Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Rita_Poon]

COYB , yes he does have a dual diagnosis but we " had ?" a great therapeutic relationship. If he asked " Terry I'm desperate for a phone " I would have gotten him one. He could have had onel of my old ones. It's the fact he stole it, and THATS why he's crestfallen. I've gone above and beyond for him then he does this. The phone can be replaced, he's made me think the World s a dark place full of selfish greedy tw*ts, and the people I care for aren't worth it. I shed a tear today, not ashamed to say, it's made me so angry. Dear me, I'm so so naïve, will I ever learn !?

Been a bit. Not always the easiest thread to engage with.
I'm probably miles off, but I'll have a go, the thing about boundary finding with someone advanced beyond a baby is that they are testing forgiveness, because they don't know how, or something has happened to them so awful that there is 'nothing'. Pain does quite incredible things, lasting things, the shadow of suffering and misery is a serpent. I'm not suggesting saying thanks, I suggest keeping tabs though, because if an 'official' rejection is whats happened it might be a testing of the water for someone not prepared to trust anyone to reinforce their [i suspect] decades held belief that the worst thing in this world is other people.
When everyone youve ever cared about (or thought you did) has let you down, what novelty when you let yourself down. The core of self esteem and self respect.

Some start in deficit and never find a positive.

 

[Kurt.]

Guys, please indulge me. Posted on here about 2 weeks ago … I was lost, hurting and felt so alone. It was hard for me to admit to myself I was so low as I’m quite a proud and independent man .. but I’ve learnt a valuable lesson , mental health isn’t picky, you don’t do anything that makes you a sufferer, mental health doesn’t choose you .. it’s not picky .. I reached out in here at my lowest and 2 weeks on I feel much better, life makes more sense and I feel I am important to some people and I am worth something. People on here were fantastic, I even had a very good friend, whom I love dearly, contact my partner to get hold of me to check I was ok… that made me feel I was worth something to some people, even today I received a message on here checking up on me.. let me assure you all , I’m ok and working through things. I would never embarrass the people who contacted me but honestly if someone on here reaches out to you when you’re at your lowest please believe that they care and are genuine in their concern. I was down in the darkest place but this place pulled me back and I will forever be indebted to those who contacted me… anybody who is struggling please please reach out .. there are so many good people on here who genuinely care.

 

[Rita_Poon]

Guys, please indulge me. Posted on here about 2 weeks ago … I was lost, hurting and felt so alone. It was hard for me to admit to myself I was so low as I’m quite a proud and independent man .. but I’ve learnt a valuable lesson , mental health isn’t picky, you don’t do anything that makes you a sufferer, mental health doesn’t choose you .. it’s not picky .. I reached out in here at my lowest and 2 weeks on I feel much better, life makes more sense and I feel I am important to some people and I am worth something. People on here were fantastic, I even had a very good friend, whom I love dearly, contact my partner to get hold of me to check I was ok… that made me feel I was worth something to some people, even today I received a message on here checking up on me.. let me assure you all , I’m ok and working through things. I would never embarrass the people who contacted me but honestly if someone on here reaches out to you when you’re at your lowest please believe that they care and are genuine in their concern. I was down in the darkest place but this place pulled me back and I will forever be indebted to those who contacted me… anybody who is struggling please please reach out .. there are so many good people on here who genuinely care.

It is sharing that is catharsis. The weight of personal trauma doesn't have to drown you. Having held a breath or two I cannot recommend it. Let it out, get it out, be done with it. No more misery.

 

[LinekersLegs]

Guys, please indulge me. Posted on here about 2 weeks ago … I was lost, hurting and felt so alone. It was hard for me to admit to myself I was so low as I’m quite a proud and independent man .. but I’ve learnt a valuable lesson , mental health isn’t picky, you don’t do anything that makes you a sufferer, mental health doesn’t choose you .. it’s not picky .. I reached out in here at my lowest and 2 weeks on I feel much better, life makes more sense and I feel I am important to some people and I am worth something. People on here were fantastic, I even had a very good friend, whom I love dearly, contact my partner to get hold of me to check I was ok… that made me feel I was worth something to some people, even today I received a message on here checking up on me.. let me assure you all , I’m ok and working through things. I would never embarrass the people who contacted me but honestly if someone on here reaches out to you when you’re at your lowest please believe that they care and are genuine in their concern. I was down in the darkest place but this place pulled me back and I will forever be indebted to those who contacted me… anybody who is struggling please please reach out .. there are so many good people on here who genuinely care.

So glad you posted this Kurt, both because you are feeling better and for the message it sends to others who are currently feeling low.

One of the cruelest things about depression is that it makes you think that others don’t care, you are alone and that this darkness you are feeling will last.

It lies.

You can feel joy and happiness again.

Hang on.

