time I cried was when i watched cool running, the Jamican bobsleigh crash gets me everytime.
 
Verbal Kint said:
I went home in his last week's to care for him so that gives me great comfort that I shared that time with him and my mother, i had a good cry over his passing and during the burial, i think the last time I cried was when i watched cool running, the Jamican bobsleigh crash gets me everytime.
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I'm glad you got to be there mate and to have had that time with him, that's the way your dad would have wanted it too. I was also lucky to have been there at the end with my dad. It must be so hard for those that don't get to say goodbye......Cool runnings though mate???? Adrian coming out of her coma telling Rocky to win and Micky screaming what are we waiting for does it to me every time, My kids will put it on TV everytime they're trying to make an idiot out of their Da. lol
 

Earwigjoe said:
Great advice mate it's impossible not to talk about who we love. It's doesn't matter if they're still with us or moved on. They're the people who make us who we are - they formed us and shaped us. I talk to my Dad and about my Dad everyday and always will because I love him and miss him so much. A piece of us dies every time we lose a loved 1 especially a parent, but we shouldn't surrender ourselves to our loss we've been blessed to have such a great love in our lives. The song bit is so true too, I can't hear the Everley Brothers or I'm on fire by Springsteen without tears. Nothing wrong with a good old cry too @Verbal Kint sometimes you just need to release the pain. I can't believe how much I've cried since my Dad died I think I'd only cried at Adrian coming out of a coma in Rocky and when I thought ET had died lol. Our sorrow and hurt truly is a testament to the great love we've been graced with in life and we should share, teach and reflect that grace within our families as a tribute to our 1st teachers our parents.
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" make us who we are " earwig, spot on. Well written and honest post.
 
Earwigjoe said:
I'm glad you got to be there mate and to have had that time with him, that's the way your dad would have wanted it too. I was also lucky to have been there at the end with my dad. It must be so hard for those that don't get to say goodbye......Cool runnings though mate???? Adrian coming out of her coma telling Rocky to win and Micky screaming what are we waiting for does it to me every time, My kids will put it on TV everytime they're trying to make an idiot out of their Da. lol
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Adrian, in a " de de de de de de de de de de, de de de. de de de". Shakes head in embarrassment
 
Earwigjoe said:
Areet mara,.... lol a geordie making fun of someone else talking... I'm gan hyme lol
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One of my students was a scouse lad. We went to see a really poorly Iranian man in the community. As you can imagine communication was " difficult." I dicided to use " language line". You phone them up, ask for a translater. So there we were, a geordie, scouser and a multi lingual Iranian. All trying to speak the Queens English. Couldn't make it up and as you can imagine it created a lot of amusement. ☺️
 
ForeverBlue92 said:
I find a lot of blokes are controlled by their other half but its downplayed in society whereas in comparison if it was the other way around it would be seen as controlling/abusive behaviour.

My missus goes out with her mates and they all have their tits and arses out half the time and I couldn't care less tbh dont see how people get that insecure they control what their partners do.
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Where do they usually go mate?
Need some new bars to frequent after lockdown
 

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