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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

For clarity, I want to emphasise that I totally agree with this. You can control what influences your feelings with the simplicity of an off switch sometimes but.... I'd like to play Devils Advocate for a moment.

I believe that there is inherent value in resilience. I don't mean that in the "suck it up buttercup" way but in a practical, "I choose to not let this affect me" way. Granted, this is easy to type & bluddy hard to do, and it is most certainly not something I have attained, whatsoever!

Sometimes, we all need a break. Sometimes, TV News is just so keen to be the first to tell us the bad news that you can almost see them frothing at the bit! This is why I rarely watch TV News anymore. I read the News, at my pace and articles of my choosing. I control what I consume. I also make sure that I read the Red leaning websites AND the Blue ones. This is how I get balance and allows me to formulate an opinion. MY opinion. Not what some Journo is shouting at me and based on whatever the person paying him or her thinks!

So, while I wholeheartedly agree with the above, I think it's important to work your way back, at your own pace, lest you ostracise yourself inadvertently.

Just my 2c.
Completely agree. Probably should have said that I do read the news. Like you say at my own pace and from sources I prefer and not just ones that reflect my own views. It is important to have balance.
 
For clarity, I want to emphasise that I totally agree with this. You can control what influences your feelings with the simplicity of an off switch sometimes but.... I'd like to play Devils Advocate for a moment.

I believe that there is inherent value in resilience. I don't mean that in the "suck it up buttercup" way but in a practical, "I choose to not let this affect me" way. Granted, this is easy to type & bluddy hard to do, and it is most certainly not something I have attained, whatsoever!

Sometimes, we all need a break. Sometimes, TV News is just so keen to be the first to tell us the bad news that you can almost see them frothing at the bit! This is why I rarely watch TV News anymore. I read the News, at my pace and articles of my choosing. I control what I consume. I also make sure that I read the Red leaning websites AND the Blue ones. This is how I get balance and allows me to formulate an opinion. MY opinion. Not what some Journo is shouting at me and based on whatever the person paying him or her thinks!

So, while I wholeheartedly agree with the above, I think it's important to work your way back, at your own pace, lest you ostracise yourself inadvertently.

Just my 2c.

Good points. Just on resilience, I heard a psychiatrist on radio recently, in the context of talking about the pandemic.

He was saying that whilst undoubtedly resilience is a good quality and one we need to develop in ourselves, it is not a coping strategy in itself.

He was struck by some of the patients he engaged with, and how resilient they were (in their own words) but thought that that was or should be a red flag in that too many issues are building up.

I thought it was an interesting take. I have sort of praised myself for my own resilience lately and that's fine to a point,, but I guess I don't want to be in situations where resilience is seemingly required most of the time. If that's the case, then its time to perhaps reach out to family, friends, your GP, or another professional for some help.
 
Good points. Just on resilience, I heard a psychiatrist on radio recently, in the context of talking about the pandemic.

He was saying that whilst undoubtedly resilience is a good quality and one we need to develop in ourselves, it is not a coping strategy in itself.

He was struck by some of the patients he engaged with, and how resilient they were (in their own words) but thought that that was or should be a red flag in that too many issues are building up.

I thought it was an interesting take. I have sort of praised myself for my own resilience lately and that's fine to a point,, but I guess I don't want to be in situations where resilience is seemingly required most of the time. If that's the case, then its time to perhaps reach out to family, friends, your GP, or another professional for some help.
Excellent points. I think resilience isn't a state of being, you should not have to be resilient ALL the time. We are always being praised for our resilience in work in using an IT system which, three and a half years down the line is still a piece of garbage, unfit for purpose and cost the taxpayer hundreds of millions of ££s. It was described by a House of Commons Finance Select committee as a "masterclass in incompetence" One of my colleague, on being praised, yet again, for his resilience likened resilience to the stretchiness in an elastic band. If you keep stretching it without ever letting it regain its original shape then it will eventually snap. I thought that was a really good analogy.
 
Good points. Just on resilience, I heard a psychiatrist on radio recently, in the context of talking about the pandemic.

He was saying that whilst undoubtedly resilience is a good quality and one we need to develop in ourselves, it is not a coping strategy in itself.

He was struck by some of the patients he engaged with, and how resilient they were (in their own words) but thought that that was or should be a red flag in that too many issues are building up.