Talk and share the pain, you matter to more people than you might realize.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I am fuming. One of my patients stole my mobile phone. I have needed supervision to deal with this. I'm a health professional, I AM a compassionate man and I WILL go the " extra mile " for the patient's. But this has knocked the stuffing out of me. He's been " passed on " to another nurse but he is traumatised that he did it. He's tried to call me but I've been advised to stop contact with him. We've been through a lot together but I hate the way he has left me feeling, I wanted to scream at him, but I've been left losing my faith in humanity. It's been left up to me whether or not to report it to the police , but I can't. It's how this whole episode has left me feeling is the upsetting part. I dispair sometimes. I'll be fine in a week or so.

I completely understand how you feel. You've invested so much of yourself in this patient and they have responded by stealing your phone. No wonder you feel angry, sad and let down. I've had union members behave in ways that have kept me with all those feelings You've worked so hard for them, lost sleep over them and then they do something that makes you feel why am I doing this? Don't let it lose your faith in humanity though. You're a top guy, the advice you give on here is so good and I'm sure you're exactly the same in real life. Think of all ypur patients who value you and appreciate you. They will vastly outnumber the one who let you down.

 

[COYBL25]

I completely understand how you feel. You've invested so much of yourself in this patient and they have responded by stealing your phone. No wonder you feel angry, sad and let down. I've had union members behave in ways that have kept me with all those feelings You've worked so hard for them, lost sleep over them and then they do something that makes you feel why am I doing this? Don't let it lose your faith in humanity though. You're a top guy, the advice you give on here is so good and I'm sure you're exactly the same in real life. Think of all ypur patients who value you and appreciate you. They will vastly outnumber the one who let you down.

It`s the same with friends and family, sometimes the ones who step up, are the ones you least expect, just as much as the ones you thought you could rely on and ultimately let you down.

 

[Spotty]

I think naive people are the most genuine of people because they trust and believe in other people, to be let down by people you so much for is bound to more than upset you but they would do that to the people they really like, love even, those closest to them, like you have just found out. I have been let down a few times by friends close to me and I think I am street wise. I’ve continued to help them but I’m a lot more wary of them and they know it. You did right not to report them, a couple of weeks later, if you had reported them, you would have hated yourself.

You’re better than that, think about giving them another chance, it won’t be easy, but if you do, keep your eye on them, let them know your not a soft touch but help them, you’ll feel better about yourself, most of all don’t ever think your a failure because someone you trusted let you down very badly, they are the failures, just don’t let them fail again,best of luck and think of the people you have helped and they have improved because of you.

I think naive people are the most genuine of people because they trust and believe in other people, to be let down by people you so much for is bound to more than upset you but they would do that to the people they really like, love even, those closest to them, like you have just found out. I have been let down a few times by friends close to me and I think I am street wise. I’ve continued to help them but I’m a lot more wary of them and they know it. You did right not to report them, a couple of weeks later, if you had reported them, you would have hated yourself.

You’re better than that, think about giving them another chance, it won’t be easy, but if you do, keep your eye on them, let them know your not a soft touch but help them, you’ll feel better about yourself, most of all don’t ever think your a failure because someone you trusted let you down very badly, they are the failures, just don’t let them fail again,best of luck and think of the people you have helped and they have improved because of you.

I completely understand how you feel. You've invested so much of yourself in this patient and they have responded by stealing your phone. No wonder you feel angry, sad and let down. I've had union members behave in ways that have kept me with all those feelings You've worked so hard for them, lost sleep over them and then they do something that makes you feel why am I doing this? Don't let it lose your faith in humanity though. You're a top guy, the advice you give on here is so good and I'm sure you're exactly the same in real life. Think of all ypur patients who value you and appreciate you. They will vastly outnumber the one who let you down.

Nice post Angel. Feeling less angry. Concerned how much affect it will have on him. As I say to the my students " recovery is about accepting set backs, learn from them, and moving on "

 

[Spotty]

I think naive people are the most genuine of people because they trust and believe in other people, to be let down by people you so much for is bound to more than upset you but they would do that to the people they really like, love even, those closest to them, like you have just found out. I have been let down a few times by friends close to me and I think I am street wise. I’ve continued to help them but I’m a lot more wary of them and they know it. You did right not to report them, a couple of weeks later, if you had reported them, you would have hated yourself.

You’re better than that, think about giving them another chance, it won’t be easy, but if you do, keep your eye on them, let them know your not a soft touch but help them, you’ll feel better about yourself, most of all don’t ever think your a failure because someone you trusted let you down very badly, they are the failures, just don’t let them fail again,best of luck and think of the people you have helped and they have improved because of you.

Cameron that's a positive post and I didn't think you or anyone else for that matter, would be anything other than supportive. Been doing mental health nursing for an age but still perhaps " caring " too much. Conversely, it's the caring that gets me up in the morning and the card I got from a patient's mum thanking me for well, " caring " for their son that makes it worth while. Sounds purile and mundane but it mattered a lot to me. So I have no control over whether or not I care, it's autonomic. As for " improved because of you " remark, has some resonance on here I think. When I pop in and read a post from someone like COYB and Gladys supporting someone I often think, to some it's nothing even futile, however, to the person desperate to hear a soothing thought, or to someone who is contemplating the worse, to hear that " I'm hear to listen " comment can make ALL the difference. Isn't ironic that in today's high tech, information savvy world we live in, people just want to here they aren't alone. Enough from me, take care all.

