Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Blue Piper]

I'm currently trying to curb drinking, I'm 5 days in, I know that's not that long, but recently my drinking has brought nothing but problems. I've don't think I'm an Alcoholic although I have been to AA a few times, but while I relate to some things I feel it's a bit culty. I'll try to give up on ale for a few months, I don't know whether anyone on here knows whether alcohol contributes to depression or it doesn't I don't know, but I'll give it a rest for a while, it's costing me too much money and poor health issues.

You can be having problems with alcohol without being an alcoholic. Usually if you hit some type of wall (health issues) you stop drinking. An alcoholic cannot stop without some type of outside help. They say that you have a problem with drinking when it costs you more than money.

 

[JelavicBrate2]

Alcohol is a depressant . I’m ok having 4 or pints I can function the next day . Anything over that I’m in bed for the day . If it’s spirits I can basically write off the next 5 days .

so because I have depression I very rarely drink now .

if I fancy a pint in the house I’ll Try and have a shandy .

I struggle with the whole thing of labels surrounding alcohol, I drink far more than you mate and don't really get hangovers, unless I drink spirits which I rarely do. But I do feel lethargic a lot of the time, when I've drank too much, I think drink often calms me down for a bit and makes me happy, but I do think overdoing it causes me problems as well.

 

[COYBL25]

I struggle with the whole thing of labels surrounding alcohol, I drink far more than you mate and don't really get hangovers, unless I drink spirits which I rarely do. But I do feel lethargic a lot of the time, when I've drank too much, I think drink often calms me down for a bit and makes me happy, but I do think overdoing it causes me problems as well.

Hangovers turbo charge anxiety too mate, as the chemicals in your brain that regulate your moods, get messed up post drink.

Hence why a lot of people with drink and anxiety problems, can seem moody / aggressive / withdrawn / all of them.

 

[NathDogg]

I struggle with the whole thing of labels surrounding alcohol, I drink far more than you mate and don't really get hangovers, unless I drink spirits which I rarely do. But I do feel lethargic a lot of the time, when I've drank too much, I think drink often calms me down for a bit and makes me happy, but I do think overdoing it causes me problems as well.

Best of luck with cutting back mate - at least you’ve identified an issue and are trying to take steps to change things - often that’s the biggest battle.

I can take drink or leave it tbh, do like a couple at the weekend and at parties, but I can go without for weeks and not take a single drink.

Had a few mates who had real problems with drink and a few are teetotal now, and are much better both physically and mentally.

If you simply like the taste (and not the boozy feeling) then there are some really good low and no alcohol products available now, that taste as good if not better than some alcohol products out there - maybe try those as well?

Anyway, all the best mate.

 

[Bluebonic]

Seriously, I think i am going senile! Just read the lats three pages wondering why everyone was being so nice and why ( so far) nobody had even mentioned Erikson (which gives a clue as to what thread I thought I had clicked on!!

FFS! Anyway, look after yourselves and I hope things work out for you all, I am off to see who is arguing with who on the other threads.

 

[USABlue]

Really struggling with balancing socializing and my concerns about Covid. One of my mates wants a bunch of us to go up and visit this weekend for his 30th birthday but I know they will all want to go to crowded indoor bars. I'm very concerned about developing Long Covid (apparently 1 in 5 Americans who've had Covid do). I already battle with migraines, depression, anxiety, and the associated fatigue from those. Couldn't imagine the struggle if those symptoms get exacerbated long term by Covid

 

[Goat]

Really struggling with balancing socializing and my concerns about Covid. One of my mates wants a bunch of us to go up and visit this weekend for his 30th birthday but I know they will all want to go to crowded indoor bars. I'm very concerned about developing Long Covid (apparently 1 in 5 Americans who've had Covid do). I already battle with migraines, depression, anxiety, and the associated fatigue from those. Couldn't imagine the struggle if those symptoms get exacerbated long term by Covid

Only worry about the things you can control.

Advice like that is probably why I dont post in this thread much.

But at times I overthink things, I used to be quite bad, what if, but life is for living, worry about the what if, if and when the what if happens.

Covid isnt going anywhere mate, you cant hide forever, im honestly trying to be helpful here, im utter garbo at this stuff. Im not dismissing your fears, your fears are real, its been how long since covid started? And I havent long stopped doing the what if myself, 40,000 people in Goodison was challenging when they first allowed crowds back in.

But what is life if we dont do the things we enjoy? Go, have fun, kiss some girls.

 

[USABlue]

Only worry about the things you can control.

Advice like that is probably why I dont post in this thread much.

But at times I overthink things, I used to be quite bad, what if, but life is for living, worry about the what if, if and when the what if happens.

Covid isnt going anywhere mate, you cant hide forever, im honestly trying to be helpful here, im utter garbo at this stuff. Im not dismissing your fears, your fears are real, its been how long since covid started? And I havent long stopped doing the what if myself, 40,000 people in Goodison was challenging when they first allowed crowds back in.

