efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
Thanks mate. I think previously I felt as though I had to stay strong but now my wife is starting to recover uts allowed me to let my guard down a bit.
Thanks mate. I think previously I felt as though I had to stay strong but now my wife is starting to recover uts allowed me to let my guard down a bit.
Makes sense mate. I’ve been in a similar position when I lost my dad; it was nice to be there for everyone and be the rock, stay strong, etc, but the reality was that I was just neglecting to grieve properly myself and that goosed me up a bit in the long run.
If your extra responsibilities took your mind off the underlying issues, then great but that’s not to say they ever went away and you’re finding that out for yourself now. Immense credit to you for acknowledging what’s happening and seeking advice. That alone gives me the confidence that you’ll be fine mate.
Of course, you’ll have dips, and that’s where we come in along with whatever support network you have in your life.
Keep us updated with your progress.
Sorry to hear your started to struggle and frankly your very insightful recognising you've started to struggle. What does your " struggling " look like?. How has it started to manifest itself. ? The good thing EFC is you already have the fortitude within you to cope because you've already done it. People will often say, I can't cope, to which I reply you said that last time and you copied admirably. It can be be very simple believe it or not and people on here have wisely alluded to it already. What did you do last time? Do you recall what worked. I suspect that your good wife - my wife's also a nurse - struggling is a catalyst for you struggling. Your understandably worried and it must be very hard for you to see such a supportive person struggle herself. You CAN be of help to your wife and that is by re iterating your full support and love for her, tell her your going to face your problems together and you will get through it. My admiration for people like you - experiencing mental health problems and recovering - knows no bounds. You continue to show such character and resilience. I note with interest you allude to some trauma experienced by your wife when younger. There is no need to worry in terms of your wife addressing any trauma when she doesn't want to. You have to be ready, to show a willingness to WANT to talk about painfull memories and I hope I can give reasurence to yourself and especially your wife, that no therapist or councillor will ever start to provide support without an express wish from your wife that she wants it. It will not happen. Sounds to me EFC your wife and yourself are taking too much on board. We all have the ability to cope with some stress, but it can often get too much. She should mate be getting clinical supervision at work. She I hope, can discuss the pressures she's experiencing at work and receive the appropriate support. It goes without saying, nurses have and continue to work with a high degree of pressure at present. The service will survive without her it won't crumble believe me, what I mean is I hope she can be good to herself, not be so demanding. If that means taking some time of work, I hope she will be able to. It's important your wife is in a good place EFC. Your mental health is intrinsically linked to your wife's well being. Keep talking, keep reassuring each other that you can get through your bad times together, because you've done it before. Good luck mate, I hope your wife can cut herself some slack, she deserves to have some peace of mind and the NHS can help her. I think you'll find that once your wife finds some contentment,you'll see a subsequent improvement in your mental health. Kindly relay to your wife that she will never be forced or coerced into talking about any past experiences without first wanting to herself. Take care and I apologise for the length of this reply.
Earwig this is a very good post and spot on.
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
Thank you so much for the kind words. When I'm struggling I find myself obsessing about certain things, namely money issues. The good thing is that I now recognise that worrying about money is a symptom and not the CAUSE of my mental health difficulties.
Your words are very helpful, as you put it, although I am struggling I know that I can and will cope.
Thank you.
" Spotty will give you far better advice ". You do yourself a disservice, advice from you, COYB and others on here is spot on so please carry on supporting people. Remember, YOU are the expert in your mental health journey, I just try to give some very practicle words of advice and support and believe me it's a learning curve for me. There is a lot of lived experience on this forum and long may it continue.
Just thought I would mention , that my PTSD has returned with a vengeance. I mentioned this in this thread a while ago and things had improved , but now and again something happens and the switch is flicked. Hopefully Everton may help to improve my mind when the season kicks off
Sorry to hear that mate. Are you able to narrow down what’s triggered it this time? I suspect you’ve been around long enough to know you can’t rely on that lot to improve your state of mind!!Just thought I would mention , that my PTSD has returned with a vengeance. I mentioned this in this thread a while ago and things had improved , but now and again something happens and the switch is flicked. Hopefully Everton may help to improve my mind when the season kicks off
Yeah certain things have happened recently , luckily I know the warning signs etc, Yeah followed Everton nigh on 50 years now , still live in hopelol
I’m glad you’re a step ahead of it. Do you have people who can help you through it?
Only a counsellor really . I moved upto Cumbria from the Midlands 2 years ago , so what family and friends I have are back there. I am a bit of a loner so am comfortable in my own company. However I do offload to family and friends. Talking helps and luckily they are good listeners.
That’s good mate. Make sure you’re on the blower to them as often as you need. If ever you’re stuck in a rut you obviously know where this place is.
Hopefully you feel better soon.
Rugby sorry about your PTSD returning - it never goes away, but you can - as you know - take meds which evidentially, often have positive results for PTSD. It's awfull because certain things, music food, names weather, all sorts of factors can trigger people can't they. It's very hard but are you aware of what sort of actions, memories trigger an episode?Thing is Rugby as you know, there are often a number of situations can bring back these horrid memories. Keep taking your meds mate especially if they prove beneficial for for. I know it's a bit left field mate but regardless of whether you've served or not, I referred someone to the British Legion who are a font of knowledge on all sorts of PTSD, and will often help or refer people on to helpfull resources or stress related service providers. Take care buddy, I hope you can begin to feel better soon.Just thought I would mention , that my PTSD has returned with a vengeance. I mentioned this in this thread a while ago and things had improved , but now and again something happens and the switch is flicked. Hopefully Everton may help to improve my mind when the season kicks off
I don't often do this, but as rightly, people talk about medication and mental health, I thought I would explain so we can all understand what happens physically when we get depressed.ill try to keep it short so it won't bore you.
Our brain produces and releases these chemicals called seratonin. This chemical basically is responsible for our mood etc ( making us feel good etc ). When we get low anxious, our brain doesn't produce enough of these feel good chemicals. Or and this is a bummer, it releases these " nice chemicals " but instead of letting them swish around our brain making us feel good etc, it then reabsorbs them into the part of brain that releases them. What the anti depressants do is stimulate our brain to produce these " feeling nice " chemicals and cleverly, anti depressants like SSRIs, stop the " feeling nice " chemicals from being reabsorbed into our brains. Allowing the " feeling nice" chemicals to swish around our brain a lot longer and thus, improving our mood and lifting our depression.
I hope this has helped people understand a bit more about what happens physically when we get depressed and how the medication prescribed to us is SUPPOSED to work. I apologise in advance if you knew about this, I just hope it helps those who don't understand a bit more. Cheers for being patient and for letting me ramble on.
Our brain produces and releases these chemicals called seratonin. This chemical basically is responsible for our mood etc ( making us feel good etc ). When we get low anxious, our brain doesn't produce enough of these feel good chemicals. Or and this is a bummer, it releases these " nice chemicals " but instead of letting them swish around our brain making us feel good etc, it then reabsorbs them into the part of brain that releases them. What the anti depressants do is stimulate our brain to produce these " feeling nice " chemicals and cleverly, anti depressants like SSRIs, stop the " feeling nice " chemicals from being reabsorbed into our brains. Allowing the " feeling nice" chemicals to swish around our brain a lot longer and thus, improving our mood and lifting our depression.
I hope this has helped people understand a bit more about what happens physically when we get depressed and how the medication prescribed to us is SUPPOSED to work. I apologise in advance if you knew about this, I just hope it helps those who don't understand a bit more. Cheers for being patient and for letting me ramble on.
I’m led to believe that aerobic exercise does the same thing, hence why it’s being encouraged as part of treatment ?