 

[Spotty]

Incidentally COYBL and Gladys, I meant what I said. It's good folk like you and other regulars, that make this forum a very safe and reassuring place for people who are often desperate. You should be proud of yourselves and you do make a difference.

 

[witchdoc187]

I'm really [Poor language removed] depressed. But seeing my boy dancing around for England keeps me alive. Let's hope we go further

 

[Rita_Poon]

I'm really [Poor language removed] depressed. But seeing my boy dancing around for England keeps me alive. Let's hope we go further

Is there anything besides the joy of your kid that provides you any respite? album? tv series? hobby? late nights and 'negative behaviours' add up to making the following day an ordeal. Sometimes not knowing why you're feeling down is worse than the knowing why. Drs? CBT?

There's 15 days to the shortest day and then we head towards spring and more light and more warmth. This fact is keeping me going.

 

[Cameron Manning]

Cameron that's a positive post and I didn't think you or anyone else for that matter, would be anything other than supportive. Been doing mental health nursing for an age but still perhaps " caring " too much. Conversely, it's the caring that gets me up in the morning and the card I got from a patient's mum thanking me for well, " caring " for their son that makes it worth while. Sounds purile and mundane but it mattered a lot to me. So I have no control over whether or not I care, it's autonomic. As for " improved because of you " remark, has some resonance on here I think. When I pop in and read a post from someone like COYB and Gladys supporting someone I often think, to some it's nothing even futile, however, to the person desperate to hear a soothing thought, or to someone who is contemplating the worse, to hear that " I'm hear to listen " comment can make ALL the difference. Isn't ironic that in today's high tech, information savvy world we live in, people just want to here they aren't alone. Enough from me, take care all.

Thanks for your reply: It’s so very true that when a person is sick or down and depressed even a short telephone call to them is a tonic, just knowing that someone cares about them enough to give a reassuring voice that they want to know how they are.

Very best wishes Spotty and your post tells me how genuine you are, not wanting any pats on the back for the terrific work you do but just getting on helping the people you look after as part of every day life. : Well you are getting that pat on the back from me.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Guys, please indulge me. Posted on here about 2 weeks ago … I was lost, hurting and felt so alone. It was hard for me to admit to myself I was so low as I’m quite a proud and independent man .. but I’ve learnt a valuable lesson , mental health isn’t picky, you don’t do anything that makes you a sufferer, mental health doesn’t choose you .. it’s not picky .. I reached out in here at my lowest and 2 weeks on I feel much better, life makes more sense and I feel I am important to some people and I am worth something. People on here were fantastic, I even had a very good friend, whom I love dearly, contact my partner to get hold of me to check I was ok… that made me feel I was worth something to some people, even today I received a message on here checking up on me.. let me assure you all , I’m ok and working through things. I would never embarrass the people who contacted me but honestly if someone on here reaches out to you when you’re at your lowest please believe that they care and are genuine in their concern. I was down in the darkest place but this place pulled me back and I will forever be indebted to those who contacted me… anybody who is struggling please please reach out .. there are so many good people on here who genuinely care.

Good to hear Kurt. So glad you are feeling better x

 

[Spotty]

I'm really [Poor language removed] depressed. But seeing my boy dancing around for England keeps me alive. Let's hope we go further

Witchdoc, as Rita has rightly alluded to, I think your post is sad and worrying. The inference you make " let's hope we go further " is concerning. Might I gently suggest if your up to it, to try to find out what's causing you to feel depressed my friend. If being depressed in is a regular thing for you as you know wears you down. Your peace of mind IS the most important aspect of being well for you and for everyone. Why do you think your mental health deteriorates ? A chat with a mental health professional - an assessment - may get to the causes of your depression. I know it can be difficult to get an appointment with a health professional Witchdoc, but that is an option. Go to your GP and ask " I need to find out why I'm getting depressed Dr, I'm desperate ". Ideally you want find out because it enables you to be pro active and avoid getting depressed in the first place. Take care Witchdoc. If you want to send me a DM, please do.

 

[Lobster Johnson]

After my last few posts on here in September I've really tried to do better. Notes around the house to remind me to do things I need to, sticking rigidly to my agenda and setting reminders for important stuff.

Today, I've found out that something I forgot to do 2 months ago has cost us another 300 quid and the whole cycle has started again. My girlfriend is, rightly, furious. Calling me all sorts and really yelling.

When somebody shouts at me, I can't handle it (thanks to my dad, who only communicated through yelling) and I just want to make it stop.

I've been sat in a darkened room for 45 minutes thinking some horrible stuff. Its just never going to get better. I'm never going to be able to function like a normal adult and she'll always have to worry about where the next surprise is coming from.