But what is life if we dont do the things we enjoy? Go, have fun, kiss some girls.

Cheers mate. I've been getting out the last few weeks when I can for outdoor activities (beach trip, baseball game, etc.) It's really just the crowded indoor stuff that concerns me. Definitely going to the game vs Arsenal in July over here in the States.

 

[Goat]

Cheers mate. I've been getting out the last few weeks when I can for outdoor activities (beach trip, baseball game, etc.) It's really just the crowded indoor stuff that concerns me. Definitely going to the game vs Arsenal in July over here in the States.

You arent alone mate, I think a lot of people still have very real covid concerns.

But stay away from Everton, its defo not good for your mental health.

 

[brieverton]

Been feeling very empty and down as of late. Have always been an introverted person, but neither shy nor lonely but I'm feeling that living alone in my mid 40s is becoming more and more difficult. I work long hours in a demanding job, and that is both a blessing and a curse.

After I've been to the gym and work, and done household work, it's not unusual for me to be in bed by 9pm each night, and I do that at weekends as well. Even though Everton's struggles felt stressful and exhausting, they were a distraction in their own way. I feel now that there is nothing intrinsic to look forward to, and every day is the same.

It's actually my social skills that are lacking I think. I know people will say take a night class, take up a new hobby, volunteer etc but I just have no motivation to do any of those things. I have been on meds for anxiety/depression but not taking any currently, and have had CBT and counselling. I talk to my GP regularly and he is empathetic but outside of more therapy, I get the impression that even he is at a loss to suggest anything.

I think its a form of functional depression that I have. I meet all my obligations, and coping well at work, and I take regular and intensive exercise. I'm physically well and eat well. It's just this creeping emptiness. I'm almost dare to say it, looking forward to the start of the season again just as it will provide something for my mind to focus on.

 

[Spotty]

Been feeling very empty and down as of late. Have always been an introverted person, but neither shy nor lonely but I'm feeling that living alone in my mid 40s is becoming more and more difficult. I work long hours in a demanding job, and that is both a blessing and a curse.

After I've been to the gym and work, and done household work, it's not unusual for me to be in bed by 9pm each night, and I do that at weekends as well. Even though Everton's struggles felt stressful and exhausting, they were a distraction in their own way. I feel now that there is nothing intrinsic to look forward to, and every day is the same.

It's actually my social skills that are lacking I think. I know people will say take a night class, take up a new hobby, volunteer etc but I just have no motivation to do any of those things. I have been on meds for anxiety/depression but not taking any currently, and have had CBT and counselling. I talk to my GP regularly and he is empathetic but outside of more therapy, I get the impression that even he is at a loss to suggest anything.

I think its a form of functional depression that I have. I meet all my obligations, and coping well at work, and I take regular and intensive exercise. I'm physically well and eat well. It's just this creeping emptiness. I'm almost dare to say it, looking forward to the start of the season again just as it will provide something for my mind to focus on.

Brieverton, I'm sorry to hear your feeling low at present. Having " no motivation " is symptomatic of someone who is depressed. Sleeping a lot is also a possible / probable symptom of depression. The land of dreams allows you to escape the emptiness of your life. I also think companionship will be helpfull. You have no stimulation, nothing to get as Poirot says, " your grey little cells " going. It's healthy to be challenged psychologically, it stimulates you, you have to " fight " your corner. You being quiet is not a disability, it's not a negative, it's who you are, it's your personality. You wanting the season to start again is indicative of someone who wants to be part of something, where you can voice your opinions, be part of a collective where you have an agreed aim.. Your yearning for your life to have a meaning.

Obvious I know, but you really do need to be more proactive, briev. Things are not going to change without you " putting yourself out there ". You allude to not being on your meds, but psychotropic intervention, taking medication, might give you the motivation to be more positive. A gentle kick up the backside if you like. I'm sure it's not your personality. I feel sad for you because I think you have a lot to offer someone, whether personally in a relationship perhaps, or in terms of helping others. Your self esteem is at rock bottom bud, but the worthless mundane life you appear to be living can change. The first thing you need to do is get help in changing your mindset, think " what do I need to do, to get some motivation, to change my way of thinking. When this happens and you are feeling more motivated to " get out there " and share your life, you need to seize the moment. Be yourself, be prepared to challenge yourself, be prepared to be disagreed but don't let the fact that your quiet be a dividing factor in whether or not you start living your life. There are people out there who will need you, will look to you for support and help and who, when you have given that support, will says to you " thanks, you've been a Godsend and you've been a real help ". You watch your mood lift. There might also be that person like yourself who are looking for companionship and perhaps, a little more. They won't judge you, criticize you. They will take you for who you are. BUT FIRST, WHAT DO I NEED TO GET OUT THERE, THEN GET OUT THERE AND GRAB LIFE HARD AND SQUEEZE. You have loads to offer Briev, honest, and life can be more enjoyable and interesting, show them who you are and what you have to offer. Take care and good luck buddy.

