Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Barnfred 55]

Hi Paul, sorry your feeling like you are. I genuinely feel your putting a little bit too much " weight " behind the chat you had with your friends. You can easily flip things around. Those of us who are married can testify to our marriages not being perfect and the stresses and strains a marriage can put on you. You may very well be very shy but you know what, so what. It's who you are. As for putting obstacles in the way of possible meet ups / relationships, that's fear on your part that things will go wrong. Yes, they might go wrong but conversely, they might go wonderfully and lead to good things.

My advice Paul, cut yourself some slack. Your being too harsh on yourself buddy. Give relationships a try. It really is about trial and error and the fun is in the trying, right? I'm sure you have a lot to offer someone, your obviously a kind caring fella, so don't be hard on yourself son, there will be someone out there just like you looking for a nice relationship so accept that things won't be perfect all the time and be yourself. There really ISNT anything WRONG with you, a lot of people experience the same issues.

Take care Paul.

Merely liking that post doesn't do it justice. Well said mate.

 

[David09]

Thanks to everyone who responded, it really means a lot.

Feeling really down today, but tomorrow is another day to go again !

Your two best friends were trying to help you mate. They will be gutted if they thought they thought they had annoyed or hurt you in any way.
Do you think they may have noticed you had been down in the dumps and were trying to boost your confidence.

 

[blue to the bone]

Been feeling pretty crap since the turn of the year. No incentive to do anything or go anywhere. Have this nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach constantly though don't know what I'm nervous about.

It all started just before xmas, when i went out for a meal with my 2 best friends and they spent most of the night lecturing me about where my life was heading. I still live at home and single, whilst they're both in happy relationships and have there own place. I know they meant well but it left me feeling pretty awful about myself. I have since avoided speaking to them unless they contact me and make an excuse for a couple of potential meet ups since.

As a result i decided to sign up to an internet dating site, which in hindsight was a terrible idea, as this left me feeling more anxious. I did get talking to someone nice, but he we never met, mainly because I put an obstacle in front of every scenario about meeting up and it fizzled out to the point where there is no contact now. This again has left me feeling down about the whole situation.

My main issue is human contact, I've been wfh since the pandemic and as a result the only contact I've had is with my family which i know isn't healthy but at the same time I dread the thought of going back to the office and have put distance between myself and friends.

In short I wouldn't say I'm suffering with depression, but I know something isn't right with me and it's taking a while to type all this as maybe seeing it in writing will help as I refuse to talk about it with anyone as don't want to cause people I care about stress.

Read this the other day and it resonated a lot with me .
Posted here a few times and back around December said how I was feeling fairly down and it would pass. Well it hasn't and if anything it's got worse . A relationship was ending and u guess I felt it might be able to get back but not now . I have tried to but a positive spin on things and not feel sorry for myself but it's hard to find the motivation. I live alone and at times I like it because I can shut people out but then other times I am lonely.
I get on with things , work on my own mainly so that gets done but I am finding it very hard to find any joy in life. I'm existing but not living if that makes sense.

 

[Barnfred 55]

Read this the other day and it resonated a lot with me .
Posted here a few times and back around December said how I was feeling fairly down and it would pass. Well it hasn't and if anything it's got worse . A relationship was ending and u guess I felt it might be able to get back but not now . I have tried to but a positive spin on things and not feel sorry for myself but it's hard to find the motivation. I live alone and at times I like it because I can shut people out but then other times I am lonely.
I get on with things , work on my own mainly so that gets done but I am finding it very hard to find any joy in life. I'm existing but not living if that makes sense.

Mate. Although I've been going through similar scenario these past 4 months I'm not too sure what to say to you. What works as coping mechanisms for me won't necessarily work for other people. I find that occupying myself with things I enjoy like cooking, watching TV/Films, reading and listening to music enables me to park my problems and the things that get me feeling down. I know I'm fortunate in that regard, a lot of people find it hard to do that. Loneliness is probably the biggest issue for me, so when I am feeling lonely I phone somebody, friend or family, just for a chat and a catch up. It helps me. You could also try blogging in the Messy Mascot thread in the Ale House forum. They're a great bunch in there, probably only about a dozen or so regular posters, but they look out for each other and have a good laugh. Some days it really cheers me up when I'm feeling a bit low.

I think the most important thing is not to suffer alone. Talk to somebody or post in here. Just don't suffer alone.

 

[blue to the bone]

Mate. Although I've been going through similar scenario these past 4 months I'm not too sure what to say to you. What works as coping mechanisms for me won't necessarily work for other people. I find that occupying myself with things I enjoy like cooking, watching TV/Films, reading and listening to music enables me to park my problems and the things that get me feeling down. I know I'm fortunate in that regard, a lot of people find it hard to do that. Loneliness is probably the biggest issue for me, so when I am feeling lonely I phone somebody, friend or family, just for a chat and a catch up. It helps me. You could also try blogging in the Messy Mascot thread in the Ale House forum. They're a great bunch in there, probably only about a dozen or so regular posters, but they look out for each other and have a good laugh. Some days it really cheers me up when I'm feeling a bit low.

I think the most important thing is not to suffer alone. Talk to somebody or post in here. Just don't suffer alone.

Thanks for that. I find it hard to chat to people about it and not sure who in my life I could tell how I'm feeling to if I'm honest .
When I'm doing things I'm OK but sitting at home at night is the hardest for me.