I thought it was an interesting take. I have sort of praised myself for my own resilience lately and that's fine to a point,, but I guess I don't want to be in situations where resilience is seemingly required most of the time. If that's the case, then its time to perhaps reach out to family, friends, your GP, or another professional for some help.
I subscribe to the following re: resilience.
We ALL " possess " a degree of resilience - ALL of us - there is though a massive however. That " however " is when we have to deal with a number of experiences. We manage, we demonstrate resilience and have a high degree of functionality. We start to struggle - you, me everyone - when we HAVE TOO MUCH TO COPE WITH. How many times have we said " it comes in threes " " can things get any worse. " and it does get worse. It is not a weakness, we are overloaded with stressors and we can't deal with them, it becomes overbearing, anxiety low mood and depression can follow. I ask people who are struggling to make a list. On one side put the issues that matter most. Try to address them first, the ones that will relieve the most stress for you. If you can please prioritise, be as Pro active as possible and wherever you can. Remember though, this is very important, you can only do what you can do. Get help if it's getting too much for you. Seek help, open up if you can and put everything out there. It's about doing the things that are going to give you the most peace of mind. We ALL have resilience so please don't beat yourself up for thinking you haven't. Take care all, share your problems and remember there are people out there who WANT to help.
 

I have found this lockdown extremely hard, I have a constant knot in my stomach, until recently I've been keeping things under control but I've started getting angry over little things and giving out to my lads over nothing. I've talked to my wife about it, and she's noticed it too. This is the first time in 6 years I'm feeling constantly down, I was on anti anxiety medication back then and don't want to go back to that, so I've decided that from now I'm blocking any covid talk and news, looking at daily numbers and deaths is not good for me, I've been at it for over a year and it's taking the good out of me. My next step now is to ignore whoever set up the covid thread here and then block news sites on my phone..
This one is very close to home for me.

I’m on the IoM so our lockdowns have been differently structured to yours (and shorter overall so I’ve had things much easier!).

In the year and a half before all this hit I went on a massive fitness journey and dropped a shedload of weight. I thought that would stand me in good stead and I’d be able to stay on top of exercise during LD but it didn’t.

I just kind of... freeze. I lounge around all day, KNOWING I should be doing exercise, work, stuff with the kids etc but my body just won’t respond. As that goes on I get progressively more angry with myself, but I’ll end up snapping at the kids over something stupid instead.

I think the worst thing a lot of people can do - in life in general as well as these crazy times - is try to fix everything at once. You just end up feeling more overwhelmed and you’ll find yourself back at square one, if not further back than that, before long.

I’ve just picked little things I can do for anything between half an hour or a couple of hours each day, and the chunks soon build up so that you’re staying occupied between getting up and going to bed. For me, what’s worked have been:

- Learning Spanish on Duolingo
- Learning the drums (online courses)
- Reading
- Playing board/card games with the kids
- Basic spelling and numbers with my little one
- Watching movies with the kids
- Watching all WWF Wrestlemanias in sequence (I don’t know why I thought of this, I don’t even really like wrestling, but it’s been fun so far!)

You’ll note that exercise is still absent from the list. I’ll do bits when I feel up to it but I refuse to put myself under pressure to do it. Yes, I’ll exit LD a few KGs heavier than I came in but that’ll soon drop off once I get exercise back into my daily routine.

Good luck to you, man. We’ll get through it by hook or by crook!
 
Not bad sir missus is battering me head over having another kid but that means needing to look for a bigger house at a time work is limited for me.

Not the best of times so laying low hoping she gives up lol hows work?
Work will pick up soon and you’ll have no choice! :lol:

Still working from home. We had a big meeting today and it looks like we’re aiming for a October return to the office as opposed to a June one.
 
This one is very close to home for me.

I’m on the IoM so our lockdowns have been differently structured to yours (and shorter overall so I’ve had things much easier!).

In the year and a half before all this hit I went on a massive fitness journey and dropped a shedload of weight. I thought that would stand me in good stead and I’d be able to stay on top of exercise during LD but it didn’t.

I just kind of... freeze. I lounge around all day, KNOWING I should be doing exercise, work, stuff with the kids etc but my body just won’t respond. As that goes on I get progressively more angry with myself, but I’ll end up snapping at the kids over something stupid instead.

I think the worst thing a lot of people can do - in life in general as well as these crazy times - is try to fix everything at once. You just end up feeling more overwhelmed and you’ll find yourself back at square one, if not further back than that, before long.