 

[chicoazul]

Alcohol is a depressant . I’m ok having 4 or pints I can function the next day . Anything over that I’m in bed for the day . If it’s spirits I can basically write off the next 5 days .

so because I have depression I very rarely drink now .

if I fancy a pint in the house I’ll Try and have a shandy .

Same here. Too much of a session I wake up with palpitations and spend next day or two staring at my feet. It’s one thing to recognise it, another to break the habit. Well in for doing just that.

 

[brieverton]

Brieverton, I'm sorry to hear your feeling low at present. Having " no motivation " is symptomatic of someone who is depressed. Sleeping a lot is also a possible / probable symptom of depression. The land of dreams allows you to escape the emptiness of your life. I also think companionship will be helpfull. You have no stimulation, nothing to get as Poirot says, " your grey little cells " going. It's healthy to be challenged psychologically, it stimulates you, you have to " fight " your corner. You being quiet is not a disability, it's not a negative, it's who you are, it's your personality. You wanting the season to start again is indicative of someone who wants to be part of something, where you can voice your opinions, be part of a collective where you have an agreed aim.. Your yearning for your life to have a meaning.

Obvious I know, but you really do need to be more proactive, briev. Things are not going to change without you " putting yourself out there ". You allude to not being on your meds, but psychotropic intervention, taking medication, might give you the motivation to be more positive. A gentle kick up the backside if you like. I'm sure it's not your personality. I feel sad for you because I think you have a lot to offer someone, whether personally in a relationship perhaps, or in terms of helping others. Your self esteem is at rock bottom bud, but the worthless mundane life you appear to be living can change. The first thing you need to do is get help in changing your mindset, think " what do I need to do, to get some motivation, to change my way of thinking. When this happens and you are feeling more motivated to " get out there " and share your life, you need to seize the moment. Be yourself, be prepared to challenge yourself, be prepared to be disagreed but don't let the fact that your quiet be a dividing factor in whether or not you start living your life. There are people out there who will need you, will look to you for support and help and who, when you have given that support, will says to you " thanks, you've been a Godsend and you've been a real help ". You watch your mood lift. There might also be that person like yourself who are looking for companionship and perhaps, a little more. They won't judge you, criticize you. They will take you for who you are. BUT FIRST, WHAT DO I NEED TO GET OUT THERE, THEN GET OUT THERE AND GRAB LIFE HARD AND SQUEEZE. You have loads to offer Briev, honest, and life can be more enjoyable and interesting, show them who you are and what you have to offer. Take care and good luck buddy.

Thanks mate, lots to ponder on there. Appreciate the suggestions and insights.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

Been feeling very empty and down as of late. Have always been an introverted person, but neither shy nor lonely but I'm feeling that living alone in my mid 40s is becoming more and more difficult. I work long hours in a demanding job, and that is both a blessing and a curse.

After I've been to the gym and work, and done household work, it's not unusual for me to be in bed by 9pm each night, and I do that at weekends as well. Even though Everton's struggles felt stressful and exhausting, they were a distraction in their own way. I feel now that there is nothing intrinsic to look forward to, and every day is the same.

It's actually my social skills that are lacking I think. I know people will say take a night class, take up a new hobby, volunteer etc but I just have no motivation to do any of those things. I have been on meds for anxiety/depression but not taking any currently, and have had CBT and counselling. I talk to my GP regularly and he is empathetic but outside of more therapy, I get the impression that even he is at a loss to suggest anything.

I think its a form of functional depression that I have. I meet all my obligations, and coping well at work, and I take regular and intensive exercise. I'm physically well and eat well. It's just this creeping emptiness. I'm almost dare to say it, looking forward to the start of the season again just as it will provide something for my mind to focus on.

Sorry to hear mate, would you consider getting another dog/pet for company?

I do Yoga and Jiu Jitsu in my spare time but honestly nothing beats being able to just get out for a walk with the dog on a chilled afternoon away from the mad house !

Hope you feel better soon pal x

 

[brieverton]

Sorry to hear mate, would you consider getting another dog/pet for company?

I do Yoga and Jiu Jitsu in my spare time but honestly nothing beats being able to just get out for a walk with the dog on a chilled afternoon away from the mad house !

Hope you feel better soon pal x

Thanks for your good wishes mate, much appreciated.

Another dog would help for sure. I haven't ruled it out, just the daycare options are not as broad as they used to be and I don't want to burden anyone in that respect with the level of commitment required. If someone offered to help, I'd probably take them up on it.

Your right about the joys of going for a walk with your dog, it is one of the most pleasurable yet simple activities there can be. Thanks again mate and best to you.