 

[Barnfred 55]

Thanks for that. I find it hard to chat to people about it and not sure who in my life I could tell how I'm feeling to if I'm honest .
When I'm doing things I'm OK but sitting at home at night is the hardest for me.

Me too mate.

I'm OK talking about things because my problem is already out there with the people that know me. But most of my conversations revolve around other subjects, work, football, films and TV, just general things. I'm often on the phone for an hour and don't mention my problems once. It's just the act if conversing with another person that takes away the loneliness and leaves me feeling better within myself, even if only for a while.

If you do feel the need to share your feelings but don't know who with, there are organisations out there that help. I'm sure somebody on here can point you in the right direction.

 

[blue to the bone]

Me too mate.

I'm OK talking about things because my problem is already out there with the people that know me. But most of my conversations revolve around other subjects, work, football, films and TV, just general things. I'm often on the phone for an hour and don't mention my problems once. It's just the act if conversing with another person that takes away the loneliness and leaves me feeling better within myself, even if only for a while.

If you do feel the need to share your feelings but don't know who with, there are organisations out there that help. I'm sure somebody on here can point you in the right direction.

Thanks again. Ya I do have a couple of mates I would chat to about other stuff all right.
I used get down a bit before but it was the end of the relationship and what has happened since has made this time a lot worse.

 

[Barnfred 55]

Thanks again. Ya I do have a couple of mates I would chat to about other stuff all right.
I used get down a bit before but it was the end of the relationship and what has happened since has made this time a lot worse.

I know it's hard mate. Just don't keep it bottled up. Even if it's just coming in here like you have today.

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks again. Ya I do have a couple of mates I would chat to about other stuff all right.
I used get down a bit before but it was the end of the relationship and what has happened since has made this time a lot worse.

You know what mate, the people who are closest to you, probably have already realised that things aren’t right with you, but just don’t know how to broach it with you.

I know when I was really bad and eventuality told a couple of good mates, they said that they already knew, but didn’t know what to say to me.

One lad even confided, that he’d been taking medication for a while for similar problems, but he’d kept it quiet.

 

[blue to the bone]

You know what mate, the people who are closest to you, probably have already realised that things aren’t right with you, but just don’t know how to broach it with you.

I know when I was really bad and eventuality told a couple of good mates, they said that they already knew, but didn’t know what to say to me.

One lad even confided, that he’d been taking medication for a while for similar problems, but he’d kept it quiet.

I know my mother senses it buy we wouldn't ever chat like that . We get on fine just never that type of relationship.

 

[COYBL25]

I know my mother senses it buy we wouldn't ever chat like that . We get on fine just never that type of relationship.

I’m the same mate, so I spoke to a couple of my good mates over a bevy one night.

They’d both had their own problems in the past and I’d been there for both of them, so that deffo helped !

 

[blue to the bone]

I’m the same mate, so I spoke to a couple of my good mates over a bevy one night.

They’d both had their own problems in the past and I’d been there for both of them, so that deffo helped !

I might try it mate .
Right now I just want to lock the door and close the curtains to the world though.
Not nice is it

 

[COYBL25]

I might try it mate .
Right now I just want to lock the door and close the curtains to the world though.
Not nice is it

It’s horrible and the Winter doesn’t help either.

The dog I had at the time, helped dig me out of the hole I was in, as she needed a long walk every day ( Spaniel ! ) and you can’t avoid talking to other dog walkers, even if you want to. I’d meet up with them every morning and made a load of mates as I result.

From that I got back into my running, just a mile or two to start with and then gradually back into it full time.

It’s what keeps my head on now.

 

[blue to the bone]

It’s horrible and the Winter doesn’t help either.

The dog I had at the time, helped dig me out of the hole I was in, as she needed a long walk every day ( Spaniel ! ) and you can’t avoid talking to other dog walkers, even if you want to. I’d meet up with them every morning and made a load of mates as I result.

From that I got back into my running, just a mile or two to start with and then gradually back into it full time.

It’s what keeps my head on now.

Ya I do walk the dog a bit . But currently try to go quite routes ! It's strange been lonely but also wanting to avoid people !

 

[Curtis]

Hi wrote about my plight a couple months ago, unfortunately my hardships have not abated , if anything my distress has been exacerbated. Just to recap I've been dealing with a slew of health issues including psychogenic seizures (elicited by stress and depression) that I was able to manage for a period of time. Met an incredible human being but felt self conscious so I deceitful over my age of only 4 years too. She severed ties several months ago still has yet to contact me in over two and half months. In that time I continue to wallow in despair and my seizures and just general health issues have been prevalent. Get light headed burst into tears, chronic panic attacks. I tried to heed the advice provided by this thread- attempt to find someone else, press forward with my life but I find myself just unacknowledged. My friends don't even contact me, this is so pathetic but other than my parents i haven't had a call or a text socially in two months. I feel so disconnected from the world. I still work but still the two days a week where it's a struggle to make it through my shifts as i battle to not collapse at work. Also my other issue are becoming more prevalent like i didn't mention my crippling ocd. I have a fear of chemicals especially carbon monoxide poisoning and it generates constant anxiety like on Howard hughes levels of panic. Since I live in the U.S and struggle to work I can't access to affordable healthcare and disability is incredibly difficult to attain, which I dont know if I even want it with the stigma attached I'm struggling to function and I live in a constant impoverished state. I just dont know what to do. Yesterday I had three seizures I'm currently bedridden and feel like I'm just squandering more of my life. If this is too intense I apologize but like I said I feel so alone currently. The melancholy just metacizes