I’ve just picked little things I can do for anything between half an hour or a couple of hours each day, and the chunks soon build up so that you’re staying occupied between getting up and going to bed. For me, what’s worked have been:

- Learning Spanish on Duolingo
- Learning the drums (online courses)
- Reading
- Playing board/card games with the kids
- Basic spelling and numbers with my little one
- Watching movies with the kids
- Watching all WWF Wrestlemanias in sequence (I don’t know why I thought of this, I don’t even really like wrestling, but it’s been fun so far!)

You’ll note that exercise is still absent from the list. I’ll do bits when I feel up to it but I refuse to put myself under pressure to do it. Yes, I’ll exit LD a few KGs heavier than I came in but that’ll soon drop off once I get exercise back into my daily routine.

Good luck to you, man. We’ll get through it by hook or by crook!

Only a thought about giving yourself some motivation to get your fitness levels back up ?

I know from my race calendar, that there`s a load of different running events on the Isle of Man, from 40 milers around the TT, to easy fun 10K`s around the prom area.

Why don`t you pick and easy one that you think is doable in late Summer / early Autumn and set yourself that as a target ?

I`d love to to do one of the many off road courses on the IOM, as the coast is stunning.
 

Only a thought about giving yourself some motivation to get your fitness levels back up ?

I know from my race calendar, that there`s a load of different running events on the Isle of Man, from 40 milers around the TT, to easy fun 10K`s around the prom area.

Why don`t you pick and easy one that you think is doable in late Summer / early Autumn and set yourself that as a target ?

I`d love to to do one of the many off road courses on the IOM, as the coast is stunning.
Appreciate you taking the time, man, thanks. We’re opening up again in a couple of weeks so I’ll be back into the gym then, and taking martial arts classes.

I have done the couch to 5k programme on the treadmill, which was an achievement as I was blowing out of my jacksie after 60s running to begin with! I defo want to take the running out onto the road when the weather is a bit better, as you say. The more I can show myself that fitness doesn’t just belong in the gym, the better chance I’ll have - god forbid - if we end up back indoors again.
 
Appreciate you taking the time, man, thanks. We’re opening up again in a couple of weeks so I’ll be back into the gym then, and taking martial arts classes.

I have done the couch to 5k programme on the treadmill, which was an achievement as I was blowing out of my jacksie after 60s running to begin with! I defo want to take the running out onto the road when the weather is a bit better, as you say. The more I can show myself that fitness doesn’t just belong in the gym, the better chance I’ll have - god forbid - if we end up back indoors again.

The key is enjoying what you`re doing, no matter what it is, as if you`re forcing yourself to do something, because you " think " it`s doing you good, eventually you`ll always find an excuse to stop doing it.

A good intro to running to start off with, is to " jog" you`re favourite walk, instead of walking it.

By jog, I mean just above walking pace to start with, so you`re not really out of breath.

There`s some really good programmes online for starting off using the run / walk method.

Ten mins every other day, will start you off and you`ll find that pretty quickly you`ll naturally speed up and be able to go for longer ;)
 
The key is enjoying what you`re doing, no matter what it is, as if you`re forcing yourself to do something, because you " think " it`s doing you good, eventually you`ll always find an excuse to stop doing it.

A good intro to running to start off with, is to " jog" you`re favourite walk, instead of walking it.

By jog, I mean just above walking pace to start with, so you`re not really out of breath.

There`s some really good programmes online for starting off using the run / walk method.

Ten mins every other day, will start you off and you`ll find that pretty quickly you`ll naturally speed up and be able to go for longer ;)
I really enjoy how I feel after exercising, and I love seeing/feeling the benefits. Can’t say I love the exercise all the time, though!

Again, I truly appreciate the advice. This thread is something else. About to head out for a brisk 20-30 minute walk. Watch out for me in the London Marathon next year!!
 
I've said on here that I'm finding this lockdown very difficult.. worrying about when lockdown will end and what life will be like after all this, I'm not actually worried about Covid, I'm 38 years old and have no other conditions, there has been a constant knot in my stomach recently, but today I've come to the realisation that my worrying now is not going to make even a minuscule difference as to how and when the covid crisis ends and all my worrying is doing is sapping any joy out of the present.
I'm still not happy but feel a bit more rejuvenated after that thought popped into my head.
I found a quote, "worrying is like being on a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it will get you nowhere".
Don't worry about it is easier said than done but realisation that it's pointless is possibly the first step.
 
I lost my nana in the early hours of the morning. This isn’t a post for sympathy but a reminder to all to go make the most of the time you have with older relatives. I’ve been guilty in the past of skipping out on visiting them because I’m being lazy or I’d rather do something else - now I don’t have the option anymore so please don’t do I as did. No one is here forever.
 

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